Alex rubbed his head. Alex finds himself inside a police station cell. "Damn! What happened?"

Suddenly, a shotgun cocked (lolwut?) near Alex. "You better explain what just happened last chapter!"

"How am I supposed to explain it? I simply said that the author likes…"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Wheeler shot the ceiling. A Needler from above slams into the ground and dies. "Where's Mayor Bartlet?"

"Sheesh, Wheeler! When did you get so mean?"

"I'm the first black character of the Silent Hill series. I deserve this power!"

"That's not true! You're not the first……wait…." Alex gawked. "OH MY GOD! It is true!"

"But I'm nice." Wheeler smiled with his eyes crossed. "And to prove it, I'm going to get you out of here and give you my shotgun despite the newly introduced enemies." Wheeler tossed Alex a shotgun.

"Wait….what did you say?"

"I'm sorry Alex. I can't hear you over the plot device being used to separate the two of us." A ton of rubble from the roof slammed downward, separating both Wheeler and Alex.

"Shit!"

"Alex! Wheeler! Come in!" Elle's voice echoed on Alex's radio.

"Elle?"

"Alex! You have to get to the parking lot! I have to show you something."

Alex rushed room to room. Suddenly, Alex is introduced to a new enemy. A Schism.

"Hey, buddy!" The Schism starts rushing to Alex.

"OH MY GOD! Are you naked?"

"Nah! None of us where clothes! Give me a hug, buddy!" The creature rushed to Alex for a hug.

Alex stares at the creature. "I don't think I want a….IS THAT YOUR PENIS!?"

"What?"

"That thing at your crotch?"

"No. My skin is pink, but I have a black…ash like….stick pointing out from my crotch."

"THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THAT'S A PENIS!"

"Nonsense!" The creature proceeded to hug Alex, and eventually started grinding its crotch on Alex's leg.

"OH GOD! NO!" Alex shot the Schism with a single shotgun bullet.

"I only wanted to give love!" The Schism dies with its final words.

Suddenly, five more Schisms appeared. "BUDDY!!!" They all jumped him.

"Fuck! This is worse than Re-Deads from the Zelda series!" He proceeded to shoot them off.

After countless Schism fights and cleaning a stain on Alex's leg, Alex reached the parking lot. "Elle? Where are you?"

Suddenly, a car covered with diamonds busted into the parking lot. The car bounced as loud music blasted from within. Elle peeked her head our the window. "Sup, motha fucka! Look what I found!"

"Damn! Nice wheels!"

Elle waved her arms to the beat of the music. "For sure, bitznach! Ain't nobody gonna mess with this car!"

Suddenly, a Siam slammed in front of Elle. Alex gawked. "A new enemy? Already?"

Siam turned to Elle. "I'm rebellious!" He slammed his massive arms into Elle's car.

Elle's car began to flip out of control in mid-air. Elle screamed inside the flipping car. "ZOMGWTFBBQ!" The car landed upside down, with Elle unconscious inside.

Alex cringed. "I just dealt with a new enemy, and now I need to deal with a new boss enemy? FUCK! Those guys were bad enough!"

Siam laughed. "Don't worry. I'm easy. A few pistol shots, and I drop like a fly."

"Oh…….is that……Is that a woman tied to your back?"

Siam turned his head towards the woman tied up on his back. "Um….yeah….. Nancy, say 'hi'." Nancy waved her hands, which are tied together.

"Right. Let's make this fast." Alex fired six pistol shots, and Siam fell. "Well that was pathetic." Alex noticed that Elle crawled out from under the flipped car. "Elle! We have to get out of here!"

Elle laughed. "We're fine."

Suddenly, about fifty Schisms began rushing towards the fence of the parking lot. They began climbing the fence. "Buddy….buddy…..buddy…..buddy…"

Elle rushed towards a nearby sewer manhole. "HURRY! I don't know why they're calling me buddy! I'm scared!" She opened the manhole and dived right in.

Alex rushed in, and closed the manhole on the way down.

A Schism stared as the manhole closed. "Buddy?" The moment it closed, the Schism looked towards his fellow brothers. "Great! Does anyone know how to open a manhole?"

Another Schism grabbed its crotch. "Right here!" All the Schisms proceeded to laugh uncontrollably.