Y'know, some mashed potatoes don't sound bad right now...Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhh, I'm trying to cram all this 'one world' stuff into one chapter, so don't be fooled by how many words there are!
Some where in the eastern part of space, a village was burning down. Some weird creepy looking guy with deranged eyes looked at the damage and smiled. "See that, Mulan? It's Shan-Yu, leader of the Hun army. C'mon girl, this is your big chance! I can see it now: Fa-Mulan whups public number one's ass! You gonna be famous! I'm talking A-list on the spot!" Mushu explained. "Mushu, I'm not sure...I haven't even joined the army yet. I have to take my father's place. I just hope I don't get caught" Mulan explained. "Whatever, you just scared! Admit it!" he pointed. "Aren't you?" she asked. "SEE! You are scared!" Mushu pointed. "I'm hungry!" Sora complained. "Shut up! You just ate all of the Pockies we had!" Donald looked back at him. "I want chicken!" Sora shouted. "Lets just keep walkin fellas" Goofy tried to calm them down.
Just then, they noticed a demon like shadow on a rock. "A Heartless?" Donald asked. "Lets get the jump on im" Sora nodded. "Gwarsh, maybe we should look before we leap!" Goofy called after them. "You wanna piece of me Heartless sucka!" Sora ran at the rock, only to trip on a bug. And that's when Mushu jumped into Mulan's arms out of fright. "Is that Mushu?" Goofy asked. "That's right! I know you've heard of me! I'm little, lethal, and legendary! So y'all better scram before I get my dander up!" Mushu pointed. "We missed you, Mushy!" Sora smiled. "Well you better hope I miss-Sora! Donald! Goofy!" Mushu looked at the three. "How's my little dragon buddy?" Sora asked.
"Do you know them?" Mulan asked. "Know them? We used to kick Heartless butt all the time! Yeah, I helped these guys out of a lot of tight spots. Cause I'm a mighty dragon, right?" he leaned against Sora's shoe. "Well..." Sora thought back. "C'mon Mushu! Light the fire!" Sora said anxiously. "I'm tryin!" Mushu tried to puff out some sparks. "Y'know you have fire magic, right?" Donald asked. "No time for joking, Donald!" Sora looked back at him. "Sure" Sora said dazed. "And..you are?" Sora asked. "I'm Mulan-I mean..." "Ping!" Mushu cut her off. "Mulan Ping?" Donald crossed his arms. "Just Ping. I am Ping, son of Fa Zhou" she turned her voice sorta manly. "You know Mushu?" Sora asked. "Mushu is one of my family's guardians" he/she explains (While she's Ping, I'll just call her a he to make things easier). "We didn't know we were borrowing a family guardian" Goofy stepped forward. "Yeah, dat's right! And that puts you three up to your eyeballs in debt to Ping here! Well guess what, kiddies? It's payback time!" Mushu climbed up onto Ping's shoulder. "Mushu" Ping sighed. "They don't mind. Ain't that right?" Mushu asked. "Sounds fair, I guess" Sora pouted. "See Ping was just about to join the army" Mushu explained. "Would you join us? It'd be easier to fit in with guys like you" he asked. "Fit in?" Sora raised an eyebrow. "Don't worry about that" Mushu said nervously. "You're pretending to be a boy aren't ya?" Goofy asked. "You're a...girl?" Sora and Donald looked at her in disbelief. "You didn't notice?" Ping smiled. "I need to get my eyes checked" Sora shook his head. "Think it's working" he looked up to Mushu. "Nah! Those three would fall for anything" Mushu shook his head as they began to walk along. "Hey! I'm not the smartest person in the world y'know!" Sora called back. "I think we all know that" Donald walked past him.
-At the camp- Sora and the others walked along casually. "Remember girl, manly!" Mushu whispered to Ping. Stupidly, he put his legs together and tried hard not to swing his hips. "What's in this line?" Sora walked up behind tall guy. "Bout time we got some grub!" a short man with a black eye cut in front of Sora. "Hey! No cuts, no butts, no coconuts!" Sora pointed. The man turned around and punched Sora right in the face. Automatically, Sora let out a demonic growl as Donald tackled down the man. "Hey, a spot in line!" a skinny guy walked over. "I wonder what they're serving for lunch today" a huge fat guy walked between them. "Knuckle sandwiches!" the short one jumped at them. "That does it!" Sora jumped at the short guy and began to pull at his hair. "Please!" Ping shouted. "Please?" the skinny guy repeated with a disgusted look. "And thank you" Sora smiled. "What a girl!" the short one laughed. "Knock it off!" Ping cleared his throat. "Knock what off?" the short one asked. "Let's just get back in line, okay?" Ping said. "Who side are you on? I just got child abused!" Sora asked. "Want some more?" the short one asked. "Get back in line, maggots!" the captain walked along them (Some how, the captain didn't notice that there was a weird dog like thing and a duck guy in his camp?). Suddenly, some Heartless came out of the ground. "Oh yeah" the skinny guy said and then ran off with the other three. "Ping, I hope you got skills!" Sora got ready to fight.
-After the fight- "Your skills are impressive" Shang looked at Sora and the other three. "I get it from my mommy and daddy" Sora said in a cute little tone. "I am Ping of-" "You should leave" Shang interrupted Ping. "But that would dishonor my family!" he cameback. "Would you rather dishonor my troops?" Shang asked. "Hey guys, do you suddenly here some type of marching music?" Sora asked the other two. "Let's get down to business, to defeat, the Huns!" Shang began to sing to the music. All the troops lined up. "Did they send their daughters, when I asked, for sons?" Shang began to walk past them. "I'm no girly man!" Sora shouted. "You're the saddist bunch, I've ever met, but you can bet, before we're through. Mr. I'll, Make a Man, Outta You!" Shang walked up to Ping's face. "Tranquil, as a forest, but a fire, within!" Shang raced up a mountain, carrying some jugs of water, with the others trying to do the same. Sora and the others can be seen almost the last behind. "How come he gets to sing?" Sora asked.
Behind, Ping is just as bad. "Once you find your center, you are sure, to win!" Shang waited for the rest. "You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot and you haven't got a clue. Some how I'll, make a man outta you!" he looked at them as Sora threw his jug down outta fury. "I'm never gonna catch my breath!" the skinny guy (I don't remeber their names, okay!) said as he ran through some fire torched arrows. "Say goodbye to those who knew me!" the short guy had his but on fire. "Boy was I a fool at school, for cutting gym!" the skinny guy tripped. "This guy got scared to death!" Mushu pointed to a dead guy. "Hope he doesn't see right through me!" Ping sighed. "Looks like my chance of living is looking pretty slim!" Sora sang as he tried to jump on the poles, but fell. "Be a man! You must be swift as coursing river!" Shang sang as Sora got carried down a river. "With all the force of a great typhoon!" he sang as Goofy got blown off a cliff. "With the strength of a raging fire. Myseterious as the dark side of the moon!" Shang sung as Donald was being cooked by the trio from before. "Time is racing toward us, before the Huns, arrive!" Shang said as everybody sat before him looking very tired and beaten.
"Heed my every order! And you might survive!" he made a fist at Sora who was huggling his Riku plush. "You're a stupid boy, for the rage of war. So pack up, go home, you're through! How could I, make a man, outta you?" he threw Ping's stuff to Ping of course. But that's when Sora and the others decide to help him out. "Be a man! You must be swift as a coursing river!" they tried the pole thing again and started to get the hang of it. "With all the force of a great typhoon!" they try to carry the jugs up the mountain again. "With all the strength of a raging fire! Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!" they try to run through the arrows and barley get through. The music breaks down as Sora can be seen backflipping across the poles to land. Donald can be seen getting through the arrows without a scratch, and Goofy can be seen running up the mountain with Ping. It all ends with all of the troops up in the air, making a punching pose (You gotta love that song!).
-At the mountain top- "Good job troops" Shang nodded and then walked off. "I still want my own song" Sora pouted. "You'll never guess what I found out!" Mushu ran over. "What?" the others turned to him. "Shan Yu is in the cave right outside the village. "You'd think somebody notice" Sora peeked at where the cave was. "Why don't you guys go after him? That way you'll get even more notice!" Mushu suggested. "Will there be toast involved?" Sora asked. "Uh...sure" he shrugged. "Lets go!" Sora grabbed Ping's hand and ran into the cave. They found nothing, but a stinkin platter of Heartless al a Crap! "You suck at fighting with all that armor on" Sora wrapped his head with some bandages. "So what do we tell the captain?" Sora asked. "We tell him, that Ping, single handedly defeated a swarm of Heartless" Mushu guessed. "And what about my toast?" Sora asked. "Lets just go back to the village" Mushu began to walk back with the others following. They find that the whole village is burned down. "Captain, the enemy, where did they go?" Ping asked. "To the summit" Shang laid against the wall. "We'll stop em" he nodded. "It kinda is our fault" Goofy scratched the back of his head. "No, it's your fault! Now lets get to that summit!" Sora started for the summit.
After throwing a few people off the cliff, they reached the summit. Shan Yu stood at the stop and summoned his helicopter headed Heartless towards them. "Well, at least they're not that bad" Sora shrugged. Just then, behind the Heartless was...a line of angry snowmen (Please excuse my cake induced thoughts)! "Alimbal LIEEE!" Sora charged with his horrid battle cry. With only one minute to fight, Sora took care of some of the helicopters, but the snowmen almost got the best of him. Another line of the helicopters followed as Shan Yu ran down the hill and towards the bunch. "Let us handle it" the trio from before just happened to come along at random. Ping gets an idea and steals the firework and sets it to the ground. Grabbing Mushu, she lights it and aims at the mountain. "You missed! How could you miss? He was right in front of you!" Mushu yelled as he hit the mountain. An avalanche started and almost everybody was consumed within it, except for Sora who happeneed to have been sledding down the slope.
"Do it again!" Sora said once he reached the bottom. "Look out!" Ping pushed the captain, who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, outta the way. "You saved my life" he looked at Ping. "It was nothing" Ping shook his head. "Thanks to you, you have my full gratitude" the captain helped him up. Mushu just happen to pop outta the snow and started to walk over to them. "First she uses me as a lighter, than as a missle. I can't take this anymore! Lets go home, Mulan. Les go girl" Mushu blurted out. "Mulan? A woman?" Shang turned to Ping who was looking the other way. "Who's up for snow comes?" Sora came running over. "You knew, didn't you?" Shang glared at them. "Okay! I stole Riku's secret stash of happy pills, okay!" Sora fell to his knees. "You knew Ping was a woman!" he looked back over to him. "Oh, yeah" Sora shrugged. "The punishment of treason is death" the captain turned around. "Get out of my sight, all of you. You're dismissed" Shang began to walk away. "Oh yeah! Well, I didn't see you fight anybody!" Sora shouted.
Mulan took off her armor and undid her hair. "Thanks for helping out everyone" she turned to the trio. "Aww, it was nothin" Sora smiled. "You know your dad's gonna be as steamed as a chicken dumpling" Mushu sighed. "Yeah, I know" she sighed. "We'll take part of the blame, but mostly they will!" Sora held Donald and Goofy close to him. "Thanks guys" she smiled. As they walked off the summit, Shan Yu popped out of the snow like a zombie. Looking around, he let out a cry. "I didn't do it!" Sora began to run around in circles. Mulan looked to the cliff to see Shan Yu climbing down. "He's heading for the city! We've got to warn Shang" she looked to the others. "Awwwwww!" Sora complained. -At the city- "Shang! Shan Yu, he's still alive!" Mulan ran up to him. "And why should I believe you?" he asked. "Because if you don't believe her, you can believe my foot kicking your ass!" Sora walked up to him. "There he is!" Donald pointed to a completely noticeable guy on one of the roofs. "Quick, guard the emperor!" Shang told his troops, but only the odd trio went up there while the others turned into Nightwalkers.
"We'll handle them! You go protect the emperor" Sora and Mulan got infront of Shang. "That's an order, maggot!" Donald shouted. After taking care of the weirdos, they walked up to the enemy. "Not so fast, sucka!" Sora pointed. While Shan Yu was distracted by Sora, who was trying to dance, Shang got hold of the emperor and brought him inside. Shang Yu tried to run after them, but Sora slammed the door on Shang's foot and prepared to fight. "You can't over power me!" Shan Yu said as Sora tried to push him away while the others tried to fight off his bird. "Watch me!" Sora threw a dead rat at his face. Shan backed up in horror while Sora pulled off the finishing move of...grabbing hold of Shan's leg and breaking it.
-Later- "I have heard a great deal of you Fa Mulan. You stole your father's armor, ran away from home" the emperor said as she bowed before him. "We get the picture grandpa!" Sora sighed. "But, you have saved us all" the emperor bowed before her. Behind her, everybody in the city bowed. "Take this sword, so the world will know what you have done for China" the emperor handed Shan's horrid crooked sword to her. "Do you have something to say, Captain Shang?" the emperor asked. "Uh...thanks" he answered. "Thanks? Is that all there is to say? You must try harder if you wish to win the heart of Fa Mulan" the emperor chuckled as Shang looked away nervously. Randomly, the sword began to glow and float (Like a bird!) into the air. Sora gasped and then pulled the Keyblade outta nowhere. Finally, he sealed the Keyhole. "Now they gotta let me go back to being a guardian!" Mushu walked over. "But we thought you were already a guardian" Goofy looked over to him. "Oh, well, that's all technical stuff!" "You tricked us! You little lizard!" Sora began to chase him. "Thank you, Sora, Donald, Goofy" Mulan chuckled. "It's what I do when I'm bored!" Sora waved as they walked off the steps.
