Don't kill me!

I know I haven't updated in a few days. I spoil you all and then just disappear. Hopefully that won't happen again, but who knows!

Anyways...thanks again so so sooo much for your reviews! I love them. They make me smile. I promise I won't be long-winded this time. On with the chapter!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee or the characters, etc etc. If I did, there would be more Finn singing in the shower scenes. Because they're precious AND sexy.


CHAPTER 11: Purgatory

It was the second morning in a row that Rachel woke up in her own bed, deep in Finn's embrace. Only this morning, she had a massive migraine.

She groggily rubbed her eyes and let them adjust to the new brightness of the bedroom. She rolled over to look at the clock, noting the time. When she realized that it was almost noon, Rachel darted out of bed, covering herself with the sheet.

"Finn," she hissed, stumbling slightly around the room. Her balance was still uncoordinated from the night before.

When he didn't stir, she shook him slightly.

"Finn!"

He grunted slightly and remained lying on the bed with his eyes closed. Rachel could only guess that he was as hungover as she was.

"Finn it's 11:15, we have an hour to get to the hearing!"

Finn mumbled something under his breath, but she didn't catch what he said. Instead, Rachel raced into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She was appalled at what she saw.

Her hair was overly tousled and her cheeks were bright and pink—like they had permanently stained in a blush. Her lips were slightly swollen and just below her right ear was a small, dark spot. Rachel let a gasp escape her lips.

"Are you kidding me?" She whispered to herself. It was as if she had "SEX" written all over her.

Inside, her head was pounding like a jackhammer. Had she ever had that much to drink? She also wondered where things were going to go from here with Finn. What did it mean for them? Could one night erase months of unhappiness? She didn't even know where Finn stood. For all she knew, this was a one-night stand.

She shook her head to herself at that thought. No. She was more than that to him. She had to be.

But still, the divorce was his idea… and he made no mention of stopping it.

Rachel fought the urge to scream and started the shower instead. There was no way she'd be able to salvage her appearance without one. They were probably just going to have to be tardy to the mediation.

Rachel quickly dashed to the door to close it, still holding the sheet around her body. As she went to close it, Finn stopped it with his hand and pushed past her. Rachel looked at him incredulously.

"I heard the shower," he said and gave her a small, mischievous smile.

"Finn," Rachel said seriously. "We don't have time to play around right now. We're going to be late."

"So," Finn began, raising his eyebrows. "This is the perfect solution. We shower together, and we save time AND water." He winked at her.

Rachel rolled her eyes. Finn continued to stand in front of her and she took in how fantastic he looked, even in the morning, even with the worst hangover headache in the entire world. She ignored the small, nagging feeling in the back of her mind.

"Fine," she conceded. "But no funny business. We seriously have to go."

"That's fine," Finn said with a smile, following her. "We can do that later."

Rachel snorted and dropped the sheet as they climbed in.

. . .

The car ride started off quiet.

Finn assumed Rachel was processing her thoughts—she had that look on her face. He thought about flipping on the radio, but decided against it. He wanted to leave the opportunity open to talk. Leaving her to her thoughts, Finn indulged in his.

Last night had been more than he could have hoped for. Every throb of his brain against his skull from his hangover was worth it to be with her again…especially in that way.

But what did this mean for them?

Obviously nothing at the moment since he was behind the wheel, making his way towards the lawyers' office. There was a lot of ground they had to cover at the meeting today, since apparently they were on their way to going through with it. He was unsure of how everything would go down. How he would act. How Rachel would react. Finn desperately wanted to avoid it. He contemplated pulling into the nearest parking lot and turning around. All he wanted to do was go back to the house and just lay in bed with her all day. He wanted to just go back to normal.

But looking at the girl in the seat next to him, he realized that things between them were far from normal.

Rachel realized this too, and spoke for the first time since they left the house.

"Should we talk about this before we go into the hearing?" she asked.

"Talk about what?" Finn played dumb and let his eyes stay on the road instead of turning to look at her.

"Us."

Finn held his breath for a moment. Truthfully, he didn't really know what to say. He avoided this conversation this morning because he didn't know how to approach it, but she had him cornered now. He wanted to remain in their bubble; Finn didn't want to face their mistakes. But, he was the one who filed the papers after all. And despite their night of bliss, he knew that still meant something to Rachel, even though it no longer meant anything to him.

Finn exhaled before speaking.

"So, you think there still is an 'us'?" he asked.

"I didn't mean it like that," Rachel said. Finn felt his heart sink. Recognizing his deflation, Rachel continued on. "What I mean is, we're sort of in this…purgatory. Between reconciling and divorcing. We have to…"

Finn looked at her as she trailed off.

"We have to make a decision, Finn."

Finn ran his hand through his hair, sighing.

"I know."

They pulled into the parking lot and Finn put the car in park. As he cut the engine, he turned towards Rachel.

"I think we need more time," he began. "Time together. Time to sort everything out."

Rachel's eyes became glassy with tears. She smiled slightly and nodded at him. She leaned over and grabbed her purse.

"Come on then. Let's go inside."

. . .

Rachel wasn't sure what they were going to say to the lawyers when they got to their meeting, but she couldn't stop her heart from feeling like flying as they walked inside. She fought the urge to take Finn's hand as they walked, and instead clasped her own together. She wanted to get this over with as soon as possible so they could head back home. She wanted today to be the first day of their new lives, and they had a lot to work through before they could get to that point. Anything else, Rachel thought, was just a distraction.

When the divorce was first initiated, each of them had been assigned a lawyer. They had wanted it to go as smoothly as possible—and as quickly as possible. Now, Rachel was hoping, they could stall it for as long as possible. If not forever.

Last night had changed everything.

Rachel and Finn met up with each of their representatives and they were escorted into a conference room. Both of them passed on having private discussions before the meeting began. Rachel didn't want to waste any time.

They sat across from each other as each of their lawyers shuffled around paperwork.

"Okay," Finn's lawyer, Jack Dennings, began. "Let's get started. We're here today for the first mediation of Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry. We'll first discuss the assets of each party and how to divide up joint property."

"We actually—" Finn started wanting to stop anything before it started, but Mr. Dennings talked over him.

"Mr. Hudson, has previously stated that he wishes to provide no alimony and is not willing to split the property."

"Wait, what?" Rachel asked, surprised at what she heard. Mr. Dennings took this as a wish for him to clarify.

"It is at the request of my client that he pays Miss Berry nothing in financial grants for the divorce and that he remains in possession of the property aside from her personal belongings."

"We never discussed that," Ben Kilmer, Rachel's lawyer said. "This isn't an acceptable settlement."

"We actually were wondering if we could postpone further hearings…" Finn trailed. His eyes were panicked.

"No," Rachel said, her forehead creasing with emotion. Her entire body felt frozen in place and her blood was racing in her system. "Was that really your intention? To give me nothing?"

Rachel felt her entire body begin to shatter. This couldn't be true…

"What makes you and your client think that this will pass in a court?" Mr. Kilmer asked. Rachel stared at Finn.

"It is by a previous discussion between me and my client that Miss Berry would agree to this arrangement."

The words hit Rachel like a ten-ton truck.

What made him think that this would be okay and that she would agree? Was this his intention all along?

Rachel knew that she could easily survive on her own financially, but to her it wasn't about that. It was about the fact that it was Finn's wished to leave her with nothing. To completely sever her from his life completely, to no longer be responsible for her in any way. She was shocked that he would do this to her. The man that she just made love to merely hours before. It didn't make sense, but to Rachel, there was no explanation that would be able to rectify what he had done.

"Rachel…" Finn began dejectedly. He looked directly into her eyes, to which she narrowed hers in return. "I came up with that statement a long time ago…"

"Well," Mr. Kilmer interjected, still attempting to speak on Rachel's behalf. "I'm interested in hearing what the current settlement proposal is, since an updated one was due 48 hours ago."

"This was the one that was submitted in that time frame," Mr. Dennings stated.

Rachel felt a sheet of tears wanting to build up, but she was too blinded by sudden anger to let them go any farther.

"Excuse me?"

Before anyone else had a chance to speak, Rachel grabbed her things. She couldn't be here right now. Her head was still pounding, but this time it wasn't from her obvious hangover. Rachel was incredulous to the fact that Finn would do this to her, that he would be so deceitful. And two days ago, no less! She needed to think. She needed to leave.

"I'm…I'm sorry," Rachel stuttered. "Can we reschedule this for another time? I can't do this today."

Before waiting to hear a response, Rachel rushed out of the building. She was angry at herself for not staying to complete the meeting, to fight for what should rightfully be hers, but she couldn't do it. It was like she had been slapped in the face, and the sting of betrayal lingered strong. She needed to re-evaluate her thoughts.

Rachel ducked her head as she walked by the receptionist of the office, no longer able to avoid the tears that were pushing violently to come out. As she let the salty liquid flow from her eyes, she walked out of the building and towards the sidewalk. She didn't know how she was going to get back to the house, but she did know that she was going to do it on her own.

As her heels clicked on the cement as she walked, Rachel let the tears continue to fall down her face. Things had taken a turn so fast, and her head was spinning in an attempt to keep pace.

She couldn't believe herself. It was if she had patched up the hole in her soul so quickly, that she never made sure the seams were sewn completely shut. She was still coping with her loss, and she was angry with herself for losing sight of that. After all, it was what started their downward spiral in the first place. But her unborn child was something worth holding on to, and she couldn't believe that she had forgotten that in the last two days. And why was she surprised? Finn had been the one who had filed for the divorce in the first place. She should have known that his words were fabricated and his actions were just another ploy in his lies. She was furious that she succumbed to a fantasy of a happy-ever-after. She felt wounded and most of all, she felt humiliated.

Why was she always letting Finn affect her like this? While she wasn't claiming to be the victim, she didn't understand why Finn constantly crushed her. Rachel should have known better this time. It was always her that ended up being blind-sighted. She was tired of running away. She was tired of crying. She didn't want to hurt anymore.

Rachel resolved that this was the last time he'd do this to her.

Finn Hudson would never hurt her again, because she wouldn't let him be around her to do it.


Ahhhhh!

Don't kill me!

They'll find their way back to each other...they always do, don't they? I never promised I'd make this easy... :P Don't stop reading! Keep reviewing!

xoxo