Author's Note: Ugh, I always end up starting my author's notes the same way, don't I? Sorry for the delay, I promise to be quicker next time, etc... well then, I think I can probably leave that out, as you all know what I'm gonna say anyway.
I am absolutely determined to get this story finished soon - when I have something that's just hanging like this, it's on my mind constantly, and that's just what I've been like with this. It really bugs me! So, in order to free myself of the worry, and also to free you all of such a long wait between each chapter, I am SO gonna get this finished ASAP. The summer holidays are also here for me, so hopefully, that means plenty of time to write.
I've had a lot going on at the moment. Since my last update, I've been on holiday, applied for two jobs (one as a manga artist and one as a sales assistant in a computer games store) and finished my final exams. Hoorah :)
Anyway, sorry for my rambling - please enjoy this next chapter, which is a continuation of the flashback started last time.
Warning: slight yaoi.
CHAPTER 11
Weakness
It began as soon as he entered the classroom.
Ren slumped down in to his chair, swinging his bag on to the desk.
"Good morning, Ren."
Sighing deeply, Ren looked up, knowing whom to expect.
And as he guessed, Hao was there, standing over his desk, hands resting on the surface, a cheerful but calculating smile on his face.
"Hm, perhaps." Ren said, nonchalantly, lifting the desk lid to sort through its contents.
With a simple push on the wood from Hao's palms, it snapped shut again. Ren looked up, scowling with annoyance.
"I wanted to talk to you," Hao continued with the same happy tone.
Locking eyes with the other shaman, Ren knew that Hao wouldn't leave just because he was told; and no one else was about to try and move him either, scared of his volatile temper. Sure enough, Ren noted that everyone else was keeping a sizeable distance from his desk, not even daring to look in his direction in case Hao saw and sparked off. The determined glint in Hao's eyes told Ren that he wasn't about to give up easily.
"This had better be worth my while." Ren said, matter-of-factly.
Hao smiled triumphantly. "I have a suggestion that might interest you… a place, I should say." Hao lifted up one of his hands to show a card that he now held. Placing it on the table, he slid it across the surface to Ren.
Ren caught hold of it, and, with another glance around at his classmates, lifted it up to read what it said. Black, with white writing, Ren noted subconsciously.
"You should come by some time. Tonight, perhaps?" Hao said – this was not a request; much more like a demand.
Ren scowled. Club Patch… something about this sounded shifty. "And why do you want me to go to this place?"
"You might have fun," Hao beamed, standing up straight. "Even you are capable of having a good time, Ren – believe me."
A bell sounded, cutting Hao short. The class began to take their seats.
"Let me know your answer later." Hao said, turning and walking back to his own desk.
Ren watched him go, a look of contempt on his face. He tried to tell himself that he would be out of here soon, out of Hao's poison presence. To pass the time, he thought of Horo. It wasn't a planned thought pattern – whenever Ren found his mind idly drifting like this, his thoughts always found the blue-haired Ainu.
Horo wasn't in any of his classes – but Hao was. Hao was in almost all of them, for that matter. And so Ren spent most of his days feigning introversion under Hao's uncomfortable, unceasing stare. Though Ren and Horo has successfully managed to keep their relationship a secret from both their friends and the rest of the school so far, Hao was not so secret about his apparent feelings towards the Chinese. Just from the way Hao acted around Ren, their classmates could see that there was something going on between the two of them – and just as equally, knew to keep clear of the situation, much rather than invoke Hao's wrath.
And so it was that Ren was normally the object of everyone's attention – be it Hao's; starry-eyed girls who followed him, love struck, like obedient sheep; or the classmates who were so intrigued by his relationship with Hao. This was why the handles on the clock always seemed as though they were ticking through treacle. Today was no different.
And when the time to leave finally did arrive, Ren was in for yet another surprise.
He was half-way out of the door, swinging his bag on to his shoulders as he walked in his haste to get out of there – when the door slammed shut in his face.
He looked around menacingly, to be greeted with Hao's cheerful face. Ren cursed as he heard a bolt click, realising Hao's plan. With a quick glance around the room it was confirmed: Hao wanted him in here, alone.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Hao asked, placing himself directly in Ren's line of sight. "You're forgetting something. You need to give me an answer."
Ren's eyes narrowed. "I have better things to do." He made to walk around the brunette, but Hao simply sidestepped back in Ren's way, blocking him from the door again.
"What, than stay here and talk to me, or to come to Club Patch tonight?" Hao put on an expression of mock insult.
"Both." Ren said, simply. He reached out to open the door, only to find his wrist ensnared by Hao's powerful grip. "Let go of me." Ren warned, his voice low and threatening.
"Not until you tell me that you are coming to see me tonight."
"There is no way in hell I'd choose to see you of my own free will." Ren stated. He hated the way Hao sounded – like a spoilt child whining for his own way.
With only a few seconds pause, Hao reacted, his whole demeanour switching almost instantly. Using brute force, Hao swung Ren around and threw him into the wall behind them. His grip still on Ren's wrist, he used it to ensnare him.
Ren tasted blood in his mouth as his face smacked directly against the wall. It was all he could do to stop himself yelling out in pain as Hao twisted his arm further and further up his back. In this current situation, Ren was helpless.
"Now, shall we try this again, Ren-chan?"
Ren shuddered as he felt a touch at his earlobe – Hao was gently stroking Ren's hair with his free hand. The nickname Hao used to address him made him feel even worse.
Hao leaned in a little more. Ren could feel his pressure upon his back, his lips right against his ear, his groin pressed right up against his buttock… he hated every touch, feel and experience of it.
"Are you going to come tonight?" Hao demanded, pushing Ren's arm a little for good measure.
Ren winced – the pain was shooting, as though his arm would break in an instant. "Kisama…" he cursed.
"Sorry, I couldn't hear you." Hao's tone was dangerous – so much more dangerous than Ren had ever heard it before. Ren knew that he would continue to do this until he got the answer he wanted. The pressure on Ren's back got heavier – Hao was now pushed squarely against him.
"Give me one good reason why I should…" Ren growled.
A few seconds passed. Then, in one swift motion, Hao span Ren back to face him. "I can you show you why."
Ren froze. The position he found himself in now was rather uncomfortable. Hao's face was less than an inch away from his own – their bodies even closer. Unwillingly, his cheeks flushed. Ren's golden orbs got one look at the carnal desire burning in Hao's eyes before powerful lips locked with his own. The hands pressing him to the wall began to wander, but retained all of their force. Ren felt the strong fingertips searing down his chest.
It was not just the fact that Ren couldn't fight against Hao's strength that subdued him – it was also the fact that somehow, he didn't want to. Hao's touch was rough, uncaring of any damage it did to the skin it affected… but yet, bizarrely full of passion. The tongues of the two battled fiercely in each other's mouths, curling around one another in starvation. Their pulses raced faster; they struggled for breath. Ren kissed back just as hungrily as he felt Hao's hands smother his body. This kiss, though binding, was not… gentle. Something told Ren that inside of him, that though his mind might be enjoying this, his heart was far from doing so. This wasn't the kiss he loved… it wasn't soft, full of pure love, like the kisses of…
Horo.
All at once, Ren's eyes shot open wide, and catching Hao in a moment of weakness, swung his knee into his stomach.
"Get the hell away from me!" Ren cried out breathlessly, his lips still glistening from the kiss.
Hao only recoiled for a moment, but Ren wasted no time. Just as Hao straightened up, Ren had wrestled free the lock that held the door closed and had taken off down the corridor. He ran, heart beating painfully against his ribs, out of the school building, not even looking back to see if Hao was following. He closed his eyes, pushing himself onward, body still tingling from the fiery experience…
"Hey, Ren. Where are you off to in such a hurry?"
Ren skidded to a halt. His eyes opened to be greeted with the face of his lover.
Without realising, Ren had traversed the stairs that led out of the building, and had reached the school gate where Horo always waited for him. And there he was, in all his innocence, greeting Ren with a smile, completely unaware of what had just come to pass in the classroom.
Ren didn't reply for a moment, just stared right into Horo's obsidian eyes, panting heavily.
"Where've you been anyway? You're kind of late out." Horo asked.
"Let's just keep walking. We need to leave here." Ren said, walking right past Horo and out of the gates.
Horo looked nonplussed. He simply followed Ren, asking no questions. His current ecstasy stopped him from realising that there was anything wrong with the Chinese.
As they walked, Horo noticed that Ren's pace was awkward, as though he wanted to break into a run, but kept restricting himself whenever he picked up speed. Horo thought nothing of it, his mind focused only on reaching the Onsen. All day his thoughts were occupied with only one thing, and now that one thing was less than an hour away. He smiled giddily to himself, his blissful mind seeing Ren's uneasy expression as a sign of anticipation.
This misunderstanding haunted them all the way back to their home, which they reached in complete silence. Following Horo through the entrance, Ren closed the door behind him heavily. Dropping his bag to the floor, he muttered, "That damn Hao…"
Horo turned around in the middle of the hallway, suddenly aware. "What's the matter, Ren? Has Hao been bothering you again?"
Ren closed his eyes, his guilt and shame burning up at once into anger. "That bastard should just learn to give up!" Ren cursed, dropping back and leaning against the door exhaustively. "He cornered me again!"
Horo looked nonplussed. He took a few steps closer to Ren and put his hands on his arms in an attempt to comfort him. "What did he do to you?"
"I was weak, and he… he tried to take advantage of me." Ren's cheeks reddened with the fury he felt towards himself and the whole sorry situation he had let himself get in to. "How pitiful must I look? I couldn't even fight the likes of him!"
"Ren…" Horo lifted his fingers to touch Ren's soft violet hair, curling it affectionately around his hands. He felt his own heart quicken at the prospect of being close to Ren, his anticipation for this night remembered. "You shouldn't let him get to you; you're worth twenty times what he is."
Ren felt Horo's lips touch his cheek, the hand on his arm lifting and placing itself instead upon his chest. "Horokeu…" he started.
Horo's want of holding Ren close rushed over him all at once, all the frustration of having to wait in anticipation an entire day for this night, and the Ainu placed passionate kisses on Ren's face, gradually dropping to his neck.
Ren tried to turn his head, straining his neck away from the touch. He felt Horo's hands wandering over the buttons on his shirt, carefully undoing them, slowly, one by one. He recoiled a little, putting his hands on Horo's shoulders and gently pushing him away – at the moment, this wasn't what he needed.
Horo, blinded by his passion, couldn't feel Ren's resistance. His kisses became deeper, his body even closer to Ren's now.
Ren tried to pry himself away from Horo's grasp, finding himself back in his terrifying moment with Hao. The only thing he could think of was stopping Horo. He wanted comfort, nothing else – as hard as it was for him to admit. He wanted only to talk to Horo about his experience today, to have Horo hold him close and tell him it was all going to be fine. Just to fall asleep in Horo's arms would have been enough to calm him and make him forget. Having suffered Hao's lust, all he seeked now was softness.
Horo pressed on, his lips catching those of Ren's. Pressing further, he hands danced across Ren's now bare chest.
Ren tried to move his lips away, shying away from Horo's searching tongue. It agitated him – this lust Horo was now displaying. It reminded him too much of Hao, the very emotion Hao was fuelled upon, so unlike Horo's true gentle nature. Currently, to Ren, lust was nothing more than an ugly disease that got into even the one he loved and changed him beyond recognition, albeit only temporarily. Did he really want to see Horo like this…?
He pressured Horo's shoulders further, fighting every touch. His agitation built up with every desperate, pleading kiss Horo battled to place upon his lips, greater and greater, until he reached what he felt was his breaking point. Through captured lips, he tried to cry out. "Why… why won't you listen to me?"
With these angry words, Horo's grasp loosened. Ren took advantage of the fact, pushing him backwards.
Horo stumbled away a few steps, shock written on his face, a kiss still smeared on his lips. "What's wrong, Ren…?
Ren shook his head, hands reaching for his brow in exasperation. "I don't want this. Not now." He turned his desperate eyes upon the Ainu. "Must you be so selfish?"
Horo reddened, the shock shifting to have shame replace it. "I'm sorry… I-I don't know what came over me…" he stammered.
Just seeing Horo's true innocent gaze and apologetic expression made Ren feel even angrier. Although these features meant everything to him, for that moment, he resented their purity. He simmered inside. "Just forget it," he seethed, turning around and opening the door.
Horo made no attempt to follow him as the door slammed closed.
Ren marched across the yard, buttoning up his shirt haphazardly, his attention fixed elsewhere.
Why must there be two extremes to everyone? Horo was so pure… so nauseatingly innocent and peaceful. Yet, when the moment overrode him, the lust took precedence and erased any impression of purity he possessed. Though he loved Horo – loved him more than he ever thought was possible for someone like the proud Tao Ren – something deep inside him resented the shift between the two extremes, two personalities, two demeanours. He dawdled over the fact that it wouldn't be so bad if Horo was not the way he was; if he was darker in personality, even only slightly, the transition would not be as noticeable, nor as disturbing.
As he stepped out into the street, fastening up the last button, his fingers caught the touch of something in his pocket. Keeping his pace, he took that something out and examined it in the waning light.
An image of Hao blurred his eyes for a moment, as his own thoughts echoed inside his head – 'darker in personality, bearable transition'…
He remembered Hao's invitation earlier that day – the invitation to this shady-sounding place. You might have fun, Ren…
A flash of Hao's burning eyes came to his mind – somehow gentle in all their desire. And his touch; somehow soothing in all his lust, a world away from Horo's… and Ren's longing for comfort and company flared brighter.
The piece of square plastic he held in his hand was the Club Patch card.
- Flashback end -
Author's Note: Do I need to tell you all that I don't like this chapter very much? No, I thought not.
I suppose this chapter can be considered seriouslyOOC on the most part for some characters, but I think you can see why they act why they do and so on if you follow their thought patterns. To me, being the author, I can see the pattern perfectly, and it seems believeable to me. The only problem is, I can't tell what readers of this are gonna think on this subject, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me know how it turned out. Could you follow (and more importantly, believe) what was happening?
Thanks a lot, everyone! Next update soon - it's back to Hao and Horo!
