AN: Thanks for the reviews and the alerts and such:) Please keep it up and enjoy this chapter! There are only a few left, so savor it while it lasts!

The Monk and The Miko

kagomes-wanna-be

Chapter 11: Old Habits

He hadn't been still for almost an hour. He was shaky and twitchy and just all around restless. No one could blame him, however. They had gotten to the small village just after InuYasha had exited the healer's hut. No one was allowed in, and Miroku was slowly going mad.

"Why won't they let me see her?!" he cried out, spinning to face the others. "I have to see her! I-I... I have to..."

There was nothing anyone could do to comfort him. If they tried to say that everything would be okay then he'd end up screaming in their faces. It wasn't from anger, but out of pure desperation that no one had the answers he was looking for. He only wanted to be told that everything would be alright, but no one could tell him that.

The healer finally exited the hut and everyone raced up to him. "What happened? Where is she? Is everything oka-"

The man held up a hand to silence Miroku, keeping a serious look on his face. "She has awoken, thankfully, but is still very weak. She lost a lot of blood, and will probably be slipping in and out of consciousness for the next couple of hours. As you can imagine her wounds were very serious, so she'll be in pain for a while and will need to take about a week before doing any serious moving or her wounds will reopen."

"Okay, okay, thank you," Miroku said quickly, nodding his head. "But she's pregnant."

"She informed me of this, yes."

A hopeful gleam entered Miroku's eye and he stood a little straighter. "I-Is... Is there any chance that it..."

There was a soft sigh from the man before he shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. There is no chance of the child surviving. It's also possible that she has lost the ability to bare children at all."

The healer bowed gently before walking away, leaving Miroku standing in silence. His chest clenched in fear and pulse began pounding in his ears. Gasps racked his body before a choked cry tore from his throat.

Anguish was the only distinguishable emotion that came from Miroku as he pulled at his robes, slamming his staff against the ground repeatedly. "No! No no NO!" he screamed over and over, tears flowing down his face again.

"Miroku, I'm so-"

"Shut up! Shut up!" he cried out, turning to glare at all of them. "That is MY fiancee! That is MY child! Don't try and sympathize with me! You can't, okay?! You can-"

His shout was cut off by a gasp as he felt himself being slammed against the side of a hut. He looked up to see blazing amber eyes staring at him. "You need to shut the fuck up and listen to me, got that monk?" he snapped out dangerously.

Miroku could only gasp again, the wind having been knocked out of him.

"Now stop acting like a selfish ass and get yourself together. You're not the only one this is effecting. Your standing here talking about how it's 'your fiancee' and 'your child', well think about your goddamned fiancee for a second then. It was her child too, Miroku. Imagine how she must be responding to all of this," InuYasha chastised him.

Miroku stared up at InuYasha in disbelief, the tears slowing until they stopped. "I-I..."

"There's nothing you need to say," InuYasha said, his voice softening as he released Miroku's shoulders. "Right now you need to act like a strong man, and go comfort the woman you love."

Slowly he stood and righted himself, straightening his robes. He quickly wiped the tears from his face and stared up at InuYasha, giving him a soft nod before turning and walking towards the healer's hut, ignoring the other members of the group as he did.

InuYasha returned to the others with a sigh, watching Miroku's back as he disappeared. "I can't believe this," Kikyo whisper, wrapping her arms around InuYasha.

"I know," he said back. "But Kagome's okay, and we should just be glad for that," he told her, kissing the top of her head.

Sango stared at InuYasha proudly from her place in Kyoko's arms, barely recognizing the man that stood before her. She had neve seen him act so grown up as she did at that moment. Closing her eyes, she thought about how glad she was to have him there, because otherwise she didn't think that any of the rest of them would have known what to do.

--

Miroku stared down at Kagome with a straight face. She had fall back into unconsciousness after he had entered the hut. They hadn't been able to say anything to each other but they took each other's hands and Miroku hadn't let go since.

Every so often a pained look would enter her face and he'd grip her hand tighter in comfort. It didn't seem to do much, but he liked to think that it helped ease her mind to know he as there. A young woman walked in with a bowl of cold water and two cloths, handing them to him silently.

He thanked her and waited for her to leave before pulling the blanket down Kagome's body. The healer had apparently removed her shirt to gain access to the wounds, and she now lay in only her bra and bandages. Dipping the cloth into the water before running it down the length of her arm to clean the blood and dirt from it, he noticed that her skin was still hot. That was normal with injuries as deadly as hears, so he didn't think much of it and decided to put his faith in the healer.

He continued to give her a sponge bath in silence, running the second cloth over her skin to dry it. The cloth ran over her legs as he dried them off. A shifting caused him to pause and bring himself back up to her side, peering into her face as her eyes fluttered open.

"Miroku?" she asked worriedly, reaching out feebily.

"Shhh, I'm right here," he whispered, taking her hand in his, running the other through her hair softly. "How do you feel?"

"I've felt-" her voice cut off as she took in a deep breath, squeezing his hand hard. "Better," she finished with a bitter laugh.

He chuckled with her, glad to see hear her voice. "I'm sure you have," he said, moving her hair further out of her face as she stared up at him. He stared down at her for a moment before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her lips with a smile. "I love you."

She smiled herself as she returned his kiss. "I love you, too," she whispered back, playing with his fingers in her own gently. Laying silently for a moment, she kept her eyes closed before a choked whimper tore from her lips.

"What? What is it?" he asked quickly, worried about her.

"I-I'm sorry. I can't," she told him, shaking her head.

"You can't what?"

"I-I just can't... I'm sorry..." she continued, turning her head away from him and taking a deep breath as she pulled her hand away. "Please leave."

He stared at her dumbfoundedly, his hand laying limply in his lap where he had been holding hers. "Kagome, what are you talking about?"

"Please just go away," she whispered hoarsely, keeping her eyes tightly closed.

There was a pain in his chest as he felt his heart tear in half, unable to say anything. He made no noise as he stood and left the tiny hut, leaving Kagome to herself.

The group looked at him as he walked out, confused by the look on his face. "Miroku, what is it?" Sango asked.

"Nothing," he answered, trying to keep a straight face. "She's just resting again. I think we should find an inn to stay at while she makes her recovery."

"That sounds like a good idea," Kyoko said as he stood from his spot against a tree, wiping off his clothes. "So, plan on working some of that conning magic you have?" he asked, trying to keep the mood light.

Miroku just sighed and shook his head, turning away. "No, not this time. Let's just pay," he said.

The group stared at his retreating form in astonishment. They hadn't payed for rooms in months thanks to his devious abilities. Something had to be wrong.

--

It had been five days, and finally the healer told her it was okay for her to move around and do things without help. She had seen Miroku a few times since she had told him to leave the hut, but only when others came to visit her. The time when no one was there she spent meditating and trying to keep her mind off of him, but there was only one thing she could think of that would manage to do that.

She tightened the obi on the kimono that one of the healer's helpers had let her borrow, checking it before heading out with her backpack. There was only one place she wanted to go right now, and it didn't take her long to find it.

Sitting down on a bench inside of the tea house, she waited for the waitress to walk over and bow politely, asking how she could help. Kagome just stared up at her for a moment before clearing her throat.

"One cup of sake please."

AN: The addiction is back. Sigh. I hope you guys liked it and that you keep coming back for the last two or three chapters, which is all that's left:)

Go, be merry, and review.

kagomes-wanna-be