Hogwarts (Challenges and Assignments).

Moresome May — triad: Sirius/Hermione/Remus — (AU) Tattoo Artist!AU


Sirius never thought Hermione Granger, his godson's swotty friend who lived with him at Grimmauld Place, would get a tattoo. But here she stood in front of him, proudly showing off her petite ankle tattoo of a blood-red rose. There were two delicate green leaves on either side of the stem, and he found the overall appearance of the tattoo strangely erotic.

As he examined it, he asked Hermione, "Where'd you get it? This looks like the work of a pro."

"I found a little parlour right at the end of Diagon Alley — almost to Knockturn Alley," she replied. "It was super clean, and oh, the owner of the place and the tattoo artist — Remus Lupin — was handsome!" She grinned. "That was an unexpected bonus."

Sirius tamped down the jealousy that rose inside him — he had no right to be jealous of a man whom Hermione would probably never see again. He shouldn't even be looking at his godson's best friend in the first place! Merlin, he had twenty years on her.

"I think I'll stop by sometime," he said, proud of his even tone. He wanted to check out the tattoo artist himself.

Hermione smiled. "You won't be disappointed," she assured him.


He certainly wasn't.

The tattoo artist was handsome. There was a rough, rugged look to him, with his bicep tats and the earring stuck through one ear, but his voice and mannerisms were as gentle as could be. He wore a black tank and ripped jeans, but aside from that fact he looked like he could model. He had a hard jawline, clean-shaven, messy — not Sirius's deliberately messy; naturally messy — sandy-blond hair, and piercing celery green eyes.

When Sirius entered, he looked up from his paperwork and smiled. "Welcome," he greeted.

Good grief, Sirius thought, no wonder Hermione is attracted to him. The man oozes raw sex appeal!

"Er, hello," he managed. "Are you Remus?"

"Why, yes, I am!" The man stood up. Sirius wasn't a short man by any stretch of the imagination — just under six feet — but Remus stood at least four inches taller than him. He had thick arms that spoke of much exercise and which put Sirius to shame. He suddenly felt much less sure about his chances with Hermione. "How may I help you today?"

"I'm looking to get a tattoo," Sirius explained. "My live in roommate came in a few days ago and gushed about you."

"And your roommate would be…?" he questioned.

"Ah, Hermione. Hermione Granger."

Remus smiled and nodded. "Yes, I remember her. Nearly talked my ear off, that one."

Sirius laughed. "That would be typical 'Mione for you."

Clapping his hands, Remus showed Sirius the books full of tattoo examples. "If you don't see one you like, I can do anything else if you draw it or show me a picture," he said. "Let me know when you've found one you like. I'm just going to finish up this form." He sat back down at his desk and Sirius heard his quill scratching the parchment as he flipped through the books.

"This one," he announced finally, pointing to a large black dog. Remus came over.

"The Grim?" he asked, sounding surprised. "Not many peoples' eyes are drawn to that one." He led Sirius over to the chair and had him sit. "Any specific reason you chose that particular tattoo?"

Sirius shook his head. Not many people knew he was an Animagus and he preferred to keep it that way. Hermione had made him register at the Ministry, so at least he wasn't illegal anymore. "No reason," he shrugged.

Remus hummed. "Where you want it?"

"Across my shoulder blades," replied Sirius.

"You sure? That's a painful place to get a tat. Makes it take longer to heal." Sirius nodded and Remus shrugged. "Okay, then. Muggle or magical ink, and how large?"

Sirius thought for a moment. Did he want the tattoo to move? "Muggle ink," he said finally. "And not too big. Maybe just barely touching each of my shoulder blades?"

"Mmkay," Remus said, readying his equipment. He eyed Sirius. "You'll need to take off your shirt, you know."

"Trying to get me out of my clothes already?" Sirius joked. He grabbed the hem of his t-shirt with both hands and dragged it off. He basked in Remus's discreetly appreciative glances, which made it quite obvious that the blond man played for both teams.

The banter continued back and forth while Sirius was inked, and he found himself agreeing more and more with Hermione's statement. He suddenly wondered, with a bit of a jolt, what it would be like to date both Remus and Hermione at the same time.


He broached the topic to Hermione the next morning at breakfast — which he made because Hermione was could not cook and was literally capable of burning, baking, broiling, and frying water.

"What do you think of triads?" he asked, shoveling a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth to keep from blurting everything out at once.

Hermione pursed her lips. "I think they're alright," she said. "Though they confuse me a bit."

"Really? In what way?"

"Well," Hermione began, "I'm afraid I don't quite understand why most of the triads I've read about are arranged because the woman is powerful. Or why I have never heard of a triad with two women and one man. Is that considered bad in the Wizarding world?"

"No, it's perfectly alright," Sirius said. "It's just more popular for two men to be with one witch because witches are often stronger and more powerful than wizards."

That seemed to mollify Hermione slightly. "I find them unusual and I often wish there were more of them, both in the Wizarding and Muggle worlds. We need some diversity, if I'm being completely honest."

This was the best time. "Hermione…what do you say we try a triad?"

The brunette blinked. "Um, Sirius, don't we need a third person for that to be a triad?"

"But what do you think of the idea?" he pressed. "Don't worry about the third person."

Hermione thought for a minute. "It would certainly be different," she admitted. "And truth be told, I've always been curious about how they work. Maybe this is my chance to see." She bit her lip. "I…guess we could try it."

"I've got the perfect person in mind for the third person," Sirius said.

"Please tell me it's someone I can stand."

He smirked. "Of course, Kitten," he promised. "I'm sure you'll love him."


"Please just trust me," Sirius begged. "I swear I'm not nuts. It's a surprise."

The man took his hand, reluctantly and suspiciously, and they disappeared with a crack.


"Um." Remus stared at Hermione, seated on the couch in the library of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. He turned back to Sirius. "What are we doing? What are you doing?"

Hermione rose gracefully, uncurling her legs from beneath her. "To be honest," she replied, "I don't really know. Sirius asked me how I felt about triads and told me not to worry about the third person. I'm assuming you're his choice for the last person?" She directed the last toward Sirius.

"Yes," he said. "I thought that Remus would be a good choice: we're both attracted to him —"

"Wait," Remus interrupted. "And what if I'm not attracted to you two?"

"Aren't you?" Hermione asked brazenly.

"Well, yes, but —"

He was cut off by Sirius. "That's all the answer we need! You're attracted to the both of us, and we're both attracted to you."

"This is so forward of you, Black!" Hermione exclaimed. "How dare you try to decide this without my input?"

He shrugged. "The decision was easy," he said. "My reasoning was what I just said: we like him, he likes us. We try it, and if we're unhappy, we can kill Remus off."

Remus took a step backward. Hermione blinked a few times before slapping Sirius's chest. "You idiot! Don't scare the poor man off before we even try this!"

"So you're agreeing to try it?" Sirius asked. His gaze shot to Remus. "That is, if you agree, too."

Remus chewed the inside of his cheek. "I don't know," he said softly. "What does this entail?"

Hermione glanced at a panicking Sirius. Clearly, he'd thought it would take more persuasion to get them to agree. "I'm assuming it entails romantic dinners, getting to know one another, maybe some movie nights with popcorn, and other 'date' type things. We can decide on that as we go along. What do you say?" Her eyelashes cast long, dark shadows across her cheeks in the orange of the setting sun.

"I say…yes."


Remus never thought it would turn out the way it had. Hermione had spotted the signs of lycanthropy after spending barely two months with him, but for some reason it didn't bother her.

In fact, she told Sirius — who also didn't care about his "furry little problem," as he named it — and the two of them stood in front of him one day and asked to get a magical tattoo of a wolf howling at the moon.

He was surprised by the request, but pleasantly so. Finally someone — two people, in fact — who loved and accepted him as he was.


word count: 1558