AN: I'm not going to lie this chapter hasn't been edited at all, I basically typed and posted. My computer has been a real pain lately and has made writing very difficult so I am taking advantage while I can. So I am really sorry of there are a lot of errors or misplaced thoughts, I didn't even get a chance to read it through. I just wanted to get you guys an update while I could. Thank you for reading I hope you enjoy. Please Review!

Beast Boy found himself struggling to try to help them; he didn't understand why Green Arrow was attacking, why would he do that? He tried to turn into a rhino to charge him, a bear to maul him, anything. He couldn't change, he saw Raven fall and he shouted through angry tears. He turned to White Raven.

"Why aren't we helping them? We can save them! They're going to die!" he shouted.

She looked at him with her head tipped to the side.

"You said you wanted him to die, now you want to save him?" her voice was steady; it held no emotion only a hint of curiosity.

He looked at her for a moment, considered her words.

"If we save them now maybe she won't end up the way she is."

White Raven shook her head and looked back at Speedy who was now curled up in a ball being repeatedly kicked by Green Arrow.

"These events have already happened. We cannot stop them, we cannot change them. I told you before, we are only observers."

Beast Boy watched as his old friend was beat by the man who raised him, he watched the pain spread across his face, heard the sound of his cries of pain. Then he heard the whispers, he felt the sadness that filled Speedy, felt the need to end the suffering. So much pain, so much suffering, he just wanted peace, just a moment to forget it all. Beast Boy's eyes caught a glint of light, something shiny near Speedy. He wanted to run to it, to take it. He knew, something promised him, that shiney thing would make it all disappear, all the pain, the sadness, the anger. He took a step towards it.

White Raven put a hand on his shoulder. It became clear to Beast Boy what was happening, he saw the needle for what it was, he saw the darkness that surrounded Speedy.

"What was that?" asked Beast Boy almost breathless from the experience.

"In order to understand, you must know the truth, not just in words, you must know it as Raven knew it. Through his emotion, through his suffering, through his pain."

Beast Boy looked at White Raven, and then back at Speedy, he remembered the almost corpse he and Starfire had found on the docks that day. Now he would feel all that he felt, know all his suffering. It was harder to hold on to his anger as he remembered the strong pull of the needle, the wish for peace. Then he remembered Raven, trapped inside the black cocoon, he remembered Tara. His anger flared.

"None of us have easy lives, but the rest of us deal with our own problems, we don't make everyone else suffer for it. Nothing you're going to show me here will make it ok."

"I'm not trying to make it ok, I'm trying to help you understand."

Beast Boy was suddenly aware of the conversation between Speedy and Raven, he was telling her about Green Arrow and Black Canary, about how they had found out about his drug use, about how Green Arrow had almost killed him. Beast Boy was shocked, he had been angry, had hated him, still did, but he couldn't believe that Green Arrow had actually hurt him, he was a father to him. He had always heard that they had broken their partnership because Speedy wanted to try new things and see new places, now he knew the truth; he kind of missed the lie.

"I don't want to lose you either. Take care of him Raven."

The voice echoed around him, he looked down at Speedy and Raven, they didn't react. It was his own voice; he turned back to White Raven.

"She could hear you all, she may not have been aware of it, but she could. Those were your words to them, you wished for both of them to return, you asked her to help him."

"I didn't mean at the expense of her." He replied quietly.

"The price, or the one who pays it, isn't your choice. I already told you she knew the price, she came here regardless. Do you think she would so casually waste her life, that she did not consider the worth?"

"She is worth a lot more than him."

"And who would be worthy? Whose life would be an acceptable exchange for Raven's?" she watched him closely her head again tilted to the side.

"No one, Raven's life is more valuable than anyone else's." Beast Boy replied with a growl. Turning to look back at Speedy and Raven who now sat close again a rock wall.

"I see." White Raven said, turning away from him. "And what about Tara, what if it had been she who called out to Raven."

Beast Boy turned quickly back to her, his heart sped up and his face flushed.

"The day she joined with Slade perhaps? Or the day she was cast in stone. If she had called out to Raven for help and Raven knew she could save her. Would you have told her not to go?"

Beast Boy stared at her angrily.

"Would you?" she asked again.

"That's not fair." He replied

"Answer the question."

Rage ran wild within him, he was angry she had brought Tara into this; angry she suggested that it could ever have happened, and mostly angry that he couldn't answer, he didn't know. He wanted to deny it, wanted to say that he would never have let her go, but he couldn't. He loved Tara with all his heart, if there had been a chance to save her, but Raven was his friend. It was too hard.

"Love can cause us all to consider things we normally wouldn't, make us see things in a light we could never see before, and sometimes it can show us the darkness within ourselves or make us blind to the darkness of the one we love." Her voice was soft and sad. She held out her hand and pointed back at Speedy and Raven.

Beast Boy followed her direction, he caught a brief glimpse of what looked like Raven kissing Speedy and then his mind was filled with memories of the dark haired woman he had seen in the windows before. Jade. Her name was Jade, he loved her, she loved him. They weren't supposed to fall in love, he was on assignment he was supposed to find evidence against her, capture her, and bring down her drug ring. But she was different than he had expected, she was beautiful and kind, funny. Cheshire, his heart broke, she was Cheshire. More memories flooded him, pain, suffering, longing. He went through the motions, tried to forget. He went back, he searched, and he found her. More memories. Happiness, sadness, disguises of all kinds. Pain, desperation. The memories slowed down, everything was sad, bitter, there was arguments and broken promises, and then there was an image. A black and grey image. His heart swelled, he would be a father. Happiness again. He had never known so much joy, so much hope. He had dreams, dreams of a small child, a house, a family and a normal life filled with happiness. Memories, an open door, empty closets and drawers, a note. His heart shattered, his hopes were torn apart, and his dreams were destroyed. He searched and searched and found nothing, darkness closed in on him. He had never known so much pain, never felt such emptiness.

Beast Boy regained his mind with a gasp. He was on his hands and knees, his eyes stung and his face was wet with tears. His lungs were on fire from the deep breaths he was taking and the screams of pain he could not control. His chest was heavy, his stomach tied in knots. He felt sick, he felt angry, he felt crushing sadness. There was so much, too much to bear. He didn't think he could survive anymore. He looked out at Speedy again, he sat broken and empty, Jade kneeled before him, she held his chin in her hand, her voice was soft and sweet. He missed her, he wanted to forget it all and go back to their happiness. It was all too much, she opened her palm to him. Beast Boy felt himself growing sicker; he felt the need to remove the pain the wish for peace, the guilt, the shame. He closed his eyes and hated himself.

"Please Raven, it's too much.. make it stop." Beast Boy begged.

"I am sorry, we must observe it all, you must understand all that happened." She whispered in his ear softly.

Beast Boy felt his body getting heavier, his chest felt tighter, his heart grew weaker and weaker, he knew his relief was inches away, a relief that was also his torture. He was so weak, but his pain was too much. He just wanted it to end.

"Daddy!"

Beast Boy's eyes shot open.

"Now the painful memories begin." Whispered White Raven.