'How you feeling today, Liv?' Karen asked.
'Ill.' Olivia answered groggily. 'I've been vomiting all morning.'
'Aw honey. That sucks.' Karen stood up and went over to the kitchen cupboards.
'What would you like for breakfast?'
'Nothing.' Olivia said, head resting on the table.
'Come on honey, you've got to eat something.' Karen voiced her concern. 'You've hardly eaten anything in the last few days. You are eating for two, remember?'
'The amount of throwing up I'm doing – how could I forget?'
'How about something to drink? Orange juice? Milk? Water?'
'No.' Olivia protested. 'I can't keep anything down and I don't want to throw up anymore.'
'Honey, maybe you should go to the doctor to make sure everything is okay.' Karen suggested.
'I've got a scan this afternoon. I'll ask while I'm there.'
'Okay honey, make sure you do.'
Olivia nodded. 'Are you going to look for apartments today?'
'Yeah.' Karen lied. 'But if you need somebody to go to your appointment with you then I can look for apartments later.'
'No, it's okay. Actually, Elliot's coming with me.'
'That's nice.'
---
'Okay, so when we put the gel it's going to be a little cold and uncomfortable. Then we'll have look to make sure everything is okay.' The OB/GYN said.
After telling her about the severe morning sickness, Olivia was apprehensive about what would happen in the next few minutes, as was Elliot after hearing this, although he didn't let on, deciding that Olivia would be worried enough without knowing that he was also worried.
'What? What's wrong?' Olivia asked frantically, noticing the OB/GYN's change in expression.
Quietly, she said, 'I can't find a heartbeat.'
Tears immediately started streaming down Olivia's face. She was so scared. Terrified. Unbeknownst to Olivia, so was Elliot. In an instant, Elliot decided that, whatever happened, he would be the strong one. He would need to be. The father was supposed to be the strong one, wasn't he?
'I'm going to get another doctor.' The OB/GYN said, leaving the room.
The second she left the room, Olivia started wailing.
'Liv. Liv, look at me. It's gonna be okay. Everything's going to be fine. Listen to me, it's okay. Everything's fine.' Elliot said with confidence he didn't really feel. 'Do you believe me?'
Feeling obligated to agree; Olivia nodded, even though she knew that Elliot himself didn't believe his words.
The wait for the other OB/GYN, both knew, would be the longest of their lives.
---
Karen sat in Will's office, waiting for him to begin to discuss her divorce proceedings.
'Did you say to Olivia that this was happening today?' Will asked.
'No. I said I was looking for apartments today, which is partly true. I was looking this morning. She hasn't been so well the last week or so I didn't want to worry her.'
'Of course. Now Kare, what would you like the grounds of from Stan to be?'
'How about the fact that he cheated on me, faked his own death and then told my stepdaughter that he would drag her to a clinic for an abortion? What does that count as?' Karen said, her tone somewhere between sarcasm and bitterness.
'Irreconcilable differences I'll take that as then.' Will responded. 'And since Olivia is staying with you, the issue of custody will come up. I assume Olivia will still want to stay with you, and that you still want custody of her.'
'Of course.' Karen answered immediately. 'I can't let her go back there.'
'Another thing that may – and only may- come up is Mason wishing to stay with you Olivia. Because of his age, the court would listen to what he would like. They would take his views into account.'
'And my view is he is more than welcome to stay with me and Liv if he wants to.'
'That's fine.' Will said. ' I will have to send a letter to Stan's lawyer, and I will get back to you as soon as I hear anything back.'
---
The few minutes waiting for the other OB/GYN to enter the room seemed like an eternity. Neither Olivia nor Elliot seemed to know what time or even what day it was. When the new OB/GYN entered the room, he didn't say a word to either Olivia or Elliot. He just went straight to trying to find a heartbeat. Neither paid any attention to what the two doctors said to each other until Olivia was certain she'd heard one of them mention something about a faulty machine. Suddenly she felt hopeful. Like maybe everything was going to be all right. Nevertheless, she was still crying out of fear. She knew she could have heard what the doctor said wrong. Or even if the machine was faulty, it might not make any difference. They still might not be able to find a heartbeat. The whole situation felt surreal. Picking up her bag and her jacket, she began the longest journey to the next room.
Elliot could only begin to imagine what Olivia was feeling right now. He knew she would be feeling nervous, frightened, worried – any and every negative emotion – but he couldn't quite understand the extent of her emotions. She acted as if the baby was already there. She spoke to it; sung to it; already had connection with the baby. Elliot knew he cared for the baby, but Olivia already loved her child. If she lost the baby, he didn't know how she'd cope. It had amazed him how well she'd coped with being pregnant at her young age, but losing her baby at such a young age would be a completely different ballgame, especially when she loved her baby so much. She'd said before 'You kill my kid, you kill me.' He couldn't help but think that statement would become all too true. After taking her bag and coat from her, Elliot held Olivia's hand, knowing she needed as much comfort and calming down as she could get.
As more cold gel went on her stomach, Olivia could literally fell her heart pounding against her ribcage. This was what being in Hell's waiting room was like, she decided. It was literally like waiting to see whether she was going to go through hell. And as the doctor scanned for a heartbeat, she had to remind herself to breathe. Then she heard her new favourite sound.
'Found the heartbeat.' The doctor said. 'You can relax now.' He said, as Olivia laughed, tears of relief and joy streaming down her face.
'There's your baby.' The doctor said, as Olivia and Elliot looked at the sonogram picture in amazement.
---
It had never really occurred to Elliot how much he cared for his baby, loved his baby until he was nearly robbed of the chance to meet him or her. It had also never really occurred to him the amount of responsibilities that babies brought with them. As Olivia stood in a queue in the pharmacy, waiting for pre-natal vitamins, Elliot looked at a notice board. He looked at an advert for a part-time shop worker. Getting to the end of the advert, he was disappointed when he read that the employers were looking for someone over the age of eighteen.
'Ready to go?' Olivia asked, having got what she was waiting for.
---
'So now I'm getting home schooled.' Olivia concluded, getting up to go to the kitchen. She and Elliot were now back at Karen's apartment. 'Ah, just what I need after today – a nice big jar of pickles.'
'I thought you hated pickles?' Elliot asked.
'Not anymore.' Olivia said cheerily.
'Well, I better go.' Elliot said standing up. 'My mum will start wondering where the hell I went to.'
'See you tomorrow?' Olivia asked.
'Sure.' Elliot replied, giving Olivia a hug- something that was becoming a habit between them.
As soon as Elliot left, Olivia burst into tears.
'Oh, I forgot to give you this.' Elliot said, reentering the apartment and holding out a small copy of the sonogram picture. He saw Olivia sitting on the sofa, head in her hands. 'What's wrong?' He asked, sitting down beside her.'
'I was so scared.' Olivia said tearfully.
'I know.' He said, puling her in for a hug. 'I know you were.'
He continued to hug her, as she cried her heart out.
---
A while later, Olivia had cried herself into exhaustion, still hugging Elliot. Satisfied that she was sleeping, he loosened what hold she had left of him, and lay her down on the sofa. Finding a pen and some paper he wrote:
You fell asleep. Had to go. See you tomorrow. Sleep well.
Elliot x
P.S. Everything's fine. That nightmare I know you'll have is just a nightmare. Just remember everything's fine.
---
A/N: Hope you enjoy! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! And BTW, is anybody reading Nothing's Gonna? Nobody except Pam (thank you honey!!) seems to be reviewing. If there's a reason you've stopped reading, could you please let me know so I can try to improve the fic. Thanks. Enjoy!
