Alright, so I'm pausing in the Xmas special. Yeah, finally. 'Cause I'm on a Writer's Block for that. For example I have no idea what Ed is going to give Envy. I have no idea when I'm going to continue it, maybe Xmas this year.

So, here's the next part of Crossdressing & Chaos, enjoy. Sorry for the wait to whoever's been reading. Been busy with life and Digimon.


C

Cross-dressing & Conflict

Setting: Homeroom, Practice Studio


The next few days passed by in a blur. Envy had read Winry's copy of Romeo & Juliet. To Winry's, Al's and Russell's surprise, he had understood the language quite well and was even able to quote some of Juliet's lines when Winry asked. Ed and Ling had just looked at him, one with a thoughtful expression on his face and the other with a genial smile. Envy raised an eyebrow at them, feeling as if they knew something he didn't. But didn't they always?

He hadn't the slightest idea why he had been able to understand the difficult language. At first he had just stared at the unfamiliar words in puzzlement. But after a while of reading, he had found that he had come to understand them better – as if he had somehow seen, hell even spoken the language before. It was strange. Could it have something to do with his past? Yet Shakespearean language was spoken eras ago.

With Envy's understanding of Romeo & Juliet, preparations for the play began in earnest. The girls were more excited than ever, making the costumes and most of the boys were just glad they were assigned to be stage helpers and helping the girls with the props like the swords. Some of the girls had proposed to tweak the play a little and take the beginning from the manga. Confused, Envy had asked Winry.

"They're talking about the manga version of Romeo and Juliet, called Romeo x Juliet." Winry explained to him. "There are many different versions of Romeo & Juliet since it's so famous and popular."

"And this manga version would entail?"

"Juliet's a guy." Envy blinked. "Well, people think she's a guy anyway. She's disguised herself as this young man called The Crimson Whirlwind who helps people and fights against House Montague's oppression."

"So…how does she meet Romeo?"

"He saves her from his flying horse. But we obviously can't have that in the play so we'll have to change that part," Winry smiled. "We'll probably make it so that she meets him in a duel."

"Juliet can fight?" Envy asked disbelievingly.

"In the manga version? Yeah. She's a swordsman." Winry smirked at Envy's surprise. "Not so bad to be Juliet now, is it?"

"That's only if it's decided that we're making use of the manga version." Envy said wryly.

"No worries, Envy, the girls suggested it after all," Winry grinned widely. Her voice dropped into a mock whisper. "And I'm sure the boys will agree. It's manga, after all."

"Besides, everyone would like to see you and Ling fight in a duel." Winry smirked.

Envy was silent as Winry spoke. "So…" the blonde mechanic said, smiling slyly, "I suppose I'm going to have to let you borrow the manga?"

Envy looked at her, then sighed, averting his gaze. "Whatever."

And that was how Envy Evans came to read his first manga.


"Ah, is it thee or thou?"

"Thee I think…"

"Are you sure?" Sophie asked, frowning. She threw her hands up, "Ah, this is so hard, I feel like giving up!"

"What's wrong?"

"Envy," the blonde said in surprise. She flushed lightly as he looked at her, "Um, we're trying to convert the manga's words into Shakespearean language…since we'll be using the original version of the play for everything else."

"Oh." Envy said. He bent down slightly, peering at the piece of paper, "How much have you done?"

"Not much…"

"I see. Why don't you let me do it then?" The girls looked at him in surprise and he smiled sheepishly. "I've finished memorizing my lines for the first few scenes so I don't have much else to do."

"Really? You know how to do it?" Sophie's friend asked, surprised.

"Of course he does, Eileen!" Sophie exclaimed, smiling in relief. "Will you really do it for us, Envy?"

Envy nodded and the blonde squealed, "Thank you, Envy!" She smiled brightly, standing up "We'll go and help with your costume now!"

"No problem." Envy paused. "And thanks."

"Anything for you, Envy-sama!"

"-Sama?" Envy asked, puzzled.

"It's a suffix from Japan, which has a meaning similar to 'Master'." Eileen said in amusement, "Basically, she's calling you 'Master Envy'."

"But I'm not her master." Envy pointed out.

Sophie giggled, eyes bright, "He's so cute!"

"Come on, Sophie," Eileen said, grabbing her friend's arm and walking away. She smiled. "Let's leave Envy-sama to do his work."

"Awww. Well, bye Envy-sama!"

"Bye…" Envy said dazedly. He could have sworn she had just blown a kiss at him.

Sighing, he sat down on the floor. There was a copy of the first volume of Romeo x Juliet laid out, a copy of the original play as well as a piece of paper which had neat but often cancelled out lines of handwriting. Envy scanned it for a while, before deciding he might as well start from the beginning to prevent confusion.

"Let's see," the sin murmured as he scanned the panels, "So here, 'you' will be thee since it's used in a more direct manner. But here," he moved his gaze, "It should be thou."

"As for the other words, well most of them should be the same. Though I'll probably have to add some sort of flair to make it seem Shakespearean…oh but we'll have to alter this scene here…"

Looking between the manga and piece of paper, Envy picked up the pencil and began converting the language, referring to the play for guidance. It was easier than he had expected to be, as somehow, it just came to him as if by instinct. Perhaps he had indeed spoken Shakespearean in the past. Though who knew? It could still be wrong.

"Yo, Envy, what're you doin'?"

"I'm converting the manga's language into Shakespearean language," Envy said without looking up. "I've finished memorizing Juliet's lines for the first few scenes from where the original version continues."

The Xingese prince stooped beside him, making a thoughtful noise.

"Don't you dare say anything, Greed," Envy said as he wrote, switching his gaze. "Unless you would like to take up the task yourself. I'd like to see you try."

Greed smirked. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Ling doesn't speak like that, even if you were using his voice." Envy scoffed.

"Relax babe, I've finished memorizing Romeo's lines and I'm bored."

"You mean Ling has finished memorizing."

"Well, kinda. We both memorized I guess." Greed shrugged. He leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. "Not bad."

"Don't mock me-"

"Hey I'm being sincere, it's really not bad," Envy looked at him skeptically and he put his hands up, "Look, you may not remember but I knew someone who read Shakespeare, well something akin to Shakespeare anyway. The language's really similar though."

"But," Greed began, pointing a finger at the next line, "If you want to incorporate this into the original play, you've got to use iambic pentameter."

"Iambic pentameter?"

"Yeah. The guy uses blank verse for the nobles," Greed explained. "Blank verse is unrhymed iambic pentameter."

Envy twitched. "Right…"

Greed smirked at him. "I guess it's better if I show you, huh?"

Envy crossed his arms, watching reluctantly as Greed picked up the pencil and began writing, looking back and forth between the manga and paper and play. "Damn, this is kinda hard."

"Told you so." Envy said smugly.

He stared as Greed performed the otherworldly task of converting Romeo's lines into blank verse, whatever that was. When the homunculus withdrew, Envy practically snatched up the paper, ignoring Greed's smirk.

"That's blank verse," The homunculus with a pony tail closed one eye in a wink. "Pretty cool, isn't it?"

"W-Whatever." Envy muttered, staring disbelievingly as he compared it with the lines from the play. Damn, Greed was good.

"See? I'm being helpful," Greed pointed out, smiling with sharp teeth. "Aren't I?"

"How the hell can you do this?"

Greed lifted one shoulder in a shrug, "We homunculi have more advanced minds than humans," he said, "Even you, even when you've lost your memory."

"Trust me, you've encountered a language similar to this in the past." Greed smirked, "As for me, well, I read Dante's books when I was bored. And she's old."

"Damn you." Envy said grudgingly. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Since you're here, make yourself useful and teach me." He muttered.

Greed grinned, "Sure, babe." He drawled.

Envy glared at him but sobered up when Greed began speaking about blank verse, using the line he had converted as an example.

"You know," The purple haired sin said wryly, "Your presence isn't a nuisance when you aren't harassing me."

Greed just smirked.


The day of the first rehearsal arrived. Envy and Greed had finished converting part of the script though they had to work with Winry and the girls to fit it properly into the original play, the actors all seemed to have memorized their lines for the first few scenes and the girls had put aside their costume making to come and see, and the boys had paused in making the swords.

When Envy stepped into the room they had borrowed for practice, he sighed, looking around at the excited people. How had he gotten himself involved in this again?

The door opened, and Miss Harper stepped in, followed by a black haired man whose presence caused Envy's eyes to widen.

"Y-You!"

A black eye turned its gaze in his direction. "Why hello, Envy."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Ed echoed Envy, surprised.

"I wanted to see Elizabeth's class play," Roy said, nodding, "She has spoken about it to me."

Miss Harper blinked. "Is there a problem, Envy?" She asked, genuinely curious. "If Mr Mustang's presence will affect your performance I can ask him to leave."

"N-No." Envy gritted his teeth.

"Alright then." Miss Harper nodded. Roy walked away and she moved to stand in the centre of the room, inciting silence.

"The overview of the play will be as follows," the blonde woman spoke, blue eyes on the words on the paper, "The play will start off differently from the original version. It will start off as Juliet as a masked man dubbed The Crimson Whirlwind, Odin. However, her mentor will still be The Nurse and she will still meet Romeo. She will battle him in a duel, and afterwards, she will meet him at the Montague House as herself and fall in love with him," Miss Harper spoke placidly, though there was a slight amusement in her voice. "Soon after that, she will discover he's actually a Montague and the scenes will be from the original version from then onwards."

"So in other words, the scenes which will change will be before Romeo and Juliet's meeting, only this time it will be at the Montague House instead of the Capulet. Juliet will be the one who sneaks in. She will also have some aversion to Romeo after learning he's a Montague. In addition, due to interest of time, some scenes from the play have been removed to cut it short." Elizabeth announced, looking across the room. "Any objections?"

The students shook their heads. Elizabeth smiled. "Good."

She moved the paper away, "The cast will be Ling Yao as Romeo, Envy Evans as Juliet, Edward Elric as Tybalt, Winry Smithers as Mercutio, Alfonse Heiderich as Benvolio, Russell Baxton as Count Paris and Martha Miller as Balthasaar." Elizabeth paused. "As per request of the girls, I will be participating as The Nurse. Sophie Rooney has volunteered to be Rosaline. Prince Escalus will be Rick Rorden and Friar Laurence-" The teacher paused, blinking. "Has no one to play him."

"I can be Friar Laurence, Elizabeth," Roy spoke and she looked at him in surprise. He smirked, gaze resting on Edward, Ling and Envy. "You let me read the play, if you recall. I'd like to participate in this interesting play as well."

"I see. Any objections, students?" Elizabeth asked. There was silence, though Envy was biting his lip, looking away from that taunting gaze. Ling looked at him, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"If there are no objections, Mr Mustang will take up Friar Laurence's role, though he will not act today." Elizabeth said promptly. She looked at the people who were acting in the first scene. "Are you ready?"

They nodded. Elizabeth smiled.

"Very well then. Begin."

Envy stared as Ling lifted his hand, touching it with his lips in a light kiss. He winced, as he saw the girls practically swooning.

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this;" Ling spoke fluently, gazing at Envy with dark eyes, "My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

Envy continued staring, feeling his cheeks warm. Realizing Miss Harper was staring at him, he opened his mouth. "Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this;" was he even saying the correct lines? "For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss."

Ling smiled at him charmingly, "Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"

"Ay, pilgrim lips that they must use in prayer."

Ling grinned. Still holding Envy's hand, he turned it over gently, brushing his lips against the back of it, causing squeals to erupt from their female audience. Envy couldn't help but wonder if Romeo did really kiss Juliet's hand twice in this scene. He watched as Ling murmured, "O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray – grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."

Envy gaped. "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake."

Ling withdrew his lips from his hand, smiling softly. "Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take."

"Stop." Miss Harper said as Ling leaned forward. The actors turned to her and she said, "Ling, you did the scene well. Very well. But you, Envy…" she sighed, "You need to have more emotion."

"Yeah, En!" Winry joined in, crossing her arms. "Look at Ling, he's practically seducing you!" She pointed, a frown on her face, "While you…you're like a talking statue!"

Russell laughed from where he stood beside her, and even Alfonse couldn't resist a grin. Edward sweatdropped as Envy scowled, "I told you I couldn't act!"

"You're not even trying!" Winry shouted at him accusingly.

"I am!"

"No you aren't, you're just reciting the lines!" Winry accused, scowling, "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake. Anyone can do that!"

"Do you even understand what you're saying?"

"Of course I do!" Envy yelled, incensed. Damn it, he was the one who had helped convert the script into blank verse and she was saying he didn't understand part of the original play?!

"Really?"

Envy clenched his teeth, as Miss Harper's voice boomed, "Envy, Winry, arguing will not solve anything," she spoke precisely. "Keep quiet, Winry. Envy, calm yourself down and try again. "Ling, repeat your second last line from just now."

Ling nodded. He lowered his lips onto Envy's hand, speaking softly, "O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray – grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."

Envy resisted the urge to scowl, "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake." He spoke grimly.

"You're too serious, Envy." Miss Harper said. "Try again."

Biting his lip, the purple haired teen inhaled, and spoke in a calmer voice, "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake."

Winry sighed. "He's just reading the line…" she said. "He isn't acting."

Envy snapped. "Then what the fuck do you want me to do!" He bellowed, purple eyes narrowed in anger, "I already told you I can't act as Juliet!"

"Envy!" Miss Harper said warningly.

"You can!" Winry yelled back, scowling, "You just don't want to!"

"Why don't you act as Juliet then, huh?!"

"Because I'm already Mercutio, idiot!"

"And why the fuck can't I be Mercutio?!" Envy protested angrily, "Why must I be Juliet- be this…this stupid, lame and weak human girl?!"

Winry gasped, then glared. "Take that back!" She practically screamed, "Juliet's an intelligent and strong character! She's my favorite character! How dare you use such a degrading term for her?!"

"Winry, calm down…" Alfonse said, worry in his voice. He moved to place a hand on her arm, but she shrugged it off angrily.

Envy sneered at her, snatching his hand away from Ling and stepping forward, "Oh? And what if I won't?"

"Then you don't deserve to be Juliet!"

"I didn't want to be her in the first fucking place!" Envy growled lowly, gritting his teeth, "YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WANTED ME TO BE HER!"

Winry looked surprised, but the anger didn't leave her eyes. Before she could speak, Envy continued angrily, "Isn't that right, huh Winry? You're always forcing me to do things I don't want to!" He yelled, all the frustration he had keep bottled up over the past few days rising in him now, "I did everything you wanted, you know! I read the damn play, then the manga, I memorized Juliet's fucking lines!"

"And then just because I can't act, you yell and accuse me of not even trying?!" The purple haired sin glared, hurt and anger in his eyes, "WHERE'S THE FUCKING JUSTICE IN THIS, HUH?! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM – ONE OF YOUR FUCKING DOLLS?!"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND!" Winry screeched, and everyone except her and Envy winced, "BUT IT SEEMS YOU'RE NOT FOR IF YOU WERE YOU WOULDN'T BE FUCKING YELLING AT ME!"

"IF YOU CARED FOR ME AS MY BEST FRIEND YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE ACCUSED ME OF NOT TRYING!" Envy screamed back, causing their audience to grimace. Who knew the purple haired boy's voice could go so high? "BECAUSE I FUCKING HAVE – I'VE BEEN TRYING MY FUCKING BEST FOR YOU!"

Winry glowered, and just when Envy thought she was going to scream back at him, she stopped and stared at him. "Envy, you're…"

Crying; she seemed to want to say, for Envy suddenly realized tears were slipping from his eyes. Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck.

He glared and wiped them away with the back of his hand, "You know what? Fuck this. I'm…I'm fucking out of here."

"Envy!" Winry called but he shot a tearful glare at her, spitting.

"It was nice knowing you, Smithers."

Winry started, blue eyes wide and full of hurt. "En-"

She was cut off by the sound of the door slamming with a deafening sound, shaking on its hinge from the force before it settled.

"So…now what?" Russell asked, his voice quiet for once.

"We can't continue the rehearsal without Juliet –without Envy," Miss Harper finally spoke, but even her voice was shaky. She inhaled, and said in a clearer voice, "Everyone is dismissed for today. Go home and practice your parts."

"It will be alright, Elizabeth," Roy said as he put a hand on the blonde woman's shoulder, looking at her with his one eye. "He will come back."

"How do you know, Roy?" Elizabeth asked, surprised.

Roy just smirked at her. "Because I know he won't admit defeat so easily."

Elizabeth shook her head, her gaze somber, "Perhaps I was too harsh on him." She said regretfully. "I should have known he wouldn't take too kindly to being Juliet."

"You weren't." Roy reassured her. "I've been harsher on him and he always gets back up."

"He left me." Winry whispered as she fell to her knees, tears in her blue eyes. "Envy left me. My best friend left me."

"He didn't, Winry, he's just angry, that's all," Alfonse gave her a reassuring smile. "Just give him time to cool down."

"No…maybe he was right, I was pushing him too hard, I was being too insensitive," Winry murmured, "He called me Smithers, Al. Smithers. Envy has never called me by my family name before, even when we first met." She sniffed. "That's how close we…were."

"Winry…"

"And…he was crying," Winry spoke softly, clenching her fist, tears falling from blue eyes, "I…I made Envy cry." She choked. "What a terrible best friend I am!"

"You're crying too, Winry…" Alfonse pointed out quietly.

Winry shook her head, "You don't understand, Al." She replied, voice soft, "Envy doesn't cry. He just…doesn't. The only time I saw him crying was…" she gulped, averting her gaze, "When I saw him cry for the first time, I told him I would make whoever made him cry pay." She gave a dry laugh. "How am I gonna make myself pay?"

"You don't have to, Winry. It's not your fault," Alfonse said kindly. "You're stressed too, I can tell."

"Come on," he urged, wrapping a friendly arm around the mechanic's shoulders and helping her stand up. "The best thing to do now is go home. Go home and rest, Winry. Things will be alright."

Winry sniffed, "Really?"

"Yeah, really," Alfonse smiled at her. "Envy will forgive you. He always does, doesn't he?"

"But what if he doesn't, Al?"

"He will." Alfonse said confidently. He gave her shoulder a reassuring rub, then removed his arm from her shoulders, "I know it."

"Don't worry Winry, tomorrow will be a better day."

Winry smiled weakly at him. "If you say so, Al…"

Al smiled at her. He turned to look for his friend, and blinked.

"Al?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you looking for?" Winry asked hesitantly.

Alfonse turned back to her, smiling apprehensively.

"Winry…where's Ed?"