A/N: Short little one shot to a sadly neglected chain of stories. Maybe that will change..

Always take requests for this little baby with all ratings so go wild!

Enjoy!


You know, there's something that makes Fred Weasley babble and stammer like a brainless oaf. It turns out its Hermione's butt.

It happens especially when she grinds it into his crotch as he cuddles her from behind.

Hermione discovered this little trick when Fred tried to pin her to the serving counter of Weasley Wizard Wheezes. She just smirked and turned around, leant over the desk and pressed her butt in his general direction.

"What you were you complaining about Fred dear?" She hummed and smirked when she was met with silence. She looked over her shoulder to see him bright red and gaping like a fish.

"Nothing dear." He stammered before taking himself off to a storeroom to collect his thoughts.

He gets his own back though as when she presses against him next time, he pinches the left butt cheek. She jumps quite suddenly, which is unfortunate because they're in the crammed kitchen of The Burrow and they're helping his mother serve up to dinner to the ever-growing family. The motherly clucking and Hermione's red face keeps Fred laughing all the way until the pudding course. This is his first moment to lean over to his beautiful girlfriend and ask if everything was okay earlier.

He murmurs this quietly of course, not that there's anyone within hearing range as Harry, Ginny, Lavender and Ron have been hauled into the kitchen to help prepare dessert.

"I'm quite fine thank you Fred darling." She growls at him. "Something just nipped me, and I was so surprised to find that I liked it so much." Her tone becomes husky and Hermione has the last laugh as his cheeks flush and the room gets infinitely hotter. It's only made when worse when his tease of a girlfriend rests her hand on his thigh, inching her touch upwards, unseen in the bustle of a Weasley dinner.

She grins triumphantly at him and he scowls in her direction, angrily attacking his pavlova and cursing himself for dating the smartest witch of the age.

"Are you sure you're not meant to be in Slytherin?" He hisses at her when she pops a raspberry into her mouth and smirks back at him.

"Darling, every trick of this trade has been learnt from you." She winks and Fred laughs, despite his ardour and kisses her soundly on the lips – much to the amusement of the assembled Weasley clan.