Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter.
And hello to all the new readers.
*Bpov*
Walking into the apartment, I saw Jasper in the living room working on his laptop.
"Hey, little sis."
"Hi."
I dropped my bag down on the floor and quickly sat down next to him on the sofa.
"How did it go with Dad?"
That was a loaded question.
I blew out a deep breath.
"Good ... bad ... I don't really know."
He turned, facing me.
"Tell me what's going on."
"Nash made arrangements so that I can start school this fall."
"And that's a bad thing?" he asked, frowning.
I slowly shook my head.
"School, as in, Arizona, Jasper ... not here."
"I see," he said, looking around the room. "And you don't want to go back?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"I do, but … I like being here, too."
With Edward.
I kept that part to myself, not knowing if it was a safe topic to discuss with him. "It'll be hard to just up and leave you guys."
"Bella, is this about Edward?" he asked.
I sat up a little straighter, willing back the tears that threatened to surface, and then I glanced down the hallway, unsure if anyone else was here.
"Edward is at the gym. It's just you and me," he softly said, taking my hand. "You don't have to hide it anymore, I know something is going on between the two of you. I just don't know how deep you're into things with him."
"We're not in that deep, Jasper," I whispered, hoping I wouldn't actually have to tell him that we hadn't had sex. "I mean we haven't ..."
He squeezed my hand.
"You can spare all those details, Bella," he said. "What I meant was … well … can I just tell you my thoughts about the situation?"
I nodded, shifting into a more comfortable position.
"Okay, so I know some of what he's planning to do after talking to Nash. Edward should have done this way before now. But I know that things are going to get even more complicated after it's done. Rose is a relentless bitch. If she can find anything that will nail his ass to the wall, she'll use it against him." He paused before continuing. "And please don't take this the wrong way … but I think your leaving is the best thing for him right now."
My stomach dropped at his last words, and I couldn't hold back the tears any longer.
He grabbed both of my hands.
"Bella, look at me, please," he pleaded, but I didn't want to, so I stared at our hands. "Okay, then keep listening to me. Edward is a stubborn son-of-a-bitch. He fights for what he wants, but back when Rose threatened him about visitation, he was scared shitless-I was there. He didn't want to lose his daughter; it was a means to an end. And now … well … He's found someone else worth fighting for, and he's trying to find a way not to lose her, too. But if he doesn't play his cards the right way, he could lose them both."
"Then how could you tell me to walk away from him?" I whispered, pulling away out of his grasp.
"I'm not ... believe me." he said, shaking his head. "I'm saying that you both should let the situation play out, instead of playing a dangerous game of risk." He scooted closer, gripping my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Bella, if you guys get caught … he'll be forced to make a choice … and it won't be you."
A fresh, forceful, round of tears flowed down my face, and my heart shattered at the thought of losing Edward, no matter the circumstances. I'd never been a selfish person, but at that moment, I wished there were no Grace; then, instantly hated myself for such an awful thought.
Jasper wrapped his arms around me, holding me tighter when I tried to pull back.
"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered. "So ... so sorry."
Refusing to hear anything more he had to say, I tore myself from his arms and ran to my room, seeking solace in my bed, under the covers, where I cried myself to sleep.
I woke up in darkness, surrounded by warmth. Someone's arm was draped around my waist, holding my hand, and our fingers were interlocked. When I gently shifted for a look at who was behind me, their body pressed closer to mine.
"It's me, Bella," he whispered, placing a kiss just under my ear.
It was Edward.
Suddenly, my conversation with Jasper flooded my mind, and my chest tightened. Within seconds, tears welled in my eyes, and I found it hard to breathe.
"Let it out, baby," Edward said. "I've got you."
"For now," I whispered, closing my eyes, letting the teardrops hit my pillow.
He sighed, pulling me impossibly closer to his chest.
We stayed like that, wrapped in our own cocoon, for what seemed like hours, embracing the seclusion from the rest of the world; my quiet cries and Edward's breathing the only sounds in the room.
"I spoke to Jasper when I came home," he said, gently rubbing the soft skin between my thumb and forefinger. "He told me what was said ... and we need to talk about it."
"If you guys get caught … he'll be forced to make a choice … and it won't be you."
I shook my head as Jasper's words came back to me. I wasn't ready for any kind of goodbye.
"Bella, I'm not ... I don't want...," he said, clearing his throat. "I don't want you to leave ... but you should go."
His words broke any hope I had that Jasper was wrong.
I cried harder and tried breaking away from his hold, but he held me even tighter.
"Bella, stop," he quietly commanded, his hand gripping my chin, trying to force me to face him, "please look at me."
Too weak to fight, I gave in and turned over.
His eyes glistened in the moonlight pouring through the window.
"Hear me out, okay?" he pleaded. I blinked away the wetness in my eyes but remained silent. "What I meant was … That you should take Nash up on his offer … Go to school like you had planned. And while you're there, I'll be here ... doing everything I can to make sure when you come back that you won't ever have to leave me again."
God I wanted that more than anything in the world.
I wanted to believe that Edward had the power to make that happen, but was it false hope? And the mere thought that he might ever have to choose between me or Grace made me sick. I'd never want him in that position.
And could this thing between us, however small, survive a distance so great?
"Fifteen hundred miles," I whispered, rubbing his jaw line with my thumb. "What if it's too far?"
He shook his head.
"You'll never be too far away, Bella," he said. "It's a three-hour flight."
I smiled.
"You've already thought this through?"
He nodded.
"The whole time you were asleep."
Hope's light was back on, shining brighter by the minute.
I looked down, noticing he was shirtless, only wearing a pair of running shorts.
"You want me enough to do that?" I mumbled, lifting my eyes to his.
My heart began pounding as the intensity in his eyes deepened.
He carefully maneuvered his body over me, nudging my legs apart, his eyes never leaving mine.
"Baby," he said in my ear, settling between my thighs, "I want you." He proved himself, pushing his groin into mine, rubbing his hardness against my center at an agonizingly, determined pace, over and over. "I want you in so many ways ... ones I can't have yet ... someday."
"Edward," I panted, wrapping my arms around his back, moving my hips with his.
"Shhhh..." he whispered, kissing my neck, "just feel it with me."
The next morning, wrapped in Edward's arms, I realized it didn't matter if I stayed or not … either way was a game of chance. But considering our hearts were at stake, the safest bet was fifteen-hundred miles away.
"We have three days," I said. "What are we going to do until I leave?"
"A lot more of what we did last night," Edward mumbled into my hair.
I bit my lip as naughty images filtered their way into my thoughts.
"Really?" I asked, rubbing my backside against him.
"Damn, Bella," he said, laughing and holding me tighter. "Talking ... I meant talking, but yeah ... we can do more of that, too."
I wished we could stay like this forever.
My heart already missed him, but for now, we were here, and that had to be enough.
Thank you all so much!
Until next time...Jenn
