Time to Heal – Part 11.
Part 11 is here! This chapter is a bit 'all over the place' so, I hope it's still enjoyable! Like with most of my work, I have tried to correct all mistakes, so if you find any, I'm sorry!
Reviews are loved and appreciated! Enjoy!
Disclaimer – I own nothing.
Mike had spent the morning with both of his daughters, both Katie and Amy were happy to spend time with him, and Mike was pleased that after such a long time away he could finally sit with them and talk. They didn't have too much to talk about, but since Christine had gone out to give them some time alone, the girls had opened up a little more about the things they'd had to do to survive.
"Who was here the other day, dad?" Katie asked as she started to braid her sister's hair.
"My XO, she came by to see how I was now you where here." Mike said with a smile. The conversation that followed Andrea's visit hadn't been pleasant. Christine had to sit there and watch the Red Flu take their little boy, he couldn't begin to imagine the pain that had caused her, so the conversation they'd had, the confession Christine had made, had been heart-breaking, but expected in Mike's eyes.
"Did her family survive?" Amy asked.
"No, her husband and daughter died, so it's been hard for her these last few weeks." Mike told them, wondering how much he should tell the about Andrea. If anything, she was a friend, of course their feelings seemed to go beyond that, but neither of them had spoken about it, so for now, they were friends, very good friends.
"I think she would like to meet you. Once you're both settled and we've gotten some sort of routine going." Mike said after a few moments, both Katie and Amy nodded, but didn't say much more. He left the conversation there, over the next hour commenting on various things, questions the girls had, some about him and Christine, other about what the future held, none of them Mike could really answer, but he did his best.
It just made him realise it could take a while for them to feel comfortable again.
"The girls said you were heading out?" Christine asked as she approached Mike in the kitchen.
"Yeah, CNO wants a meeting. We all need to discuss where we go from here." Christine laughed bitterly, shaking her head as she crossed her arms, Mike knew what that meant all too well.
"So, you're leaving again, even after the world fell apart and you finally get your girls back, you are actually heading to a meeting to get briefed on your next mission." Mike couldn't say anything, she had a point, but right now, the crew of the Nathan James, was the Military, there was no one else.
"I have to do this, Christine. I know you don't like it, I know you hate me for it, but this is what I have to do. I will explain everything to the girls when I know what's happening." Mike told her, grabbing his jacket from the back of the couch.
"I found an apartment, it's just outside of the naval base…" Mike and Christine had been speaking about her moving out for the last three days, Mike knew that it was over, and Christine's feelings had confirmed it. She'd broke down twice, telling him that she just couldn't look at him anymore. Despite her breakdowns Mike had promised to help her financially, as well as making sure she had round the clock protection. He'd spoken to Tom who said it wouldn't be too hard to sort out. Mike would have preferred her to be on the base, where she was safe, where the girls would be safe, but it was only a 5-minute drive and he knew that whoever was assigned to look out for them would do a decent job.
Mike knew that if it was anything else he would have tried, he would have fought to keep them together, but he wasn't there, and Christine was right, he would never understand the pain of watching their child die, that was the sole reason for this, and Mike couldn't see a way out. He couldn't see it working, but she was alive and as much as they'd 'fallen out of love' as Christine had put it, she was still the mother to his children and he wanted nothing but the best for her, and their two daughters. A part of him wondered if Lucas hadn't of died then maybe they could work it out, but he knew that now she was in too much pain, and on top of that, after all that had happened with Andrea, he didn't know if he could be in love with her, like he knew he should be.
"We should talk about it more tomorrow." Mike said simply, looking up at the clock.
"Sure…"
The meeting had confirmed that they'd all been thinking. They needed to redeploy, spread the cure, and stop any world war that the world couldn't take right now.
Andrea couldn't help but feel a sense of relief when Tom told them that they would be redeploying, a part of her was worried, but she tried to push that feeling away. She'd spent such a long time convincing herself that she needed to be on the Nathan James, that she didn't want to start another internal fight with herself.
She kept looking over at Mike, wondering if he would leave or not. He'd only just got his wife and daughters back. She assumed so, but then again, she assumed she would leave as well, but as minutes passed she wasn't so sure. Could she cope with going back out there? Would she and Mike have the same relationship when they left, or would she be alone at night wondering how she would make it through the next day?
Leaving the room, Mike caught up with her.
"How are you holding up?" He asked, both walking in sync. Andrea smiled a little, nodding.
"Just fine, the James needs a lot of work, so I am pretty busy. How are the girls?"
"Settling in well. It's been nice to spend time with them. Christine went out for a while, and they opened up a little more about what happened when they were out there." Andrea could understand that.
"Well, I doubt they'd want to talk about it in front of their mother." Andrea put in. Looking over at him she wondered what he was thinking, if he was debating if or not to leave, if he should stay with his girls and try to rebuild.
"Tom would understand if you turned this mission down." Andrea commented after a few moments of silence.
Mike shrugged, he knew Tom would understand, just like everyone else would if Tom decided to stay home to be with his kids, but Mike wasn't like that, he'd been in the loop since day one, he was in on so many secrets when they met Rachel Scott, in his mind he needed to finish what they started, and that meant getting the cure to everyone who was still fighting for their lives.
"I need to finish what we started. What about you? I know how hard it's been for you to come back, so, you must feel happy about leaving." Mike asked, he decided not to step around the question, they knew each other better than that.
"Someone's got to keep the engines running whilst you form tactical plans and shoot down choppers." Andrea shot back, her voice laced with sarcasm, but Mike could tell she was nervous, unsure, even.
The pair fell into comfortable silence, Mike following Andrea's lead as they headed back to dry dock. Mike knew he should have gone home, but he'd missed Andrea, he'd missed her company and how honest he could be around her. A part of him wanted to take her hand, something he fought against, he felt so conflicted, but not over Andrea or Christine, but if he should tell Andrea about Christine. He didn't want Andrea to feel like a second choice, he wanted her to know that he had feelings for her, not that she was the next on the list once Christine moved out.
Hours passed in silence, and short conversation. Mike had paperwork to do, and Andrea was back and forth between her office and the ship. She'd been working on various electrical systems, but daylight was fading and sailors were beginning to lose focus, so it seemed like sending them home would be the right thing to do. She needed the repairs to be done right, and sleep deprived sailors did not make the best electricians.
Mike watched as Andrea walked into her makeshift office, smiling as she sat down.
"I thought you would have gone home." Mike shook his head.
"I thought that we could talk?" Mike suggested closing the report he was reading. Admittedly he wanted to talk, he wanted to say how he was feeling and have some listen to him, Andrea was the only one he wanted to talk too.
"I'm listening." Andrea said with a smile, leaning back in her chair, giving Mike her full attention. She could see he needed to talk, she could tell there was something bothering, but she knew to wait, wait for him to come to her, to open up, and she was happy to do it.
"I like you, Andrea." He knew he wasn't good at this, but still, he wanted to say it, she needed to know.
"I know right now we are not in the best situation, but I can't stop thinking about you." Andrea took a deep breath, her cheeks going a light shade of red.
"Mike, I don't know what to say. Right now, you need to focus on your girls and fixing your relationship." Mike shook his head.
"Me and Christine have been over a long time, even before the Artic, and I honestly thought we could work it out, but she blames me for Lucas and that is something that can never be undone. I have my girls and I will work my ass off to make up for everything they've lost in the last year, but…" Mike couldn't finish his sentence, he didn't know what to say. All he wanted to do was tell Andrea how much he liked her, how much he loved her.
Andrea sat for a moment, trying to figure out what to say, if there was anything she could say. A part of her was still thinking about deployment, the other part was trying to work out how she felt in the moment, did she want Mike? Was she just the second choice?
Standing up from her desk, she moved around it, waiting for Mike to stand up as well.
"Andrea, I know we're both still grieving and trying to heal and that's before we begin to comprehend all that's happened, and I know it's going to be a while before we reach a new normal, but I'm not lying, I'm not trying to use you, I am being honest with you, Andrea. I like you, have done for a while, and I can't stop thinking about you, or our kiss…" Andrea stopped him.
"I was upset and overwhelmed, it shouldn't have happened, we were on the ship and we both know the rules." Andrea remembered how upset she'd been, with thoughts of Lily and how she was supposed to help Mike find his family, find happiness again, it was beginning to get to her.
"You should go home; your girls will be waiting for you." Andrea said, with a smile, although she didn't want him to leave.
"Andrea…" Andrea sighed, letting her hands drop to her sides from where they'd been folded across her chest.
"I like you, Mike. I do, that's partly why I kissed you, that's why I spent all of that time in your cabin spilling all of my feelings, but I am not at a place where I can do anything about that." Mike couldn't hide the hurt he felt.
"I just want to know that we're going to be there for each other." Andrea laughed a little and nodded.
"Of course, we are. I'm not denying anything, Mike, I'm just telling you I'm not ready." Mike nodded, reaching out to take her hands, leaning down to kiss her head.
Before he could leave, Andrea moved to kiss him properly.
Mike left without saying anything else, leaving Andrea stood in her office. For the first time in a long time she realised she was right.
It was him. He made it bearable. Mike made healing bearable.
Please let me know what you think, reviews are loved and appreciated! Bethany.
