A/N: Okay, here it is … Thank you for not rebuking me too much for how I left you. Hope you enjoy this chapter! -- Teacup
Without further ado …
I See – Chapter 11
"Mac, …" Harm struggled for a second, deciding how to proceed. "Do you remember … that night, … here on this porch, … you asked me what I wanted?"
She nodded hesitantly.
He continued, "I told you I wanted a lot of things. And then you asked me … what it was that I wanted most. Do you remember my answer?"
She barely found her voice. "Never to lose me," she managed to say. "… I … told you that you never would."
Harm nodded. "I meant what I said that night, … but … I'm afraid it also might have been a little misleading."
Mac didn't know what he meant and looked at him with confusion and, if possible, even more apprehension.
"I mean, I interpreted what I want 'most' in the sense of … well, …" He swallowed hard and started again. "Based on all the things that I want, … I picked the one that I felt I couldn't live without. The one I thought was at least … semi-attainable at the time."
He still had his hand holding onto her arm, but he now released her.
"I didn't tell you what I wanted 'most,' in the sense of … what I ideally want." He looked away from her as he continued. "What it is that I … dream of … when I'm not concerning myself with reality and consequences."
Looking back at her, he gently said, "I think it's time you know some more of what's at the top of my wish list."
Harm took Mac's hands in his and was surprised to find that she was shaking. He looked into her eyes with determination.
"Ask me again, Mac."
"What?"
"Ask me the question again."
Mac realized that he wanted her to repeat the words she had asked him that night, long ago. She complied. "… What do you want?"
He took a deep breath. "In addition to never losing you, … never losing the friendship that we have, … I want … to have you, … to … to be with you … always. … I want to spend every moment I can with you."
He was starting with the safe things, the friendship ones. He moved it up a notch. "I want to … be able to hold you close … and kiss you."
Despite Mac's paralyzed state, she found her body reacting inside when he said he wanted to kiss her. God, how she wanted that to be true!
Harm was determined to keep going. This was about so much more than just being attracted to her. She had to understand the bigger picture that encompassed all of his needs and desires.
"I want you to … to be the mother of my children … like we planned." He was still being cautious with his admissions. With that one he was merely affirming a deal made between them as friends. But he was hoping she would see now that it was more than that to him.
He had worked his confidence up now to let her know what he had in mind. "I … I want to go to sleep with you in my arms every night and wake up next to you each morning. I want you to … share a life … with me."
Mac's heart was racing and her mind was reeling. She almost cried from the emotions he was stirring in her. What he was saying was wonderful. But it seemed too good to be true.
Her number one question was: why? Why would he want all that with her? She was having a hard time believing Harm, because all of that, … what he had said, … that was her dream too. He actually … wanted her? She was about to ask him why he was saying these things when something in his eyes distracted her.
She stared into his blue-green, shining orbs, the window to what he held inside, and what she saw there was truth, … vulnerability, … and … something else. She knew then that he wasn't misleading her. And he wasn't just taking pity on her.
With him baring himself to her, she found herself letting go of her own insecurities. Her defensive walls came crumbling down, and, somehow, it allowed her to see him in a new light.
She searched his eyes again and realized that … he loved her. That was the answer to why he was saying those things, … why he wanted those things. He loved her, and he was talking about wanting to be with her! She smiled a little at the realization, and once again internally gave in to her own feelings toward this man. Despite the massive amounts of frustration he caused her, there was no way she could deny being in love with Harmon Rabb, Jr.
Harm was anxiously awaiting her response. She had looked almost doubtful of him at first, and he could tell she was searching his eyes, seeking confirmation that he had spoken the truth. But then she smiled, and gave him that look that made his insides melt.
"You're doing it again," he softly observed.
"Doing what?"
"Looking at me like that. … I catch you doing that every once in awhile. Usually when things are good between us. … When you look at me that way ... what do you see?"
Mac knew this was her opportunity to come clean. She knew that Harm had gone out on a limb, saying what he just had to her, and it was her turn to honestly open up.
"I see … the man who captured my heart a long time ago." She looked away for a moment before quietly taking the final plunge, clearly making the ultimate admission. "You're right, Harm, … I love you, … I … I'm in love with you."
Their eyes locked, and Harm's gaze reassured Mac. Her heart was still pounding out of control, but somehow her breathing was becoming just a bit easier.
Words couldn't describe what Harm felt at that instant. She really loved him. She said it. His heart was soaring! But, for the most part, he managed to keep his cool outward demeanor.
"Ask me what I want most," he insisted, with excitement in his eyes.
She followed his instructions automatically, her brain otherwise on overload with emotion. "What do you want most?"
He gently placed his hand on her cheek. "Those words you just said about how you feel about me, … I want you to honestly be able to say them to me … always, … and … I want you to understand … exactly how I will always feel about you."
He slowly bent over, and hovered above her lips for a moment. His eyes asked her for permission, and she answered with a hopeful gaze. He then closed his eyes and placed a simple, love-filled kiss on her lips, hoping to communicate to her what he was still having trouble saying.
He began to back away, but she would not let him go. Her head followed his, refusing to break their connection. She put her hands on each side of his head and pulled him back down to her. He did not resist prolonging the experience.
And what an experience it was! For the first time in either of their lives, they gave of and took from each other as only those in true love can. They had kissed before, but this time there was nothing stopping them. There were no doubts as to the other's feelings, and if there had been, this kiss would have erased them into oblivion.
Needing air, Harm did manage to finally pull away, whispering the words that were a continuation of his kiss. "I love you, Sarah."
Her eyes glistened. She took a moment and then confirmed, albeit with some surprise, that she believed him. "You really do," she half-whispered.
Harm nodded his head slightly in agreement. "And you really love me," he added with almost as much surprise.
Mac simply smiled up at him.
Harm had his arms loosely around Mac's waist, and she rested her hands on his shoulders. He smiled tenderly, while breathing hard. "So where does that leave us?" he asked.
Remembering a past conversation, Mac declared a little mischievously, "At the end, I think."
"What?" Confusion shot through Harm. After all that, what was she saying? He couldn't believe it was anything bad. That kiss certainly didn't speak of the end of anything between them.
"The end," she repeated. "The end of hiding our feelings. The end of miscommunications between us. And, … I'm really hoping, … the end of a purely platonic friendship."
"Oh." He smiled with relief and joy. "… I have no objections to that … as long as it's also the beginning …"
"Of what?" she asked with anticipation.
"Of a new level of our relationship … One that's anything but purely platonic."
Harm leaned down and kissed Mac again. This time with no intention of letting up anytime soon. She responded with equal fervor, putting one hand at the base of his neck and the other on the back of his head, as she let him pull her body flush against him.
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TBC …
A/N: So, what did you think?
By the way, due to a time constraint on earlier postings, I ended up breaking this story into one more part than I had planned, so there are actually two chapters left.
