The Net: Dog: Chapter 11
Jacob sat in the back of another police cruiser as he was driven to the Chicago Hospital of Mental Health once again the following week. Dr. Vecchio had called earlier that day and invited him over for dinner, explaining that he was to have dinner with Angela. The good doctor had had nurses attempt to teach Angela how to use utensils and eat properly but they'd failed. He wanted to see how Jacob would do. To watch them interact again to see if there was any hint of past abuse from Jacob, and also to see if Jacob could indeed teach her to eat more successfully than his nurses.
When he arrived there was a small square table set up in an otherwise empty room just down the hall from Angela's white padded room. Two chairs had been placed at either end. Two sets of silverware accompanied two napkins and two full glasses of water. The doctor told Jacob to have a seat and he would bring Angela out in a few minutes.
When he brought her in she looked unsure of herself. She'd showered not even an hour ago and her hair was still wet. But it didn't matter to him. Even in his over large pajamas on her small frame she was still the woman he'd fallen in love with so many years ago. He knew this was a new setting for her, and knew it would be awkward for both of them.
When she sat down the doctor nodded at Jacob and left as a nurse brought them each a plate of macaroni and cheese along with peas and green beans. Food Angela probably hadn't had in three years. It would be near impossible and messy to eat the pasta with her fingers so there was no way the Praetorians would allow that on her menu.
"Dessert will be out when you're ready," the nurse said before leaving them alone, closing the door on her way out.
Angela looked up from her plate of food to Jacob sitting across from her.
"Hi," he said, not knowing what they should talk about, or if he should just dig in and start eating. She was still thin, but she looked a little better than the last time he'd seen her. She wasn't as pale anymore and some bruises had disappeared all together. He was happy for that. She no longer had bandages around her wrists too. Now he could clearly see the stitches it had taken to sew up her deeply cut skin, could see the scar tissue that had finally begun to grow.
"Hi," she whispered, still looking unsure of the whole situation.
"It's ok," Jacob told her. "I know you haven't done this in awhile, but you'll catch on quickly. Just follow me and do what I do."
Jacob picked up his fork and stabbed a few pieces of macaroni and cheese and ate them. Angela watched him before looking down at her utensils and studying them a few seconds before selecting the fork. She held it as if she was holding a knife and about to stab something. She attempted to get some pasta onto her fork but it hit the edge of the plate and slipped from her sweaty grip. She looked up at Jacob and then back down at her plate in shame.
"Here, hold it like this," Jacob held up his fork to show her.
She shook her head. He got up and went around the table to stand behind her. He picked up her fallen fork and gently took her right hand in his and positioned the utensil correctly in her hand. She carefully watched his movements as he proceeded to take her hand with the fork and scoop up some of the macaroni and cheese.
"See, it's not that hard," he said, letting her hand go as it stayed in the air, holding the fork with the pasta on it.
Some of the piled high pasta fell off, back onto the plate. She quickly shoveled the rest into her mouth before dropping the fork back to the plate and chewing, thoughtfully, savoring the food she hadn't had at the mansion.
Jacob went back to his seat and picked up his fork, but he didn't take another bite. Instead, he watched Angela struggle to get the hang of her fork. This was one thing he couldn't understand. How could someone forget how to eat with utensils? But then, he hadn't been trapped with the Praetorians for three years forced to eat with his hands crappy food that probably shouldn't even go to the birds. He could only be patient with her, take his time, and help her out the best he could.
Thinking about it, he'd ended up staring at his own plate for a few seconds. The clatter of a fork meeting a plate brought his head up with a snap.
"I can't do this!" Angela cried out before abruptly standing up and knocking her chair to the floor. She turned and ran for the corner of the room where she hugged her knees to her chest and tried to disappear.
Jacob waited only a second before following her to the corner and sitting down beside her. Tears streaked down her face as he turned to face her. He gently brushed them away with his thumb.
"Yes you can. Angel, I know you can do this. It may take a few tries, but you'll get the hang of it. I promise."
Angela shook her head and stared at the ground though she looked like she had something to say.
"Tell me what's wrong," Jacob coaxed. "You can tell me anything. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong." When she didn't respond he continued, "Angel, this is not the Praetorian mansion. You're not going to be punished for saying something. Even if you tell me you hate me and want me to go away and leave you alone. I will do anything you ask. But you have to talk to me."
Without looking at him she slowly began to speak, "It's not just...not just this...it's...everything...I know I wasn't...wasn't always...like this...but...but...I don't remember how I was...I remember knowing you...but not the specifics...I remember having a life...but not what it was..."
"Don't you worry. We'll take baby steps and I'll be with you every step of the way. Eventually you'll be yourself again. It'll be alright. You won't need to face the world until you feel good and ready. Until then, you can drop your fork as many times as you'd like."
A small smile found it's way to her lips and she raised her eyes to his.
"You...you mean it? I...I feel like...like a bumbling idiot..."
Jacob put an arm around her and pulled her close. "Of course I mean it. I wouldn't have said it otherwise. And you're not a bumbling idiot. You're a smart woman. Now, what do you say we find out what's on the menu for dessert?"
"But what about dinner?"
"Who cares. It's probably cold now anyway. And some nice comfort food would be great right about now, for both of us." Jacob stood up. "You stay right here and I'll be right back."
He went to the door and found the same nurse who'd delivered dinner waiting outside with two cups of cold chocolate pudding.
"That our dessert?"
"Yup."
He took them from her and set them on the table. Angela started to get up as he placed a spoon in each cup.
"Stay right where you are honey, the dessert is coming to you," he smiled.
"But...Dr...Ve..."
"Baby steps, Angel. Remember? If it's more comfortable over here because it's what you're used to, you can learn to eat over here instead. Learn one thing at a time. Sitting at a table is overrated anyway and besides, chocolate pudding is more fun to eat and easier."
He gave her one of the cups and she took it in her hands.
"Now, watch me. I'll make this simple and easy."
He grasped his spoon like a baby in a highchair would and spooned chocolate pudding into his mouth. Angela watched him and then did the same, successfully getting most of the pudding into her mouth. A small bit landed on the tip of her nose. Jacob grinned.
"I should have thought to bring a camera," he laughed.
She frowned.
"You've got pudding on your nose," he said, reaching out to wipe it away with his finger.
Angela pulled away, back into her corner, watching him.
Jacob was left wondering what he'd done to upset her.
"I'm...I'm sorry, Angel. I...don't know..."
She only shook her head and looked sadly down at her pudding before setting it down on the floor and wrapping her arms around her knees.
He'd forgotten about everything, about the past three years. What they'd done to her. In one second he'd forgotten. And now she was curled up in a ball in the corner, trying to get as far away from him as possible. All over one simple movement. Just the chocolate pudding on her nose. Nothing more.
Jacob could feel hot stinging tears pricking at his eyes when the door opened with a loud creak. Angela buried herself into the corner and refused to look up. Dr. Vecchio stood in the doorway motioning for Jacob to leave. Slowly the FBI agent put down his pudding and got to his feet. He wanted to talk to Angela so that he wouldn't be leaving on a bad note. But he was sure she wouldn't listen to him. She wasn't even watching him leave as he slowly walked away, his head still turned to face her.
