The Bake Sale
Disclaimer: I am a writer. However, where these characters are concerned, I am not THE writer. Harry Potter and all his friends, enemies, sidekicks and situations belong to JK Rowling, she of the genius that everyone wishes was hiding in their mental cupboard under the stairs as well. And, if she wants THIS situation, it's hers as a gift. The rest of you must ask.
Chapter Eleven: Don't Sue
"Filius Flitwick, come on down," exclaimed Lupin, in the style of a muggle gameshow host. His smile was becoming a little strained around the edges when a cheering little Flitwick rose majestically from his seat on a cloud of lambent air. He glided around the arena over the heads of the delighted guests, accompanied by a charmed chorus from all of his colleagues' hats. Snape seized his and glared the thing into silence. Dumbledore laughed at his and sang along.
Flitwick sailed over the crowd, now shooting little golden bubbles out of his wand. As they landed, they popped and said nice things about the person nearest them. The one next to Dumbledore said "You have a delightful manner." The one next to Snape said, "Your smile would astonish thousands." Dumbledore grinned and leaned over. "That's true, Severus," he said. One landed next to McGonagall and said "Nice Kitty." She snorted.
He coasted along, charming teacups and other hats, scarfs, and the seats in the entire third row into joining his song.
"Professor Flitwick is perhaps best known for the invention of the Fidelius Charm in 1936. His other accomplishments include a record seven gold medals in International Standards Dueling, 12 silvers, and 6 bronze, over a ten year period. Professor Flitwick had been Instructor of Charms at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since 1952, and Director of Charms since 1956. He is head of Ravenclaw House and a formidible adversary in any competition."
Flitwick floated down over the stage and the cloud covered the entire podium. As the cloud began to drift, the chorus rose to titanic proportion, shaking the stands as all the surrounding seats got into the act and began to sing along. There weren't any words, just a vivid loud humming of a particularly complex piece in sixteen part harmony. The cloud vanished along with the music, at last and Lupin was sporting a vivid new hair style, while Flitwick stood calmly at his side.
"Professor Flitwick is offering a week of his services to produce whatever charms are needed for your residence, office, or neighborhood. He promises to make to your life easier, and suggests that his offer might be the perfect gift for those newlyweds you know who are so hard to buy for."
"This is so much more interesting than a Bake Sale," squeaked the tiny professor, and added another, advanced cheering charm to Lupin's collection.
The former Defense Professor sparkled brilliantly, conjuring several balloon animals into existance and levitating them at children in the audience.
"25 galleons," a man's voice said in clipped tones.
Snape was surprised to realize that the man in question was not a parent or a Ministry Official, but the head of one of the largest British Wizarding publishing houses, Whizz Hard books.
"If I'm not mistaken," whispered Dumbledore, "that's Gilderoy Lockhart's publisher."
Snape nodded, having an idea what was going on now, as the bidding went up to 112 galleons.
Malfoy bid 125 and got distracted by an argument between his companion and some woman who swore she'd known him at Hogwarts.
"Sold!" exclaimed Lupin, "For 135 Galleons to Number 18."
Number 18 nodded and approached Flitwick immediately as he stepped down to rejoin the teachers. Snape found himself unable to resist listening in. As the tiny professor shook the man's hand, he introduced himself, just as Dumdledore had suggested, as Corriander Levine, of WhizzHard Books. "We're in a spot of difficultly," he said. "Someone in a high place has a friend who's become a werewolf, recently. Unfortunately, the Lockhart book 'Wanderings with Werewolves' seems to imply that there is a cure for the condition, an enormously complicated charm."
Flitwick nodded. "I've heard him speak on the subject," was all he said, though even the immense courtesy of the tiny professor could not keep all of the cynicism of such a statement out of his voice.
"Well, we need someone to find that charm. We fully intended to hire the best Charms expert in the country anyway, but every one of them insisted that he had learned everything he knew from you."
Snape watched with horror and fascination as Flitwick walked away with Levine. He shook his head and turned back to Lupin on stage. It was amazing what some people would do to avoid a law suit.
