I honestly thought that I wasn't going to have anything ready to post this week, but I finally managed to finish this chapter and hopefully it doesn't come across as rushed or seem like it was just thrown together. All characters belong to Janet. The mistakes are mine.

Chapter 11

I leaned across the console and kissed Ranger, forcing myself not to get lost in the feel of the firm lips pressed against my own. And believe me, that was no small feat. Ranger must have felt the same way, because when I went to move away from him his fingers tunneled through my hair, bringing me back to him for a follow up.

"You ready to face your parents?" Ranger asked, a few breath-stealing moments later while brushing a curl away from my face.

"Yeah. You don't mind if I go back to ogling you if my mother gets too annoying to listen to, do you?"

"I've never had a problem with you ogling me, Babe. You know that."

"Jeez," I told him."I wasn't doing it that much before."

"I thought you were going to avoid using denial tonight," he said to me.

"With my mother, yes. I didn't say anything about denying how freakin' sexy I thought you were."

"Were?"

"Yes. You're even hotter now. I don't know how you manage it, but it's true."

"I'm having similar thoughts about you, Steph."

"Just wait until I've worked out for a couple of weeks, you won't be able to resist me."

"I wouldn't want to."

"You know, now I'm thinking that this night has the potential to not completely suck," I said to him.

"Glad I could help."

We got out of the car and Ranger dropped an arm along my shoulders. Before his hand even had a chance to land on my shoulder, I was sliding my arm around his waist as we walked up the sidewalk to my parents' door.

Ranger opened the screen door for me and I walked ahead of him inside, almost mowing down my Grandma Mazur who'd been hurrying down the stairs, I'm assuming to beat my mother to the door.

"Stephanie, Ranger, you're finally here," Grandma said.

I picked up Ranger's arm and looked at the watch on his wrist."It's only quarter of six. We're early. I guess that explains why you guys weren't standing at the door when we drove up. I'm never early."

"I would have been down sooner, but I was trying to fasten this darn necklace. Who the heck decided to make those clasps so small anyway?"

"They have to be if you don't want them to be noticed," I told her."It's a pretty necklace, but you didn't have to get dressed up on our account."

"But we do appreciate all your efforts, Edna," Ranger said, pouring on the charm and making Grandma glow."You're looking beautiful this evening."

"Oh, stop," she said, blushing.

"If you think she's something now," I told Ranger,"you should see some pictures of Grandma when she was my age."

"I was a looker," Grandma Mazur said.

"You still are," I said to her.

And when she throws on her hot pink spandex shorts and matching lipstick, people do more than just look at her. They gasped, dropped their mouths open in shock, and averted their eyes quickly.

"Ranger, Stephanie," my mother said to us, finally coming out of the kitchen,"I'm happy that you both could join us."

"Like you gave us a choice?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

I decided on my way in here not to be so defensive tonight. When I made the mistake of handling our engagement news by myself, I was so worried about protecting Ranger that I lost an opportunity to set some guidelines with my mother. I wasn't stupid enough to do that again.

"I just thought that we all needed a chance to sit down and talk," she said.

"She's been in and out of that kitchen every five minutes checking on the food," Grandma said, ratting my mother out."She was afraid something would burn, the rice would be clumpy, or the potatoes wouldn't have enough salt on them."

It sounded like my mother was actually nervous about tonight. And that was something I could definitely use to my advantage.

"Mother," my mom said, trying to shush Grandma.

I was starting to feel like I was with Connie and Lula. Maybe that would be the way to handle these two in the future. Don't take them too seriously, and threaten the heck out of them if they got too personal.

"I'm sure what you've prepared for dinner will be exceptional," Ranger said to my mother.

"I tried," my mother told Ranger."Stephanie has mentioned that you're particular about what you eat."

Hmm, this is a toughy. She could be making an attempt at conversation or she could be going for an illegal shot below the belt. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt here. Only once, though.

"Ranger chooses to be as healthy as he can so he won't keel over from a heart attack," I told her."And I appreciate that. I want as much time with him as I can have."

"Same here, Babe."

"Aren't they something?" Grandma said, smiling at us.

"Where's Dad?" I asked, slipping my jacket off and taking Ranger's to put both of them away in the hall closet.

"Where do you think he is?" My mother asked, not really expecting an answer.

I gave one anyway."In front of the TV?"

"Yes. Frank!" She hollered towards the living room."Stephanie and Ranger are here! The least you can do is come say hello to them!"

"Don't start picking on Dad," I said to her."It's a small house, we were bound to find him."

"She's been driving us bonkers all day long," Grandma Mazur said to us.

"How come?" I asked.

Since it looked like we weren't leaving the entrance way any time soon, I leaned back against Ranger and got comfortable. I'm so used to it that I don't even realize I'm doing it anymore. Ranger's hand was at my hip a beat later. How touchy-feely we are with each other does seem strange now, considering we've spent years trying to keep some type of distance between us at all times.

"This is an important night," my mother said.

"It's just dinner," I told her.

"Yeah, and it'd be hard to top last night at Pino's."

"Don't start, Mother. I can't believe that you snuck out of the house again. I thought I was through checking beds at night when Stephanie moved out. Now I'm reliving her teenage years with my seventy two year old mother."

"What would you be doing if I wasn't here?" Grandma Mazur asked."Staring at the walls of this house until Frank came home? Having coffee and boring conversations with other Burg wives too much like yourself for anyone's liking? Ironing away everybody else's problems? I keep your life interesting. And you should be thanking me for it."

"You keep everyone's life interesting," I said.

"I'm gonna die someday, and I plan on living every second of my life until I do."

"You go, Grandma."

My mother sighed dramatically. No doubt seeing all the late nights, police visits, and phone calls she'll be suffering through until that happened. Which I prayed wouldn't be for a long, long time.

"Let's go sit down in the living room like civilized people," my mom said to us,"since your father isn't willing to move away from the television."

I thought my dad was smart. I'd rather be in front of the TV, too.

I took Ranger's hand in mine and we walked into the living room.

"Hi, Dad," I said, as he stood up from his chair.

Ranger and I must be getting VIP treatment tonight, because my father not only got up out of his chair to hug me and shake Ranger's hand, he also muted the TV. That hadn't happened since Valerie announced that she was pregnant.

"You brought reinforcements?" He asked, nodding to Ranger.

"Yep. I learned my lesson from last time," I told him, as I sat on the couch, tugging on Ranger's hand until he was sitting down next to me before letting go.

"Stephanie, don't say that," my mother said, taking the chair across from us."You'll give Ranger the wrong idea."

"Ranger already knows what dinner here is like," I said to her.

"Yeah, it's a nut house," Grandma said."It'll be quieter tonight, though. Valerie, Albert, and the girls are having dinner at his parents' house."

"I was wondering about that," I told her."I thought for sure they'd be here."

"I figured since Valerie and Albert were busy," my mother said to me,"it would be a nice night for the two of you to visit."

"Don't listen to that, Stephanie," Grandma Mazur said."As soon as she knew what day Valerie and the girls weren't going to be here, she got started on this ambush."

"For heaven's sake, I'm not ambushing anyone, Mother. Tonight just seemed like a good time to discuss your wedding without any distractions."

I was hoping this conversation was going to wait until after dinner, but maybe it's better this way. If my mother or I got mad enough, I wouldn't have to stay and eat the dinner she made. I'd miss dessert, though. Which reminds me ...

"What are we having for dessert?" I asked her.

"Chocolate cake. Why?" My mother asked.

Damn. I love chocolate cake. I guess she wasn't attempting a healthy dessert. That was probably a smart move to avoid a possible mutiny from my father and grandmother. But even huge vats of melted chocolate couldn't come close to the happy feelings I'll get by being completely in control of my life for once. This morning showed me that. If I felt I could confidently take on an armed assailant, my mother should be nothing in comparison. She should be, but a guy with a gun doesn't have knowledge of the first thirty years of my life to use as a weapon against me. And, to me, that's a much more painful one to use than a knife or a gun.

I glanced at Ranger. His eyes were steady when they met mine and he squeezed my leg reassuringly. He trusted me to deal with my mother. I blew out a breath. I could do this, and hopefully I could do it without offending anyone.

"Mom, Ranger and I haven't really talked about our wedding, but it's at the top of our to-do list."

"I timed this perfectly then," she said."We can start tonight."

"No, Mom. Ranger and I are going to do this ourselves. We just haven't had the time to figure out any details."

"Well, if you're busy it just makes sense for me to help out. You don't even have to ask."

"Helen," my dad said,"we already discussed this."

"Frank, weren't you listening? Stephanie just said that they haven't got time to plan anything. I'm only offering them assistance."

"No, you're not," I said, carefully."You're trying to find a way to take over. I only said that Ranger and I haven't seriously talked about it yet, but we will. And I'm not looking for help from anyone except Ranger. Both of us have already been through this before and we're not having any weddings after this one. And, because of that, we want our wedding to involve only us so it will turn out exactly how we want it to."

"All right," my mother said to me."You can just tell me what you would like and I'll work with you to get it."

"Mrs. Plum," Ranger said,"we appreciate you wanting to help, but Stephanie and I will make time to arrange everything."

"That's why I want to do it soon," I told them,"so I can't make the wedding more complicated than it needs to be."

"You underestimate yourself, Steph," Ranger told me, lacing our fingers together and resting them on his leg.

Ranger probably saw it as a gesture of support, but I saw it as a lifeline. Not just tonight. And not just for confrontations with my mother.

I noticed Grandma watching us, a knowing smile on her face when her eyes dropped to our hands. My mother being my mother didn't see anything beyond her own plans for us.

"How soon?" She asked.

"I'm looking at a month. Two at the most," I told her.

"Stephanie, it's not possible to accomplish anything in that amount of time. You remember how long it took to organize your wedding to Richard Orr?"

"Yeah, I do," I said."No matter how hard I try, I can't block it out."

"Can you please be serious," she said to me.

"I'm completely serious." I still can't believe I was stupid enough to marry Dickwad Orr.

She sighed again, and I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling at her frustration. I turned my head into Ranger's shoulder to give myself a second to control what my face really wanted to be doing.

"All I'm trying to say, is that it takes time to pull off something as big as a wedding," my mom said, trying again.

"And that's what I'm trying to tell you, I don't want something big. I went through hell letting you and Dickie's mother be in charge of everything, all for a marriage that didn't even last as long as the preparations took. Ranger had a quick, simple wedding and I had one with all the bells and whistles. I want us to have something nice in between the two."

"Then that's what we'll have, Steph," Ranger said to me.

"But you won't be able to do that," my mother told me,"without someone assisting you."

"Helen, leave it alone," my dad said."They are old enough to know what they want. They don't need you to decide anything for them."

"Whatever Stephanie wants," Ranger said to my parents, and I guess to me as well,"I'll find a way of making it happen."

I cut my eyes to him."You aren't getting out of this that easy," I warned him."It has to be okay with you, too."

"Steph, when have I ever not said what I was thinking?" He asked me.

"That depends," I said to him."Recently you've been very good at saying what you feel, but you had a crappy track record in the past."

His lips moved slightly in either an abbreviated small, or a barely suppressed grimace. Both would be fitting.

"Don't give him a hard time," Grandma said to me."He showed up here with you, that should cancel out a few of those times."

"Oh, it does," I assured both her and Ranger."After we get through the wedding, the slate will be wiped completely clean."

"Can we write up an agreement that states that?" Ranger asked me.

I let go of him long enough to playfully jab him in the ribs."Very funny."

"It sounds like a good idea to me," my dad said to us. He looked in my mother's general direction."I could have used one myself many times."

"Frank! What a thing to say," my mother said to him."You don't want to give Ranger and Stephanie a bad impression of marriage."

Considering I've seen firsthand how their marriage worked for the past thirty years, I already knew the wrong way to coexist. My parents spent most of their time apart. My father drives his cab during the day and spends a lot of his evenings playing cards with the guys from the lodge, and my mother is busy everyday with household chores, volunteer work at the church, and interfering in Burg functions. She's talked about going back to school, or doing something at St. Francis hospital, but when pressed, she always claims to be too busy to follow through with it. I didn't want that to be me. Like Grandma, I want to live as much as I can before I die, and have more accomplishments than regrets at the end of my life.

And I also didn't want mine and Ranger's marriage to be one like my parents have. There are parts of Ranger's job that I won't be included in, and the same can be said about my work not always involving Ranger, but I didn't want our lives to be so separate that we have nothing in common to discuss at the end of the day. Being able to talk to Ranger about anything was the cornerstone of our friendship at first, and now our relationship, and I wanted that to continue over the course of our marriage. And I think Ranger would agree, since he still seems to be amused by everything that comes out of my mouth. Ranger has always said that he wouldn't lie to me, and he never has, so I believe him when he says that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. And as long as we both keep up our end of things, I knew we'd be okay. I wouldn't feel complete without Ranger. And seeing as how he still fell in love with me - against his better judgement and when he considered me unavailable - I think we are on the same page there, too.

"Mom, Ranger and I were both married before," I told her."We know how difficult living together is with the wrong person."

Just ask Joe, I thought to myself. We fought every other day. And more times than not, we refused to speakto each other at all.

"Good thing Ranger's so relaxed," Grandma said to me,"because you were real cranky when I stayed with you."

Grandma's pancakes were good, but losing my bed and almost a week of sleep wasn't worth the extra calories. Grandma snores like a buzzsaw, or maybe the sound she makes is closer to two buzzsaws. Only Lula could compete with her when it came to loudness and duration. It was during that stay that Ranger went FTA and kept breaking into my apartment. One memory that never failed to wake up my nipples, and everything below them, was when Ranger ended up full length on top of me on my living room carpet. We'd been lying breast to chiseled chest and my doodah had been only a few layers of fabric away from Ranger's package. Things were just starting to heat up when Grandma came out of the bedroom, which made Ranger roll off of me. At that moment I had to force myself not to wrap my arms and legs around him and hold on tight. And that wouldn't have been good because it was during one of the on-again phases in mine and Joe's relationship. But ever since Ranger had let it be known that he was interested in me, it's been that hot every time we were near each other. It was almost like when he kissed me the first time, Ranger somehow claimed a part of me that no one but him would be able to turn on again. Joe was extremely good in bed, but even he couldn't completely block Ranger from my mind.

I looked up at Ranger and I knew he was thinking about the same middle of the night tackle. His eyes darkened and I swallowed, pulling my eyes away from him with obvious effort. It would be totally embarrassing to have a no-contact orgasm with my parents sitting right in front of me.

"I wasn't that bad," I told Grandma, when I was sure my voice wouldn't give away what I'd really been thinking about.

"Yeah, you were. Plus I couldn't get any sleep there. You had things going on at all hours of the night," she said."It was fun at first, but it got to be too much, even for me."

"What kind of things?" My dad asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Yeah, like there was a chance in hell that I was going to answer that question honestly?

"I told you guys about that," I said."I was babysitting Bob and Mooner kept showing up. Dougie, too."

"That stoner kid and his friend?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Where do you find these people?" My mother asked me.

"High school."

"That explains two of them," Grandma said,"but there are tons more. As soon as you get one whacko locked up, three more show up at your door."

"Job hazard," I told her.

I didn't want to discuss my job, which would only start my mother on another rant I didn't want to listen to, so I concentrated on finding a safe subject change. My mother's brain was apparently working faster than mine because she found her own topic of conversation, or another angle if you wanted to truthfully call it something.

"Will Julie be in the wedding?" She asked.

"I don't know," I told her. I turned towards Ranger."We should definitely pick a day when she'll be out of school."

"Rachel has already said that Julie can attend on whichever day we finally choose. Julie wants to be here, and she wasn't willing to take no for an answer."

That made me smile."Like father like daughter."

"You weren't kidding?" My mom asked."You really haven't picked a date yet?"

"Nope. We have a time frame, though."

"You can't be serious? It will be next to impossible to have a decent wedding on two months notice, and you still aren't even close to deciding on an actual day?"

"You're gonna pop a vein if you keep that up," Grandma said to her.

Yeah, and we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?

"Mrs. Plum ..." Ranger started to say.

"You don't have to be so formal, Ranger," my mother told him, her manners kicking in."The last time Stephanie brought you over for dinner, I said that it was all right to call me Helen. And I hope that you feel comfortable doing so now since we are practically family. You are marrying my daughter."

Good idea, Mom, I mentally said. Remind Ranger that you're part of the Plum package. That should help. Not.

"All right, Helen," he said with the patience of a saint,"whatever Stephanie chooses, I'll make sure that she has it."

"Ranger," I said to him,"I don't want this to turn into a big deal."

"It's your wedding," my mom told me."Of course it's going to be a 'big deal'."

"Exactly, it my wedding," I looked at Ranger again,"our wedding, and I want it to be relatively small. Okay, as small as it can be and still include all the guys. And that means no live music, no huge hideous bridesmaid dresses ..."

"You should rethink that," Grandma Mazur said."You could get back at Valerie for that eggplant thing she wanted you to wear."

Hmm, that dress was freakin' ugly.

I sighed. "No. I'm not using this for payback. Though now that I remember how terrified I'd been to wear that thing in public, Valerie does have something coming to her."

"Leave your sister alone," my mom told me.

"I am," I said."For now. I have too many other things going on to plot a proper revenge." Maybe I could ask Lester for some ideas.

Ranger smiled like he knew what I was thinking. He probably did. He was well aware of how bloodthirsty I can be.

"Getting back to the wedding ..." my mom said to me.

"There's nothing more to discuss," I told her."We don't have any solid plans yet, but I'll make sure you get an invitation when we have it all figured out."

"An invitation? That's it? That's all we're going to get?"

"Yep. Can we talk about something else now?"

"Yes," my dad said."Please."

My mother wasn't so accommodating.

"Okay, then, if you don't want to talk about the most important day of your life, would you like to discuss instead where you two are going to live?"

"Mostly at Rangeman," I told her,"but we are going to be looking for a house away from there."

"I can ask around to see what's for sale," my mom offered."Where are you going to start looking?"

"Miami," I said with a straight face.

Ranger nudged my knee with his. Either telling me that he thought that was a good one, or he was trying to keep me from antagonizing my mother too much.

I gave Ranger a little shrug. It's not my fault that she walked right into that. I couldn't pass up an opportunity to mess with her a little.

"You're thinking about moving?" She asked, sounding so upset at the thought that I felt a tiny bit guilty for teasing her."I thought you would be looking for a house in the area. I never dreamed that you'd be leaving Trenton. All of your family is here. Why would you want to leave your family?"

Why indeed? I asked myself. Before I joked about Miami, I'd already told her that we'd be living at Rangeman but, like always, my mother jumped all over the unimportant part of what I said. If I did want to leave Trenton, which I don't, it would have nothing at all to do with these types of freak-outs over everything I did, would it?

"No, Mom. We're not moving ... yet," I added under my breath.

"Why would you do that?" my mother asked, her hand against her chest."You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Why?" I asked."Valerie lives five minutes away, you'd just bug her instead of me."

"I most certainly do not bug you," she said."I take care of you."

"I hate to say this, but with you it's one in the same."

"Are you joking?" She asked."With you I can never tell if you're joking with me or not."

"This time I'm not, but I've grown used to you by now. I just want you to know that my wedding isn't up for debate. If I need an opinion, I'll ask. I'm not going to stress myself out like Valerie did trying to orchestrate the perfect day. If it gets to be too much to deal with, we'll just elope. Right, Ranger?" I asked him.

"Elvis is only a plane ride away," he said, a grin firmly in place.

"No," I said to him. I'm still going to hold out for an Elvis-free ceremony."There has to be at least one chapel in Vegas with no impersonators of any kind."

"We can find one, Babe. I know a few people who would be happy to help us out."

The same people who cleared up his issue with the state of Nevada probably.

"I know that's what I would do," Grandma said."You could get your ring, then play the slots, and stay in one of them luxury hotels for your honeymoon. If you need a witness, I'd be happy to go along. I'll even pay for my own room and everything. I got some money in the bank, and I wouldn't mind spending it there."

"Thanks, Grandma, but that would be a last resort."

"It could save you some money if you went that route," my dad added helpfully.

My father wasn't at all interested in weddings. His own, his daughters, or anyone else's, but he still put on a suit and showed up for every one of them.

"Frank, don't encourage her," my mother said to him."You can't honestly tell me that you wouldn't want to see your daughter get married."

"Sure I'd like to see her walk down the aisle, but you, Edna, and Valerie were driving everyone crazy when she decided to go through with marrying Kloughn, and I don't want to live through that again. I'm still not sure what the hell she was thinking, picking him out of every single man left in the Burg."

"Valerie was desperate at the time, and then she was pregnant," I told him."That had a lot to do with it."

Hormones and desperation will make anyone hard to live with. Again, just ask Joe.

"Still," my dad said,"if eloping will keep you from turning into them, then I say do it."

"It won't come to that," I said, looking straight at my mother,"unless things become too difficult and I stop enjoying the process."

Sure, it was a form of emotional blackmail, or was it extortion? Either way, I was marrying Ranger on our terms. And if my mother tried to take over, we'd call it off. I wanted our married life to start off without a huge wedding bill, no family animosity, or any stress between Ranger and I. I've seen a few episodes of Bridezillas, and I'd beg Ranger to shoot me before I turned into one.

By the pinched look on my mother's face, I knew she was taking me seriously. It wasn't an idle threat, and she understood that. She had no control anymore. If she pissed me off, she'd have to explain to everyone in the Burg why I'd run off to Vegas to get married without asking any of my family to be present. And I knew she'd rather pull out all of her own teeth with a pair of rusty pliers than do that.

Ranger slipped an arm around my shoulders and leaned in close."Well played, Babe," he whispered against my ear.

I settled more firmly into him and turned my head his way."Thank you. There is more than one way to take down an opponent," I said to him, referring to our training session this morning.

"You never stop surprising me."

"I don't intend to, either."

He kissed the curls at my temple as I smiled up at him.

It took my mother a few seconds, and a couple of deep breaths, to fully grasp what I was saying. When it seemed like it had finally sunk in, she didn't fight me. Really, she couldn't anyway. I hadn't left her any preferable choices. The only thing important to me was marrying Ranger. I'd like to do it surrounded by my family and friends, but a trip to Vegas wouldn't kill me. I didn't think we'd have to, though. Having a daughter elope would start a whole slew of rumors that my mother wouldn't want to have to explain away.

She proved me right when she focused her remaining energy into being the perfect hostess during dinner. She seemed subdued to me, but was still acting pleasant to Ranger, so I didn't push her anymore. I got her to listen to me, and got her hands off of my wedding, and that was enough for one night. Getting her to see that she'll have absolutely no say in any part of my life from now on would come later.

The food wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, either. My mother had a lot less practice than Ella at cooking Ranger-style food, so I could detect a little butter in the rice stuffing, and the potatoes were exactly how I liked them ... extra salty, but the meal in itself was still healthier than my mother's kitchen had probably seen since my dad's last doctor's appointment. The cake was how I liked it, too. Overly sweet and on a plate in front of me.

After my first bite of chocolate cake, I felt slightly bad about playing hardball with my mother, but that couldn't be helped. I knew that once she started giving her opinions, she wouldn't stop until I had a similar wedding to the one I had with Dickie and Valerie had with Steve. And I wasn't willing to risk my sanity just to keep her happy anymore.

When a bag was packed full of leftovers, since my dad wasn't going to be looking for them, and the kitchen was spotless again, Ranger and I said goodbye to my family with the promise to visit again soon. On our way back to Rangeman, Ranger brought up something that was mentioned earlier.

"Now that it's out there," he said, looking over at me when he stopped for a light,"a house in Miami isn't a bad idea."

"Ranger, I already told you that one house nearby is enough."

"Think about it, Babe. We could use it as a vacation home," Ranger said. His eyes were back on the road when the light turned green, but his mind was still on our conversation."And it would free up the seventh floor so whenever I need to send someone down there from the Trenton or Boston branch of Rangeman they can stay on seven instead of having to check for an available apartment on the fourth floor or wasting time looking for a hotel room in the area."

That did make a lot of sense. And Miami is warm most of the time. Escaping Trenton once in awhile did hold a lot of appeal, too, especially during a Jersey winter when the snow started flying.

"Okay, if you want a house there," I told him,"I have no problem following you to Miami." I'd pretty much follow Ranger anywhere. A warmer climate would just be like extra icing on an already delicious cake.