(((( www . fanfiction s / 8813826 / 1 / The-Dollhouse )))) Here is the link to the Dollhouse, based on a request. Just take out the spaces and it should come up. If not let me know. Oh yes, and it edges closer to M material in the *ahem* way towards the end~ Should I change this story's rating to an M? Let me know your thoughts in your reviews.
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"F*** this, f*** that too, f*** these, f*** all these in particular," I sourly grumble as kick a stupid candy rock, smashing it into tiny pieces against a candy tree. My clock pleasantly ticks as I see the rock being smashed beyond repair but falls back into its depths of anger and fatigue in an instant.
Not.
Even.
A.
Single.
F***ing.
INDREDIENT!
While White is having all his f***ing s***s and giggles I'm stuck unable to find even one f***ing thing! I angrily stomp down the various paths glaring at any sweet creature daring enough to cross my path. I've already eaten three gummy bunnies after they stupidly came up to my boot. But after the third they finally got the message. Stay. Away. FROM ME!
"Hey, hey, did you hear about the idiot that can't do anything right?"
"Hm? No, why?"
"Because he died!" Some high, squeaky voices trill in an annoying laughter. The f*** is that? I hop over a jaw breaker spying a rainbow assortment of jumping jelly beans. I evilly grin and pull out the bag, hopping into the clearing.
"Come here you little f***ers." I growl, snatching one up as it leaps over my head. I open my hand to slide it in the bag but it immediately jumps out, hopping off tree trunks and jaw breakers alike. I watch as it hops along with the others wildly leaping back and forth.
"Ha ha! Too slow!"
"He's so slow! Like a snail!"
"And stupid like a brick!"
"Hey, hey guys, do you know why he's so slow?"
"No, why?"
"Because he eats so many sweets that he's gotten fat!" My eye twitches as they shrill with annoying laughter, jumping all around the clearing without a care in the world.
"Shut the f*** up and get in the bag!" I shout making a grab for one jumping off my shoulder but miss.
"Nah, he's not fat!"
"Huh?"
"He's just gotten soft, that's all!"
"Shut the hell up and hold still!" I roar, crushing one within my hand. The jumping beans immediately freeze and gasp, all attention on me as I hear a small click. Ha. Serves you right you annoying little candy. I slide it's remains into the bag but it jumps out again, hitting me right between the eyes.
"Ow!" I growl, holding my forehead as it jumps away into the laughing crowd of jumping beans.
"So stupid! Did ya think I would get squished so easily?" It madly laughs as I lunge forward, struggling to grab even one of them.
"So f***ing annoying!" I yell, spinning around and miss again, "get in the bag you pieces of s*** candy so I can go f*** my wife!"
"Oh~ well no wonder you're so soft! He's got a wifey at home." One trills, darting by my ear. I whip around and b**** slap the bean to the ground. I watch as it bounces off the boulders and right into my open bag. I squeeze the top of it feeling it's limpness within the pouch. It's stopped moving? So all I have to do is step on the little f***ers?
"Hey, hey fatty! Wanna know why people love to eat us up? Because we come in different flavors."
"Yeah, variety!"
"So no wonder your wife doesn't want to devour you. It's because you only come in one icky flavor! So unorigional!"
"Gross! Who wants the same thing night in and night out?"
"So boring!"
"How icky!"
"What a snooze!"
"Shut the f*** up you orange flavored piece of s***!" I growl, lunging forward and stomping my foot hard over a yellow bean. I quickly pick it up and toss it in the bag. This one is also limp. So I just need to hit them against something hard and then scoop them up.
"Hey, I bet you came here with your lover to spice things up maybe? Want us to show her the real pleasures of eye candy while you watch?" My sanity reaches its end as I whip around, kicking a single bean to the base of the tree.
"You're just pieces of s*** candy and don't even have a d***!" I spit, leaping up to snatch another one. I know I need a few dozen of these but I've hardly collected two!
"And you know what? We still have a bigger one then you do!" Their laughter grates on my nerves as I struggle to stomp the life out of the annoyances.
"Hey fat a**, come catch me!"
"What? You can't? Exercise much?"
"We're just fruity pieces of candy that can jump! You're a human with two legs!"
"Lame!"
"So lame! What a brick head!"
"Hold still-!"
A mind obliterating roar echoes through the forest as something large barrels right at us. I angrily clench my teeth and leap up onto a branch, watching the little beans scream and run for cover. Yeah, go ahead and run you pieces of s***. The beans all shriek in terror and gather in the middle of the field, banding together in one giant screaming pile. Is that some sort of defense mechanism? A large bloody white bear with long ears dives into the clearing in a hurried haste, whimpering. Those are whip marks on that thing. I'll bet that's the animal White took the babies from. Heh. Pathetic.
I perk up as the creature's massive claws land over the pile of beans before hopping deeper into the forest. My eye widens at my chance as I dive down to the petrified and stunned beans, scooping up handfuls and sliding them into the bag.
"Who's the stupid one now?"
"You didn't even catch us nitwit!"
"That BearBun did all the work and you just took credit!"
"Fraud!"
"Idiot!"
"Go die in a hole!"
I roll my eyes in annoyance and shovel them into the bag until it's bursting with easily hundreds of them. Better to have more than enough than not enough.
"Yeah ... but I still got you, you little pieces of s*** and you're all going to die." I'm going to enjoy watching them suffer and hear them scream.
"I hope it's at least in a creative way."
"How could it be? This guy's a numbskull! So dumb!"
"Stuuuuuuuupid~,"
"I hope I get to burn you all." I hiss before tying the bag shut. My head snaps up as I hear a babbling brook. I look over towards the sound scraping my sandpaper tongue up against the roof of my mouth. F*** this I'm thirsty.
"Giving up?" White cheekily hums, chuckling away like an idiot.
"Go f*** yourself."
"But I would need you here, counterpart." His trilling laugh strikes my last nerve as I take the mask off the belt and wrap it up in a burlap bag. Go choke yourself I honestly hop you piss all over yourself from laughing so hard. I tie the bag to my belt hopping over a mint bush. I kneel down by the bank of the chocolate bank dipping my hand into the water. Ugh, it's sour like lemon heads. Bleh! I glance towards the bottom of the deep pond spying a skeleton hand reaching up out of the sandy depths. My eye widens as I jump up, closely studying the caramel colored bones resting on the sandy bed.
"Gotcha." I grin, tossing my hat aside as I quickly undress. I remember the Looking Glass being a scarier place than this. It's grown soft since I've been here hunting down Forgotten. I toss aside my jacket and clothes tromping into the pond buck a**ed nude. Why the hell should I wear anything at all and get them wet? I'm only going for a quick dip to get those stupid bones.
I tread to the center of the pond before diving down. This liquid is so crystal clear I can open my eyes in it. Stings like a b**** but f*** that. I just want to finally be together with my wife for crying out loud! Swedish fish the size of my forearm scatter from the center of the pond and lay against the walls, carefully studying me as I dive to the bottom. The pond itself literally looks like a crater with no shoreline. My fingers curl around the caramel ribs breaking off as many as are willing to come off.
"F***!" I scream, letting out a lungful of air with the shout. My lips seal shut as I glare at my ankle spying a Swedish fish quickly taking off to join the larger crows of sugary fish. The hell was that? Did it just bite me?! My eyes widen as I notice their jaws, spying long sharp, needle like teeth projecting from their lower and jaws. Oh f***! These things bite!
I float up a ways, moving very slowly up. The swarm of flesh eating fish slowly follow me up to the surface. I slow my movements, edging towards the outer bank. Slowly now ... don't want to set them off. One of the smaller ones draws uncomfortably near, gapping it's teeth towards one body part in particular. My face pales as it twitches closer, opening it's jaws wide to reveal a second third of chompers jutting out of its mouth.
Oh s***!
I immediately burst through the surface and scramble up on the ledge feeling teeth sinking into my legs and even my inner thigh. I flip to my back and rip off the smaller ones by my calves and ankles before spying the one dangerously close to my manhood.
"Let go of that dips***!" I shout, wrapping my fingers around its soft belly. I squeeze as hard as I can watching it burst into jelly bits, throwing it's remains into the pond. In a split second the pond erupts into a flurry of struggles, each of the fish trying to get a bite of their own flesh. Go ahead and eat your own for all I care! I shakily exhale and grab around, making sure nothing was bitten off. F*** that was close ... that one nearly bit my balls clean off!
"Well, all the better for me really. Then I could be the counterpart to make love to my wife." White purrs as he draws from the forest. Three little demented bunnies squirm in his arms, huffing and squeaking as they turn their heads back and forth.
"The f*** are those things?"
"New performers for the circus." He clarifies, nuzzling his face into their soft fur. "I figured my wife would like to cuddle with them while they are cute."
"Our wife, s*** for brains." I grumble, touching the more delicate parts of my legs. Ow that hurt. White's cheek twitches into a smile as he sets the creatures down, letting them curl up into little balls of fluff against one another. I grumble as I wrestle my briefs on, about to put on my pants when White catches my hand.
"Let me see." He hums delightfully, drawing his hand over my calf to get a better look. I huff as I sit back down watching as he he twists my leg every which way taking a good look on the gash near the delicates. "You cut that very close Black."
"I know." I huff, laying on my back as I shakily exhale. That would have been a pain neither of us would be getting over any time soon. Even just my legs hurt like hell! Hell they have sharp teeth!
"Is this sour?" His voice asks, softly kneading my muscle as he takes a small whiff.
"Disgustingly so." I groan, trying to rub the stinging sensations out of my eyes. Why couldn't the water be sweet?!
"Here, let me help, my dear counterpart." White purrs as his hands slap my cheeks. My eye narrows at the rough behavior as he pulls me up to a sitting position. Masochistic freak. I squirm as his tongue draws over my eye lids, licking away the sour plaguing them. Well, it's better at least.
"Hm~ this sour tastes good." He purrs, pushing me down to my back. I stare at his face, bored as his tongue falls over the blood.
"To hell with you, freak." I huff. Whatever just get the stinging to stop!
"Hee hee~ you're surprisingly sensitive." White teases as I wince. His teeth harshly graze a few wounds, making both of us cringe in the pain. I really want to hit him but my other half would love it while I'm stuck with the painful end of the deal. F*** he's annoying!
"The hell shouldn't I be? The sour is making it sting," I growl as he smoothly laps up the raw openings clean.
"It won't be for long. A time change or two will be plenty for them." He purrs, finishing up my knee before eyeing the bigger gash.
"Oh my. It looks like one nearly swam away with your balls." He teases, smacking his lips against the wound. Geh, at least the sour is out of the wound. To hell if licking it is weird. As long as it feels better who the hell cares? I cringe as he bites, making the stinging worse before he gasps with pleasure.
"OW! Hey, f***tard! That hurts so piss off!" I hiss, hitting the top of his head. He laughs and sits up, pulling out some bandages.
"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. After all, the only thing I could think of was 'what if it was Jackie licking your wounds? What if it was Jackie trailing up so delicately with her little tongue, so close up the leg?" He purrs, running his hand smoothly up my inner thigh. A strong blush slaps across my face as the blood surge makes my body throb with hungry anticipation. Yeah ... that wouldn't be so bad, would it? We both jump as a small notepad drops between our faces.
My apologies for interrupting but we need to get going. Night will fall soon. Mock Turtle warns. His eyes fall down for a moment before widening with embarrassment. His cow ears immediately turn to a bright red as he turns away, shakily scribbling something else down. Please refrain from touching each other in such a manner while we are here.
"Oh? Does this turn you on, Mock Turtle?" White purrs as his fingers dig into my hair, forcing me to turn back around. His lips press against mine in an instant, making Mock Turtle's ears turn red with embarrassment. I roll my eyes in annoyance. Freaking virgin. This is basically smacking my lips together. The only difference is that I have two bodies to do it with. I reach up and snatch White's smiling face with one hand, tossing the stupid idiot aside as I get up.
"Lay off. I need to put clothes back on." I huff before slipping on my pants. "Here are the caramel bones you need." I say, tossing the ribs at Mock Turtle. He smoothly grabs them and slips them into the bag. He eyes me as I squeeze out my hair, glancing over the clothes.
You didn't go in the water did you? He trots down.
"Hm? How else was I going to get them?" I say watching his cow tail twitch. He smoothly glides over to the embankment and reaches into the water. I hope they bite your f***ing fingers off. His fingers dig into the side before smoothly pulling up a femur caramel bone. My eyes bug out as I see the results of his hunt, glaring into the water. Oh ... the walls are covered in the bones and such. The only thing covering it was a thin layer of chocolate.
"Why the f*** didn't you tell me that earlier?!" I spit, snatching his collar. He simply shrugs and slides the materials into a large bag.
You never asked.
"Enough, Black. Mock Turtle, tell us. What is next on the list?" White asks, interrupting us. Mock Turtle slaps my hands away before tearing out another list.
Toy Town. The Cathedral has a Rosery which we need.
"Excellent! Then to Toy Town it is~," White sings, picking up the little bunny bear creatures. Honestly where the f*** does he pick those things up from? Mock Turtle catches White's shoulder before showing him another scribbled out message.
We need to find cover first. Forgotten will be crawling around everywhere during Night.
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Uh oh~ I wonder what's going to happen in Toy Town? Well, 10 REVIEWS to find out~ And the ending part with White and Black, was that too much?
