Hey guys! I just wanted to say right off the bat (no pun intended) that this was one of the most fun chapters to type! I'm sure a ton of you have read RedAlerts story "Wally and Dick's Text Messages" (It seems everyone in the YJ fandom has read that story at least twice.) and I know there are a couple of other text message stories based off of RedAlerts, so I got the idea to do one. All the ones I've read have been pretty funny, I just found that a lot of them had the same kinda jokes though, are some of the same prompts (Not that that's BAD just something I noticed ;) ) And I wanted to do what that was a little different. Sooooo about 99% of these are based off of or almost exactly the same conversation My BFF Fantasygirl1329 and I have had! Of course I switched out her and me for Dick and Wally and I used Damian, Tim and Roy in place of any of our siblings or cousins we were talking about, and Bruce, Alfred, Barry or Iris in place of our parents and stuff like that. But I figured you couldn't get much more original then that. XD So I plan on doing several of these, cause we have PLENTY of text messages to go off of. This one ended up being over 2800 words and these were just SOME of our texts from May, 24, 2017-June, 3, 2017. So we have a TON more that I can type later! So let me know what y'all think of this! I hope you like it! (I know you'll get a kick out of it Fantsy) Lol.

IMPORTANT NOTE: So I don't know if any of you read my two-shot "Running Home To Your Beautiful Soul" But I had to delete it from fan fiction because song fics aren't allowed due to copyright issues, and the artist who wrote the song could sue fanfiction and shut it down. So I also had to remove the song lyrics in "I'm Only Human" Two chapters ago on here. So now it's broken up a little weirdly, but once I reread it without the song lyrics if it's to weird I'll rewrite it a little to make it work better. So sorry about all this! And sorry if it's inconvenient to any of you!

Shout Outs!:

Inthenightguest: Thanks! I'm so sorry your week hasn't been great. =( Absolutely! I don't mind at all! You can always come to me if you need someone to pray for you! =) Your welcome, I'm glad this was able to lift yor spirits a little. =) I hope you enjoy this one too! =) And I'll be praying for you! ;)

And without further ado, let's get into the one-shot!


Rating: K+

Time-Line: Season 1 (And after Tim and Damian have been adopted)

Genre: Humor, Friendship

Summery: Friends as good as Wally and Dick are sure to have tons of text conversations. Some of them a little more...Interesting then others...


D: Apparently I'm now the Dark Side.

D: Tim and Damian are throwing a popcorn bag between them (I don't know why) and when I told Damian to throw it to me, Tim said, "Don't join the Dark Side, Damian."

W: Lol.

D: I got the popcorn and hit Damian in the face with it when I threw it. πŸ˜‚

D: Bruce was talking about something that attracts a lot of bees and I asked "what attracts bees?" and Damian said "Tim's grades."

W: Omt Damian...


W: He cheated at Hangman!

D: Dude...how do you cheat at hangman?


D: HA! HA HA! You married ARTEMIS! HAHAHA!

W: Shut up.

W: You are so gonna pay for that one!

D: Ugh.

D: But still...

D: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

W: You're mean.


D: The girls are talking about make-up. We need to talk about something.

W: Food.


D: Oh man. You've had a horrible 24 hours.

W: To quote: "Thank you for summing that up."


W: Ok. But what did I tell you? That Dragon Sassy.

D: He is.


D: *image*

D: Awww, look at this picture of Damian I found while I was cleaning out my "drawer of random papers."

W: Aww

D: That's actually not Damian.

D: It's me.

D: πŸ˜‚

W: You're mean. Wow, the resemblance is uncanny.

D: Lol. I know. I knew I could get you to think it was him. Let me get a picture of both of us at that age, next to each other and I'll send it to you.

D: *image*

W: Woah. You guys could be twins.

D: Ikr?


W: How's the trip been so far? :)

D: Good. I want to go on a hike, but everyone else wants to go fishing. I just have to wait.

W: Weren't we just talking about the other day how you think fishing is boring? Mayne you'll catch a dragon. Or a Haddock. Lol.

D: I really hope I catch a dragon, or a Haddock. =P


W: I just ate a whole package of cookie dough...

W: *image*

D: Dude, how did you not notice that it say "DO NOT CONSUME RAW COOKIE DOUGH" on it?

W: ...


W:*image*

W: Ok, so every time I see this picture of you I think you look like your thinking of pizza or sandwiches or something. Sooooo...yeah.

D: When during the trip did you take that picture?

W: On your birthday. I accidentally took it before you smiled. You smiled for the picture after that, and I got a picture of it, but I couldn't bring myself to delete the other one cause you looked like you were thinking of pizza or something.

D: Ok then.

W: No, I just randomly take picture of you all the time when you aren't looking. =P

D: Now that would be creepy.

W: Lol. Yeah.

D: So what are you doing right now?


W: Idk why but I decided to clean my whole room. Like I went through EVERYTHING in all my drawers, closet, under my bed, everything. Just in a cleaning mood now I guess...so weird...

D: You're welcome to go clean my room.

W: K. Then I'm just gonna go over there now and clean it, after I figure out how to pick the lock...*someone sees me breaking into your house* "Hey! What are you doing?!" "Breaking into my Best Friend's house so I can clean his room! What does it look like I'm doing?!" πŸ˜‚


D: You spell your name Wallace right?

W: Yes. You should know that.

D: I do know that. I just wanted to make sure.

W: Ok.

W: Why did you want to know that?

D: you'll see in a minute.

W: Great. Do I want to know?

D: Yes. Don't worry, it's good.

W: You said that last time...


D: *image*

D: *image*

D: I totally outsmarted Tim at battleship.

W: Wow. That you did.

D: We're playing war now. My luck is horrible.

D: Tough I've won both wars.

W: You've got Wack Luck.

W: Fun. I can see it now. Dick Grayson and Tim Drake. Both won wars at the ages of 14 and 10. Good job.

D: The card game. But πŸ˜‚

W: Ohhhhh. Now you tell me. I was so confused! πŸ˜‚

W: Kidding. I knew it was a card game. =P

D: I know you knew it was a card game.

W: Well I know you knew I knew you knew I knew you knew I knew it was a card game.

D: Now I'm confused.

D: I won again. Tim just can't beat me.

W: Ok maybe he had the Wack Luck. Or maybe both of you have Wack Luck.

D: I guess I have luck in games but not in other things.

W: Yeah. I agree there.

D: Ceiling tile ring a bell?

W: Yeah didn't you have a ceiling tile dropped on your head?

D: Yep.

W: I thought that was you. =D


W: Umm...so I started to type the my essay thas do monday, ane I was up typing it till one in the morning and I read over it this morning and I don't even rememebee hald the snruff I wrote. I knida vaguely rwmember coning up with the idea for the idea for the essay vut I don't even rememver what I wrote and I read ive rit thia moenong and I wa like I wrote all that while I was half a sleep?! Lol. It's actually not a half bad esay...for soeone who wrote it half asleep when they wrote it. πŸ˜‚

D: Wow. That last text had to have the most mistakes ever.

W: *bangs head on table* see? Like the text message tried to say. That's what happens when you're up till one in the morning. Granted I also probably should of typed that when I was more awake...and my eyes were all the way open...and when I was using two hands...

W: Nevermind, you know what? That text was just a disaster waiting to happen. Remind me never to text when I'm half asleep.

D: Well that explains it.

D: Right.

W: Uh huh. So I grabbed my phone and remembered I needed to text you something, and just started texting and I wasn't even really that awake and I was only texting with my right hand, and I was still in bed, and some how I thought it would come out in English.

D: Yeah it was on the border of English but not quite.


D: Right now, Bruce is texting me to ask if I want to walk to where he and the rest of them are. One problem. he's not telling me where they are! Seriously Bruce! If I'm going to walk there, I'm going to need to know where you are! It's just common sense!

W: Lol. Hey Dick, come meet me where I am Got it? "You should reference all your pronouns!"

D: This is why I usually text Alfred.

W: Lol. Yeah Butlers are way more specific. =P

D: I took Bruce to call me to actually tell me where they are. They went fishing, which is a relief because if they went on a hike I would've been really mad.

D: *screenshot*

(Screenshot:)

B: Are you up?

D: Yes.

B: Do you want to walk to where we are?

D: Where are you?

B: Do you want to come? Tim might walk back soon.

D: Where would we go?

B: Tim and Damian are walking back.

D: From where?!

(Screenshot)

D: ^this is what our texts looked like.

W: Lolololololol. πŸ˜‚ Dads.

D: *face palm emoji*


W: I cant' remember where I heard this quote but it's really funny. "The early bird gets the worm." "Yeah but the ealry worm gets eaten."

D: That is a great comeback to when someone uses that expression.

W: Yeah I know right If you don't want to get up early and someone tells you "The early bird gets the worm." you just reply, "yeah but the early worm gets eaten." πŸ˜‚

D: Or when Uncle Barry is late to something if somebody says that to him he could reply with that.

W: XD yeah.


D: We finished our hike and now we have a flat tire. It's really flat.

W: Ugh, that stinks. =/

D: Well, it wouldn't be a Wayne family vacation without car troubles.

W: Trust me. I know about car troubles on trips. *shudders*

D: Texas.

W: Dollhart. Amerilo. Texas. Ugh and that terrifying mouse. 🐭

D: πŸ˜‚

W: 😩


D: *image* (picture of a shirt that says "you have nothing to fear but fear itself. (and bears)")

D: Look at this shirt.

W: Lol.

D: And moose and mountain lions.

W: Moose aren't scary. Mountain lions are very scary though.

D: Well, moose are really big and if one started running at you. You'd be pretty scared.

W: I have superpowers.

D: I mean if you didn't have superpowers it would be scary!

W: Meh, they're not very aggressive towards humans. They're like bees. They're mean if you bug them (pun intended) and if you leave them alone they leave you alone. I mean if a car was heading straight for you that would be scary but cars themselves aren't scary.

D: True, but I just repeated what my family said after seeing the shirt. I read it out loud and then someone else said "and moose" and someone else (pretty sure it was Bruce) said "and mountain lions."

W: Well, moose are like deer's bigger older cousins. And deers aren't scary. =D

D: Yeah but older cousins/siblings can be scary and intimidating.

W: Lol. Why? What did Roy do to you? πŸ˜‚

D: nothing. but he did cut my hair once.

W: Ummm...he cut your hair once?

D: Yeah. When I was like 9. It was messed up for years.

D: Did you seriously not know that?

W: No, how have you not told me about this?!

D: I swear I mentioned it once. Guess not. Whoops.

D: It was kinda a big event.

W: You will be explaining this in detail when you get back!

D: Defiantly.


D: Guess what I'm doing right now.

W: You're texting me! Boom! Totally guessed it!

D: *face palm emoji*

D: BESIDES texting you...

W: *laughing while crying emoji*

D: you just crack yourself up don't you...

W: I would hope not. I'd kinda like to remain in one piece.

W: Ba dum DA!

D: *face palm emoji*


W: Yup.

W: Yup.

D: Two 'yups' ok then.

W: Well you said we tend to repeat things!

D: Yup I did. And I stand by that statement.

W: Yup. Me too.

D: Yeah this conversation has slowed down a bit.

W: Yeah this conversation has slowed down a bit.

D: Oh. great. You're repeating everything I say. Why does this always happen to me?

W: Oh. great. You're repeating everything I say. Why does this always happen to me?

D: I quite.

W: I quite too.

D: Yay! You didn't repeat after me! (Exactly, at least)

W: =P


W: *youtube link*

D: I'll watch it after I eat.

W: K. What are you eating (totally normal question to ask) =P

D: Baked potato, flatiron steak, and there's also bread.

W: Yum.


D: I've been getting Disney songs stuck in my head for the past two days!

W: Like which songs?

D: Mostly Beauty and the Beast and then I also got Mother Knows Best stuck in my head for some reason.

W: Lol. You totally ruined that song for me with that parody! *laughing while crying emoji*

D: I totally forgot about that.

W: Lol. I didn't.


D: Omigosh. I kid you not Damian needs a shirt that says "the sass is strong with this one."

W: What did he say this time?

D: He said he wanted cereal and Tim asked him what kind he wanted and he said "This kind Mr." while pointing to the cereal box next to him and rolling his eyes.

W: Man he DOES need a shirt that says that.

D: Totally.

W: Well no I know what I'm getting him for his birthday.

D: Lol.


W: DUDE! AUNT IRIS HAS THE SAME DRESS AS STEPH CURR'Y WIFE! I AM FANBOYING SO HARD RIGHT NOW!

D: REALLY?! Which dress?

W:The one she wore on her birthday last year.

D: Dude, she should do a side by side picture of her wearing it and SC's wife wearing it and sell it on ebay for like a thousand dollars.

W: DUDE.


W: I feel like you like to tease me.

D: You say that like you don't like to tease me.

W: *opens mouth to protest*

W: *can't think of protest*

W: *closes mouth*

D: *frown emoji*

D: Wrong emoji! I meant *smirk emoji*

W: Yeah those have completely different meanings. Like remember that time I accidentally sent you a coffin instead of a bed?

D:Yeah that wasn't right. Well at least those two are right next to each other. A bed and coffin don't even look anything alike!

W: Well it was really late at night! wait...sending a pic of a coffin late at night sounds worse. Yeah forget I brought it up...

D: Yeah I'm not going to forget that.

W: XD me neither.


D: I'm going to be checking your bag before you leave Kay?

W: Ugh you're so...I haven't thought of a word yet but whatever you are it's not funny!

D: Wally, it's kind of hard to insult someone when you don't know the word you need to insult them. *laughing while crying emoji*

W: *glaring emoji*

D: *grinning emoji*


Lol So what did y'all think? And yes. 99% of those are Fantasy and my real conversations. XD The other 1% is either just a random idea I got, or a text conversation I had with another friend or something. But most of it is all our conversations. Ours texts are very...interesting. Lol.

Anyway! I hope y'all enjoyed that one-shot!

Feel Free To Review or PM ME!

Love Y'all To The Moon and Back! Bye!

~SunshineGirl14