Chapter 11

The pain remained in my heart.

Even though I must be dead now, I can't help but to feel lonely. I remembered seeing my life flah before my eyes in one point. I remembered the times that I spent with my sister and my mother and how they had died and left me behind. After my mum had died, dad stopped visiting me. I noticed that, but I never said anything.

I remember the time that I met Marik. It was a purely innocent meeting. Well, it was on my side. Marik however crudely asked whether I was a girl or boy and then groped my chest. He was insisting that I played with him in the park all day until it was dark, but even when it was dark, he didn't want to go home.

It wasn't a good idea for two people to be alone in the park, and I wanted to go home so I convinced him to let me walk him home. That's when I saw his dad yelling at him for staying outside for so long or even going outside at all and hit Marik. I took Marik's hand and ran that night to my house where his dad couldn't follow us. He tried, but I knew all the short cuts to go through to lose him.

I frantically called my dad and insisted that I moved to Domino City. He didn't question it and the next day I moved with Marik to Domino City. That's how we started living together. I had to teach Marik how to cook, but it wasn't that bad. I met Yugi here as well. We played games with each other at school, but lately he's been busy so there was no point in me being around. He made it without me before so he can do it again.

Oh, now I remember Bakura. I can almost hear his voice. He was calling me Ryou for once. Oh there was it again.

"Hey, Ryou," the voice shouted out again. "Look at me. Stop ignoring me!"

I looked around the black emptiness around me and I noticed that Bakura was right behind me. He looked so relieved that he hugged me tightly. Was this a dream? My face fell. If it was a dream then that meant that I wasn't dead. How worthless am I? I can't even die properly.

"Did you die too?" Bakura asked. "What happened? Who did this to you?"

Huh? Die too? Did Bakura think he died? Wait. Wouldn't it make more sense if it was my dream?

"I did it to myself," I said, looking upon my arms. It looked like I was still bleeding. My arms were a mess of red. "Because I didn't want to feel like I was alone anymore."

"Ha! You have Marik don't you? You're not alone," he spat out.

"He's been around Malik lately, so I never see him anymore," I told him. Why tell him this? I didn't trust him. I was supposed to hate him, but I must have thought that it would be okay since this wasn't real. Even if it was then if we're dead then it doesn't really matter anymore. "I don't have any other friends that would spend their time around me, and I couldn't bring myself to forgive you. Even though I still know that I love you."

Bakura hugged me close to his body. Even though this was a dream, he felt warm. I cried into his chest. If only he was doing this before I tried to kill myself. I hugged him close and cried into his chest.

"I love you."

I gasped with my eyes wide open. It was only a dream, but where am I? I looked around and sat up. Marik was asleep next to the bed that I was resting on. I looked around the room to see that I was in the hospital. Hey, what's that mess of white hair on the other bed? Bakura?

"Ba-bakura?" I stuttered out, my voice was sore and dry. My eyes hurt from the light in the room. Marik stirred and looked at me.

"Ryou!" He shouted and hugged me tightly. "I thought you'd die for sure. Why did you do something that stupid?"'

He frowned at me and I felt guilty for making him worry. I looked down, hiding my face with my hair and hugged him back weakly. I looked at him and motioned towards my throat. He nodded and got me a bottle of water. I drank it fast and looked at Marik.

"Don't worry, they won't put you into a mental institution," Marik said with a nod. "Malik took care of it. Don't ask me how, you don't want to know."

Anything with Malik 'convincing people' was something I didn't want to know. I looked at him and decided to speak, "Why is Bakura in the hospital?"

"He tried to commit suicide too," Marik told me. There was a pang of pain in my chest. Why would he do that? All I knew was that he was under a lot of stress. Was that it? Stress does do a lot of things to the body and mind.

"He's in a coma," he told me and my eyes widened. No, why would he be in a coma? "He swallowed some pills while he was drinking or so Malik told me. He left a note for you, but I don't think you're in shape to read it right now."

I shake my head.

"No, I want to read it now," I told him.

"Are you sure?" Marik asks me.

"I'm sure, let me read it."

It was addressed to me. I should read it. Otherwise, it's like disrespecting his memory. Why was I acting like he's dead? He's not dead. He's stronger than that. He'd wake up at any moment and probably yell at me that I was treating him like he was dead.

Marik took out a piece of folded paper from his pocket and gave it to me. I opened it and saw the writing that was scribbled down neatly.

Dear Ryou,

I know what you must think of me, after knowing that I had used you for some stupid bet with that crazy bastard and the guy that believes that he's the pharaoh. You probably hate me. You won't forgive me. But after tonight, you won't have to deal with me anymore. Are you happy now?

If you are really are reading this and not threw it into the trash yet, then I need to tell you something. I should have told you this before. I did begin to like you when I was dating you. Hell, I love you. Even though now that I messed up and I should probably move on, I can't. You haunt my dream. I can't stomach my food anymore. I just keep thinking about you.

Pathetic. I am pathetic. You probably deserve better anyway.

Good bye,

Bakura Yami.

My eyes swelled up with tears and I cried into my hands. We were both stupid. I was too stubborn to forgive Bakura and he was too stubborn to tell this to my face. If we actually talked earlier maybe this wouldn't have happen. Maybe right now we could have been doing something else. I didn't ask for all this drama, it just found me.

"Ryou?" Marik called out as he touched my shoulder. I cried into his chest, though it wasn't the same as how I was crying into my dream Bakura's chest. It wasn't as warm as I expected it to be, but it was good enough for now.

"When will he wake up?" I asked Marik, forcing my voice to be strong. He had to wake up soon. I had so much to tell him. I wanted him to smile at me, to call me Brit. I would even want him to yell at me for being so stupid. I just wanted him to be okay. I wanted to go back to how we were.

"We don't know," Marik told me and I frowned. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a bloody mess," I told him and looked over at Bakura. "I should probably apologize to him when he wakes up."

"It's up to you," Marik said. "The doctors say you're not going to be released out of here for a while now, so you have a lot of time to think about it."

I nodded. That was true and I would be always here to see Bakura in a sense. It was summer so no problems with the homework that school would put onto me. Also, I needed the chance to relax. I looked over at Bakura.

"Hey," Marik said. "I'll visit you every day so you won't get lonely. Alright?"

I smiled at him. I could always count on him.

"Besiiiides if I'm here with my sexy body then you won't have time to be depressed!" Marik claimed. I laughed. It was such a long time since I last laughed. It felt good. "After all of this is over. Maybe we'll go and watch a movie together."

"Are you asking me on a date?" I joked, finding myself feel lighter for a moment.

"Maybe," he said with a wink. "If it's a double date is what you mean."

"A double date?" I asked out of surprised. He really thought that I could get back together with Bakura. I smiled to myself. I was beginning to believe so as well now.

"Of course!" Marik said. "And Bakura will be treating, because Malik said he just found his stash of stolen goods."

I laughed again.

"Wait, you're joking right?"


"I love you," I heard him whisper into my ears.

"I love you too," I told him with a smile on his face. After all this time I was able to say it back to him, even though it was in a dream. I saw tears in his eyes and then a white light flooded my senses.

I sat up in my bed.

When did I? Oh right I was home now. I wished I could have been dreaming more. Now, that Bakura was still in a coma. I was starting to lose faith.

It's been a month now. I've been released from the hospital, but I came to visit Bakura every day. Lately, I've been dreaming about Bakura. It was wonderful, too wonderful. I started to want to be sleeping along side with Bakura, even though he was in a coma. I got up and went downstairs to the kitchen.

"Oh you're awake," Marik said as he was naked in only an apron. I covered my eyes. "Oh, I was hoping that Malik woke up earlier than you."

"I don't want to know," I said as I felt my way over to the door. "I lost my appetite. I'll eat something after I visit Bakura."

I wanted to burn that image out of my mind. He could have done that over at Malik's house. I did not want to see my best friend like that. It felt like today wasn't going to be a very good day. I sighed and soon I found myself in front of Bakura's hospital room.

"Don't stop me! I got to get out of here!" I heard a voice shout from inside of the room. Bakura?

"Sir, you have to relax," another voice said inside the room. "You just woke up from a coma."

I gulped and hoped that I wasn't going crazy. I opened the door and saw that Bakura was almost going to assault the nurse when he saw me. He ran over to me and hugged me so tightly that I thought that I'd suffocate.

"Ryou, I'm so sorry," he muttered out.

I cried so hard into his chest that day.