With a lot of power, I scooped out my first shovelful of dried dirt. It crumbled like sand when I threw it into my new-starting pile. The tip scrapped the ground because I was so weak. It had only been 2 weeks. My hands were beginning to callus. But, my muscles still ached in every dimension. I couldn't relax in that steaming sun. I would've wanted that in winter back at home but this heat? Never. The calloused, fiery sun bared down with absolutely no mercy. I wiped a bead of sweat away and continued.
"What day is it?" Armpit asked, heaving.
"Friday," ZigZag replied. Oddly enough, ZigZag always knew the time and day of the week. Every guy groaned. Friday was the day Mom dragged us into a stupid sharing circle. I had no idea why he did that. Mom could've just left us alone to stay depressed and go one with our lives. But, sadly, no. He had to get involved. I lugged myself out of my huge hole. I was still the slowest digger.
Stanley and Zero had gone back to the camp while I was out there all alone in the warm sun. I walked back slowly. Then, a tear rolled down my cheek. I was crying and not realizing it. I was scared. I also regretted disguising myself as a boy. When the tent, whatever their letter was, found out, they'd hate me. I wouldn't be accepted anymore.
Stanley had said, "Getting a nickname is practically receiving acceptance from others." I didn't want that to go away. I didn't want...Big dude...wait what was it? I glanced down at my arm. Little man? Who in the world wants to be called that? Anyway, I didn't want Little Man to go away. The tears kept streaking down my cheeks. Once that hat was gone, my bricks would fall. I would be exposed once again. That could never happen. They had to know me as Simon or Little Man or whatever they wished, just not Scarlet Angel Weathers.
The circle consisted of D-Tent and Mom. He was already beginning the lecture when I walked in. My bones ached, and my fingers bled.
"Slow digger, huh, Simon?" I was about to nod when X-Ray shot Mom a glare.
"Yo, that ain't Simon. That's Lil Man." I almost scoffed at his words. He had to bring up my nickname. I grimaced and sat in an empty chair next to Squid.
"Sorry, Lil Man." Mom said with so much disgust. I brushed it away, and he continued his talk.
"So, Lil Man, since you came, how about you tell us how you got here." I swallowed hard.
"I-I robbed a couple houses and hijacked a car." That was all I came up with. Squid slapped on a confused look. "You told us you murdered a chick." What? I never said that! I shook my head.
"No, I didn't. I'm not stupid." ZigZag glared at me.
"Maybe you are if you can't remember a simple thing like that." He called me stupid. Yes, I needed to be stronger. Crying over people, especially boys, was not my thing. I didn't even cry at funerals. A guy like Zig was not going to change that.
"Whatever, man." It was my memory acting up. I couldn't tell what I said or did. I wasn't even sure how I actually got in. I didn't write that crap down. Or...did I? My mind pulsed rapidly at the anger and frustration running through my head. I was so alone.
I'd forget my left and rights, letters and numbers. I once forgot how to subtract and spell on my final testing days in 3rd grade. It was so embarrassing. Mom held me back a month in school to get me caught up with all the things I forgot. Most of them were important. At that time, I didn't find the loophole to my memory loss. Like it would've mattered anyway. My frustration came out as pain and a throbbing sensation.
"Crap," I muttered and Mom glared.
I just wanted them away from me. They made it worse. I squeezed my eyes together and made a face of pain. My head hurt so much. "Can I be excused, please?" I whimpered, trying not to sound girly. Mom nodded, and I burst from the room. Jesus, it hurt. I grimaced and stumbled into tent. I needed sleep. Some kind of escape from reality. I sat on the bed and cried. The weak tears rolled down my cheeks and into the crevices of my neck. Make it go away. The tent flap opened, and I furiously wiped my evidence of sadness away. Though it was only Zigzag.
"What d'you want?" I spat angrily.
"Calm down, Lil Man." My muscles weakened along with my mood.
"What's wrong with you? You act like I do." Yeah, Sherlock, because we're both insane. Why else would I run away like a madman?! I suddenly had the urge to tell him everything. It was the same urge I received everyday, but stronger. No. NO. There was no way a few tears were ruining my entire life. I ignored his words and attempts to ask what was wrong.
"I don't want to talk about it, Zig. Just beat it." He stared at me for a moment and left the tent. I continued to cry and soon drifted away like I always wanted to.
