'Ah!' Robert's voice boomed out as Loras approached the table. 'What a good squire you are, boy!' He told him. Loras could tell it was meant as a compliment but it scared him all the same. It didn't really sink in that he was being addressed by the king. 'I wish mine were that good! I'm stuck with bloody Lannisters!' He laughed loudly at that, Loras could only offer him a weak smile as he approached his lord. Loras helped Renly put his arm around him and managed to get him to stand up properly before he helped him to walk out of the hall. He glanced back to see Thoros of Myr gladly approach the King to continue the drinking. Ash threw Loras a sympathetic glance as he watched him all but drag Renly outside.

'You're so… you're so kind, Loras.' Renly slurred as Loras kicked the door open to the tower their rooms were located in.

'And you're so drunk.' Loras answered dryly. He decided he didn't like Renly when he was drunk, he was difficult. More so than usual. Renly chuckled to himself at that and it seemed to keep him amused all the way up the stairs. Loras was exhausted once they reached the top. He forced the door open to Renly's room and all but dropped him onto his bed. He sat down himself, glad of the rest. He sighed and tried to get his breath back. He was competing in a tourney tomorrow, he shouldn't be using up his strength dragging Renly around!

'Loras.' He heard Renly say as he sat upright. 'Loras!' He tried again when he didn't get a response. Loras rolled his eyes and turned around to look back at his lord.

'What?' He asked flatly.

'You're my squire.' Renly started. Loras only raised his eyebrows. 'So… so you have to do what I say, yes?'

'Yes.' Loras said slowly, getting the uneasy feeling that he wasn't going to like what came next.

'So… so if I tell you to… to close your eyes, you have to do it.' Renly told him, even though he couldn't keep his own eyes focussed. Loras just sighed and nodded.

'Do you want me to? Or are we theorising?'

'Yes, I want you to.'

'Fine.' Loras gave in to him, given his current condition he felt it was better to just agree. He shut his eyes and waited for whatever fate he'd be subjected to next. Why would Renly possibly want him to shut his eyes? Loras couldn't even find the strength to discuss it in his head. He sat there for at least a minute with no explanation. He was about to open his eyes to find out what in the seven hells Renly wanted with him, when he got his answer. He felt lips on his own. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, he was too shocked to react at all. Renly was kissing him. He just about got over the shock enough to realise that he hadn't pulled back. His instinct had not been to run. But before he could think any more or even try to do something, Renly pulled away. Loras opened his eyes, unsure of what he was meant to do, only to find that the reason his lord had pulled away was because he'd lost consciousness. Loras sighed and got up off his bed. He moved the covers over Renly and left him to it. He shut the door and leaned against the wall. The situation finally hit him. Renly had just kissed him. He'd kissed him. There was no question about it at all. And Loras hadn't back away. He kept asking himself why he hadn't pulled back but he already knew the answer. He hadn't pulled away because he didn't want to.

It almost brought Loras to tears to realise it. He wasn't ashamed, it was just a shock. He knew he was trying to fight back those kind of feelings for Renly but he'd always told himself that he had nothing to worry about. He was being stupid. He was kidding himself. It wasn't really a concern. But it was. He knew that now. He knew he must be like Renly. He couldn't fight it back anymore, Alys was right, there was something he hadn't known about himself, but he did now. He couldn't tell himself otherwise. In all honesty, he'd liked it when Renly kissed him. He hadn't stopped him because he liked it. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He knew his life wasn't going to be easy from this point onwards. He'd seen the trouble it was causing Renly and it was going to give him the same problem. What would happen when he was expected to marry? When he became a knight his father would expect him to marry and then what? What would happen when he couldn't do what was expected of him?

He sunk down the wall and crumpled to the floor, a fresh wave of tears escaping his eyes. He didn't know what to do. In his heart he knew he had those kinds of feelings for Renly, but it was getting the courage to say it. Then there was the terrifying thought that Renly wouldn't remember it in the morning and Loras would have to pretend it never happened, if only to save his lord's dignity. Or what if he told him? What if he told Renly what he did but that it was okay? He didn't get the chance to wonder about it anymore as hurried footsteps echoed onto the landing. He quickly wiped his eyes and stood up, just as Lady Amber appeared.

'Is he alright?' She asked breathlessly.

'Fine.' Loras said slowly, wondering why news of Renly being drunk had dragged Amber away from her evening with the queen. 'He's just drunk. He's asleep.'

'Okay.' Amber sighed, evidently trying to calm herself down. 'Thank you, Loras.' He realised her thank you sounded like a dismissal. The kind of thank you that sends a servant out of the room once they've served their purpose. He stared at her, unable to believe Amber would dismiss him like this. They were friends…

'Thank you, Loras.' She repeated indignantly. He nodded sadly and left her without another word. What in the seven hells was Amber playing at? He tried to consider that maybe her night with Queen Cersei hadn't been the easiest experience but he still felt hurt by her words. Besides, what could she possibly want with Renly while he was in that state anyway? He'd be no use to anyone until he'd sobered up.

Loras moodily kicked the door open into the yard outside the hall. It was only lit by a few torches around the edge and what little light the half moon was glowing onto it. He could still make out a figure in the corner of the yard, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. Ash. It brought a smile to Loras' face just to know that at least someone was his friend tonight. He approached him and sat down beside him on the floor.

'Is he alright now? Your lord?' Ash asked quietly.

Loras shrugged, he couldn't even bring himself to care that much anymore. 'He'll be fine.'

Ash nodded and said nothing for a little while but that was fine with Loras, he was just enjoying the company rather than the conversation.

'Can I ask you something?' Ash broke the silence but his tone was hesitant. Loras nodded but it still took Ash another few moments to form his sentence. 'Are you… I mean to say, are you and him… I just mean-'

'No.' Loras answered flatly. He didn't even give a second thought to what Ash meant, he assumed he already knew. On a second thought, Loras realised that Ash could have been asking about anything, but for some reason he knew what he was being asked.

'Oh.' He replied. 'Alright. I just thought… I mean, you're so close…'

'We're friends.' Loras enlightened him a little more. He really didn't feel like elaborating any further into the matter, especially since Ash seemed to be able to pick up on these things.

'So if you're not…'

'Can we not talk about this, please?' Loras tried not to sound angry with Ash, but it was increasingly difficult given how desperately he did not want to discuss this.

'Of course. I'm sorry.' He said, his tone now back to his usual calming voice. 'You don't need to answer this, but just to let you know – it's not as uncommon as you'd think.' And that's where he left the topic. Loras didn't get the chance to comment on it if he'd wanted to, as Ash quickly addressed another issue. 'Are you competing in the tourney tomorrow?'

Loras had to take a moment to adjust to the rapid change in topic before he answered. 'Yes.' He said finally. 'Are you?'

Ash snorted and shook his head. 'Not a chance. I'm not nearly good enough and even if I was, my squire-master would never let me.'

'Who do you serve?' Loras asked him. He knew Ash squired for a Lannister, but he'd never found out which one. There was a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that he already knew.

'Ser Jaime.' Ash replied sullenly. 'He hates me.'

'It's probably because he's jealous.' Loras told him with a grin. It made him feel infinitely better about himself to know that he wasn't the only person who didn't particularly favour Jaime Lannister.

'I doubt that!' Ash let out a laugh. 'I'm useless! He's forever telling me just how useless I am!'

'Either way, I'm sure it's not true.' Loras told him surely. Ash gave him a thankful smile in return. 'Besides, Renly's convinced he's going to be unhorsed by Ser Jaime tomorrow.'

Ash raised an eyebrow. It took Loras a stupidly long time to realise his mistake. He'd called his lord by his first name and without his title. He swallowed and just looked down at his hands.

'You must be very good friends.' Ash said with a smirk. Loras couldn't help but raise a smile at him as he gave him a light push. Ash grinned as he shoved Loras back considerably harder. This became somewhat of a play-fight as they lost track of who's turn it was to hit the other and just started pushing each other over on the floor, laughing. Loras realised he couldn't even remember why they'd started it in the first place, but he found himself not caring about reason. It was only at this point he realised what kind of a situation he'd put himself in. There he was, rolling over the floor with some other squire, lying on top of Ash like it was a perfectly acceptable thing to do. His smile faded as he pulled himself off the floor.

'I… I can't do this.' He stammered. Ash stared up at him from the ground and just nodded in understanding.

'I know.'

He wanted to respond with something, anything, but words failed him. He cast one last glance back before he turned away and went back to his room. He just wanted to be alone now to think things over. He had to remind himself that he was supposed to be competing tomorrow and worrying about all this was not going to help his chances. He lay awake for what felt like hours before eventually sleep found him.

Renly, on the other hand, had been sleeping for hours. He was woken up by the blinding sunlight streaming in from the window. He clasped his hand over his eyes and tried to block it out. He could hardly remember what happened after Robert made him toast to Winterfell. Everything was a mess after that. He had some vague recollection of Loras being around at some point but he had no idea why.

'Rough night?'

He nearly jumped out of his skin on hearing a voice from the other side of the room. He removed his hand from his face, squinting as he saw Lady Amber sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. She raised one eyebrow and smirked.

'Yes.' He mumbled in response, dropping his head back onto his pillow.

'You can't stay in bed all day.' Amber reminded him. He just groaned at the idea of having to compete in the tourney today. His head would be killing him and the fall from a horse might just finish the job.

'What happened last night?' He asked her, forcing himself to at least sit up. She sighed and gave him an uncharacteristically sympathetic look. He swallowed and prepared himself for the worst. Not many things earned an expression like that from Amber.

'Nothing.'

'Nothing?'

'Nothing.' She repeated, resetting her expression. He gaped at her. She'd given him such a look… and nothing had happened? He had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he should be feeling guilty for something. Amber sighed and elaborated. 'You got well into your cups in the hall, Loras dragged you up here and you lost consciousness. And here we are.'

'That's it? I got drunk and Loras brought me up here. That's everything?'

'You were expecting something more?'

'I suppose…' He tried to read her eyes but she was a closed book. 'I feel like I ought to feel guilty about something… I just can't remember what.'

'Maybe you should ask Loras. I was with the queen most of the evening.' And with that she got up, straightened out her dress and made to leave.

'Where is Loras?' Renly called after her. She momentarily turned around.

'I sent him to the tourney ground to get ready. I suggest you do the same.' And with that, she left.