Yaaay. (Sarcastic) Believe it or not, I've actually put off doing this fanfic because I had absolutely no idea what to put for this chapter. But I watched some Muppet Labs to remind myself of the LOLs and here I am, making it up as I go along. Wish me luck!
[Jasmine and Axel are inside Muppet Labs with Bunsen and Beaker. Jasmine appears nervous]
Jasmine: Are you sure about this? A lot of crazy things happen here in Muppet Labs.
Axel: Well, we can back out now if you want.
[Jasmine thinks for a while, then shakes her head]
Jasmine: No, it's important we get everybody, and we might as well get it over with.
[They both walk up to Bunsen and Beaker .Bunsen is tampering with a machine and Beaker is inspecting some pills but not daring to take any]
Jasmine: Hiya Bunsen, Beaker.
Bunsen: Huh? [He looks up and sees the two children] Oh! Hello there.
Beaker: Mee, meep.
Axel: Hey, what're you doing?
Bunsen: Oh, Beaker and I were just testing my latest invention, Buff Pills!
Jasmine: Buff pills?
Bunsen: Yes. They give you huge muscles, and make you appear strong and buff. So if you're ever teased for being a weakling, take these pills and your problems are no more!
Axel: I'm in!
[He reaches for a pill, but Jasmine slaps his hand away]
Jasmine: Not so fast, you.
Axel: Aww, man. Why not?
Bunsen: Your sister's right, Axel. These pills haven't been tested and could have dangerous consequences.
Axel: I'll test them for you!
Jasmine: [sighs and rolls her eyes] My brother, the guinea pig. [To Axel] Maybe afterwards, but first we have something to do.
Axel: Ah, yes! [To Bunsen and Beaker] We're here to interview you!
Bunsen: Interview? Oh I say, what for?
Jasmine: Homework. Presentation of our home. Let's get started! So, your names are…?
Bunsen: Well, I'm Dr Bunsen Honeydew, and this is my eager assistant, Beaker.
Beaker: Mee mee, meep.
Jasmine: And you're scientists, right?
Bunsen: Indeed. We tried to become real inventors in a proper lab, but we kept getting rejected.
Jasmine: Gee, I wonder why.
Axel: I heard somewhere that your inventions never work. Is that true?
Beaker [nods frantically] Mee, meep!
Bunsen: Certainly not! They don't not work; they just don't always go to plan.
Axel: …right. But if your inventions keep…uhh…not working, why don't you give up and try something else?
Beaker: Meep!
Bunsen: Quiet Beaker. Anyway, give up science? Are you mad? That's Beaker's and my dream! Our love!
Beaker [shakes his head] Uh-uh!
Axel: Okaaaay.
Jasmine: You guys are nutters. If I had my way, I'd leave right now.
[There is an awkward silence. Everyone stares at Jasmine]
Jasmine: [sighs] But, no-one said homework was easy, or enjoyable. So, who are your idols?
Bunsen: Idols? Oh, we like Wallace and Gromit, don't we, Beaker?
Beaker: Meep.
Jasmine: OK, why?
Axel: Oh, I see it now! One's stupid, optimistic and bald, and the other one's surprisingly smart but can't talk!
[Everyone stares at Axel. Bunsen looks pretty mad]
Jasmine: Usually I'd tell him off, but I'd say he's pretty accurate on this one. OK, next question-
Axel: [interrupts] Actually Jas, can I ask a question now?
Jasmine: Sure.
Axel [To Bunsen and Beaker] Beaker can't talk.
Jasmine: That's not a question.
Axel: Beaker can't talk?
Jasmine: Still not a question. You've just put a question mark at the end of a statement.
Bunsen: Quite right, and a false statement too. Beaker can talk, just not any English.
Axel: What language does he speak?
Bunsen: How should I know?
Axel: Beakerese?
Bunsen [laughs] Good one, how about Beakerish?
Jasmine: Oh, brother. [she face-palms] Where has this conversation gone? Look, can we wrap this up? I've had enough foolishness. One more question, have you ever invented something and thought, 'I have no idea why I made this' (My sister's request!)
Beaker: [nods frantically] Meep! Meeeeep!
Bunsen: Nothing springs to mind.
Jasmine: Right, well thanks.
[Axel looks at her and flutters his eyelashes]
Jasmine: What now?
Axel: Can I test the pills?
Jasmine: Oh, OK. But if anything goes wrong, I'm blaming it on y-
[She's too late. Axel has downed two of the pills]
Jasmine: I have a feeling this is going to go horribly wrong.
Bunsen: Can I practice what I have to say for the show?
Jasmine: [looks bored] Sure, go ahead.
[Bunsen straightens his tie and clears his throat]
Bunsen: Dr Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs where the future is being made today.
Beaker: Meep!
Bunsen: Now, be honest with me friends, how often have you been teased at school or work for being too weak and weedy? 'Wouldn't it be nice…' you thought to yourself, 'If you could insert some artificial muscles?' Well, now you can! I have just invented a marvellous invention called Buff pills! Here to test them, is my new assistant, Mr Axel.
[Axel walks on holding two pills and waves, grinning madly]
Axel: Am I on TV?
Jasmine: No, and you've been on TV before you numbskull. It might go on YouTube…
Axel: Hi Mum!
Bunsen: Now Axel, slowly take those pills one at a time. Here's some water for you.
[He hands Axel a glass of water and turns to the camera]
Bunsen: Now, by taking these pills, Axel here will no longer be called a chicken, because he is in fact…
Jasmine: A cow?
[Bunsen, Beaker and Jasmine stare at Axel, baffled. Axel has indeed turned into a Friesian cow]
Jasmine: A cow… A COW?!
Bunsen: Oh, the pills seem to have malfunctioned.
Jasmine: Malfunctioned?! You've turned my brother into a cow! A COW!
[Beaker looks startled and scarpers. Axel the cow isn't bothered by his sister's panic]
Bunsen: Miss Jasmine, please try to contain yourself, you're…you're on camera.
[Jasmine is yelling now]
Jasmine: I DON'T GIVE A STUFF IF I'M ON A STUPID CAMERA! YOU TURNED AXEL INTO A COW! YOU'D BETTER HAVE AN ANTIDOTE! Oh, I just KNEW SOMETHING BAD WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!
Bunsen: Antidote? Oh, well let's see…I wasn't expecting to turn him into a cow, so an antidote may take a while…
Jasmine: A while! A WHILE! YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T GOT ONE?
Bunsen: Not exactly, no.
[Jasmine is furious. She starts smashing up all the machinery in the room, breaking everything in sight]
Bunsen: Um, that's all from Muppet Labs…oh, I say!
[Kermit hears the commotion and comes running]
Kermit: What on earth is going on in here? Dr Bunsen, have you been magnifying bacteria again?
Jasmine: AXEL'S TURNED INTO A COOOOOW! AND IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!
[She points at Bunsen]
Kermit: A cow? [He spots Axel] Oh boy. [To Bunsen] Isn't there anything you can do?
Jasmine: No, it's hopeless. He's hopeless. It's not fair!
[Jasmine starts crying. Kermit hugs her]
Kermit: There, there. Now don't work yourself into a passion, we'll figure something out. Stuff like this always happens, but we always find some way out of it.
Jasmine: I'm done. I'm sooooo done; I'm not doing it anymore.
Kermit: What aren't you doing?
Jasmine: This. [she gestures around] I'm giving up on this dumb interviewing lark.
Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that, Jasmine. Sorry, this chapter was meant to be funny and I got carried away. I'll find some way to bring Axel back in the next chapter because next time, it's the interview you've all been waiting for (probably) Kermit and Miss Piggy!
