Many thanks to: Skilled defence, Evie-Chan589, greenteamoose, Kun'aii,
Last time on The Woes of Itachi!
"Itachi-samaaaaa! Why is there a door in Tsukiko-chan's way? Should she smash it? She will okay?! Itachi-sama?" Itachi barely suppressed a groan.
The look on Tsukiko's face made Itachi want to run for the hills. Screaming was optional. She looked like a cat that swallowed a bird sanctuary, and possibly someone's baby. Well, she definitely looked conspiratorial and evil.
"Hey Itachi-sama, what does Leader-sama's face look like?"
Itachi was stumped. To be perfectly honest, he didn't know. He was pretty sure that he didn't want to know either. Rumor had it that Zetsu only had one personality until he saw Leader-sama's face. Deidara often told Tobi that story to give him nightmares.
"It's a secret." He replied lamely.
Tsukiko looked at him dubiously, her dark blue eyes boring into his own. All time seemed to stop. Suddenly the serious expression vanished from her face and was replaced by a stupid smile. "Okay, Itachi-sama! It's a secret!" Still smiling like she had been hitting Zetsu's shroom closet a little too hard, she bounced away, chanting, "it's a secret! It's a secret! Secret secret secret! Yaah!"
Deidara walked up to Itachi, both watching the strange girl running around in circles. "So what's with her today?" Itachi shrugged, walking away, "she wants to see Leader-sama's face."
Deidara choked on his spit. "Don't you know what happened to Zetsu?"
"So?"
"Do you really want her to be more messed up in the head than she already is?"
Itachi thought about that for a minute. A vision of Tsukiko carrying a banner proclaiming her love for him screaming at the top of her lungs, 'I love you ITACHI-SAMA!!! I wanna have your baby! I got a your name tattooed on my butt! You wanna see it?!"
Shuddering, Itachi followed her quickly, hoping that he wasn't too late. Luck must have been on his side, because he encountered Tsukiko along a deserted hallway. Stopping is a way that made his Akatsuki cloak flutter impressively, he examined Tsukiko's awestruck face.
"Itachi-sama..." She whispered, staring at him with wide eyes, his head bent over hers, her head flung back to stare into his vermilion eyes with her own own azure orbs. He leaned forward, past her flushed face and whispered into her ear,
"I'm sorry, Tsukiko, but I must ask you to not look at Leader-sama's face. It is dangerous, and I wouldn't be able to bear it if my dear follower was hurt."
'Please don't make me kiss her.' He thought, unable to even think about the implications, and Tsukiko's behavior afterwards.
"I'm sorry, Itachi-sama," Tsukiko said in a small voice, pushing him away, a delicate blush on her face, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "But you are God and I am but an unworthy follower," she looked up at him, heartbroken, "and besides, I already saw Leader-sama's face."
As if on cue (which it probably was), Leader-sama rushed in, his habitual cloud of darkness surrounding his head, and his eyes practically glowing with rage. Before Tsukiko could utter a word, she was sliced in half, her legs crumbling beneath her.
"Ow!" She yelled, waving her arms indignantly. "You know, I may be immortal, but that doesn't mean that cutting me in half doesn't hurt!" Twisting around on the floor she started shoving her innards back into her body, grumbling about how people are just so rude these days.
Leader-sama, meanwhile, huffing in a useless attempt to calm down glared at Itachi. Itachi found that also to be quite rude, as he had nothing to do with this... incident.
"Itachi," Leader-sama ground out, "I have much respect for your talents and for that reason, I will not kill you, but you and your partner will get out of our base until I contact you again. If you do not, I cannot guarantee either of your safety."
Although Itachi was perfectly fine with leaving Tsukiko here at the mercy of Leader-sama, he quickly pulled Tsukiko up by her arm, with minimal protest from her due to the fact that she was still healing her spine.
As they exited the oh so wonderful and comfortable cave, Itachi looked over at Tsukiko, who was fiddling with a bell on her hat.
"Did you really see his face?" He finally asked.
"Of course I saw his face. Leader-sama wouldn't have been so mad otherwise. He ruined my favorite shirt." Tsukiko replied, putting the hat back on and pranced ahead, turning around and grinning like a child. A particularly terrifying child that might be the main antagonist of a movie with a title like Child of the Devil, Things That Go bump In the Night, or The Exorcist: The OTHER Version.
"So what did he look like?" He asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.
She waved her hand over her head like an ear. "Like a kitten. He was very cute. And he even had ears too. But you could barely see them in his hair. I wonder of it itches to have hair tickling the insides of his ears all the time." She continued to rant on happily, describing in great detail just how positively adorable Leader-sama was and how she couldn't understand why he didn't show his face to everyone.
"I shouldn't have asked." Itachi muttered, shuffling miserably after the oblivious kunoichi.
Author's Note -
Wow it's been a while since I updated, huh? Well, four AP classes are pretty demanding and I'm still trying to get used to all the extra stuff I have to carry around with me. I'm surprised that college students don't spend their free-time at a chiropractor's getting their back realigned. Anyway, yes, I know that it's kinda short, and I will update soon. Hopefully within this week, after that, every other day probably, since those chapters are already done.
Please review!
DAR
