I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!! I know it was a long, long time since I updated, and I'm really really sorry!!! I didn't mean to take so long! It's just there were things going on, and stuff and....things!!! Alright, alright, um, I'm back now, and yeah. I'm back. Newest chapter up, and I swear I'm working on Bloodbath as we speak (read)! I am, I really am!

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. Boo hoo.

Warning: Just shitloads of angst in here XD


Chapter Eleven
Hospitals and Buttery Surprise Talk

(Craig's P.O.V.)

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Craig held his head in his hands as a slow beeping resonated around the white room, one of the few signs of life left from the slender figure on the bed. Looking up for a moment, he caught sight of closed eyes and pale skin surrounded by tubes, and he hid his face again, unable to bear the sight. He sighed. Oh God...

He'd hated having to leave Tweek all alone on the street, so he'd pleaded with Victor to let him off this time. The club was full and completely crowded, but Vic agreed almost immediately. (He was a secret romantic on the inside.) Craig was out of there in a second, racing out the back to find Tweek. It wasn't that long ago that Tweek called, he could probably find him and catch up to him.

He'd felt nothing but terror when he did see him. Running as if the devil was chasing him, screaming blindly, Tweek found him instead. Tweek was blind, crying, bleeding from what looked to Craig to be knife slashes. Craig was frozen as Tweek clutched onto him jacket, staining the front with blood and assaulting his nose with the sour scent of bile. Craig could only grip his arms as the blonde collapsed onto his knees, still keeping a tight hold on his jacket.

"Help me..." Came the whimpered plead. "Help m-me, I s-still feel them, th-they're coming for me..."

Craig was paralyzed. What had happened to him? What had happened to his little Tweek?

"Y-you said...th-they wouldn't...hurt me a-anymore. Y-you promised." More tears poured down his red cheeks, his tone damnably accusing. Then came the final blow to Craig's heart.

"You lied."

Craig opened his mouth to say something, anything, but then Tweek's eyes rolled up in his head and he slumped forward in Craig's grip. There was silence.

"Tweek?"

Craig lifted Tweek's head; the blonde didn't respond.

"Tweek? Tweek, answer me."

Nothing. And then Craig noticed something that made his mind blank out and shattered his entire world. Tweek wasn't breathing. And putting a hand to his neck, he didn't feel a pulse either.

He shut down. Mind, rational thought, everything. The world was colorless, silent; he moved automatically. Lay him down. Take out your phone. Call 911. His monotone words were performed smoothly. What now? CPR, Craig, remember. Putting his hands over one another, he pressed them to Tweek's ripped shirt, mindlessly acting. Thirty compressions, two breaths. Thirty compressions, two breaths. Over and over again, over and over.

That was how the paramedics found him, still trying to make Tweek breathe. It was only a few minutes; South Park was a small town and everything was pretty close, but to Craig it had felt like forever. They had dragged him away, and it took four of them to restrain his silently resisting body. He didn't want to leave Tweek, even for a second, so he was subjected to the horrible view of Tweek's body jerking twice under the power of the defibrillator, but then came the wondrous cry.

"I got a pulse!"

The ambulance ride had been short, then they took Tweek away from him. Tweek's parents came, but they weren't there long. Craig was the only one waiting when the doctor had come to give them news, and let him in to see Tweek.

Apparently, the psychological pressure of a recent event had been too much for his body to bear, and he'd gone into stress-related cardiac arrest. A heart attack! The kid was seventeen, and he'd had a fucking heart attack!

The doctor had talked about the wounds on Tweek's body, asking whether they were self inflicted, but Craig violently denied it. He knew what would happen if they thought Tweek was hurting himself. The doctor said that the blood loss alone nearly killed him, and cautioned him against any strenuous activity when he awoke.

He'd also warned him about the dangers of oxygen loss to the brain for extended periods of time. The CPR had helped, but there was the possibility of brain damage. Anyways, they wouldn't be able to tell that until he awoke.

But for the two days Craig stayed by his side, Tweek hadn't stirred.

A couple of people had visited. Ruby was one, checking up on her brother and his friend. Stan, Kyle and Kenny had been next, then Wendy, and even that British kid, Pip, who'd left a very nice handmade card decorated with coffee-cup stickers.

He sighed again, reaching out a hand to brush the flyaway golden hair from Tweek's face. A noise caught his attention and he looked up. Butters stood in the doorway, the tall looming figure of Cartman behind him. They came in, Butters handing Craig a small white paper bag with a smile.

"Here y'go. I'ah thought y'might be tired of all th' hospital food, so I'ah baked y'somethin'." he said encouragingly.

Craig opened the bag, peering inside. The sight of warm chocolate-chip cookies greeted his eyes and the scent tickled his nose. He looked up toward Butters. " Am I actually allowed to eat these?"

Butters blushed guiltily and Cartman snorted. "Just eat the fucking cookies, dumbshit. It was your fault last time."

Craig let it go, unable to summon the strength for a smile. Taking a cookie out, he chewed on it methodically, feeling the chocolate melt on his tongue. He knew it was good, extremely good, but he closed the bag, laying it on the bedside table. He didn't feel like eating right now.

Butters looked at him worriedly, whispering to Cartman. "Maybe he's thirsty. Eric, can y'go an' get him a drink or somethin'?"

"And who the hell is gonna pay for it?" Cartman growled.

"You? Please?"

There was a pause, then Cartman sighed. "Fine." Butters beamed at him, going up on tiptoes to give him a peck on the cheek. Cartman muttered something under his breath along the lines of, "I'm so fucking whipped", before leaving the room, digging in his pockets for his wallet. Butters let out a relieved sigh, pulling up a chair next to Craig.

"Sorry. Eric doesn't really know how t' comfort people."

Craig shrugged, keeping his eyes on Tweek. Butters followed his gaze, sighing softly. "He's gonna wake up, y'know."

"I know."

There was a pause where Butters hesitated. "I'ah...I'ah heard it was a...a stress-relat'd heart attack?"

"Yeah."

Butters hesitated again, and Craig knew he was working up to ask what he really wanted to know, why he'd really sent Cartman away.

"Was it...was it because of you?"

Craig's head snapped around to look at the blonde, but his glare seemed ineffectual against the other. "What do you mean?" He growled out. Was he saying it was his fault?!

Butters hesitated yet again, tapping his knuckles together in that nervous habit he'd had since elementary school. He took a deep breath, steadying himself and meeting Craig's eyes resolutely.

"I'ah know you're good friends with Tweek...you have been for awhile now...but y'all don't have th' same classes a lot anymore. I'ah see Tweek in P.E., an' for 'bout two months now, he changes in th' stalls. But I'ah see them sometimes." Butters looked away for a moment, resting his gaze on the sleeping Tweek. "Th' bruises he has on his hips. Fingerprints. Handmarks. I'ah know where they come from."

Craig said nothing. He'd promised Tweek he wouldn't tell anybody, but he'd never expected Butters of all people to know.

Butters went on, "I'ah know it doesn't seem like I'ah should be one t'know, but I'ah do. I'ah know what it's like t'have a...rough boyfriend." Butters blushed slightly at this, before turning his own glare on Craig, and the raven was surprised to see the passion in those ocean-blue eyes. "But Eric at least has th' balls t'admit he's my boyfriend, an' he treats me nice. I'ah know you're not datin' Tweek, otherwise you'd tell people 'cuz you don't really care what people think. I'ah don't know why Tweek is lettin' you do that, and I'ah don't wanna ask him or nuthin', but if I'ah find out you pushed 'im too much and that's why he's here, then both me an' Eric'll kick your ass. Because even Eric thinks rape is disgustin' an' unforgivable, no mater who it is."

The blonde finished his little speech, both of them glaring at each other. Craig mulled it over in his head. Butters already knew he was having sex with Tweek, but he didn't know why. And that he wouldn't reveal. But Butters was wrong; it wasn't his fault that Tweek was like this. He thought he knew who's fault it was, and he burned with fury just thinking about them. He growled inwardly. Butters at least needed to get that straight.

"I won't tell you why Tweek agrees; that's his secret to tell, not mine."

"So you're blackmailin' him?" Butters exclaimed, interrupting him. "That's still rape!"

"I don't hurt him!" Craig snarled. "I'm sorry for being rough, but you just admitted Cartman is too. Cartman is a jackass by nature, and don't think I don't know what he did to you, Kyle told me. I know he's hurt you before. But I've stuck by Tweek since the damn third grade, and he's my closest friend. I've never betrayed him, I've never left him, and I'll burn in Hell before I let that happen."

Butters looked shocked at his sudden vehemence, and Craig took a deep breath. He wasn't used to speaking so much to another person besides Tweek.

"And it's not my fault he's here. I would never send him here. But I'll kill the bastards who did it." He looked at Butters, who was concentrating fiercely on his words. "You remember Brian."

It was a statement, not a question, but Butters nodded anyway. Craig continued, "Someone told them about Tweek, y'know, all the paranoid shit, and somehow they found out where and when I work. They wait until I'm gone, then they catch him. They tell him things, Butters, things that only Tweek would understand. And they drive him insane." He paused, recent events flooding his mind. "I went to go find him so he could go to the store and buy some shit his dad wanted. And I found him crying and screaming about somebody coming for him. They're breaking him, man. They're breaking him."

Butters was silent, his eyes wide in surprise and horror at the revelation. "Oh God, Craig, why didn't y'say something? You know Stan an' Kyle and everybody else'll take your side if you wanna go out and find 'em. Some of us might not really know you, but we all know each other from elementary; we stick t'gether."

"No." Craig growled. "I'll protect him by myself. Tweek is mine, he doesn't need anyone else protecting him."

"Eric is like that too, but even he has people t' back him up." Butters said quietly. Craig said nothing, turning his head to look at Tweek again. The blonde spoke up again, his voice hesitant and a bit apologetic.

"Well, I'ah'm sorry for accusin' you of puttin' Tweek in here, I'ah jus' don't understand why you're sleepin' with Tweek like that. I'ah didn't think he was into th' whole friends with benefits thing. But I'ah guess it's okay, I can see you love him an' all--"

"Love?" Craig repeated, surprised. "What d'you mean?"

Butters looked at him incredulously. "You love Tweek, doncha?"

Craig frowned. He wanted Tweek, yes, wanted to be his everything and anything, wanted him to depend solely on him, but that didn't mean he 'loved' him. Love was a fairy tale that little kids believed in to make their lives easier. He was certain even Ruby didn't love him; she needed him for protection and that's what he gave her. Love was a fantasy, it didn't exist.

Butters stared at him some more, then his expression morphed into one of sadness and pity. "Oh, Craig, don't tell me they took that too..."

"Took what? Who?"

The blonde looked at him with an expression of such sad knowing that Craig had to fight the urge to look away in submission. Butters' voice was solemn. "My dad used t' beat me too, 'til Eric made him stop."

Craig was stunned. What the fuck did Butters not know? How did he know? What the fuck?!

"It takes a lot outta you, doesn't it? An' even though I'ah know y'could take so much more than I'ah could, I'ah know I'ah luckier. At least I'ah know what love is." Butters abruptly stopped, as if he had said too much, looking at Tweek again. Craig didn't know whether he should punch Butters for being so cryptic or beg him to continue. Maybe both.

"Are y' still gonna do it?"

The sudden change in topic startled Craig, and he scowled. "Do what?"

"You know what I'ah mean." Butters frowned. "Th' doctor said no strenuous activity, y'know that. I'ah'm pretty certain sex falls under that category. 'Sides, after all he's been through, don't y'think you should lay off him for awhile? How do y'know how th' sex is affectin' him mentally? This is Tweek we're talkin' about here. And y'did admit you're kinda blackmailin' him."

Craig's scowl grew darker, and he said nothing, but at that moment Cartman appeared in the doorway, a dark look on his face and a coke in his hand.

"Fucking slut thinks I can't understand her illegal ass, stupid bitch." He tossed the coke to Craig, who caught it easily. Craig kept his attention on Butters, and saw the change. Gone was the somber, knowing look that had stared so strangely at him, instead to be replaced by a gentler, freer expression. His eyes brightened and a smile came into being. It was as if the other Butters was merely a memory, a shadow of the happy carefree boy he really was. It was almost like Craig had just imagined the whole thing. He couldn't imagine this Butters saying all the stuff before. And the worst thing was, Craig could tell that Butters wasn't faking it. He really was affected this much by the tall brunet. In that moment, Craig hated the small blonde, envious of the happy look in his eye. Tweek was never affected by him as much.

Butters jumped up and Cartman's eyes were instantly drawn to him, as if he was the only thing he could see. The raven saw that perpetual calculating look soften a little, and his fury flared even higher. How could a sadistic jackass like Eric Cartman possess so much power over Butters? And Butters being willing to all of this? How was that possible?! Why wasn't he capable of doing the same to Tweek?!

"What happened, Eric?" Butters asked. Cartman shook his head, eyes angry again. "Nothing. Stupid wetback nurse talking shit." He looked toward Craig. "You, uh, you alright?"

Craig nodded, trying to put aside his jealous anger as he opened the coke and drank from it. He actually was thirsty. There was a pause, and Butters tugged on Cartman's sleeve.

"I'ah think Craig wants t'be alone now, Eric."

There was a pause as Cartman's eyes flickered to Tweek, then he nodded, waiting as Butters gave Craig a goodbye hug.

"Don't push 'im too far." Butters whispered into the raven's ear. "Bullies can hurt him only so much; it's you who can really break 'im."

Then he pulled back, smiling as Cartman snagged him around the waist, leading him from the room. Craig watched them go, turning his attention back to the unconscious coffee-addict. Butters' words lingered in his mind. Was he really pushing Tweek too much? He had vowed to never betray him, but what if that's what he was doing, by making him do something he hated? Sure, Tweek had admitted it felt good, but hell, just because he could hit that particular spot didn't mean Tweek actually wanted it or enjoyed it afterwards. Craig said he'd never hurt him, but what about that time in the bathroom? He'd made him bleed. He'd hurt him. Every time he fucked Tweek, he was raping him, and the only reason Tweek didn't tell anyone was because Craig was blackmailing him.

"God, I'm so fucking pathetic!" The self-loathing curse hung in the empty air, resonating with the steady beeping of Tweek's heart monitor. This was a mistake. Everything he did was a mistake; it all boiled down to him. It was his fault that Tweek was here, because of his own fucking obsession. That's what it was, right? An obsession!!

Now he had almost killed him! Tweek had trusted in him to keep him safe, and he couldn't even do that. He had failed.

'You lied.'

"Damn it all to hell!" Craig half-snarled, tightening his fists and feeling his nails digging painfully into his palms. Jesus, it hurt, his stomach was in knots and his chest felt like some giant hand had reached in to squeeze his heart. He looked toward Tweek, gently taking his hand.

He couldn't do this anymore. He didn't want to hurt him.

"I'm sorry, Tweekers." He looked down, his voice low.

"I won't take advantage of you anymore. I promise."


A/N: There you go. I think the next chapter will be longer, okay? So, um, I'm glad so many or you read my weird stories I uploaded in the past couple of days. 'Twinky Fun' anyone? XD

Craig: Oh yeah, that was a good vacation.

Kenny: Fuck yeah!! That was awesome! I finally got an actual part in something nice and not insanely angsty!

Me: Oh come on, it's not that bad...

Kenny: Yeah it is, man. Hello, 'Bloodbath'?

Me: ...it's not so bad in the others...

Kenny: But those aren't up yet!!

Me: Whatever.

Craig: Y'know, whatever happened to that video?

Me: It's in my private collection (sly grin)

Craig: Pervert.

Butters: Hi!!!

Kenny: Butters!!! (glomp)

Cartman: Get off him, white trash bitch!

Kenny: Neva!!!

Butters: O/////O

Me: So, Butters, great performance back there.

Butters: I'ah know, right! I'ah was so good!

Cartman: You're too fucking cute for your own good.

Butters: O/////O Thanks, Eric.

(Cartman drags Butters away from Kenny to fuck him madly somewhere)

Kenny: Aww, dammit, he took the cutie away.

Craig: This is getting too long.

Me: Yeah, I might put in an omake chapter at the very end just to get it all out.

Craig/Kenny: Sweet.

Lol, how many of you were surprised by Butters and all the insanely weird hints toward his life and what's happened to him? How many of you were like, OMG, how does he know?!!?!? Lol, review please!!