Chapter 11 - To be a Varian

"You know, I swear your room's nicer than mine," I announced to Squalo, walking through the unlocked door. "I mean, your windows don't actually open. How epic is that?"

"Doesn't that defy the purpose...?" Squalo replied without looking up from his booklet. Squalo's reading...well well well, isn't this a rare sight.

"Yeah...well...it's not like you're ever going to fall out a window," I responded grimly, sitting on his bed.

It'd been exactly nine hours, twenty seven minutes and fourteen seconds since we'd joined the Varia. Unofficially that is; we still had a 'coronation' from the Ninth.

Truth be told, we should've been in the medical wing, confined to hospital beds. But Squalo healed quickly; and I didn't like being lazing around in a bed. Lawson 'strongly advised' that it wasn't the best idea, but I wasn't in the mood to follow almost definitely crucial advice.

"Are you gonna go back?" I questioned subconsciously.

"Back where?"

"You know what I mean. School."

Squalo sighed, and put down his book. "Tch. I don't want to."

"Don't want to, or cant?" I asked knowingly. "Dino gets it you know."

Squalo looked down. As in the direction, down. He didn't really have the energy for emotions. "Are you going back?"

"Maybe. So I feel normal." I stood up and looked wistfully at the outside world, enjoying the light pitter patter of the rain.

He nodded and turned back to his pamphlet, but put it down almost immediately. "Serena, you can't just drag an injured arm – they invented slings for a reason," Squalo chided while rolling his eyes. "How many times have I -"

"Four. I just don't like slings; I mean; you never wear one either," I pointed out. How does he always know?

"I'm older than you," Squalo replied knowingly.

"Pulling the 'I'm older' line at a time like this? Play fair. And plus: this is the fourth time we've had this conversation. You know how it's gonna end."

Squalo put an arm up in defeat. "I'm sorry. This is probably the worst thing that could've happened...I mean - you joined an assassination squad and you haven't even hit puberty!" he said, voice cracking a little.

"If anyone should be sorry; it should be me. Your arm..."

Squalo laughed lightly. "You're sorry; I'm sorry. Our contracts aren't that bad; we'd be millionaires after a year...if we survive." He lifted what he was reading – and I just managed to make out the words 'Welcome to the Varia!' (which for some reason had an overly happy cartoon skeleton on the front cover).

So that's what he was reading...


I wasn't really surprised when my uniform was a perfect fit – they knew more about me than I knew about myself. It's a shame it was designed for guys though. It was roomier in places I didn't quite prefer.

'~Ushi shi shi shi~...you're late...' was definitely not what I was expecting to hear when I went to get dinner. I was expecting something among the lines of 'I'm gonna skewer you!' or 'DIE PEASANT'.

There were only seven places set for the table; one for the boss, and six for the officers. Bel, Mammon and Lussuria sat on one side; I was stuck between Squalo and Levi on the other.

"So, who's going to be the next boss?" It was Lussuria who asked the question.

"I heard the Ninth was going to choose someone; they said he had his eyes on one of us," Levi replied.

"~Ushi shi shi shi~...then I'm obviously the most logical choice..." Bel snickered.

"Are you kidding? I'm better suited than all of you put together," Lussuria bragged.

I snorted. "There is absolutely no way he's gonna choose any one of you." Unfortunately, their ears were all sharp, and my mutter turned into an insult.

"Care to explain, Serena?" Levi grunted beside me.

"You guys don't even have normal names; you're named after demons. Personality wise, you'd only use your power for your personal gain," I pushed on. But...if that happens, then I don't have to worry about being in the Varia for too long...but then again, if that does happen, they'd probably kill everyone they don't like...including me. Ah fuck...

"So what; you think you should be boss?" Mammon tempted.

"There's nothing in it for me. I don't see the point," I sighed.

"Let's have a vote!" Lussuria decided out of the blue. "Vote for who you want to be boss!"

"That's stupid; everyone's just going to vote for themselves," I murmured to myself, staring at my peas.

"I vote for Lussuria!"

"Mammon."

"~Ushi shi shi shi~...Belphegor."

"Leviathan."

Squalo sighed. "Superbi Squalo."

I stared at my peas, imagining they would jump around on the table and explode in the other Varia member's faces. Now THAT would be real entertainment.

"Well, who do you vote for?" Levi growled, elbowing me. I was really starting to hate this guy...

"Huh? I vote for the Tyr."

"Someone alive, obviously."

"The Ninth."

"They gotta be in this room."

"Fine. I choose the chandelier."

"Stop fucking with us kid!"

"Who would want to fuck you?"

"Levi! Serena! Play nice! Serena, it's gotta be a person in this room."

I took a moment to consider, and made up my mind. "Superbi Squalo."

"What?!" Squalo choked on a piece of broccoli. Squalo's always eating broccoli...he's always choking on it too. Maybe it's a health hazard...

"Him?!"

"Calm your farm woman..." I stated under my breath, pretending to be fascinated by a carrot. Wait a sec. Did I just call a male assassin 'woman'?

When I looked up again, a fight had already started. Food was flying and Levi, Lussuria, Squalo and Bel were all trying to beat the crap out of each other. Picking up my plate, I stood up, caught a flying chunk of potato, crawled underneath the table and came up next to Mammon. He was money obsessed, but at least he was against violence, right? "So uh...does this happen a lot?" I murmured, pointing at the fight.

"It was bound to happen eventually..." he replied casually, catching a piece of chicken. "Repairs come out of our budget. Pass the pepper will you?"

I passed a smile when I saw Squalo smash bottles of red wine in their faces. Although I didn't want to admit it, he fitted right in. "You been here long?"

"Long enough. What do you want to know?"

"I was just wondering...are there any girls in the Varia? Other than the maids I mean," I asked.

"Your uniform doesn't look that bad on you. You should wear guys' clothes more often. They're a lot cheaper."

"..."

He smirked before answering properly. "We've only ever had three female assassins in the Varia before; first died within the week, second's in a mental facility rambling about fried eggs - and we killed the third when she got pregnant."

Levi stabbed Bel with a butter knife, and I swerved to the left as Bel kicked him off the table. I sighed and ate another pea. "I'm going to call it a night. You should sleep soon, Mammon."

"Hn."


Nightmares. I'd never recalled them being so...violent. Or realistic.

Left, right, no evil world domination guy eating marshmallows. I let out a sigh of relief. But who was the guy with the black hair and guns? Xanxus...I felt like I should know him.

I took a deep breath, and sat up. There was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep now. For once, I wanted to go to school. It felt like something I should do – it felt like the place I needed to be. It had to be better than morning discussion with the Varia.

After I found my cleaned (and fixed) school uniform, I wandered around, contemplating on how I was going to get to school.


Several hours later...

"VOOOOIIIIII! She WHAT?" Squalo stormed.

"Calm down, newbie. So she went to school. What's the big deal?" Bel drawled while sipping a cup of hot chocolate.

"BIG DEAL? She's Serena. That leaves A LOT OF ROOM FOR ERROR!" Squalo exploded; dark and gloomy.

"And the Ninth's coming too..." Mammon sighed, glancing at a watch.

"VOI! Hell with that! I'm going after her," Squalo growled, picking up his sword from the table.

"Are you sure you should do that? You ain't exactly in tiptop condition; you know, missing an arm and all," Lussuria considered. "And what are you going to do? Drag her back? I highly doubt you'd succeed."

"I'll think of something!" he shot back.

"Superbi Squalo." The two words weren't spoken unkindly; and Squalo turned around, eyes narrowing.

The Ninth.

"Where did he even come from?" Levi whispered to Lussuria.

"How the hell am I meant to know? Maybe he has magical powers or something..." Lussuria declared quietly back.

"The Ninth doesn't have magical powers, I can tell you that much," Mammon droned.

"The real question is: how long's he been here?" Bel murmured.

"As the Ninth boss of the Vongola family, I hereby appoint you, Superbi Squalo as an assassin of the Vongola Family's independent assassination squad. Will you serve and honor the Varia to the best of your ability?" the old man inquired.

With a sigh, Squalo looked up and spoke. "You say that as I have a choice, Ninth."

"You do. Join the Varia, or have the Varia and the entire Vongola family hunt you down," the Ninth offered gently.

"Thought as much..." Now that the Ninth was in his face, it was a little hard to pick up a knife and stab him. "I accept your offer. I'll serve. Now if you'll excuse me," Squalo bowed hastily, turned and reached for the door.

"You know, you shouldn't worry about your sister - she just boarded a train. Until the new boss for the Varia is decided, I am responsible for all your actions," the Ninth called after him. "So you will stay here. Belphegor, please come with me. You've got a mission to complete."

Squalo couldn't even say anything.


In Mafia High...

I stifled a yawn as I walked back onto school grounds. I couldn't believe I was doing this. What the hell was I doing here? I turned around and started walking away from my school. Fuck no! Screw the Varia. Changing direction again, I made up my mind. I wanted my ordinary life back. As boring and uneventful as it had been.

The familiar steps to my room were walked with a blank mind. I didn't even realize Dino running towards me until he tackled me with a hug.

"Serena! You're alive!" he cheered, his grin stretching from ear to ear.

"Dino...shoulder...can't breathe..." I managed to choke out without screaming. He let go of me.

"Ah...sorry..." he grinned sheepishly. "Dislocated shoulder?"

I nodded. "What's up?"

"The Cavallone war's over – we made a truce...but my Dad's injured." His eyes drooped a little. "I've left you a note – but I'm kinda in a hurry. Watch out for yourself 'kay?"

I watched him run away, and heard him crash down the stairs just round the corner. *Sigh*

There wasn't much in Dino's note; just a few assignments I'd missed out on and exam notifications. But he did leave a P.S.

Just so you don't complain that I never told you, I'm probably just going to be a regular student, not a boarder. If need someone to talk to, I'll always be there for you. Visit my place every now and then, okay?

Before I forget, you have a new school timetable (courtesy of the Varia); it should be on your bed. Your yearly exams are in a few months; top prize is graduation. Thought you should know.

Try to stay in one piece,

Dino.

I folded the letter up carefully, and tucked it in my pocket. Glaring at my new timetable, I scrunched it up and put on a spare set of contact lenses. It took a moment to adjust. I twirled my walking stick in my hands on last time and left.


Let me explain something. There's training, sparring, then THE cage.

A completely uncontrolled fight zone - a fight only ends when someone dies or is knocked unconscious. Cowards are punished. Weaklings are shamed. Courtesy of the Varia huh? Bastards.

"Cadet! You're late!" a man barked at me.

Cadet? Does that guy think this is a military school or something? "Uh...sorry? I'm the new stud- I mean uh...cadet? Serena di Squalo? I think now is the best time to say -"

"Ah! You're the one that messed with the Varia," he mused, stroking an imaginary beard. "You're number 13. Get in the cage. Blindfolds! 4 to 8 are your opponents!"

"Hang on a sec! I never agreed to -" I tried to argue as someone blindfolded me, and pushed me through what might've been a door. I barely kept my balance. "You know, I think there's been this great big misunder -"

"Fight fight fight!" people began to chorus.

"I have no idea why they've sent us a kid, but it's your funeral," a harsh voice sneered.

I put up two hands in defense."I'm really not in the mood to - "

"Ha ha! Time to die!"


100 meters away...

"Thank you for escorting me. I appreciate it," the Ninth thanked as he looked around.

"No, it's an honor to have you here, Ninth!" the principal stammered, bowing hastily for the umpteenth time. The two men continued walking over the freshly mown grass in a few seconds of silence. "So, um...what brings you here today?"

"Serena di Squalo...how much can you tell me about her?"

"Drives half her teachers crazy, pisses the hell off the other. She's too gentle for the mafia, personally. But she's got determination, I'll give her that much. Wasn't she taken by the Varia the other day?"

"I received intel that she returned today. To answer your question, I'm here to appoint her as the Varia's newest Officer," the Ninth explained.

"What? Why would they want someone like her?"

"We'll soon see."


The next minute or so of my life felt like...scratch that.

Imagine that a truck crashes into you, runs you over - starts to drive away – but then reverses back onto you and finally, the driver laughs manically away.

The teacher put a hand over his eyes and sighed. Such a disappointment... "All right! Fight's over. Suck it up and try harder next time."

"No." I coughed and forced myself up, drawing my walking stick (it was surprisingly loyal these days). I only had one arm, I couldn't see and I could barely walk, but there wasn't much to it. They were surprisingly weak – a few good swings here and there; and they hit the floor one by one. They didn't even last half a minute.

"H-how...?"

I smirked. "When you were all trying to kill me, you were attacking each other - your senses are average. And your swearing was grammatically incorrect. So to sum it up: all brawn, no brains. Better luck next time, assholes."

I ripped off the blindfold with my good arm and limped over the door. "Hey you, can you open the door now?"

"S–S–Sure!" one of them squeaked.

Using a dark glare, I walked up to the shocked teacher. "You. Are. One. Of. The. Most. STUPID people I have ever met!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "I quit! You know what? I NEVER JOINED IN THE FIRST PLACE. Fuck off!"

I flipped him off, turned on my heel and bumped into my principal. Whoops. "Where do you think you're going?" he bellowed.

"My room," I informed. "Nice meeting you, but I'm just going to go that-a-away." I stepped around him and picked up my hat from the dirt.

"Don't you dare walk away from me young lady!"

"You forgot something, principal. I'm not a young lady. I, am a child." I walked away, but found another man in my path. An old one. I muttered a quick apology and went left.

He went left.

I went right.

He went right.

Now, when you're in the mafia and something like that happens, it's not usually a coincidence. In fact, I no longer believed in coincidences. I elongated my walking stick. "Do I know you?"

The old man chuckled, and dropped to my level. So he was looking down on me, huh? "You don't know who I am?"

"Should I?" People around me started gaping, and their shocked faces confused me. Who was this old guy? Celebrity? Probably. Never really bothered to keep track of them.

"Well, most people call me the Vongola Ninth," he shrugged.

I burst out laughing.

The principal pushed my head down into a forced bow. "I apologize for her stupidity, Ninth!"

"That's not very nice you know. If it's anyone's fault that I don't know who he is, it's because your 'school' has never taught me. So the blame actually ends up on you."

"You've got a point there," the 'Ninth' agreed. "Is it so hard to believe that I'm the Ninth boss of the Vongola family?"

"Extremely."

"And your reasoning?"

"There's only one boss of the Vongola family; in a world of six billion people," I pointed out. "I'm sure you can do the math."

He smiled. "Fair point."

"Even if you leave it to people within the mafia, age, origins - the chances are still well beyond single digits. So there is NO way you're the Ninth. Now, excuse me, I have better things to do." I tried to step around him, but once again, he blocked me.

"Do you know what this is?" he mused, drawing a scepter.

A scepter... "Judging by the reactions of these people, you're actually pretty important. I only know of two people with your status that used a scepter. One, would be the Ninth. The other, would be Daemon Spade, the original Guardian of the Mist. Since he's supposedly long dead, you're trying to make me believe you're the Ninth. Not working."

"And if I did...this?" Orange flames lit up on the scepter and the man's forehead.

The edge of my mouth twitched. That was no cheap party trick. So...I was talking to the real guy...this whole time?! Crap. That was a REALLY bad move then. Which left me with one option.

"Um...well...isn't nice weather we're having today eh?" I marveled, instantly breaking into a run.

Don't let his looks fool you. The guy was pretty fast for his age. "Serena di Squalo! By the power of the Vongola family, I order you to stop running!"

"Don't think you're any better than me!" I yelled behind me.

"Joining or not is decided by your own will!"

"Ha! But if I don't join, then the Varia and the Vongola are going to hunt me down till me grave – and isn't this proof? The Ninth, chasing a little girl around a school field!" I mocked.

"I call a truce! What if - "

"A truce only works both ways; and there's nothing you have that I want!"

"Money?"

"Screw money!"

"A mansion?"

"Who the hell needs one?"

"I'll kill your brother!"

"If you're the Ninth I've heard about, there's no way you'd sink that low!"

"I'll call my men and they'll kill you for your disrespect!"

"I don't give the shit! I'll talk to you however I damn well please you evil old man!"

The Ninth smiled. A gutsy one huh? Hyper intuition wasn't working too well either... "Fine! How about this: if you're in the top 10 of your grade at the end of the year, I'll let you quit!"

I stopped. Actually I crashed into the fence, but that's not the point. I groaned in pain as the Ninth's shadow cast over my face.

"As the Ninth boss of the Vongola family, I hereby appoint you as an assassin of the Vongola Family's independent assassination squad. Will you serve and honor the Varia to the best of your ability?"

"On your exception that if I do get one of the top ten rankings in my grade at the end of the year, my brother and I get to quit the Varia," I rebutted defiantly.

"Hmm...your brother wasn't included in the deal...how about top ten in the school?" he reconsidered.

"What the - you...you can't be serious right?" I gaped. "There are actually geniuses in this school."

"Top ten in the school, and you can both do as you wish. Last offer."

"Geez...throw in my detention and I'll do it."

"It's a deal then. You've got a mission. Fancy a trip to a hospital?"

"And I suppose if I say no, you'd actually listen to my wishes?"

"I was just trying to be polite. Welcome to the Varia, the dogs of the Vongola."

"Screw you, obnoxious old man."


That following night...

Something punched me in the face. "What the HELL was that -"

Bel pushed a pillow on my face. "Be quiet peasant!"

I sat up and blinked at the artificial lighting. Hospitals...honestly, I hated the person who ever thought of the idea. They were always so...white.

A dress was shoved into my face. "Hurry up and change. We're behind schedule," he hissed, staring at me.

"Um Bel...?"

"What?"

I pointed at him, and then drew a circle in the air.

"What the hell's that meant to mean?"

*Facepalm* "Turn around! Some fucking privacy would be nice!" I exploded silently. Muttering a few curses, he faced the wall.

I should probably explain. Turns out my first mission was with Bel. Oh the cruelty... Anyways, our job was to use a masque as a diversion (sponsored by and in the Estraneo family estate), find a scientist (he'd just created thing thing called a 'possession bullet' or something), kill him, and destroy all his research. Then cover all proof that we'd ever been there and walk away with a million Euros richer.

Security was supposedly extremely tight, so Bel and I pretended to be injured (we didn't actually have to pretend) and we were admitted into the Estraneo children's hospital – which just so happened to be above where the party would be held. If by some chance we were caught, the basic idea was to pretend we were lost and we'd just try again. But then again, basic ideas are pretty basic...

"So, no 'Ushi shi shi' today?" I teased, adjusting my necklace so it couldn't be seen.

"It's ~Ushi shi shi shi~ you idiot peasant," he insisted back.

"Yeah, whatever. What's with the attitude? You're not holding a grudge against me are you?"

He pushed me into the wall in one of those anime 'girl and guy serious talk' ways. "Look. You, are dead weight. You can't even move half your body! If you get in my way, I won't even hesitate to leave you behind." He turned and left.

"Nice to know how you feel..." I sighed, following him.


Things were going smoothly until we reached the third block.

"Sensor just went off!" someone yelled.

"What if it's just a guest?"

"We've got an alert that the Varia could be here tonight! We can't leave anything to spare!"

"Varia? What do they want?"

"Are you stupid? They're after the research lab in the fourth block!" Fools...they just told us everything we needed to find out.

"You're right...the possession bullet – I heard the Ninth was getting concerned about it..."

Crap. They were coming our way. On instinct, I shoved Bel into the nearest room, straightened my dress and pretended to act confused. Now...should I kill them, or buy Bel some time? If I kill them, it'll only be a matter of time before someone realizes. But if I distract them...

"Hands in the air!" one of the two men shouted, gun in my face. I backed up a few steps.

"Hey, be nice Ezio! She's just a kid..." another guy cut in. He bent down in front of me. "Hey little girl, are you lost?"

I nodded. Ignore the kindergarten voice. Ignore the kindergarten voice. Don't mortally injure him. You can mortally injure him later.

"She could be a spy! We shouldn't trust her!"

The guy in front of me glared at the other two men. "Honestly, how can you suspect a little kid like her?"

Shit. I risked a glance outside the window and caught something in my peripheral vision. Aha! Problem solved. "I'm the um...pianist for tonight."

"That's right! I heard they were having a kid pianist today. Boss' niece or something right?"

"Huh what? Oh well. Did you see anyone else around here?"

I shook my head.

"Alright. Your performance starts in a few minutes yeah?" I nodded silently, letting out a mental sigh of relief. That was a close call...wait. I was forgetting something...something important...what was it again? Bel! Right. As we walked a few steps, I pick-pocketed an ID card, muttered that I'd left something in that room, and ran back before they could stop me.

"~Ushi shi shi shi~...now you've done it," he giggled, back to his normal self.

Well, I didn't have time to worry about his mood swings. "ID card. Don't make too much of a mess." I prepared to open the door to repeat another lie.

"~Ushi shi shi shi~...I hate to tell you, but you do have three broken fingers. I don't see how you're ever going to be able to play the piano," he reminded.

"Worry about yourself first dude."

"Rendezvous in seven," he decided, shoving me out the door. "I'll find you."

I sighed, running out to the waiting security guards. Bel did have a point though. So...how do you play a piano with broken fingers?

Next thing I knew, I was on a stage – right in front of a piano. Blanked out again...geez, what was wrong with me these days?

An announcer walked up to the podium, signalling me to sit down at the piano. "And to entertain us tonight, the Boss' niece!"

I couldn't even move most of my fingers. You've. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. God, please let Dino's 'fate' bullshit be on my side just this once...whoops. I forgot. I'm an atheist.

I pressed a single key.


In the Cavallone Mansion...

"Dino, I'm relying on you...for the Cavallone..." the Ninth gen boss choked out.

Dino sighed, grabbing his father's hand a little tighter. "Please don't say that; I've told you, I won't take the family."

"Dino..."

He couldn't take it any longer. Hiding his tears, he ran out of the room, bumping into Romario.

"Young Master!" Romario face palmed as Dino fell down the stairs. He looked back into the room where his boss lay. "Boss...I'm sorry to say it, but are you sure about this?"

Dino's father smiled. "It's fine. Someday, Dino will become a great boss."

"But-"

"I called him."

Romario gaped.


In the garden...

I knew this would happen. He's left me alone for two weeks now. I bet you he let me go to mafia land as a bribe...Dino lay out spread eagled on the grass. What would Serena do? Hm...I think she would talk to herself out loud. "I've already told the old man I don't want to do it. I wish he'd just listen..." Dino sighed to himself again. Suddenly, a shadow cast over his eyes.

It was a baby. Wearing a fedora hat. And an expensive suit.

WHAT THE FUCK?

It smirked an evil smirk. "I'm the home tutor, hitman Reborn. I'll make you into a great boss Dino Cavallone."

"Reborn...?"


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Have a nice day, ciao~ :]