Chapter 11
Edward's POV
To say I'd had a rough night was an understatement.
Ever since I'd gotten Bella's email and re-listened to the CD she'd made me, I'd been a wreck, both physically and emotionally. I'd listened carefully to the music, and when I hadn't been able to understand the lyrics, I'd opened my laptop and looked them up. After spending some time studying the words to the songs she'd given me, I'd had to take a cold shower. When that hadn't helped, I'd put on a classical CD and tried to go to sleep. I should have known better than that. Classical music helps me think – and the last thing I needed to do was to dwell on the things that I wanted to do to Bella.
I'd finally gotten up and paced relentlessly, listening to the CD on repeat. I was going to be of no use to anyone tomorrow; I was going to be so tired I'd probably be falling asleep in my classes, which had never happened before. Finally, on the third go-round, I decided that I would retaliate. I would complete my spontaneous combustion CD and give it to her tomorrow – then she would have time tomorrow night to listen to it, and she would be worked up until she saw me on Thursday. Revenge would be so sweet!
I stayed up until three o'clock in the morning, finding the songs that I needed and ripping them onto my computer. Once I had burned them to a blank CD, however, I had nothing else to keep me occupied. What else was there to do? I laid in my bed, and thought of Bella for a long time. Eventually I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, I was being jolted awake much too early by my alarm clock.
I switched the damned thing off and sat up in my bed, rubbing my eyes. Noon was going to be piteously slow in arriving today; I could feel it. I took a shower, not passing on the chance to relieve myself of all of my carnal desires while I did so, and when I had dressed, I felt marginally better. I would be completely better when 12:15 arrived and I was in the company of the one who'd caused me so much discomfort last night. Even now all I could think about was kissing her into oblivion.
I was still listening to the CD in the car on the way to class (apparently I am a complete masochist – I couldn't help myself), and after I had gotten out of the car and begun walking to class, I found myself still going over the lyrics in my head. I stopped and laughed at myself, ignoring the looks that passerby were giving me. What else was I expected to think about? After all, I hadn't had sex in a long time, and Bella was nothing if not willing… and she wanted me, and that was the context in which I was listening to the songs! Every word sparked vivid images in my imagination.
I shook my head to try and clear it of the thoughts that were about to head in the wrong direction again, but then I realized something: the songs on Bella's CD had been aggressive and overtly sexual. Most of the songs on the CD I had in my messenger bag were slow and tender… and also tended to have emotion behind them. I patted the outside zipper pocket of my bag where the CD was, and I sighed. I wondered now if she would think less of me for putting together such a thing – and then I realized that I didn't care. I was in love with this woman, regardless of how she felt, and regardless of the fact that I had fallen so quickly. This was as good a way as any to let her know that I cared about more than just getting her into bed, and that the sex act – when it finally happened – would hold a significant amount of meaning for me. She had said she didn't want anyone other than me – ever – hadn't she?
I went to my first class of the day, and amazingly enough I was able to participate in the discussion coherently. The next class was even easier, though I'd be a liar if I said that it didn't take a Herculean effort to concentrate. By the time my third class was over, I felt as though I'd run a marathon; I was mentally and physically drained. My lack of sleep was catching up with me.
And then all it took to get my heart racing and my entire system completely alert was a glance at my watch, which told me that it was 11:15. One hour until I would be with her again, and I could give her the CD I'd made.
I made my way to the gazebo – our gazebo, and sat down. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through the messages we'd exchanged last night, and I couldn't help the smile that turned my mouth up. I was really looking forward to tomorrow night. I couldn't wait to have her all to myself, and I was actually considering asking Alice not to take Bella with her to the club, just so I could be alone with her longer. I hadn't though, because even if Bella didn't really want to go, I knew my sister well enough to know that she'd find some way of getting back at me, and I wouldn't like it.
I sighed and closed my phone, shoving it back into my pocket. I was staring off into space and thinking about Bella when my phone vibrated. I was so surprised that I jumped.
Are you still in class?
The grin that stretched across my face was so big that I wondered at myself. It was just a text message, but it was the first time I'd heard from her today. Nope. Waiting for you. Why are you texting during class?
Not in class. I felt my grin fade just a little bit, and a wave of disappointment rolled over me. Was she sick? That would ruin my entire weekend…
Why not?
Decided to skip.
Second week of classes and you're already skipping? Tsk tsk!
Well if you don't want to see me I can go back to the dorm…
No! Come meet me… but why are you texting me when you could be talking to me?
My phone rang, and I laughed. "Hello?"
"I thought you were in class, remember?"
"Right," I said, still smiling like an idiot. "Where are you?"
"Well," she said, a hint of laughter in her voice, "Close enough that I can see you."
"What?" I stood up and looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of her.
"You look kind of panicked." She laughed. "Were you doing something that you shouldn't have been doing?"
"Like what?" I was still looking around for her when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and found myself looking into a pair of highly amused coffee-colored eyes, and I shut the phone. I didn't even wait for her to answer my question before I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my lips against hers. She lifted her arms and curled them around my neck, and when I felt her touch the nape of my neck gently with her fingertips, I deepened the kiss. It was an amazing release of the emotion I'd let keep me awake last night, and because it felt so damned good, I held nothing back. Our tongues moved together, and my arms tightened around her.
"Edward," she breathed finally, when I had decided to taste the skin of her jaw, "Hello to you, too."
"Mmm," I muttered, unwilling to stop my exploration of her skin. I kissed all the way down her jaw, paused just long enough at the spot behind her ear to hear her breathing hitch, and then began my assault on the creamy expanse of her throat.
"If you keep this up, we may end up putting on a show for anyone who happens to walk by," she warned half-heartedly. Her fingers were curling into my hair, tugging gently, which only enflamed my desire more – if that were even humanly possible.
"Mmm," I replied. I pulled the neck of her shirt open just enough to expose a bit of her collarbone, and I sucked gently. She gasped, and after a moment, I pulled back to smile at her. "I missed you."
"Really?" She asked, trying to steady her breathing. "I couldn't tell."
"I have something for you." It didn't escape my notice that she hadn't tried to extricate herself from my arms, which were firmly wrapped around her, and she hadn't moved hers away from my neck. Immediately her expression turned wary.
"You do?"
"What, don't you like gifts?" I teased.
"Not particularly," she admitted, sighing.
"Well, then you'll be happy to know that it's not really a gift."
"What is it?"
"I finished my CD." Her eyes lit up.
"You did? That was quick! Can I have it?"
"No," I said, laughing. Her smile dissipated. "You didn't let me listen to mine right away, so I'm going to keep you in turmoil until we part ways for the day." She wrinkled her nose at me, and it was so adorably appealing that I dropped a quick kiss on it. I let go of her and reached for my messenger bag.
"I thought you were happy to see me," she said, pouting.
"I am happy to see you!" I laughed again. "I'm about to take you out to lunch, remember?"
She sighed. "But you won't give me the CD? I don't see why you can't just give it to me. I mean, it's not like I can listen to it right now, anyway." She adjusted the strap of her messenger bag on her shoulder, and I was intrigued to see her cheeks turn pink. When she finally spoke, her voice was softer. "I missed you last night. You have no idea how much I wish I'd been able to see you after we said goodnight."
I studied her face silently for a moment, and when I didn't answer, she looked at me. She shifted nervously. "What? Did I say something wrong?"
"No," I said, clearing my throat so my voice wouldn't break. "I wasn't kidding last night when I offered to come and get you."
"I know."
"I would have loved to have been face to face with you last night – especially after I listened to that CD multiple times. To be perfectly honest, I had a hard time getting to sleep."
"Me, too," she admitted. "Not because of the CD, I mean, but because I kept thinking about the things I'd sent to you, and wondering if maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. I don't want to ruin anything by coming on too strong."
"You didn't ruin anything," I reassured her. She was visibly relieved, and gave me a breathtaking smile. "I enjoyed every second of our conversation."
"Even when it got scary?"
"Even then," I admitted. "You have no idea how much I appreciate the honesty and forthrightness you showed me last night. It seems like everyone else has always played some sort of game with me, and you're so different from that."
"Ah," she said, her cheeks turning pink again as she smiled. "Sensitive Edward makes his appearance." I laughed.
"I suppose. Are you hungry?"
"Starved."
"Then let's go eat, shall we?"
Bella's POV
I was completely startled when he'd taken me into his arms and planted that kiss on me as soon as he'd seen me. My heart had jumped into my throat and set up camp there, it seemed. His reluctance to stop kissing me had made my temperature rise and my body shake with anticipation. I had expected maybe a kiss or two, but nothing like this. I wasn't complaining, though; I had lain awake half of the night, thinking about the things we'd said to each other, and wondering if I'd overstepped some invisible emotional boundary.
We had a lovely lunch together, eating and talking with ease, which helped to allay my fears. We'd almost finished with lunch when I realized exactly how much the previous night's conversation had weighed on me. I felt as though a burden had been lifted from my shoulders, and I think Edward noticed when that happened.
"You seem happier," he observed, throwing away the remnants of our meal. I shrugged and took one last sip of my drink, and then tossed it into the trashcan before we left the restaurant.
"I'm fine," I said, smiling at him. He smiled back, even though he looked a little confused, and held the car door open for me. When he had gotten in and sat down, he put the key in the ignition, and then hesitated. When he turned to me, I raised my eyebrows. "Are you okay?"
"It's just-" He stared at me for several moments, and then he reached out and touched my cheek gently with his fingertips. "Things seem to be progressing so easily between us, don't they? It seems so effortless. I suppose I'm just not used to it, is all." I smiled.
"That's good, though, right? That things are so easy?"
"It's amazing," he agreed, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "You're amazing." I felt my cheeks burn.
"So, what were you listening to this morning?" I asked, changing the subject as he started the car. I turned the volume up on the radio and was surprised to hear one of the songs from my spontaneous combustion CD playing. He looked completely shocked for a moment, and then quickly shut the CD player off. I stared at his reddened cheeks for all of six seconds, and then I burst out laughing.
"Why is it funny that I was listening to the CD you gave me?" he demanded, though he was grinning.
"That's not what's funny," I gasped, still giggling. "What's funny is that you were listening to it in the morning, on your way to class!"
"Why is that funny?"
"Because it's not something you'd want to listen to in the morning, is all!"
"When would you advise listening to it, then?" he asked, pulling into a parking space and shutting the car off. He turned to me expectantly, and I felt my face flush.
"At night, when you're alone in your room – or alone with another person you're attracted to."
"And why is that?"
"Because the songs are supposed to get you excited physically and make you think about doing the things they're singing about," I explained, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. I removed my seat belt and exited the car. I turned, and he was standing next to me so quickly that I blinked in surprise.
"And you can't feel that way during the day, is that what you're saying?" He asked, feigning innocence. I swallowed with difficulty.
"I never said that," I clarified. He moved closer to me, and I felt the urge to let my eyes roll back in my head when his arms snaked around my waist, pulling me closer.
"Are you saying that you never feel that way, except at night?"
"No," I breathed, closing my eyes. I concentrated on the movements of his thumbs against the small of my back. When I opened my eyes again to look at him, he was watching me with amusement. "But obviously you feel that way during the day."
"I feel that way right now," he supplied, making my heart pound violently against my ribcage.
"Edward," I said, my tone a warning. "If you kiss me now, we will not make it to class. That is a promise."
"What will happen if I kiss you after class?" He asked, smirking. I let my forehead drop to his shoulder.
"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"
"No – but I believe you're beginning to get an idea of how I felt last night." I sighed.
"So this is payback for the CD we both agreed to make?"
"Not so much payback as material for you to remember tonight when you're listening to the CD I made for you." I laughed.
"I didn't realize there was a Cruel Edward," I remarked. He laughed throatily, and I could feel the vibrations of his laughter in his chest as he held me.
"I'm not trying to be cruel," he said apologetically, after a moment. He slipped a finger under my chin and gently forced my head up. When our eyes met, he placed an agonizingly slow kiss on my lips, and I sighed. "I would never purposely hurt you, my Bella."
I shivered. There was that phrase again – my Bella. I loved it. I didn't think I'd ever get tired of hearing him say it. I was ready to melt into his arms and beg him to just take me back to his apartment when he let go of me.
"We're going to be late for class if we don't get going," he said, smiling brilliantly at me. Too overwhelmed by emotion, I just nodded and took the hand he offered.
