His eyes bored into mine.
"Well?"
"Well what?" I asked, defiant.
"What the hell were you thinking?"
"Didn't you see the camera feed?" I snapped. "I didn't go looking for a Deathclaw to fight in hand to hand combat, it found me! Do you think I have some kind of a death wish?"
I could have slapped myself for saying those words out loud.
The look MacCready gave me made it clear he wanted to take a shot at me as well. "I don't know, you tell me. You're the one who chose to come to Nuka-World alone with no backup plan. You want to tell me that's not a death wish?"
I couldn't, so I chose to say nothing at all.
He poked his finger in my face. "You owe me an explanation Athena, and not some bs sob story either, but the truth. What happened to you at the Institute? Where's your son?"
Hancock pushed his way between us."Well shit MacCready, give the boss a break will ya? She almost got eaten by a Deathclaw, give her a moment to breathe. It's a damn miracle she's even alive to have this conversation."
"Thanks to me."
"I'll be damned, that was you who saved her ass? And here I thought it fell down dead on its own free will." A weak laugh escaped me, and I was rewarded with one of his most charming smiles. I thanked God for sending me a friend like Hancock. I didn't think anyone else could have made me laugh while in the middle of this shitstorm.
I allowed him to pull me past a scowling MacCready, and settled my aching body into the nearest chair.
"I could really use some water right now."
"Allow me." Hancock slipped me a bottle, and I took a drink without a thought. I almost choked as the vodka burned my throat on the way down.
"The hell Hancock?" I sputtered.
"Never was one for water." He said thoughtfully. "Always more of a vodka man."
"A warning would have been nice. Remember what happened the last time you gave me vodka?"
He smiled serenely. "Yeah, that was one helluvah good time."
I could feel MacCready's eyes on me, and I forced myself to take another (smaller) drink before turning my head to face him.
He crossed his arms."Tell me what happened in the Institute."
I took one more (larger) drink until the bottle was empty.
"Got any more of this stuff?" I asked, eyes watering.
"I think you've had enough for now." MacCready moved to grab the bottle from me, but I pulled it back.
"If you want me to tell you this story, then I'm going to need to be a lot more drunk."
Hancock obliged by pulling a bottle of whiskey out of this bag.
It was gone in five seconds flat.
"Shit." Hancock said admiringly.
I felt more than saw MacCready shift beside me, barely holding back his poorly concealed anger. But he at least had the courtesy not to push me any further.
For the moment.
I could feel the hard liquor bringing strength to my exhausted mind and heart. "So, you want the whole story? I'll give you the whole story."
And I did, starting from the moment I made it into the Institute to the moment I left. I glossed over my reasons for coming to Nuka-World, hoping that they would be more interested in what I learned at the Institute to ask.
When I finished, the only sound I could hear was the faint whirring of the generator. My brain was buzzing, probably from all the hard liquor, but I felt better than I had in months. In fact, I almost felt at peace. Maybe the reason I hadn't had the guts to kill myself all this time was because I needed to talk about it with someone before I did, just so that someone else would know and understand why I was doing it.
I felt myself smile, the first real smile I'd allowed myself in over half a year.
"Gee boss, I'm real sorry. That's some tough shit to deal with alone."
"It is what it is."
"You should have come back." MacCready said finally.
"Yeah, the Railroad's been making good progress with your intel, making plans to blow that place sky high in a hail of fire."
"I'm glad to hear that."
A heavy sigh broke the growing silence.
"Hancock, would you give me and the boss a second or two alone? Please?"
My eyes darted up, but MacCready was frowning at the floor.
"Yeah, yeah, sure thing. You okay boss?"
"Yeah, sure."
He gave my limp arm a squeeze before pulling out a pack of cigarettes and strolling outside. The sound of the door closing behind him jarred my nerves, and I suddenly wished I'd asked him for more liquor.
"I'm sorry about your son."
"So am I."
He lifted his hat and ran his hand roughly through his hair. "I understand why you ran, but why the hell did you run here?"
This was the part I'd been dreading. I should have known he'd bring it up. I was still searching around for a good enough answer when he spoke up, his voice barely above a whisper.
"You can't leave."
"I'm not going anywhere MacCready, I've got things to do."
"You know what I'm saying." He strode forward and knelt down at my feet, eyes serious. "Your son is gone, and that's a pain that I understand."
I refused to look up. "Your wife is dead MacCready, my son is still alive and is the head of the most feared and hated organization in the Commonwealth. You can't possibly understand my pain."
I got up and moved away, but he continued to speak, his voice pleading. "I meant that I know what it's like to want to die."
I paused.
"After my Lucy died, it hurt to get up every day and realize that the person I loved most was gone, and some days I never wanted to get up again. But I did. I did it for the other people in my life who still needed me."
I snorted. "What, like the gunners?"
"I mean my son."
I felt like I'd been struck by lightning. "You have a son?"
He nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. "Yes. When my Lucy was killed, it took everything I had to escape with Duncan in my arms. Sometimes I think maybe it would have been better if we'd died there with her. But she was special. No matter how bad things got, she was always there with a shoulder to lean on. It gave me... well, it gave me the courage I needed to press ahead... to never give up."
I couldn't believe my ears. MacCready? A father?
"When she died, I thought that feeling was gone forever… Then I met you."
My heart skipped a beat.
"You have the world's problems on your back and yet you've spent so much of your time helping everyone else... helping me. Lending me your shoulder like Lucy did." He stepped forward. "And everybody else... well, you can't imagine how torn up they were when you didn't come back."
For the first time, I actually felt guilt begin to creep into my gut.
"Preston was so antsy that he actually left Sanctuary to check on the other homesteads to lend a hand. Nick and Piper wouldn't rest until they dug up some news about you, and even Deacon went far underground to find some answers. But I think Danse took it the worst. He seemed to take it as a personal failure that you left without a word."
"I… I didn't realize," I said lamely, face burning.
"What, that we cared?"
No, I had always assumed that I was just a tool for all of them, a means to an end. That's how it had been for me... in the beginning. Then I'd reluctantly found myself invested in their lives and wellbeing. But I convinced myself that opening up to them would only bring me more pain, and I believed that they'd soon forget about me. I hadn't realized it was possible that they thought about me in the same way I'd come to think about them. That they were my…
"You're the closest thing to family I have out here Athena. And if they were here, I'm sure everyone else would say the same."
I didn't realize I was crying until he lifted up a finger to wipe a tear away.
"I… I don't know what to say."
"Then don't say anything."
Without warning, he leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft and sweet, and I melted into his arms. I couldn't prevent the sigh that escaped me as he pulled back for a brief moment to look at me, but this seemed to give MacCready new life. His arms tightened around me and he began to kiss me like a dying man in his last moments. I was lost in a world of absolute bliss.
I don't know how long we remained in each other's arms, it could have been hours for all I knew, but it was the soft chuckle that brought us back down to earth, gasping for air.
"Well well well, what do we have here."
I looked up at Hancock in a daze, surprised to find that MacCready had me pinned up against the wall. MacCready looked equally as confused, blinking like he'd just awoken from a deep sleep. My arms were around his neck and his hair was sticking out in every direction in an adorably disheveled mess. When I looked into his eyes, he gave me a dopey grin that made my stomach flip.
"This ain't exactly the kind of wrestling match I expected you two to be locked in when I left, but I can't say I'm surprised."
I attempted to remove my arms, embarrassed, but MacCready pressed a little closer, his thumbs brushing my cheeks. "Does this mean you'll stay?"
It was strange to think about the fact that a few minutes ago I would have been happy to lose my life, but now I wanted nothing more than to live. I nodded slowly, and his face lit up with the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. "Good."
He pressed one more solid kiss on my lips while Hancock wolf whistled behind us.
"Damn MacCready, after a kiss like that, you could even have me charmed."
"Er, thanks."
I laughed as MacCready pulled away looking uncomfortable, but he didn't remove his arm from around my waist.
"So what's our next move?"
They both looked at me.
I grinned, feeling on top of the world. "Let me tell you about a little plan I like to call 'Operation Overboss'."
