Morning

Waking up next to Spike filled the Slayer with more joy than she expected. She spent a few minutes just watching him, trying to decide if he was asleep or just pretending. When she shifted slightly he pulled her closer, and when she moaned a little, as his cool hand brushed across the skin under her top that had ridden up slightly during the night, he smiled, then breathed in a long lungful of air.

"Smell bloody gorgeous," he told her, still with his eyes closed. "Feeling alright?"

Buffy returned his smile and closed her eyes then, too. "Better than alright."

"Really?" he asked, somewhat surprised.

"Yeah. Super peaceful."

The vampire was beyond relieved. "And here I thought you'd wake up an' regret sharing your bed with the big bad," he said.

Laying a chaste kiss on his lips she affirmed, "One hundred percent regret free."

That made him open his eyes and look at her as if she were made of gold.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?" she returned his stare.

"What is this?"

"I… well. We're together now, aren't we? I kinda thought- aren't we official?"

Spike took a moment to test the question in his mind, to see if there was any way it might be a trick.

"Is that what you want us to be?" he asked, finally.

The Slayer gulped and was tempted to shy away from answering, but the look in his eyes drove her to honesty. She knew exactly what he felt for her, so she pushed back her fear of rejection and whispered, "It is."

His lips crashed to hers as the words left them, and they were lost to exploring each other's bodies again, with hands roaming over suddenly constrained clothing.

Pausing for breath Buffy decided to continue in her bravery. "Spike…" she began.

"Yes!" he replied. "Whatever it is, I'll do it. Give you whatever you bloody want."

She chuckled, genuinely touched by his sincerity, then continued, "You know how I said that we shouldn't, um… go further?"

He eyed her suspiciously. "Yeah?"

"Well, I was thinking about it and I have this question…"

"Yeah?" he said again.

"Why shouldn't we?"

"Bloody hell!" he exclaimed, and Buffy laughed again, nervously that time. "What kind of question is that? How do I- Do you want me to talk you out of it, is that it?"

"What?" she curled up her nose, in a way he found utterly adorable. "No! No. I was just thinking, like I said."

"Right. You're gonna have to lay this one out for me here, luv, 'cause I'm outta my depth."

"Well," she began to explain, "I had it in my head that we shouldn't. That it was irresponsible. But is it, really? We're both adults. You're so beyond being an adult. We've done it before, just not, y'know, together…" – her voice sounded so unsure, but she ploughed on – "And it's not like anything bad could happen, right? You don't have a curse. We're both single..."

"Slayer," Spike interjected, "I don't need to be convinced."

"So what's stopping us?"

"I… Well, your Watcher'll try and stake me, and your mum might come at me with an axe again, but on the list of reasons I care about is jus' one thing."

"You want to know if I'm ready; if I really want this… Want you?"

"Tha' about sums it up," he confirmed. "God help me, Buffy, if we go all the way in this… and if you then decide I'm not what you want, I couldn't bear it. You know I couldn't."

"I do," she said. "I… I want you. Don't want to hurt you. I… I wanna love you."

Spike heart swelled, and he searched her eyes for any hint of hesitation, and found none.

"Buffy," he warned, "Doing this… Being with you. It's dangerous." Her brow knit together in confusion and disagreement, but he carried on before she gave voice to it.

"When… Ugh, I'm such a prat. But, Buffy, when I love? I go at it – full hog. Never did know how to feel things half heartedly."

"I know," she whispered, stoking his cheek. He had the urge to close his eyes and savor the sensation, but he pushed it aside in favor of driving the point home. "Once you've got me, baby," he continued, "There's no turning back. Not for me. I can't… if there's any part of you that's worried you might regret it, Buffy… I can't."

The Slayer gulped, knowing he was right. Knowing he was being honest even at the risk of having it thrown back in his face. There was silence for a moment, as she continued her gentle caress across his cheekbone with her fingertips.

Finally, she whispered the words that would be forever etched on his memory:

"I'm kind of like that, too," she said, "All or nothing."

He gazed at her, but remained quiet as she came to her conclusion.

"Spike?" she said.

He nodded.

"Make love to me."


Still unable to form words, Spike's eyes spoke volumes on his behalf. In the Slayer's eyes he saw complete trust, and he knew he didn't deserve it; knew he'd do anything not to shatter it.

Fear had taken hold of him, and he didn't move for a long minute, until Buffy lightly wet her lip and worried it between her teeth. That's when he leaned forward to close the small space between them, and kissed her softly but passionately. The love he poured into the kiss made her gasp a little, and when she did he pulled back and let his trembling hands fall to her shirt buttons; his eyes not leaving hers.

Slipping her top off her shoulders Spike didn't dare to look away from her face for a second – scared that the fantasy would slip away if he did. It was like both of their first times all over again.

"It's…" the vampire mumbled, giving voice to that sentiment. "It's never been like this."

Buffy shook her head and reassured him, "Doesn't matter. All that stuff before? It's gone."

He smiled despite himself and asked, "The stuff between you an' me, pet, or Dru and soddin' Angel?"

"All of it," she affirmed. "All that matters is you and me, right now."

"Bloody hell, I love you!" he exclaimed, reverently.

"Yeah," she teased, hoping to break the tension, "If you ever get started."

The tactic worked. Releasing a short chuckle he removed her pants in record time and touched his fingers to her sex through her underwear. "Getting impatient are we?"

"Yes!" she said, with a moan, and he chuckled again.

"Umm, so wet for me."

"Need you," she panted.

"Oh, Buffy," he exclaimed, removing his own pants and shirt then. "Gonna give you what you need. Gonna-"

"Sshhh," she said, kissing him once more before ripping her panties away and wrapping her arms around his neck.

He slipped inside her with a gasp from both of them, and she felt instantly complete.

"Not hurting you?" he asked, and she moaned in response, pulling him tighter and rolling him under her.

Gazing up at her, perched on his cock, with her eyes closed, and her bare breasts bouncing in front of him he swore he was in heaven.

"Bloody hell," he exclaimed. "Buffy, I love you!"

"Love you," she repeated, almost without thinking, and Spike stopped mid-motion due to shock.

"What?" he said. "What- did you jus'….?"

Opening her eyes Buffy leaned down to kiss him, simply saying, "Yes," when their lips parted.

"You-?"

"Yes," she said again. "I… I love you."

"Buffy!" he gasped before rolling them a second time and beginning to move within her with renewed enthusiasm. She groaned, and he was about to slow again, when she dug her nails until his shoulders and demanded he go faster.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed.

"Yes!" she replied, before tipping over the edge into ecstasy.

Following after her Spike fought to catch his unneeded breath.

"Love you," he panted.

Buffy nodded. "So good!" she praised him. "So good, Spike. Spike, I love you!"

Just like that he was hard again.

To be continued...