The Ties that Bind
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight universe. All recognisable characters, content or locations belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.
Chapter Ten:
I found that tongueing someone was highly overrated. So was the post coital bliss that people talked about. Sex was messy, no matter how anyone did it. As far as frenchies went – well – it brought a whole new meaning to the word 'parched'.
Nonetheless, good things came with sacrifice. No matter how much the repercussions sucked wang, the momentary satisfaction was totally worth it. Paul was undeniably attractive. He also knew how to please a woman – even with her first time.
Still, the aftermath was just unbarable. In the time I'd spent with him gaining control of my phasing and then the short time after that, we'd come to a sort of unspoken something-or-other. We weren't really friends, but neither could I say I disliked the guy. He took the time out of his day to teach me control, after all. Plus, my wolf would probably crucify me if I even thought about disliking my imprint.
As such, this elephant-in-the-room-being-ignored silence was killing me. I was butt naked – so was he - in a pond. We were somewhere in a forest found in the middle of bumbfuck nowhere and alone. We'd just had sex and apparently we'd marked each other.
"Well," I began, "This is fucking awkward. Not to mention the fact we didn't use contraception." Fuck. The possible rammifications that epiphany had just slammed down on my shoulders. Motherfucking shit. If the whole imprinting deal was, in fact, to provide strong, powerful wolf cubs, Paul and I were inevitably fucked. I wouldn't put it passed the spirits to shove my irresponsibility up my ass like this. Fuck my life. "Motherfucking shit!"
"It's rare for a couple to get pregnant the first time around," Paul began. He was speaking slowly, channeling Jared. "Because a woman's body isn't adjusted to the sperm or some shit like that. Not to mention the rarity of women getting pregnant the same time they lose their virginity – the adrenaline and all of that shit. As for STD's – I'm clean. Wolves are immune to human diseases anyway."
I breathed in shakily. "It's awful coincidental that my mother was the imprint of a wolf. It makes sense, the whole breeding thing. If my mom's line wasn't strong, than I wouldn't have phased – I'm a chick, after all. And then I'm imprinted to another wolf? Points to Old Quil's theory of reproducing big bad vampire slayers." What is this fuckery? Why does it make sense in my head? I really wish it doesn't make sense out loud! That would just make it all seem more likely that I was going to be popping out a baby in nine months. God damn.
Paul nodded slowly. He seemed to actually be considering my words. That was a change for me: Edward had usually pushed down my opinion for his own, the patronising bastard. For all the years he'd roamed this earth, he was a naiive, unchanging prick. "It's a possibility," he conceded, "But one we won't be able to confirm for another two weeks, at the very least."
"How are you so calm about this?" I asked, nearing hysteria. I'd done that nearly too much recently. "I'm eighteen and facing the likelihood of getting knocked up before I graduate! I'm going to be a statistic!" I wailed, despairing. I'd promised long ago that I wouldn't be like my parents. As much as they loved me and I them, being the product of a teenaged pregnancy and divorced parents wasn't easy. Not only were both Renee and Charlie constantly criticised for their immaturity, but I was constantly scrutinised as well. I'd done everything to disavow people of the notion I'd end up just like my parents. Trust me to actually manage to do what I'd tried to avoid for as long as I was old enough to understand the reason behind the scrutiny.
"You need to calm down," Paul said, noticing the tremors before I did, "I don't particularly feel like being mauled today. As for why I'm so calm about this," he continued, "I turn twenty two next month. My mom's been bitching to me about settling down since I turned twenty. I've had time to consider having a family, I suppose."
Paul was twenty-two? I hadn't known that. It struck me that I'd been acting like an immature shit around him. Not only that, but I'd been acting like a selfish bitch, too. It wasn't like me, so I wondered why I'd been acting that way. Either way, he probably hated me.
I wasn't sure why, but the thought bothered me – so much so that I nearly started crying. Maybe it was the idea of getting pregnant. Maybe it was the carnage I'd seen travelling through the forest. Maybe it was a combination of everything I'd gone through in the last couple of weeks. Either way, I burst into tears and Paul was right there. He wrapped me up in his embrace and I stayed there. I coiled my arms around his neck, buried my face there and let all my emotions go.
The act was refreshing. When all my tears had dried up, I remained locked in Paul's embrace. I was reminded of just how muscled my imprint was, flush up against him as I currently found myself. The warmth radiated off him in droves, as it did off of me, though I found myself rather comfortable anyway.
Unfortunately, my slice of peace was broken by a howl that wrenched the air. I stiffened, irrationally fearing the mongrel beasts that had ruined practically everything last night. That fear passed with the feeling of my wolf's euphoria. It was telling me something I couldn't understand.
"Someone's just phased," Paul explained. He began to carry me out of the small pool of water. "Judging by my wolf's reaction – and probably yours – it's Jacob."
"Jacob? Jacob Black?"
Paul nodded and set me down. We both phased and began trotting to where Jacob's panicky thoughts were emanating from. 'Yeah. No doubt the pack will be all zen and shit now that the legit alpha's joined the pack.'
'Legit alpha?' I queried. I'd only been a wolf a week or so – all of this shit was still going way over my head.
'As right of birth,' Paul clarified, 'The title of alpha is rightfully Black's. His father and grandfather were the alphas of their respective generations' packs, after all – not to mention the role of tribal chief he'll inherit when Billy stands down.'
I may not have liked being told what to do – no one would after getting out of a controlling relationship – but I thought it made more sense for Sam to be alpha. I said as much.
'I know,' Paul agreed, 'Sam's oldest out of all of us. He's also been phased the longest – not to mention he's mature enough to make decisions after thinking about most – if not all – possible outcomes.'
Sam and Embry's voices joined mine, Paul's and Jacob's, though the latter's was still unintelligible. Apparently, Jacob was freaking the fuck out and Sam had left Jared to guard one of last night's lunatics.
'Have fun you two?' Embry greeted. He broke into a booming laugh, even in thought, and I was reminded that he was only seventeen, if that. Despite his larger than life frame, the guy was still a teenager and as such, found anything sexual either the best damn thing since sliced bread, utterly hilarious or a combination of both.
'Fuck off, dickweed,' Paul replied easily and I smiled, if only internally. He and I were approaching where Jacob was currently creating a new clearing. The sounds of a whineing and whimpering and an otherwise distressed wolf had me quickening my pace. I'd known Jacob my whole life: he was a friend of the family and I'd be damned if I wouldn't protect him. He was a friend, after all. I wouldn't bail on a friend – not after the bullshit I'd pulled when the Cullens were in town.
Jacob's wolf was a distinct shade of brown that nevertheless could blend into the trees surrounding us. Embry's and Jared's could do the same, as could Sam's – to a certain extent. In contrast, my and Paul's wolves had no hope in hell of camouflage. I observed that it seemed fitting of my personality: I was more one to take a fools-rush-in approach, rather than sit around, observe and plan. I didn't know Paul well enough to make the same assumption though.
'Jacob,' I began, only to fall silent. What should I say to him? What could I say to him? What the fuck do you say to someone who's just turned into a giant fucking furball?
The wolf whirled, crouched defensively and looked ready to attack me. Before he could, Paul's wolf growled beside me, menacing and protective all at once.
'That'll be enough of that' Sam's dual-toned alpha command left no room for argument. 'Jacob, you probably know the legends better than the rest of us. You've just joined the wolf pack.'
Jacob was silent, both physically and mentally. He couldn't very well deny it now, could he? He was a sorry version of Chewie, after all. Nothing quite like turning into a massive fucking dog to confront the truth…
'So that was you last night?' Jacob asked. None of us missed the accusation in his tone.
'Fuck no!' I exclaimed, 'Those crazy fuckers were rabbid!'
'Bella – cool it,' Sam instructed. 'Jacob, as rightful alpha, should you wish to take what is rightfully yours, than I'll willingly step down for you to do so. I understand, however, if you wish for me to continue being alpha.'
'It's a big responsibility, bro,' Embry added his two cents in, 'I don't think you're ready to handle it.'
Jacob evidently valued Embry's opinion. 'No, thanks, Sam, but you can keep the role of alpha all to yourself. I don't want it anytime soon – if at all.'
He seemed to be handling this whole new shitstorm rather well, all things considered. Given I'd gone completely apeshit, I wondered why that was.
'Billy's probably been preparing him, one way or another,' Paul mused, still beside me in the physical form.
'My mom had always been for the idea of soul mates,' I added, 'Oh my God, the bitch has been doing the same!'
'Bella, Paul – not now,' Sam's irritated voice came from where he was circling Jacob's crouched form. The alpha and Embry were trying to coax Jacob through the phasing process. Not wanting to see any of it, I asked, 'Might I go?'
'Be prepared to get a bumbfuck heap of ribbing from Jared,' Embry warned and then snickered, 'I can't believe you two fucked against a tree.'
'Ah, adolescence,' Paul mocked, 'I do miss it so.'
I could feel the amusement rolling off of Sam. 'Get out of here, Bella,' Sam instructed, 'Paul, go with her. I don't want anyone roaming out hear alone with those crazies possibly still around. Jared's guarding the deereater in my backyard.'
I turned and headed for Emily's. Paul trotted along beside me. We made a pitstop in the forest outside my grandmother's house. I pulled on the sundress I'd chucked off earlier as Paul pulled on his cut offs. Without another word, we walked through the backyard and to the main street.
"What will happen if I do get pregnant?" I asked, hesitant.
Paul shrugged. "I'll support you the whole way through the pregnancy and the next eighteen years," he cracked a rueful grin and shrugged. "And I have no doubt that the pack would support us. It's what we do, after all."
"And what about us?" I didn't know why I'd bothered asking. It wasn't like I wanted to know the answer. We were all but strangers, the imprint bullshit aside. We'd just had sex though. That changed things, didn't it? Hell, we'd even claimed each other. We were all but married, in the eyes of Taha Aki. The bite mark I'd left on Paul's neck wasn't faded. I had no doubt the same could be said for the bite Paul had left in my own neck. We both knew perfectly well what that meant: we were a mated pair – at least in regards to those who could smell our scents. It complicated things – not to mention the possible pregnancy…
"I don't know," Paul shrugged, "The imprint makes it so I'll be whatever you want me to be and vice versa."
I was yet to find out how that would work – what if we wanted two completely different things? I asked Paul and he shrugged. He didn't know, either.
"I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. In the meantime, do you want anything from me right now, in terms of a relationship?"
I shrugged. Truthfully, I didn't know. I enjoyed physically being with Paul. His sense of humour was growing on me as well. Still, I barely knew him. I had gone into a relationship with Edward had had lost the majority of my freedoms because of it. I didn't want to make the same mistake here.
There was a difference between Paul and Edward though, species aside. For one: a relationship with Paul would come with a guarantee.
"I don't know," I admitted finally. We were nearly to Emily's house – I could see it in the distance. "I still feel way over my head, with everything going on. I'm still… I don't know… I just… I'm floundering, I guess."
Paul nodded. He seemed to understand my rambling. It was a good thing one of us did. "You have school tomorrow, right?" He didn't wait for an answer. We both knew I did. "How about I meet you at your father's after school. You can talk through all your feelings and what not. I'll be your listening ear for the time being. When you've sorted everything out, than we'll talk, yeah?"
I nodded. I liked the sound of that. I couldn't be more glad that my imprint was old enough and mature enough to not kick up a fuss about everything. Christ knew one of us freaking out was enough of a hastle.
I smiled. "That sounds like a plan."
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Author's Note: Weeellll this chapter practically wrote itself. I actually wrote it in about an hour and a half! I hope you enjoyed it -T
