"I'm still wide the fuck awake," Lizzy complains loudly as she flops down onto her and Dean's bed diagonally with her head towards the wrong end in just her black tank and some sweat pants.

"This is the first time we can actually catch some shut eye for more than four hours in a row in eons… shut up and get in," Dean directs in an annoyed tone as grumpily pushes her body over to make room for himself. He then climbs into the sheets and pulls them up to his chin. He just needs one solid night. Just one sleep-filled, uninterrupted night.

"Rude," she says while lightly punching his calf through the comforter.

"Aren't you tired?" Dean asks her, shocked she doesn't want to take advantage of the rare opportunity to rest for once.

"Kinda," she says as she looks to him, both lifting their heads just enough to view the other on the opposite end. "Guess I'm just used to not sleeping now."

"Well, watch TV or something," Dean says to her, rolling over and facing away from his irrational wife. "I'm sleeping."

"Such a fucking downer, dude."

"Can't hear you," Dean says with his eyes already closed. "Sleeping."

She sighs heavily and looks over to the other bed. Sam is sitting up, reading an old, arcane version of scripture he took from Bobby's and most definitely he's looking for more answers to the Apocalypse. He's been relentless, as he should be, but Lizzy just can't read through more confusing and cryptic words from men who lived thousands of years ago. Her brain is toast and those dudes wrote like Yoda speaks… confusing as fucking hell.

"What about you, Sam-I-Am?"

"Hm?" Sam asks, looking to her only once he's finished this last line he'd been on. He sees her smile wide and hopeful when he peers over.

"You gonna be a lame bore too?" she asks him.

"If by lame bore you mean search for solutions to the whole world ending issue… then yeah, I'm gonna be a bore."

"Dude, you've been reading for hours. Come take a break with me for just a little."

Sam just looks at her for a moment. He knew they had been getting better. Lizzy feared him a whole lot less ever since they talked over her past experiences. Time has been on their side and it's healed a lot of her wounds, physically and emotionally. It's been so long time since they just spent a moment together… no Dean and no awkwardness.

"And do what?" he wonders as he lets go of his book and drops it on his legs.

"Go for a walk?" she tries, eyebrows lifted and face hopeful.

"At eleven at night?" he questions her, surprised by her suggestion.

"Or just go outside and hang out. Leave sleeping beauty to her thing." This is when Lizzy pinches together her thumb and forefinger and brings it to her lips, miming her intentions. She doesn't say it aloud because if she told Dean she wanted to smoke up he would be up and joining right in. However, she wanted some time with just Sam now that she saw the opportunity. It's been far too long and now that things are fully better between them she needs to reconnect with him.

Sam huffs a laugh at her pantomime. "Yeah, ok."


"Ah," Sam exhales a cloud of smoke as they sit in the Impala. He's sitting upright in the passenger side seat with his legs stretched across to the driver's side. Lizzy is doing the same in the back seat with her back against a side door yet she's going the opposite way as Sam and facing him. He sits up and reaches his arm to her, passing the half-finished joint.

"Oh God, I love getting stoned," Lizzy near whispers with utter glee to be getting high. She's cozy in the backseat, feeling excellent, and spending time with one of her favorite people on Earth. Life ain't that bad right now. She seems to focus on only the positive when high and considering her life that's quite the feat.

"Mmhmm," Sam agrees with her completely as he closes his eyes and listens closely to 'Hard to Imagine' as it plays through the cab. One thing Lizzy and Sam will always agree on is Pearl Jam. She loves them enough to put them in her top bands, which is saying a lot for Lizzy, and Sam is partial because it was his first ever favorite band while growing up. It was one group he and Dean could agree on completely when in the car even.

"And I'm serious," Lizzy says through a puff of smoke. "The next time PJ goes on tour we're going," she promises. "I've seen them tons of times. Best live band that has ever existed."

"Deal," Sam agrees, relaxing nicely as they hole up in his most familiar and comforting place. He knew Dean's retreat is the Impala, always has been and always will be. He didn't realize how it's become his as well. "I love this car."

"Don't tell Dean that," Lizzy jests as she pulls from the joint again. She exhales. "He'll get jealous."

Sam smiles wide with her joke. "I do though."

"You're not sick of it by now?" Lizzy questions. "I know I am."

"Well, yeah, I mean I get sick of sitting in one spot for hours on end almost all the time… but I wouldn't want to do that in any other car," Sam says to her. "I've spent more of my life in this thing than I have anywhere else."

"I bet if you did the math to find the percentage, it'd be insane." She passes the joint over the seat to him again.

"And so depressing," Sam smiles as he takes it back. "But that's ok. She's home."

Lizzy nods with a face of impression. "Getting pretty fucking Zen in your old age there, Sam."

"Better late than never," he sarcastically responds, taking a drag.

"Fucking-A," she fully agrees before suddenly asking, "Hey, how's Rina?"

"Good," Sam tells her as he cracks the window and tosses out the finished joint. "Talked to her a couple days ago. Her grandmother's been driving her crazy this week but other than that, she's doing well."

"Good to hear," Lizzy nods with the info. "She's been left alone since we last saw her?"

It wasn't just Sam who had worried about Rina's safety once she'd been around them. All three hunters were highly concerned about what might come after her now and use her for information or leverage. Wouldn't be the first time.

"So far," Sam tells her. "She did everything I told her to. Salt, devil's traps, sigils…."

"And she has her dog," Lizzy adds. "They sense evil so if anything comes for her…"

"Rui'll let her know," he finishes for her.

"We should look for something down her way soon," Lizzy suggests. "You haven't seen her in months."

"Yeah that'd be nice," Sam thinks about it for a second, his voice distant before snapping back to reality. "But I already put her in harm's way enough. No need to make it worse by going near her again with all that's going on."

"Dude!" Lizzy nearly scolds in an angry voice.

"What?" he asks with confusion.

"You like her!"

"Yeah…?"

"And now you're never going to see her again?" Lizzy asks with shock at how easily he's willing to walk away from something that seemed really good.

"Exactly."

"I must be missing something here."

Sam sighs heavily. "Because I like her I shouldn't go near her again."

Lizzy rolls her eyes at this. "Yeah, I believe someone else once said that about the girl he had a thing for too. I can't remember his name exactly… something like Dan, or maybe Dane."

"Sarcasm. Something new," Sam caustically responds of her approach, knowing what she's saying. "You guys are different."

"How are we different?" she challenges right back. "We started as just a couple of people who really liked each other."

"Bullshit," Sam stops her. "You guys were love at first sight… or maybe first fuck really… but still. You were meant to be. Rina and I aren't bound by the will of God. We just like each other."

"Is that all it is? Like?" Lizzy looks to him with narrowed eyes while insinuating that he feels more than he's admitting to her.

"For right now nosy bitch, yes. We like each other," Sam tells her immediately. "Which is fine because the Apocalypse doesn't really leave me time for much more than that."

"Ok, ok," Lizzy holds her hands out. "I get it. Just seems to me there's a lot of potential there."

"And isn't that all I'm ever able to find?" Sam points out while dropping his head back onto the window behind it and closing his eyes again.

"What do you mean?" Lizzy wonders, not following.

"With Jess I found what I am pretty sure was love…"

"Ah… I don't know," Lizzy interrupts. "I'm certainly not trying to tarnish whatever it was you two had but trust me, Sam-I-Am. There is no pretty sure when it comes to love. You know it when you find it. It practically jacks you in the face with its fist."

"But Jess wasn't nothing."

"Oh, no… not what I'm saying," she quickly needs to clarify. "What I'm saying is there's like, there's love, and then there's love. The real deal is unmistakable. I know you loved Jess a lot but… you know it when you feel it."

Sam nods quietly to himself. He agrees completely.

"I did love Jess. And you're right about us. But what I'm trying to say is that all I ever seem to come across is, like you said, potential and then it's… taken away." Sam looks over to her again. "Jess and I could have had a great life together. And when I met Madison, I felt that same thing again. Like there was something more to be had. And then Lou…." He shakes his head and looks down at his hands. "There was just too much potential there. So much it still hurts to know I lost that."

Her heart grows heavy with the thought. They could have been so damn good together and it hurts her too to know what Sam and her Louie both lost out on.

"And now there's Rina," Sam says after sighing. "And there's potential there again."

"I agree," Lizzy tells him. Seeing them together, the way they'd speak to and look at each other. It was something special.

"And now, for obvious reasons, I'm kinda… scared," Sam admits hesitantly. Scared is not a word he utters too often.

"I can completely understand that," Lizzy says as she peers at him with a look of sympathy. "But does that mean you'll never try again?"

Sam doesn't answer at first, just looks at her. His silence answers for him however.

"Wow," Lizzy says sadly. "So to you love is a completely lost cause?"

"With all I've been through… hell yeah it is."

Now it's Lizzy's turn to look away, peering straight across the back seat and out the side window.

"I just… Lizzy, how the hell am I supposed to have faith in that anymore?" Sam asks her seriously. "With all I've lost I can't hack losing another. Most of the time I wish I'd never met Rina. I feel like, in the long run… I can't miss what I never had, right?"

She keeps quiet. It hurts to process what he's telling her.

"And I don't want her to end up dead just like the rest."

This last part he says nearly silently, Lizzy just catching the heartbreaking statement.

"Rina isn't gonna die," Lizzy tries to ensure. "No one knows about the two of you but me. And Dean. No one else knows. I'm not telling anyone. Dean isn't either so nothing's coming for her. And you already made her promise not to utter another word about you to other hunters. She's safe."

Sam nods, knowing out of all the women that have come into his life she's by far the safest of them all.

"Shit, Sam… you can't give up like this," Lizzy tells him. "You can't just give up on love."

"Why not?" Sam asks her, his voice harsh yet clearly needing to have a reason not to lose hope.

"Because," Lizzy starts but words fail her at first. As she tries to explain love in words she realizes how impossible it is.

Sam just shakes his head no, assuming that her pause is a product of him proving his point to her.

"Our lives suck ass," Lizzy tells him. "I hate our lives. I never thought I'd be a hunter for this long or be in this deep. A couple years maybe, ten tops if Louie was still with me. And now… with everything that keeps raining down on us… it's awful. There's no out. I would never wish this life on even the worst of my enemies."

She sighs as Sam stares at her, eyes pained as he listens.

"But I get by. I still wake up every morning, I still dig graves and get my ass kicked by demons and have angels take a steaming shit on whatever good it is I think I have. I get by." She sighs heavily as she prepares to say what she must for him to understand. "It's because I have love. I have a lot of love in my life. I have Bobby who loves me like the daughter he never got to have. I have you," she smiles wide. "You mean the world to me Sam. You do. And you look at me as your own. I know you do and I know you'd do anything for me, as I would you."

Sam grins back small, happy he could do that for her. And she's right.

"But more than that, it's because of Dean," she admits with ease. "I wake up next to him every day of my life and that is how I am able to get out of bed and do my job. He makes me happy, truly happy, even when this life should have broken my spirit completely by now. I… I can't even try to do justice to how much I feel for him. There aren't words. No matter what shit comes flying at me, I will have Dean to turn to. I will have his arms to hold me when I can't hold it together myself anymore. I would die for him in a fucking heartbeat and I know I wouldn't have to think twice about it."

She bites her lip through a smile as she thinks about him. Her Dean makes life worth trying for, worth fighting for, and that's why she's still hanging tough.

"But you don't have that. If there is anything I could give to you to make your life better it'd be to have what I have. I want you to know what it's like. I want you to wake up happy because the person you care about more than you ever thought possible is right next to you. I want you to have someone who depends on you and does any and everything they can to make you happy and good. I want you to have love."

Sam isn't buying it completely. He's had his chances, plenty of them at that, and he's lost out every time.

"If you get out of the whole end of the world shit alive, you better go after her," Lizzy warns. "She's good for you and I know a woman in love when I see one. I saw her looking at you before she dropped you in Memphis. I saw the look in her eyes after having just a few days with you. You can have that, Sam. Lou wasn't you're only shot."

Glancing at her quickly and seeing the sincerity in her expression, Sam considers her words of wisdom. He does have a strong connection to Rina that didn't take very long to develop. And Lizzy might be right. He does see so much possibility in her and in them together.

He clears his throat to cut the tension in the car. "Got a little serious in here."

"Yeah," Lizzy smiles to him. "Guess I was just letting out some stuff I've been thinking about lately."

Sam huffs a quiet laugh and the cab grows silent again.

"Oh I love this fucking song!" Lizzy suddenly cheers as 'Drifting' starts playing. She sits up and leans over the front bench seat to turn the volume up. "Louie loved this one too. She learned it for me when we were in high school. It look her all of an hour, ha."

"I wish I heard her play more than that one time at Bobby's," Sam says as Lizzy sits back on the middle back seat and folds her hands across the seat back. She rests her chin on her forearms and looks at him.

"Me too."

"She was so good."

"She was fucking awesome."

"Beautiful voice," Sam tacks on and sighs with nostalgia. Luckily he can still hear her every once in a great while in his dreams. Her voice sounds exactly how he remembers.

Lizzy smiles while remembering Lou playing her guitar and singing as the two would lounge around on lazy Sundays at home or when on the road. Her best nights once they started hunting were the ones out in Bobby's yard where Lou would play all night as they drank and relaxed. She missed that so much.

"Ah," Lizzy tries to brush aside the sad thoughts. "I wanted to relax when I came out here. Shit got way too heavy for me."

Sam laughs quietly while completely agreeing.

"So…" Lizzy starts as she looks over to Sam with a mischievous smile. "What's Rina like?"

"You know what she's like," Sam answers even though he's pretty sure she didn't mean generalities.

"Not like you do," she wags her eyebrows at him.

"Lizzy…"

"Come on!" Lizzy complains. "You know I'm gonna get you talking eventually so this time let's skip the whole breaking you down spiel and just get down to business. Now, I personally can see her being very reserved, just like in life. She doesn't follow my rule of being the opposite personality in bed than in life, does she?"

Sam huffs and puffs a bit but she makes a good point. He can hold her off and deny her for a while but somehow she always gets her way and makes him talk. He still has no idea how she does it and does think that out of the two of them she should have been the one pursuing a career in law.

"Uh, you're right," Sam answers hesitantly.

"I knew it!" Lizzy glees before Sam finished his full thought.

"Rina is a very reserved girl… or at least she was right up until our few days together."

Lizzy's eyes burst wide as a jaw-dropped grin spreads across her face. "Shut the fuck up! Samuel Winchester, what did you do to her!?"

Sam grins to himself as he remembers his time with Rina when Lizzy and Dean ditched them for a few days. It was perfect.

"Spill it now before I come up there and beat it out of you!"

"Jesus! So fucking angry…" Sam clears his throat and does something he very rarely does unless Lizzy is goading him on; he kisses and tells. "Rina's a good girl in every sense of the word. She's had a pretty simple, whitewashed sex life and I figured she needed to know what she might have been missing."

"Oh please don't hold back on me. I gotta know how you opened her up…. Ah! Literally!"

As Lizzy laughs at her own somewhat lame joke, Sam smiles as he recalls his really excellent nights with Rina. "Well, I got her to talk a bit."

"Ah, dirty talk. I love some good dirty talk. What did she say?"

"I don't really know," Sam admits, knowing he's about to make her too happy. "It was all in Romanian."

The look of surprise shows up on her face again and this time Sam has to laugh.

"She was speaking Romanian to you? While you fucked her?"

"Yes."

"No," Lizzy disbelieves, not being able to picture Rina doing such a thing.

"No lie," Sam reiterates. "The only thing I know for sure that she said was 'fuck me'."

"How did you know that's what she said?"

"I kinda asked her to say it," Sam winces as he tells her, slightly embarrassed.

"Ha!" Lizzy cheers with utter entertainment as she claps her hands together. "I love it! This is fucking awesome."

"Glad you're enjoying it."

"Totally am," she assures. "Wait, what is 'fuck me' in Romanian? You remember?"

"Trage mi."

"Ooh," Lizzy lowers her brow as he so easily recalls the words and the correct way to pronounce them. She closes her eyes. "Ok, picturing Rina's hot ass saying that to me while naked… shit, I'd grow a dick right then and there to make her wish come true. I can totally see how that would be insanely hot."

"Oh, it was," Sam ensure with a big grin. "And you're definitely a fucking lesbo."

"Bisexual, you racist ass," Lizzy calls him out in her own joking way.

"That's not racism," Sam laughs at her.

"Whatever. Don't make fun of my awesome ability to get turned on by chicks now and then."

"Sorry," Sam faux apologizes. "And it is pretty awesome."

"Damn straight. And I'm so getting Dean Rosetta Stone for Christmas now," Lizzy jests though she does think about it. "Ok, what else?"

"Um," Sam stalls a bit, getting his wording ready. "I may have… introduced her to a new use for neckties."

"Yes. Blindfold or tie up?" she instantly asks, needing to know what exactly he did with Rina.

"Both."

"Oh, good man, Sam-I-Am!" Lizzy cheers and reaches over the bench seat to give Sam a high five. "She loved it, didn't she?"

"Oh yeah," Sam emphasizes for effect. Rina really did love it. That wasn't a lie. However Sam might have liked it even more than her. Fuck did she look good blindfolded, tied to the headboard and completely naked.

"That'a boy," she smiles slyly. "So once we left, you two just fucked the whole time?"

"Nah," Sam denies her hope. "We actually spent time together outside of the motel."

"Not a lot though," Lizzy assumes.

"No," Sam agrees and she laughs. "But we went to dinner one night."

"How nice," she coos like the super huge girl that she may or may not be deep down.

"It really was. We talked a lot and it was kinda… I don't know… romantic." Sam's cheeks go red with embarrassment of his word choice.

"You know, I tried to get Dean to actually take me out to dinner one night, like a real dinner to a decent place… instead we ended up with take out on a blanket. We got wasted on a bottle of whiskey and had sex instead of eat."

"Sounds about right," Sam just laughs at her response.

"Yeah," Lizzy nearly sighs. "I mean don't get me wrong, the sex was awesome. There's always something about being out in the open and risking getting caught that's just fucking fun. But it wasn't what I was looking for. He's just not much of a romantic, that brother of yours."

"Never has been… though I think that he thinks he is," Sam tells her. "Where you saw a failed night out and having sex outside, Dean saw a picnic dinner just the two of you."

"Wait," Lizzy huffs. "He thought that was romantic?"

Sam just shrugs his shoulder to answer yes.

"Fucking hell," Lizzy shakes her head with a smile. "As much as he's given you advice about girls when you were younger, maybe he needs to listen to you about how to be honestly romantic now that you're both older."

"Lizzy, we were raised by a father that hit on anything with tits just like Dean did for years. Dad was his hero and he's just like him. It's not his fault that he never had the finer points passed down."

"But you were raised by that same dude," she rebuts. "And you seem to understand the concept of being sweet sometimes."

Sam nods, not verbally answering as he mulls it over. Maybe he will talk to Dean. They all may not have much time left and with all Lizzy does for Dean she deserves a little reminder that he loves her as much as he does every great now and then… and not with some excuse to have sex.

"Eh, maybe I'm just being ridiculous. I already have something bigger than most ever get to experience. That should be more than enough. And I've always known just who Dean is."

"And he's always know just who you are too, though," Sam reminds, playing devil's advocate a little bit.

"Yeah," Lizzy answers back.

Right then and there Sam's made his decision. He needs to talk to that dumbass brother of his.