HISTORY REPEATED CHAPTER ELEVEN
CATE
Lux was barely conscious, there was a large tarpaulin looking thing hiding the horror movie worthy scene below. I never was good with blood, the doctors were working so hard for us, and it made me so grateful.
"Hey Honey." I whispered, blinking back the tears, Lux smiled weakly up at me although she could barely keep her eyes closed.
I stroked her face, there was a lot of noise coming from behind the tarpaulin, and I tried my best to shut it out. This was my time with Lux.
"Lux, I need you to know that whatever you decide to do after this baby is born is alright by me okay? You have no idea how much I've regretted what I did, and that's probably because I feel like it wasn't my choice, I don't want you to feel like I did for sixteen years, I love you so much Lux." I whispered to my daughter. She reached her arms up to hug me.
"Thanks Cate." She whispered drowsily. I nodded and let her fall back onto the bed.
"The baby's almost here, you're going to be a mom in about five seconds." The doctor called from a few feet away. I took Lux's hand and squeezed it. Her eyes were screwed up but a tear escaped and ran tracks down her cheek.
"Cate?" She asked suddenly quite awake.
"Yeah, honey?" I replied, stroking her hand with my thumb, that's what I'd done when she was sleeping in the small amount of time I'd had with her when she was born.
"Were you scared?" She whispered, her eyes stayed closed and I could barely make out what she said.
"When I had you?" I asked, and she nodded. It made me cringe to think back to that day because in all truth it had been the core of all my problems then on.
"I was so scared Lux. I had no one to stand by me, I didn't have a mom who'd hold my hand or a dad who'd drive me up to the hospital but what scared me most was you. I didn't know about babies and I just knew you'd be so perfect and I thought I couldn't look after you so I scared myself. It's okay to be scared." I said, she didn't respond but I knew she heard me.
Suddenly, out of the blue, I heard a baby cry, Lux's eyes snapped open and her mouth dropped, I don't think she'd been expecting that.
"That's your baby!" The nurse cooed I beamed at the thought. Lux on the other hand looked shaken.
"Did you hear that honey?" I asked, stroking her head. She was becoming unresponsive and it was worrying me.
"Lux, you need to take deep breaths, your heart rates going up a bit too high, a nurse is just cleaning up your baby, they'll bring the baby through in a second, just think of that, keep calm." The nurse said coming back from the other side of the curtain. She looked at me then to Lux and back to me, I just shook my head. She nodded and I think she understood what I meant. Lux wasn't ready to see the baby yet. It had all come round all of a sudden and she needed to be alone to be ready.
"Lux? Lux?" The nurse said suddenly as I heard a frantic beeping noise. "Lux take deep breaths, can you hear me Lux?" My daughter's eyes were drooping and her mouth went slack.
"Baby, Lux, what's wrong?" I said, half to Lux and half to the nurse. There were hushed voices and the baby was crying. All i wanted was to stay with Lux and make sure her baby was okay.
"Miss Cassidy, you're going to have to leave now, your daughter will be okay, we just need more space though so you're going to have to wait outside." The nurse took my hand and frogmarched me from the room. I didn't take my eyes off of Lux as another doctor put ventilation mask on her face.
LUX
I woke-up slowly, there was a bright light hitting my eyes. It made me blink quickly then I heard something that really startled me, it was a baby crying. Noise was coming in at me from all angles,
"Cate, Baze?" I mumbled into the light.
"Hey kiddo, how are you feeling?" Baze squeezed my hand from somewhere on my left, "We thought we'd lost you for a second there." Baze whispered, his hair was a mess and his voice sounded choked.
"Where's Cate?" I asked everything came into focus, I could see Baze's face clearly and he looked like he'd been crying, he had one hand on mine but the other was rocking a small bundle.
I took my hand away from Baze's and moved to sit up, it made my head spin.
"No, no don't try to sit up, you need to rest." Cate said as she came in the door. She stood next to Baze, her arm instinctively went around his shoulders and he looked up at her. I was jealous, it was like they were experiencing what I should've been doing at that time.
"What happened to me in there, will either of you answer that?" I asked angrily, it was frustrating me that they wouldn't let me hold my baby or even sit up.
"Lux, your heart went into overload, it was going so fast that you fainted. The doctors say you'll be fine but they want to keep you in here for a night or so okay?" Cate answered sternly, from what I remembered she'd changed a lot since we'd been in the operating theatre. It was so fuzzy I could barely remember the baby's first cry.
I didn't know my baby I'd never held it, I didn't even know the gender.
"I want to hold my baby." I said simply. Baze nodded, ignoring Cate's steely glare. Then it hit me, she didn't expect me to keep it. She thought I'd give it up, that I wouldn't be able to be a mom. She didn't know me at all.
Baze put the baby in the cot next to me and helped me straighten out the pillows so I could sit upright. I looked down at my baby; it was so tiny, so perfect. It had dark hair, like Baze's but my nose and Bug's big eyes. Bug, had anyone called him. Even if he was a complete douche he still needed to know he had a kid.
Baze picked up my baby and handed it to me slowly and carefully.
"This," He said, "is your son." Baze smiled and as soon as I was holding my baby i knew that nothing could compare to how I felt right then.
A/N: To be honest that's the easy bit over for Lux dont you think? There is going to be lots of hard work ahead of her!
I took some time considering what the baby's gender should be, the reasons for this will be shown later on :)
So how do you think everyone else in the 'Cassidy-Bazille' family will react when they hear there's a new baby?
Name suggestions please? I came up with a complete blank so anything is welcome, the wilder the better. Something with a Latin meaning like Lux's would be good do you think?
Thanks for the reviews and PM's they mean so much fantastic readers (:
