A/N-I had to make most of this chapter flashback because it got kind of long. Thanks, as always, for making this so fun!

This is an M-rated chapter.


Chapter 11: Accidental

It didn't take Jane and Kurt long to get to Johannesburg, but once they were there, finding further leads was certainly complicated. Jozi, as some of the residents called it, was a huge city, with many suburbs and divisions, with buildings ranging from makeshift hovels to grand mansions and skyscraping hotels and everything else in between.

After checking a few places on Hark's list, they decided to go from division to division, hoping to see something that might jog Jane's memory.

Sitting in a restaurant, Jane started to daydream while she waited for Kurt to return to the table. A bright light caught her eye when a beam from the sun was reflected off a glass door, and suddenly Jane had a sharp vision.

Staring up into an almost blinding light, she was in a room walled off by plastic tarps and bare wood walls. Monitors beeped and whirred behind her, and when she tried to move, she was strapped down to a cold metal gurney. She realized, suddenly, that there were two sets of beeping monitors. Lifting her head, she looked to her left and saw a man on the gurney next to her.

He faced her, and she immediately recognized Kurt. He was younger, slimmer, and had just a shadow of a beard, so much like in the old picture Rich had sent them. His eyes spoke volumes about the terror he felt. He whispered, "We don't have much time. She's coming back!"

Jane remembered herself trying to speak, but feeling far too disoriented.

"Promise me," he whispered as steps echoed down the hall, coming steadily closer, "promise you won't forget me. I will never forget you, no matter what they do."

A figure approached wearing surgical gear, and tapped something into a computer, carefully watching the monitor. Jane remembered a sharp stab of pain that seemed to emanate from her lower back, and a hideous cramping sensation that was enough to make even her cry out in pain. Kurt was next to her, angrily threatening, "If you hurt her, I will hunt you down and I will kill you." A second person in surgical gear, face covered with a mask, appeared. The only identifying trait that was visible was a single spiral of straw-colored hair that poked out disobediently from the covering. The two began to wheel her down the hall.

As the doors shut behind them, Jane heard Kurt shout, "I love you, Remy. I won't forget."

A few memories and slips of words flew through her head as it felt like she was yanked through visions of the past before she came back to her present moment.

"You okay?" he asked as he sat down next to her in the restaurant. When he saw the pale look on her face, he asked, "A memory?"

"Yea. I think—I think I remember when they took our memories," she said, filling him in on the details and hoping that he'd be able to recall other elements of the story.

"It'll come back," he replied, putting his hand over hers on the table. "It's slow, but between the two of us, we'll put the pieces back together."

"It was weird, though. I remember this horrible pain. And then feeling like I was pulled back through time. I could see us together when we were younger. Just bits and pieces. You were there. I could hear our voices. I swear I could hear myself saying something about Jozi…and then a place called Gomorrah. Does that ring any bells?"

He looked at a map on his phone and shrugged, "Sounds more like local slang or a town nickname. We can ask around."


Late March 2003-Secret US Military Training Camp somewhere in Eastern Europe

The squad was running missions at least once a week, flying across the world, always largely in the dark about their activities except for the things they really needed to know to perform their duties. Kurt always picked Remy to partner with him, both because she was the one he trusted most, and because he wanted to protect her as well. The days of training and fighting started to run together, and the toll of constant work and stress was obvious in the soldiers' demeanor.

One day they were called one by one to the medic. Each of them received shots and an implant in their upper arm. Weller had been busy in a meeting with McKinley, and when he went for his appointment, he asked what they were being given. "Boosters," the medic answered as he prepped the shots.

"I should be all up to date. What exactly are these shots for this time?" Weller insisted. The squad seemed to require far more vaccinations and tests than any unit he'd ever been part of before.

The medic stared with dead eyes and answered, "Disease prevention."

Kurt took the boosters, but when the medic pulled out a strange apparatus, Kurt stepped back, "What's that? That's not a booster."

"Your commanding officer has ordered that each of you receive an implant."

"Implant for what?"

The medic called McKinley, who promptly joined them. "You have questions, Sergeant Weller?"

As the medic stepped out, Kurt asked, "What is this implant for? You gave them to my whole squad?"

"It's for your benefit as well as ours. It's a hormone regulator."

"Why do we need that?"

"It serves many purposes. It has come to my attention that several of the men have been regularly seeing local women."

"They work hard. They deserve a leave now and again."

"I don't deny that. But our presence here is supposed to be a secret, and I don't want angry families showing up at my door demanding support for children conceived from these 'leaves'. It also helps control hormone levels in times of stress. If we can control adrenaline bursts, we can make you all better soldiers. And, between us, we're seeing more depression and other issues with the squad, and this can help."

"I've never heard of implanted birth control for men."

"Relax, Sergeant. I suspect it will be approved by the FDA any day now. And that's just one benefit of many. Don't be so myopic. Do you really think I'd do anything to hurt my men?"

"I think I'd like to decline the implant," Kurt said, wondering if Remy had already visited the medic.

McKinley sneered spitefully, "Apparently you've forgotten your place here. You weren't brought here to think. You were brought here to take orders. This isn't negotiable, soldier. It is required. Do you wish to remain with the squad?"

"Yes, of course, sir."

"Then you will allow the medic to implant this regulator. It's for your own good. You have two choices, receive the implant now, or I will personally escort you from the camp immediately and you will cease all contact with the squad."

Weller knew the implications. Connors would take over. Remy would be there alone. He wondered if he'd ever find her again, or if she'd ever know why he'd left. "Fine," Kurt agreed, fully intending on removing the object as soon as possible.

McKinley called in the medic, and stood watch while Kurt received the implant.

"I'd like you to check on Sgt. Weller's implant at least once a week," McKinley instructed the medic. "I certainly don't want him to get a nasty infection. Of course if it should happen to fall out, measures will have to be taken."

"Yessir," the medic answered.

The mood in the barracks varied. Some weren't worried about the implant. Most were concerned. Kurt and Remy had both argued against the implants, but ultimately both elected to get them. They didn't admit that they'd each accepted the implant because they were threatened with immediate expulsion and didn't want to lose contact with each other.

They took a run together, far away from prying ears, to discuss their plans.

"Have you ever used anything like this before?" he asked her. "Like Norplant or something like that?"

"Me? No. I've never even taken the pill," she replied.

"Never?" he asked. "So what do you use? Rubbers?"

"Nothing," she answered as she ran.

"Kinda dangerous, isn't it?"

"Not really," she dully replied.

"Yea it is. Do you have any idea the things you can catch? Not to mention unwanted—"

"There is one definite way to avoid all of those complications," she interrupted.

"Yea, but who in the hell can—," he stopped running, and waited for her to notice. "Are you saying you've never…you know?"

"Yes, Kurt," she replied with irritation. "Not that it's your business. But I've never 'you know'. And don't tell anyone else that."

"I never tell anyone anything…except you. You know that."

"Good."

"I just don't get how it's possible."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, confrontationally.

"Well you're…hot. You have a perfect body, gorgeous eyes, a beaut—," he caught himself and stopped dead. He was embarrassed by his compliments, so he halted, adding more seriously, "Well…I'm just saying that I'm sure you had plenty of options."

"Look," she said, requiring much less pulling from him to answer personal questions than she used to before they'd become so close, "when we were kids in the training camp, the orphanage…I fought hard every day to make sure I didn't get raped by any of those older boys. And let me tell you, that was no easy task, but I succeeded. Once we moved with Shepherd, it got better, but I wasn't good with people. Never met a guy I trusted enough to be that close with. Like I've told you before, I'm really screwed up."

"You're not screwed up. It makes sense," he said understandingly. "Trying to protect yourself day after day could definitely take the fun out of it. Did you ever have a boyfriend?"

"Nope," she answered, becoming frustrated with this line of questioning since it made her feel like even more of a human anomaly than she usually did. "I think I need to get a message to Shepherd, about these implants," Remy said, changing the subject. "She might be able to tell us more. She recently retired, but that woman always seems to know what's going on."

"Wait…Shepherd? You know her?" Kurt asked.

"Of course. She's the woman who adopted me."

"You call her 'Shepherd'?"

"Everyone does. How do you know her?"

"She was my commanding officer, briefly. She actually recommended me for squad sergeant. I think she's the reason I was selected."

"That's weird," Remy said, thinking for a moment. "Well, I need to get a message to her. Obviously we want to keep this quiet. I have a drop location in case I need her."

They began their return run to camp, and after a mile or so of silence, she commented, "You've probably had a few girlfriends, hunh?"

"A few," he answered.

"Anyone serious…a fiancée or wife?"

"Oh hell no," he answered as he ran, "I'm way too choosy."


When they returned from their run, Connors walked straight up to Remy and said, "Look, Weller's pet came back home. So did you two go test out those new contraceptive devices? You were gone an awful long time." She ignored him, like she often did, but he continued. "I'll be honest, I can't really figure out who's the top in that situation. Sometimes the toughest guys are the ones who want some bitch to tie them up and order them around…if you know what I mean."

All of the other men in her squad liked and respected her, but Connors refused to stop being an ass. In fact, in recent days, he was becoming angrier and more irrational with everyone, provoking fights and reacting with rage over relatively inconsequential events.

Remy was about to lose her cool, but Weller, who came in just in time to see Connors leering over Remy, was beyond furious at what he saw. Connors looked like he was about to slap Remy's ass, but Weller grabbed the younger man's hand before he could touch her. Weller squeezed his fist and watched Connors drop to his knees, fearing the finger Weller held was about to be broken. "Apologize," Kurt said.

Without missing a beat, Connors yelled through gritted teeth, "I'm sorry."

Leaning down to talk in Connors' face, Weller said, "I've stood by and watched her fend you off. I've watched every other man in this squad tell you to back off, but you don't listen. So now it's my turn. You step out of line with her again, and I'll break a finger. If I run out of fingers, you're discharged from the squad. Have I made myself perfectly clear?"

"Sure. Yea," Connors answered.

Kurt let go and Connors spat, "You're awful protective. Maybe you're still trying to impress her? Maybe you're the one trying to hit that. Did she shoot you down?"

"Say whatever you want about me," Kurt replied. "Just keep your mouth shut about her."


Kurt and Remy quietly conspired to find a way to get the message to the drop location.

In a few days, Weller had convinced McKinley that they needed enhanced security measures set up around the perimeter of the camp. He and Remy would set up these security posts safely away from the drop spot, and leave the note for Shepherd before they returned. Kurt was certain no one suspected a thing.

After setting up the security monitoring stations, they had just made the drop and were headed back to the barracks when their SUV hit something that sent it rolling over, tossing them with disproportionate force given their somewhat limited speed. Kurt flew from the vehicle, his body being tossed aside as he landed in a nearly frozen pond. He actually crashed through a thin layer of ice, sending shards scattering like glass. Although Remy's heart stopped, she reacted immediately just like she'd been trained.

She ran to the pond, watching as his hand emerged from the water looking for something to use to pull himself out. She grabbed his outstretched hand, yanking him from the water as his clothes sloshed against the ground. He sat up, coughing, and he was already shivering. She grabbed his face as soon as the coughing ceased, checking his pupils as best as she could in the dim light. "I'm fine," he tried to say reassuringly.

She ran to the SUV, which was still on its side. In the back there was a small emergency kit. She found a few tarps and an emergency warming blanket. Kurt was slowly walking toward her, clearly shaken up. She instructed him to climb through the window, which was at the top since the vehicle was on its side, and wait in there. He was fully prepared to argue, but she ordered with more authority than he'd ever possessed, "Get in the damn SUV. You will freeze to death."

She helped him climb in and she dropped down next to him a few seconds later. His lips were blue and he was shivering so much that his hands were shaking while he tried to rub his own arms to warm up. The wind rushed through the broken windows and swirled around them, enhancing his chill. She took his shirt off before he could even protest, wrapping her jacket as far around his shoulders as it could go. Grabbing the thin insulated emergency blanket, she quickly swung it over his shoulders and said, "Wait here. You need to get warm."

Outside, she draped the additional tarps over the vehicle, covering any broken windows to cut down on the drafts that would steal their heat. She used a collapsible shovel to scoop mud and snow around the bottom of the vehicle to hold the tarps in place and provide the back section where he was resting with a little more insulation. When she was satisfied that the shelter was good enough to withstand the night, she went back in, carefully securing the tarp-roof behind her.

She lit the lantern that was part of the emergency kit, and could see him propped in the corner. Kurt's eyes were closed and his head back, and when she shined the light closer to him, she didn't like the bluish color of his skin. "Kurt," she yelled, tapping his face. "God, you're cold. Stay awake."

He was still shivering as she called the camp. She promised to hike a few miles closer, under the guise that it was safer and simpler for the rescue team, but mostly she wanted to get back to where they should have been, far from the drop site. McKinley told her he would send a rescue team out in the daylight rather than risk a second accident if they could survive the night. After assuring him that they'd be fine until morning, she hung up. Kurt half-joked, "Maybe McKinley's hoping we'll die out here in the cold."

"If he is, he's completely underestimating us."

"Do you think he knows we're suspicious?" Kurt chattered.

"Probably." She took off her shoes, pants and socks because they were wet and muddy, then unwrapped his blanket. Climbing in with him as quickly as she could, she sat up beside him and scowled, "You're still soaked. We need to get you dry."

Getting up again, she took off her tee shirt and stood there in her bra and panties. He politely looked away until she tossed her shirt to him and said, "Get the rest of your clothes off and dry with this as best as you can. She turned away and said, "I won't look."

Since she wasn't running around anymore, she realized how cold it was. After a minute, she could hear the blanket crinkle and he mumbled, "Done."

She dashed back under the waterproof blanket, wrapping it as tightly as possible around their bodies, leaving only their heads uncovered. Reaching out and putting her hat on his head, she said, "That'll keep a little more heat in."

The blanket was not soft or comfortable, more like an insulated grocery bag, but with both of them inside, the temperature began to rise. He was rubbing his hands together under the blanket, trying to warm his fingers, but his face was still red from exposure and cold. "Here," she offered, moving closer and wrapping her arm around his shoulders and turning him. Her arms cradling his body, she pulled his face to her neck where he buried his frozen nose against her. "Better?" she asked.

He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and sticking his fingers under his arms to reheat them. After several minutes, his shivering slowed. "You still alive?" she asked, only half-joking.

He nodded, his nose brushing against her neck, "You're so warm," he complimented. "Thank you," he added, earnestly, "I'm sure this is uncomfortable for you."

She answered calmly, "It would be a lot more uncomfortable if you died."

"I just mean…I know you don't like people being too close."

After a long hesitation, she said, "It's not the same. I trust you. I think."

He sat up once he was a bit warmer, seeing that her face now looked red, probably with the beginnings of frostbite, so he offered, "Your turn."

"That's okay."

"Remy, you look like Rudolph over there." He patted his shoulder in invitation, so she moved closer. He had to lean down so she could bury her face between his neck and shoulder, but she sighed as she did because it felt so nice.

She felt his fingers, astounded by the chill that still existed, so she started to rub them between her hands. Their bodies gradually crept closer and closer. The simultaneous warmth and comfort was so soothing and pleasant, and, as she cuddled there, she realized she'd never been so close with anyone for so long. She could feel her eyes soften as she lifted her head and found him looking at her.

The sensation of being so close without feeling the usual revulsion was a curious one, and the longer they were there, the more she started to accept that she actually liked the feeling of him. She knew she was falling for this man, even though she felt foolish and childish for even allowing such a thought to cross her mind. Remembering their kiss a few weeks earlier, she started to internally lament that she'd broken it off. On impulse, she lifted her chin, bringing her mouth toward his. As his eyes bored into hers, but before their lips made contact, he touched her face with his slightly-chilled fingers and said, "I really want to kiss you. But if it makes you uncomfortable and you decide to run off…we're both going to be really freakin' cold."

She smiled at him and replied, "So I guess I have to stay here."

"At least until they come get us tomorrow. Anyway, I know you want things between us to stay uncomplicated."

"Maybe it doesn't have to be complicated. What if I tell you I won't run off?"

"It depends on whether or not I believe you," he replied calmly. Her head swam and her face actually felt warm. "If I did believe you…," he repeated, thinking. He approached slowly, his eyes fixed on hers the entire time. As he came closer, she felt her heart racing, hoping that this wasn't just a joke.

He smiled so softly, giving her ample time to turn away, but finally bringing their lips together. Holding there for only a moment, his lips caressed hers gently, barely moving, and then he pulled away, his eyes refocusing on hers. Her hesitation flew by the wayside as she instigated the next kiss, dispensing with any uncertainty and crushing her mouth to his. All traces of caution evaporated into the unknown.

As his arms encircled her body and pulled her close, she could feel excitement emanating from him while their kiss depended. She looped a leg over his lap, the blanket around them crinkling, unnoticed. Kurt leaned back a little, bringing her body against his while he paused this kiss long enough to take a breath. She crossed her arms over her head, grabbing her bra in an attempt to yank it from her body.

He put his hands over hers and said, "I can't even tell you how many times I've thought about this."

"Me too," she smiled, prepared to finish removing the garment.

"Wait," he interrupted. "I want this so bad. I really do. But this isn't right."

"Why?" she asked enticingly, her fingers finding his chest and dragging downward until she wrapped them around his sex.

"God," he groaned, his eyes closing while she slid her fingers over the soft, suede skin. She stroked carefully, exploring his growing thickness and length.

"Does that feel good?" she whispered into his ear.

"So good," he barely managed to reply.

"I want you," she rasped, and suddenly he shook his head and stilled her hands.

"Not like this," he answered, his stomach muscles twitching as she tightened her grip and pumped.

"Why?" she asked when she realized he was serious, letting go of him, her sense of hurt obvious as she prepared for rejection.

"Don't be mad," he immediately said, his hand moving to her face and caressing her cheek. "Believe me, I'd love to do this with you. I still want to."

"So do this with me," she replied, her lips moving against his as she spoke.

"I want your first time to be…you know…better than this."

"What's wrong with this?"

"You deserve better. You deserve to be treated right."

"It doesn't matter where or when or how it happens. I don't need candles or silk sheets. None of those details matter. The only detail that matters to me is who it happens with."

"And you're okay with it being me?"

She nodded and said, "I'm not just okay with it. It's what I want. You might be the only man I trust enough. You know me. I never let down my guard. But with you…there's just something about you that makes me feel…different." He seemed to be mulling it over, looking away from her because he couldn't possibly say no while looking at her. "Plus," she added, "I am so incredibly attracted to you."

"You are?" he smirked.

"Mm-hmm," she answered. "You have great eyes."

"You too."

"And soft, sexy lips," she said as she kissed his mouth. "And such an amazing body," she added, her hands feeling his chest and abs. "And this…," she murmured, her hands slipping back down to his growing erection, "So thick and hard."

"You're killing me," he sighed, his hands wrapping around her ass and massaging the flesh. He was so swept away.

"Plus the government gave us experimental birth control…might as well make it useful," she joked.

"It's either birth control or a kill switch," he teased back, kissing her collarbone since not touching her was becoming impossible.

"Would you really let me die without ever trying this?" she questioned.

Her fingers tightened around his shaft, and he pulled her hands away. "That would be pretty cruel of me."

"Tell me what to do," she whispered, and his brain started to explode.

"I'll show you," he offered his voice low and gravelly with desire.

He took her arms and wrapped them around his neck, kissing down the flat of her chest to her breast as he took off her bra. His teeth grazed her nipple before his tongue flicked over the turgid peak. He wished he could see her naked before him, her whole beautiful body in front of him, but for now he'd have to explore her with other senses.

One hand on the small of her back, his other moved between her thighs, his knuckle parting her folds. Her slit was slick and warmly welcoming, his finger brushing her swollen clit as her short nails dug into his shoulders. He pressed a finger into her opening, wanting to be sure she was ready for him. He was turned on beyond reason, honored that she would want him to be her first, and completely smitten. He'd long since forgotten being flung from the car, being cold and frozen, because he was in her arms.

She was getting close just from their foreplay, and he figured her body would adjust to him more quickly if she was still chasing her climax. He pulled her forward as he leaned back just a little more so he could finally go inside her. "Are you sure?" he asked one more time. "If you want me to stop, all you—"

"I know," she smiled reassuringly. "Now would you hurry up and fuck me, soldier."

He grinned back at her with a quick kiss as he mumbled, "Yes, ma'am."

He guided himself into her body, pushing the engorged tip through her entrance before he paused. She didn't cry out or even flinch, her eyes softly closed. "Relax," he said, feeling the tension in her body, his hands caressing her sides and back, and when she did as he'd suggested, he moved just a little deeper into her.

Waiting was exquisitely painful pleasure, so he bit his lip as he tried to calm his rushing desire. He was there, with Remy. His Remy. She was simultaneously tight and slippery, almost too tight, and it drove him wild with need. When he was sheathed completely inside her, their bodies pressed together, he gently kissed her before he used his hands to lift her from his body until he was almost completely out, and then carefully brought their bodies back together. After a few times, she started to really relax, and he could see that she was beginning to feel the pleasure of their union.

"You okay?" he asked when she started to gasp softly, his hands guiding the movement of her hips.

"It feels good," she shuddered, "don't stop yet."

"I won't," he answered before he rolled her under him.

It wasn't simple, the blanket scrunching around them as they were trapped in the constraints of the vehicle, not that either of them really noticed anything but each other.

Now that she seemed to be accustomed to him, he kissed her neck and shoulders, his hands finding her breasts as he was able to really start to move. He was making love to her, bringing her body steadily higher, and then she was writhing, her hips rising to meet him, her hands grabbing his ass to pull him into her. She didn't need instruction, her body knew what to do and how to chase ecstasy, how to counter to each of his moves.

For a second, he thought that maybe he wouldn't just be her first. Maybe he could be the only man she was ever with. Maybe she could be, in every way, his. He didn't know why, but something about that was so erotic that he had to stop considering it. Maybe he was losing his mind.

He closed his eyes, using his weight to press down on her to make sure her pleasure spot wasn't neglected. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold on. With a sudden jerk, she clamped down around him, her inner muscles squeezing as her back arched, and he was done, his senses overloading as he rocked their bodies together a few more times to the sound of the final gasping breaths of her orgasm.

She pulled him down on top of her with a vise-like grip, refusing to let him leave and unable to move. He was still nestled inside her, her body pulsing slightly. "I didn't expect that," she told him as her fingers stroked the back of his head.

"Didn't expect what?"

"I didn't expect it to be that good."

"Thanks, that's very flattering," he sarcastically replied, chuckling.

"I didn't mean because of you. I just didn't think anyone's first time was very…you know…good."

"So it was good?" he asked with a cocky smile. "You liked it?"

"Like you need to ask. Think maybe we could try it again some time?"

He was simultaneously happy that she was already thinking about the next time and worried that she would even consider the possibility that there wouldn't be a next time. "I hope so," he replied, sounding more insecure than he liked. "I feel like I at least earned one more try."

"I'll get better," she answered.

"You were perfect," he insisted.


They fell asleep entangled, the crinkly blanket still wrapped around them, faces buried against each other's necks to try to stay warm. They put on whatever dry clothing they had, but she was far more dressed than he, and her clothes didn't fit over his larger frame.

Remy wasn't sure how long she'd been sleeping, but when she heard the tarps that covered the SUV rattle with more force than they would have from the wind that blew past, she startled awake just in time to see a pair of tightly laced military boots drop into their shelter.

"Shepherd!" Remy practically yelled, feeling Kurt protectively grab her and try to move her behind him. "I'm fine," she assured him.

He stared with disbelief as he asked the intruder, "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"It's good to see both of you," Shepherd said, offering a perfunctory hug to her daughter and a handshake to Kurt, who remained under the blanket because he was less dressed than his companion.

"You knew Kurt?" Remy asked.

"You think I'd send you here without someone to watch your back?"

With a sense of betrayal, Remy looked at Kurt and said, "You were ordered to look out for me?"

"No!" he earnestly shook his head. "I had no idea you were even joining the squad. I swear. And once you came, I had no idea who you were."

"From the moment I met him, I knew you'd get along," Shepherd assured.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on here?" Remy demanded. "Clearly something's going on."

"We'll have time for campfire stories another day," Shepherd responded coolly. "For now, there are more important issues at hand. Your squad is on their way to get you, so we don't have much time."

"How do you know that?" Weller asked.

"Like I said…story time will have to wait. I need you to listen. McKinley is on to you. Your little accident was no accident. You need to watch your backs."

"That doesn't make sense," Kurt argued, "we're all on the same side."

"I thought we were, too. We're not," Shepherd asserted.

"McKinley's dirty?" he asked.

"This is a lot bigger than McKinley. Orion is not what I thought it was. You are both in danger."

"Then what is it?" Remy asked.

"It's not safe for you to know too much. I need you to go back and act like everything is okay. I'm going to arrange to pull you both out of there, but I need time."

"What about the squad?" Kurt asked. "I can't just leave them behind."

Shepherd impatiently responded, "After I get the two of you out, we'll work on going back for the rest of them. For now, I need you to try to get your hands on some things in medical. There are a number of vaccinations, and an implant that they're planning on testing on all of you."

"Like this?" Remy asked, showing Shepherd the bump under the skin of her upper arm.

"Shit," Shepherd replied. "I was hoping to get to you before you got them."

"What is it?" Weller asked worriedly.

"Control," Shepherd said. "They want control over their soldiers. I have to go. You'll hear from me soon with an extraction plan. It is critical that you act as if everything is normal. Follow orders. Get me any of the vaccines or implants that you can get your hands on so we can figure out what else they're giving you. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," they both answered automatically.

"Remy, can you come with me for a minute?" Shepherd asked.

"Sure," Remy answered. Looking at Kurt, she promised. "I'll be right back."

They stepped a few feet away from the SUV, and Remy realized how warm it had felt in their little shelter all alone. Pulling Remy from her distraction, Shepherd asked, "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"No. Why?" Remy asked, feeling the ache in her body that reminded her of exactly how close she and Kurt were only a few hours earlier.

"Are you and Weller…involved?"

"His clothes were just wet. We were—"

"I don't mean physically." Shepherd assured. "That doesn't matter. As long as there's nothing more to it."

"What?"

"Are you going to pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about?"

"Why would that matter?"

"Remy, I'm just looking out for you. Weller is a great soldier. One of the best. But—"

"You said you knew we'd get along, so what's the problem?"

"I thought you'd be smarter than this. Emotions can cloud your judgment."

"My judgement is not clouded," Remy argued, staring resolutely.

"Sometimes tough choices need to be made for the good of the cause. And we can't let anything get in the way."

"What are you talking about? I won't betray him and I won't leave him behind."

"I'm not asking you to leave him behind. Be a good soldier. Don't let your heart get involved. You're my strong, rational, logical daughter. Emotional decisions are not good decisions. Remember that," Shepherd said. "Stay focused." With a smile, she added, "That's an order."

Shepherd had had her hands full with young Remy when she'd first adopted her. She had to impose strict rules, and often ran her home with military precision. Remy quickly grew to respect Shepherd, more as a leader than as a mother. Although Shepherd cared for her children, she wasn't much more adept at love than they were by the time she took them in. Once Shepherd had finally won the girl over, Remy always listened to her orders.

"Yes, ma'am," Remy finally answered, the two hugging quickly and stiffly before they parted.

"You'll hear from me soon."

Remy slipped back into the SUV and said, coldly, "We gotta hike out to the meeting spot."

"Hey?" he asked, noticing immediately that she seemed different.

"What?" she responded, almost robotically.

"Don't you 'what' me?" he teased, pulling her back on his lap. "We'll get through this. We'll be okay," he said, rubbing her neck with his thumb as he held her. "Shepherd will get us out of here. You can count on that."

She pulled away, her eyes staring downward because she was resolved to detach as she'd been ordered to do. "We should go."

"Talk to me," he requested, clearly not ordering.

Her eyes darted up to his and she said, "I like you," as if she was admitting to some fault.

"Good. I like you too. A lot."

She smirked almost shyly and said, her fingers sliding over his heart, "Last night…was fun."

He nodded slowly, "Very, very fun."

"You were right."

"About what?"

"About earning at least one more time," she whispered, reaching down into the blanket. "I don't know when we'll have time alone again. Think you're up for it?"

"You might be able to convince me," he said, lying down flat and pulling her to him.

As the warmth of desire and passion spread over her skin and through her very spirit, she stopped kissing him for one moment to look in his eyes, finding the same look returned like a mirror image. For the first time in a very long time, she knew she couldn't obey one of Shepherd's orders. Remy had somehow fallen for the soldier who was staring adoringly up at her.