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"Sometimes letting others be oblivious to the pain you feel is more of a kindness than letting others know how much pain you are actually in."

~Numinex

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It had been a few days of traveling and was quite a similar schedule every day, we would travel on foot for a long distance, stopping periodically to rest for the Hobbits were not used to such long distance traveling, having various meals as all hobbits loved food while still keeping the rations well thought out to ensure that we would not use too much food before we even get to the gap of Rohan.

Then after eating and regaining our breath we would set out again, unless night has fallen in which case we would rest and sleep while there were consistent shifts of guards. Today was one of those relaxed days, for we were resting at the moment on a rock formation while Sam cooked, Legolas guarded, Boromir and Estel taught Pippin and Merry how to fight while Gandalf, Gimli and Frodo smoked from their pipes.

I was sitting next to Sam shifting restlessly and letting out the occasional sigh, "Is there something wrong Mum?" He asked looking up at me and I shook my head before shrugging, "Well... yes and no. It's hard to explain." I looked back up at the sky before shifting positions again with another sigh as I tried to find another comfortable spot on the rock.

"I have noticed you have not eaten at all since we set out from Rivendell, perhaps you should go out hunting to ease your troubled mind." I looked up at the suggestion Gandalf gave and I smiled, "Perhaps, it would give me something to do as well as increase the amount we can eat each night." Boromir now looked over at me worriedly then at Gandalf, "Should we let her go alone? A woman on her own is sure to find trouble.."

I snorted at this and then stood, "Do not fret Boromir, I am not foolish enough to stay in my human form while hunting... perhaps I should go into my stalking form... it would make hunting even easier." Gandalf nodded with a smile and I nodded back, "No one shoot me or stab me, okay?" I dropped down onto all fours as my bones began clicking into place and white fur with black splotches grew on my body (Think of a Warg mixed with a snow Leopard but bigger with longer fur) as I gained a tail that was fluffier.

My face became more smooth with a less than prominent muzzle as my ears shifted to the top of my head and my eyes shape began changing as whiskers grew upon my face and my hands and feet turned into paws as I felt my spine arch and grow longer. When I opened my eyes again I was on level with the hobbits who were now looking at me surprised, Boromir's face was one of pure shock and a rumbling purr broke through my chest.

Gandalf looked around at their shocked faces with a wide smile on his lips, "What? Did you all really think she could only turn into the four forms you guys have seen? In truth she has about eight forms in total, a hunting form, which is her current one, a flight form, a travel form, a sea form, a hiding form, strength form, her true form, and her common form."

"Hey mum? What is your true form?" Pippin asked while lightly tugging one of my ears as Gandalf spoke, "She will be the one to tell you that, and even then she might not, not many people know her true form, but I guess, in a sense, you could say her human form is more of her true form than the one she was born with because she is in that form the majority of the time."

I stretched out and pippin sat down leaning against my stomach with his eyes closed, "You make a very comfortable pillow Mum." I gave a rumbling laugh at this before standing back up and heading off in the direction of what smelled like a few deer. I could hear my stomach growling in response to this as I let my limbs move more as I sped up, heading in the direction of the prey.

As I caught sight of the herd I focused on the hunt and only the hunt leaping at the unsuspecting deer and bringing down one before biting into another, as I brought down the deer I noticed that they were smaller in size and it would be better to take one of them with me back to the fellowship and eat one here seeing as I could not take them both.

As I made my way back to the fellowship I could hear the sound of Boromir still play fighting and Estel calling out advice to them as Legolas herald my arrive, "Lady Numinex is here!" this made the hobbits break concentration for a moment as Sam and Frodo rushed up to me and when I set down the deer I caught I heard Pippin cry out in pain and I was immediately bristling and snarling.

"Sorry!" Boromir called to Pippin and Merry tackled him to the ground while Pippin jumped on him yelling, "For the Shire!" I still felt a bit miffed at Boromir harming Pippin but let it slide seeing as they were having fun play-fighting him. Estel tried to break them up only to be dragged into it as well and I laughed shaking me head as I transformed back into my human form and leaped up to join Legolas who was looking out over the valley.

"There is a black cloud on the horizon." he said softly and Gimli waved his hand dismissively, "Just a wisp of a cloud." this made the fight between the hobbits and men break up, "It is moving fast... and against the wind..." I said softly and Legolas' eyes widened, "Crebain from Dunland! Hide!" Legolas immediately pulled me into a bush with him on top of me in a protective manor as the others found places to hide.

I could feel myself blushing at this and I tried to hide it from him but to no avail as he saw the faint redness on my cheeks and gave a smirk at it in spite of the situation as the crebain circled once around the camp and the blush got even worse at his smirk and I turned to look away from him as he chuckled softly, "Don't you dare laugh Legolas of the Woodland realm! I was there for your birth and I am your elder!"

I hissed at him (Note: Legolas is around 999 years old) and he smirked evilly, "Doesn't stop me~" I growled at him making him chuckle as the crebain flew off and we all emerged from our hiding place and my father frowned, "The path we are taking is being watched, we have only one choice now, to go over Caradhras and face the bitter cold."

I sighed and began packing things up, "Should we wish to reach the base of the mountain we should hasten our step and head toward it quickly, it seems Uncle's spies are everywhere." the hobbits immediately began packing up believing I know best and the others began grudgingly packing up as well as Gimli gave protest, "What about eatin'?"

I looked over my shoulder at the dwarf and narrowed my eyes thinking, "Eat it on the way. We can not afford to stop and we should now have more than one guard as we rest, split everyone up into twos and every night they will have their shift. Everyone to a hobbit and the remaining two are a group for their shift." Boromir was now looking pleasantly surprised.

"You are well versed in traveling my lady." I just shrugged and sighed, "I have traveled for more years than you have been alive Boromir, forty-two years in the shire has not affected that." I smiled at my four young charges who were already packed and ready to head out. The others were soon ready as we began traveling at a quick pace without stopping.

I walked behind the hobbits to make sure none fell behind and to encourage them to keep a steady pace and as we reached the base of the mountain there was still ample light, "I want to get over the mountain as soon as possible, we should continue up and stop to set up camp when night falls." The others were fine with this suggestion, albeit it gained a few grumbles of complaint from the hobbits but otherwise no dispute.

As we headed up the mountain side I was walking next to Estel and a shout of surprise drew my attention and I rushed forward immediately as I saw that Frodo had lost his footing and was tumbling down so I caught him and with the help of Estel brought him to his feet only for him to realize the ring was no longer around his neck and had fallen off during the fall.

Boromir came back and picked up the chain the ring was on and was muttering to himself making me lose my anger as I saw the greed in his eyes, "Boromir!" I hissed out in a loud and terrifying voice breaking his trance as he looked up stunned, "Give the ring, back to Frodo Boromir." he seemed a bit shocked and hurt by the coldness in my voice before hesitantly giving it to Frodo and then playing it off like it was nothing,

"It matters not." he ruffled my son's hair before walking on ahead, "Are you alright Frodo?" I asked now snapping back into motherly nature and Frodo shook his head looking up at me, "No, I think something's wrong with my ankle." I nodded and then sighed thinking, "You need to rest it, you most likely just hit it a bit hard when you slipped and it will be better tomorrow, here, I will turn into a bear and carry you up."

I got onto all fours as my body began changing and the others waited for me to finish my transformation before I lay upon the snow so Frodo could climb up onto my back. He held tightly onto the coarse fur of this form as Estel and I caught back up and the other hobbits looked up at Frodo jealously. I gave a rumbling growling laugh before laying down signaling the hobbits to jump back up my back with Frodo.

My bear form being my strength form made it easy to carry all four hobbits and as the sun began to set Gandalf found an alcove and then looked at me expectantly, I nodded and lay down so the hobbits could get off before turning into my human form and trudging through the snow before allowing the feeling of fire so seep through me and melt the surrounding snow so there was enough room for the others to sleep.

"Wow Mum! I didn't know you could do that with fire!" I smirked at Pippin who was watching excitedly before I sent the fire to the middle of the aria I cleared of snow as the others began crowding around it as the snow began to fall and the wind picked up. I turned into my bear form and began piling the snow that was in the surrounding aria to create a wall around the alcove.

"What are you doing?" Boromir asked curiously but Estel, who had gotten up to help answered because I was in bear form, "We are making a wall around our camping aria to keep some of the storm out and to stop the wind from getting the fire." Boromir got the idea and soon everyone but Gandalf and the hobbits, who were crouching around the fire, began to help making the wall of snow and a path out.

As the wall was completed one could hear the wind howling outside of our little alcove, at least, what I hopped was the wind. I transformed back into my human form and the hobbits crowded me for warmth. "Sing us a sing mum... or tell us a story of one of your adventures." I smiled and thought for a moment of a song that might put the hobbits to sleep.

"Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay
Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby,
Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay,
And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow,
Bless you with love for the road that you go~

May you sail fair to the far fields of fortune,
With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet,
And may you need never to banish misfortune,
May you find kindness in all that you meet~

May there always be angels to watch over you,
To guide you each step of the way,
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm,
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay~

May you bring love and may you bring happiness
Be loved in return to the end of your days
Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you
I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay

May there always be angels to watch over you
To guide you each step of the way
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay
Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay
Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay
Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay
Loo-li, lai-lay."

As the song finished the hobbits were all fast asleep, curled up at my sides, Frodo's head in my lap, and Estel breathed out softly as if he had been holding his breath, "Where did you first hear that song?" He asked looking shocked and I closed my eyes, "I heard it long ago while visiting Imladris." he still seemed stunned as the others began to fall asleep until only Boromir and I were awake.

Boromir was staring at me with unwavering eyes before he let out a soft breath, "Your voice reminds me of that of my mother..." I slightly inclined my head at the compliment, "I have been told that many a time, and as I have said before, I am the Sheppard to these lost lambs. All have lost a mother or father or even both in some way, so I have stepped in to lessen the blow of the pain and loneliness."

I ruffled Frodo's hair gently and he curled up even more, turning his head toward me in his sleep, "Why help them though? I don't see the point... there will always be death and it will happen eventually..." I looked up into Boromir's eyes with a sad smile on my lips, "Because I never had either to begin with. My true father died before I was born, gone mad from the influence of Sauron which lead to his demise... and... I never got to truly meet my mother she died before I even got to see her.

"I guess you could say that I don't want others to go through the same pain that I did... to experience the loneliness... Yes, Gandalf raised me and I found replacements for the parents I never got to meet... but it didn't make it hurt less to know I never got to meet my real parents... the first thing I remember from my life is Gandalf's face as he took me away from the body of my mother, who fell protecting me as her other children had been murdered by my father."

I looked away from his piercing gaze and shook my head with a dry, pain-filled laugh, "I-it's funny... you know... I don't even remember what she looked like... I have no memory of her... all I know about her is what Gandalf has told me... what I would give... to meet her just once... to know that she did not regret her decision to die defending me. But I will never get that... for I am immortal and unless I am killed... I will never get to meet her."

I blinked the tears forming in my eyes away fiercely, banishing them and forbidding myself to shed a tear. I sighed and wiped at my eyes to catch any stray tear that may have fallen before waving my hand dismissively, "Forgive me Boromir, I did not intend to say all that I have, but melancholy is an easy trap for my kind to fall into. I do not mean to bore you with my whining and selfish desires."

I took a deep steadying breath as I closed my eyes, running my fingers through Frodo's hair, something that always helped him sleep when he was younger and still keeps him calm now. I did not sleep all night, nor did I wake any of the others for I decided to keep the watch and I did not wish to disturb anyone's rest or any dreams they may be having and all night I hummed the song I had sang to them, setting a calm atmosphere.

As the sun broke over the horizon I gently awoke the hobbits who all yawned as they got up before I went off to wake the others, Legolas was asleep with his back against the wall of the mountain, Gimli was curled up near me as if the warmth from my body had drawn him in while he was sleeping, Estel was resting with his hood over his eyes, Gandalf was looking up at the sky being asleep with his eyes open and Boromir was asleep away from the others on his own.

I woke Legolas first and his eyes instantly snapped open before he smirked, "I always enjoy waking to the face of a fair maiden." I chuckled softly before waking Estel and Gimli. Estel woke without complaint and it took a bit of arguing to get Gimli up, who soon grumbled about being interrupted in a dream full of strong drink and good food.

As I made my way toward Boromir I could see he was deep in sleep, as if he had not slept in years and I felt a bit bad about waking him, but we had to get over the mountain soon so I gently shook him awake, "Come Boromir, it is time for you to awaken, we have duties to attend to." He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at me in a haze, reaching up to touch my face gently.

"Then was it not a dream? Is it true? Are we with one another in Gondor?" He asked to himself and I smiled knowing he must have still been half asleep and mistaking me for another, "Boromir, you must wake, we have long to go." he slowly sat up at this and looked around as if confused, "We are..." "On Caradhras, attempting to cross."

A frown was set on Boromir's lips and I rested my hand upon his shoulder, "I apologize to have woken you from what apparently was a wonderful dream, but we must be off soon." With that I stood and walked to Legolas who seemed to know that my mind was troubled and pulled me into a hug to comfort me even though others of the elven kind were not present.

"What troubles your mind my friend?" he asked with a frown on his lips and I smiled sadly before shaking it off, "It's nothing Legolas, just the past has caught up to my mind, I shall not let it affect me longer." Legolas looked at me, doubting my words but let it go. "Come on, we should get going." He nodded at this and I walked to Frodo and the other hobbits.

"Ernil, how are you feeling?" He put weight on his leg and smiled up at me, "Better, I can walk on it." I nodded and then we continued our trek up the perilous mountain. The storms picked up and whipped at our cloaks as it became darker and more fierce of a storm. Legolas was scouting ahead as he could walk upon the snow without sinking into it.

"There is a fell voice in the air!" He called out to us and I could hear it thundering around us, "It's Saruman!" I cried out and Gandalf stepped forward yelling out the saying to calm the storms Saruman was creating but I heard the rocks crack over head and called out a warning, "Look out!" I could see two shapes close to the edge unable to get back in time and everything seemed to slow down.

I could feel myself throwing them back with a large amount of force but the force it took to bring the two away from the edge drove me toward it and I felt the snow crash down on me as the deafening sound filled my ears as it swept me off of the cliff and the sense of falling filled me, fear flashing through my mind briefly as I was swept away in the snow and into the darkness.

~~~3rd person P.O.V.~~~

The rumbling of the snow filled the ears of the Fellowship and the two who had been forced back from the edge of the cliff briefly met the eyes of their savior that were a steel colored and almost hidden by her ebony hair as she was swept away in the snow. They all furiously dug themselves out of the snow that had covered them but a cry rose above the sound of the wind.

"We must go back! It is to dangerous! The hobbits will never make it!" It was that of Boromir who was clinging to his two charges that he carried as the Dwarven lord Gimli spoke up, "If we cannot go over the mountain, let us go under! To the mines of Moria!" and the old Istari they were yelling at turned to look over at the oldest of the hobbits, "Let the ring bearer decide."

Frodo glanced to his companions, not realizing that one was missing, "Let us go to Moria!" as they set back to a lower part of the mountains was when they realized a companion was missing. "Where is Lady Numinex?" Boromir asked glancing around only for the eyes of Gimli to widen, "I thought she got back before the snow-" He cut off and his eyes became even wider, now with worry for their missing comrade.

"She Pulled me back! The elf and I! So we wouldn't fall over the edge! I saw her eyes just before the snow covered us... she must have... gone over the edge..." he trailed off and Gandalf bowed his head now and Boromir yelled out in anger and anguish at the elf and dwarf, "Damn it! I knew her protective nature would be her ruin! She saved you two and sacrificed herself!"

The fellowship now carry heavy hearts with them. The hobbits, now realizing they no longer had a mother, broke down into tears, their sobs echoing on the wide expanse. Tears fell from the elf's eyes, staining paths down his Ivory colored cheeks as he listened to the normally cheerful hobbits sob and wail for their mother who had sacrificed herself for him and Gimli.

Frodo, the oldest of the four hobbits who had come on this quest, now sat alone and away from the others, his eyes closed tightly as there were fresh tears falling down his cheeks as he lifted a dragon whistle to his lips and began to play,

The song he played was the full song that the sparse notes Aragorn heard the day the ring wraiths attacked belonged to. It was a haunting sound that filled the air and echoed in the mountain tops, such a song seemed to bring silence over everything, including the sobbing of the other three hobbits as it carried out to the lost companion of the Fellowship.

As the song ended Frodo looked around in hope of seeing the ebony hair of the woman who raised him to crest the hill they just came over but no such thing happened. All of their hopes were dashed as the others of the Fellowship pulled the hobbits to their feet, trying to encourage them to begin moving again, a very long process seeing as the Hobbits fought them every step of the way.

As they finally began to set off again, a voice on the wind called to them, "You all had better not be leaving without me!" The voice was that of a woman the the hobbits immediately turned and rushed toward the woman it belonged to, she looked like she had been through hell and back, her hair tangled, she was soaked to the bone, her eyes tired and her smile one of joy and exhaustion.

The hobbits reached the woman and fresh tears sprung to their eyes as they sobbed in joy now, not sadness. The others of the fellowship now cried in relief and rushed toward the woman who looked dead on her feet. All held back their questions and wondering as the woman almost collapsed from exhaustion and joy filled the hearts of the men as now the Fellowship was complete once more.