'Kay guys, sorry it took me so long to update, I apologize. There's been family issues, and writers block, and what not. Anyways, we have more Megatron opening up to Starscream, and Starscream falling deeper into depression and denial.
Point of view goes from Megatron, to Starscream.
"Response: Hook wanted me to find information on Starscream's history; he couldn't find it in his medical records, my Lord." Soundwave blat out monotonously.
"But why did Hook need to know this?" I asked, sitting down in my chair. I put my stabilizing servos up on the desk and folded my arms behind my head, classic human position.
"Answer: To better understand why Starscream aborted the sparkling, how to deal with it, and how to prevent it. He wasn't sure if it was a glitch or something more," he answered again.
I offlined my optics and pondered for a moment. Why did Starscream abort the sparkling?
"Reasons: He didn't want it to ever feel alone, and he didn't want to get attached and become weak, something his leader hates, my Lord," clearly Soundwave was listening in on my thoughts. I could block him out, but I chose not to. Besides, I didn't really have the energy to talk much. I needed to save it for Starscream.
And Starscream felt this way because...
"History: Starscream was abused, neglected, and raped as a sparkling. He was forced outside and then ran away, and his sire was arrested. He finished his sparklinghood in an orphanage with Thundercracker and Skywarp, while suppressing all his memories until now."
Why now?
"Answer: You."
I was completely silent and still for a moment, no thoughts, no speaking, no anything. That answer hit me so hard, I was completely blank as a response. He was right, it was my fault.
"Soundwave, what am I going to do? Starscream nearly deactivated himself when he tore the sparkling, my sparkling, from his chassis. He's insane...!" I said, feeling emotionally, down.
"Suggestion: Talk to him about it. Even if he can't respond, make yourself vulnerable. Tell him it upset you that he did it, and tell him why. Don't yell, don't hit, or you'll remind him of his past traumas. And if you really want a sparkling, bond before you try again."
"I told him I love him, how can I get any more vulnerable?" I asked. It was getting harder for my ventilation system to cycle, and I could feel something odd in my throat. What in the pit was wrong with me?
"Suggestion: Still tell him you love him, and tell him why. Tell him secrets you swore to Primus never to tell anybody. Heal him, love him, and bond with him."
I choked back whatever was burning in my throat, and told Soundwave: "Thank you Soundwave, you have been helpful. You are free to go."
I woke up, not too surprisingly, still in the med-bay. My legs felt almost as if they were burning in the pits themselves. I tried to get up, but was still so overwhelmingly drugged that I couldn't. Nobot was in there with me, and unfortunately, I was left to think to myself.
I didn't like too much time to myself; I didn't like being alone.
I tried to start up my comm. link, and Thundercracker answered it, but I couldn't speak while under the influence of the sedatives, so I was forced to end it. It was only a matter of astroseconds though before Skywarp came warping in with the blue mech I attempted to make contact with.
"'Screamer! You're still online!" He screamed, running over to me. The idiot practically jumped on me, rampantly sending near fire coursing through my circuits. I tried to speak again, but all I got out was a strangled gasp.
"Skywarp, get the pit off of him!" I heard TC yell from behind him. Just then Hook came rushing in, looking as if he was just in the middle of running what the pathetic Earthlings call a "marathon."
"What in the pit is going on in here?" He yelled. I cringed at the loudness of his vocalizer.
"Sorry Hook, but Starscream me and didn't actually say anything, so I had Skywarp warp us in. I didn't mean for him to get out of control," Thundercracker explained, glaring murderously at our brother for the last bit. Skywarp slinked off of me and sat next to me, guilty-looking as ever.
Hook slapped his helm, "you can't just do that! Do you have any idea how fragile he is right now? You could have just put him in massive amounts of pain!" He seethed. If I could speak at the moment, I'd tell him "you go, Constructicreep! Tell 'em!"
Skywarp, surprisingly, didn't back down. "I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean to hurt him! Do you honestly think I could ever do that? I mean really! No respect!"
Hook looked momentarily taken back before returning his glossa lashing. "You jumped on him! JUMPED. Of course that would hurt him! You sparklings are the ones who know nothing about respect!"
"Okay, the both of you, calm down. This isn't helping Starscream any." Thundercracker broke out. "Skywarp, Hooks right. You shouldn't have jumped on Star," Skywarp huffed and crossed his arms while Hook smirked with victory. "And Hook, we're just as old as you are, if not a little older. There's no point in trying to insult us with age," Hook lost his smirk and Skywarp calmed down.
"Starscream, is there anything you need?" He turned to me. Cursing my still inability to speak, I started the bond link.
Energon, painkillers, Megatron, quiet, possibly high-grade...I started listing off.
"I'll get Megatron!" Skywarp lit up. If I had the energy, I would have banged my helm into the table hard enough and quick enough to destroy it. What an idiot.
Thundercracker, equally upset Skywarp said that out loud, helm-servod himself. "I'll get you energon, no high-grade though. Hook, could you please get Starscream some painkillers?" He said, turning to the surgeon.
"Yeah," was his answer, before leaving in the direction of his office.
Thundercracker nodded in my direction before leaving for energon.
I didn't even realize I said his name over the bond. It just, happened. And Skywarp just fleed to get him.
I was a dead mech.
I fought to keep my optics online, staring at the blank ceiling above me to keep from falling into my thoughts. Hook momentarily returned, just quick enough to give me the medication before being off on his way again.
A flash of purple caught my attention, and I turned my sensors in it's direction.
"I got him 'Screamer! Just like you asked!" Skywarp beamed, smiling like the idiot he is. Megatron looked over at me and gave a slight smile too, before walking in my direction. Once he left Skywarp's side, my trine mate was gone in a flash. For the first time in a long time, I craved his company again.
Megatron looked at me, and I looked at him. And he looked at me. And I looked at him. And he looked at me. And I feared for my life.
"Starscream," he started, like he had so many times before, "I need to talk to you about the, um, sparkling, we were going to have."
I swallowed a lump in my throat. Where's TC? I need him back, now.
Megatron sighed, and sat on the edge of my berth. "I want you to know, I wanted that sparkling. And I, um, well I wanted it-" We both looked over as the doors slid open to reveal a blue seeker. I thanked Primus, whereas Megatron looked like he was cursing him.
Thundercracker, stay with me. It still fries me to talk, I told him.
He nodded and attempted to give me my energon. Unfortunately, I couldn't sit up and he couldn't give it to me while holding me up. Megatron looked confused, but quickly stood up and helped lift me up. This time wasn't as painful as the last, and I suspected Hook had been working on putting me back together.
Megatron continued to hold me up with but one servo, while Thundercracker put the cube to my lips and gently poured it. Certainly one of the most humiliating moments in my life, but worth it.
What's wrong? Megatron won't hurt you, Thundercracker told me back over the bond.
He wants to talk about, that thing, that was growing inside me. And I can't respond and tell him to shut up, like I can you.
Star, maybe you should just listen. Just, hear him out, okay?
I don't need to hear him out, I scowled, I just need him to shut up and forget about it. He already knows how I feel about him, he doesn't need to know anything further. And so help me Primus if you tell him... thinking it will help... because it won't...
"What are you two talking about?" Megatron butted in. He must have seen my facial expressions towards Thundercracker, and felt it his need to know.
Thundercracker looked, troubled, and I coughed a bit, to try to get him to say something.
Lie to him, you idiot! I yelled.
"Uh, we were discussing, private matters, my Lord," He sputtered out. Fragger.
"What kind of private matters? Don't bother lying, or I will get Soundwave in here, and if he tells me you are in the slightest..." He threatened. Fragger.
Thundercracker, just shut up, I warned, or I won't bring in a telepathic idiot, I will kill you.
But, Starscream, what's the worst Megatron could do?
EVERYTHING. Honestly, TC, where did the Academy find idiots like you?
I watched him contemplate his situation, clearly at a loss. I continued to scowl at him, Megatron doing the same.
"Things that happened to him in the past prevent him from wanting to talk about the sparkling," he finally said, facing Megatron. He spared a quick glance and shrug at me, and I was ready to deactivate him myself.
Megatron sighed. "He doesn't need to talk about it, but I do," he threw his crossed arms apart and turned around, looking like he just watched somebot die or something.
Thundercracker looked up, "my Lord, although Starscream is my trine leader and Air Commander, you are the complete ruler over the Decepticons. And even though Starscream commands me to stay here, to voice his opinions, what do you command?"
He turned back around and looked at him for a moment. He didn't appear violent, or happy, or angry, just, undecided.
"Thank you, Thundercracker. You and Skywarp have been helpful. But I think it's best if you leave," He said quietly.
Thundercracker, don't. I need you. Don't do this to me. Don't leave me here. Please, I begged. This couldn't be happening. But it was.
Thundercracker looked at me and sighed. "Starscream is pretty bad right now, not just physically, but emotionally. I doubt you know what happened to him-"
"I do." Both Thundercracker and I looked in shock as he cut him off, not sure whether he was lying or telling the truth.
"Well, regardless, this is a very touchy subject. Starscream is probably developing depression, whether he knows it or not," he said, glaring at me, "and we all need to take that into account."
Megatron looked like he was taking in the words completely, and agreeing with them. "I'll be careful," were his chosen parting words. TC nodded, walked over to me, and whispered "good luck" before running his servo down my wing and turning to exit the med-bay.
FRAGGER.
We both watched as the doors slid open, he walked out, and then slide closed again. Megatron turned his attention back to me.
"I know what you've gone through, Starscream. If you wish to know how, Soundwave spied on your trine mates to find out. Though I must say, I'm shocked you aren't really related."
What was he talking about? Of course we're related. We have the same creators. We're brothers.
"I know what your sire did, not in details like you obviously do, but I know enough to want to deactivate the fragger myself," he continued.
What?
"But that shouldn't be a reason we can't have a sparkling or sparklings. I'll protect them, if you don't want to. I'll make sure they're okay, and happy. All I'm asking is that you give it another chance, please. You won't have to do anything you don't want to after. I'll raise them on my own, if you want. I don't care. I just want them, but I want them with you." He ranted, waving his servos about like a madbot.
I could feel the liquids running off my optics and down on my face plates. "Starscream," I heard him whisper, coming back next to me and wiping the liquids away.
This wasn't happening. Either this wasn't Megatron, or he was just plotting some vicious scheme to deactivate me. Probably the later of the two.
"Don't kill me," I managed to forcibly choke out. It took everything I had, but the energon gave me the boost to say it. Megatron looked taken back, but I didn't buy it.
"Star, I won't kill you," he whispered, using the nickname only my trine used with me.
I cried more, still not believing it. Was he going to rape me again? Was I going to be forced to have a sparkling, just so he could kill it? Or worse, torture it, and beat it, and neglect it, and...
"You worthless piece of scrap! I'll kill you for this! After everything I did for you!" He screamed, being dragged along like a toy after the court adjourned.
I shook my helm, trying desperately to escape the nightmare forcing itself on me.
"I'm sorry!" I yelled back. I didn't want this, but it was my fault. I should have never listened to the officers. They ruined my life.
"You will be when I'm through with you, fragger! You're done! Hear me? Over!" He yelled, the doors finally slamming behind him. I dropped to my knees and cried. Hard.
No bot or sparkling alike deserved to go through everything I had.
Flashbang knelt down next to me. "It's okay, Starscream. We're going to take you to a place with tons of sparklings, many your age. It will be okay, you'll see."
"It will never be okay," I whispered in response. I meant it too. Nothing would ever be okay again.
