Chapter Eleven
Ed made sure the coast was clear before he could sneak the vomit filled Tupperware into the bathroom where he could dispose of the mess and clean out the plastic container. Sure it had caused the room to smell, though he had managed to disguise it somewhat with some of the cologne that Havoc had given him as a gag gift on his last birthday, and as long as no one other than Al came into the room, everything would be fine.
When the Tupperware had been cleaned as much as Edward could manage, he stuck the plastic container back underneath the bed, ready for the next time he might need it.
"Ed," Hughes called from downstairs. "Come on, it's time for breakfast." Edward knew this was his chance to further solidify that he was 'better'. The others believing that nothing was wrong was for the best.
Edward made his way downstairs, sitting at the table with the others. Even though Alphonse never ate, he was always there.
"Brother, I was thinking…" Alphonse mentioned. "Maybe we could go back to Resembool when you were better. You know, to visit Winry and Granny."
"Ed…?" Winry asked with wide eyes. "What are you doing to yourself?" the girl asked as she watched Edward hunched over a toilet with two fingers down his throat. "What are you doing?"
"Maybe," Ed simply stated, eating the food that Gracia served. When he was finished with the food, he helped Gracia do the dishes while Hughes left for work and Alphonse kept Elysia entertained. He quickly finished helping Gracia before running off to his room to use the Tupperware. It was the perfect opportunity with everyone else being busy.
Afterward, no one suspected a thing.
Ed went on with his usual day in the Hughes household with some extra observations from his brother. Of course Alphonse would be worried about him after he had admitted that he had Bulimia. They would be watching him until he could prove he was "better", but apparently, he was doing an all right job of so far.
When Hughes returned from work that day, everything seemed normal.
When Mustang made a visit over the weekend, he said Edward looked good. That he looked better.
But Ed knew the real secret; he kept it to himself when Mustang assigned him back on missions.
He stayed silent when Mustang finally let him travel again.
LINE BREAK.
"Edward…" Hohenheim trailed off when the teenager – a young adult now, he had just turned eighteen – walked into Pinako's house. He sported a ponytail, automail limbs, and was taller than he used to be, though even with those new additions, the boy just looked different.
Hohenheim noticed that what he had seen in the eyes of his young boy who used to run to him and Trisha, holding onto his father's legs and telling him about what he had done during the day with Winry and Alphonse, was not in the eyes of this boy. Hohenheim had spoken to Mustang about the boy before, and the colonel did mention that Edward had faced quite a bit in his years, but nothing more than that. It was Edward's story to tell, not Mustang's.
"You look different," Hohenheim commented.
"Maybe it's because I'm not five anymore," Ed responded with a roll of the eyes. "Look, I'm just here to grab some things for Al. Even though my clothes will be baggy on him, he can still wear them instead of that ridiculous hospital gown." Edward had finally just returned Alphonse's body, and the younger of the two was extremely thin and frail.
"I'll join you to the hospital," Hohenheim said. "Winry baked an apple pie for him with a Mrs. Gracia's recipe, and she wanted me to deliver it for her."
"She won't bring it herself?" Ed asked.
"She said she has a last minute rush order for an automail piece," Hohenheim answered. He lifted the basket that contained the pie as Edward grabbed a bag of clothing. They walked out the door together.
All was silent for a few moments before Hohenheim spoke up.
"Your hair looks different," Hohenheim said. "Lighter than it did before. Did you dye it?"
"Why would I dye it?" Ed asked with furrowed eyebrows. "I'm not some girl that worries about how she looks or anything."
"You wouldn't have to be; you've grown up handsome," Hohenheim commented. "Your mother would be proud."
"Not really," Edward said. He was past the days of raging whenever someone – especially Hohenheim – mentioned his mother. It still hurt sometimes, but it had been his life for eight years. He had time to adjust.
"Why do you say that?" Hohenheim asked.
"Because of what I did," Ed said. What I'm still doing, he thought to himself.
"She wouldn't be angry. She would've forgiven you for anything you've done over the past," Hohenheim said. "Speaking of the past, the colonel did mention to me that you've been through a few issues in the past. He wouldn't speak more; care to share?"
"Not to you or any other therapist Winry's tried to set me up with," Edward responded.
"Why would you need a therapist?" Hohenheim asked.
"Ask someone else." The two finally arrived at the hospital, walking straight to Alphonse's hospital room – Edward had memorized the room number. It helped that there weren't that many rooms in the small-town hospital.
"Brother!" Alphonse exclaimed when Ed walked into the room. "I didn't know how long you were going to be gone."
"I meant to be back before you woke," Edward said. "And don't strain yourself too much. You're still pretty weak from everything that was going on."
"I feel amazing," Alphonse said. "You have no idea how great antiseptic smells."
"If you had a nose with all the times I've been in the hospital, you would know the horrors," Ed said with a laugh. Hohenheim just watched the two, sitting in a chair beside the bed as Edward pulled out clothing from the bag he had packed.
"I brought you some things to wear instead of those stupid hospital clothes," Edward mentioned. "I know how uncomfortable and scratchy they must feel."
"Uncomfortable and scratchy is better than nothing," Al said.
"Right…" Ed trailed off. "Anyway, I spoke to your doctors this morning and they said they would be releasing you today as soon as I sign the papers. How cool is that?" Alphonse smiled.
"The three of us should share some of this delicious apple pie that Winry brought first, though," Hohenheim said, presenting the basket on the small table that was connected to Al's hospital bed.
"That sounds great," Alphonse said. Hohenheim found a plastic knife and some plastic plates from the nurse's station before cutting three pieces out of the pie before handing two of them to the boys. Alphonse took his with a, "thank you," and began to eat it as soon as it was in his hands, savoring every bite.
Edward, though, was the one who caught Hohenheim's attention. He took the pie hesitantly and stared down at the food as though it were poisoned. Hohenheim almost joked about it, though noticed that there really was some sort of emotion in Ed's eyes that he couldn't quite pinpoint. Soon enough, the eldest Elric brother began to eat the pie.
"This is amazing," Al said. "I'll have to thank Winry for this. Where is she?"
"Last minute automail rush order," Edward said, repeating Hohenheim's words from earlier. "I'll take the plates to the nurse's station to try and get rid of them." He then stood, taking the empty plates from the others.
"Brother…" Alphonse trailed off, looking up at his brother. "You're all right, aren't you?"
"I'm fine, why?" Ed asked.
"I don't know; I think I've just been thinking too much," Alphonse shrugged it off. "You go take those plates."
"Who are you, the colonel?" Edward joked, taking the plates out of the room.
"Is there something wrong that I should know about?" Hohenheim asked, worried about his eldest son, who seemed to be acting a bit strange. Hohenheim knew if he mentioned this to Edward, he would just be yelled at for not being around to actually know what strange acting was for Edward. Though, Alphonse appeared to be having these feelings as well.
"Not yet," Al said quietly. Ed was gone for quite a few minutes before returning. "That took a little while, brother."
"Yeah, you wouldn't believe how hard that nurse's station is to find," Edward fibbed before he sat beside Alphonse's bed once again.
Hohenheim had caught his son in that lie. He had clearly seen Edward at the nurse's station before when he had visited, and knew that the younger blonde knew where it was. Ed wasn't a fool; he could read a directory, which was framed on the walls of every hallway.
"Hey, I'm gonna get you out of here," Ed said. "I meant to sign the papers while I was out there, but I got a little distracted. I'm gonna do that now and we can get you back home." The blonde was quick to leave once again.
"Do you need my help to dress in the clothes Edward brought for you?" Hohenheim asked. Alphonse shook his head, causing the father to look at the youngest warily.
"If I need any help, I have a nurse's button. They'll come running if I press it," Al assured. Hohenheim nodded, walking out of the room and after Edward.
Hohenheim caught up to his son, grabbing his arm.
"Why were you lying back there?" Hohenheim asked.
"Hey!" Ed groaned, pulling his arm back to his body and cradling it protectively. "Why aren't you with Al? You can't just leave him by himself to come after me!"
"You're deflecting," Hoehenheim said. "Tell me why you were lying."
"What are you, a therapist?" Edward asked. "I wasn't lying; I was really looking for the nurse's station."
"It wouldn't have taken you that long; you've seen the directory before, and you've been to the nurse's station," Hohenheim said. "So why did you take so long and then lie? You were covering something up; I know it."
"I wasn't covering anything up." Edward's glare pierced through his father. "I suggest that if you want to come back to Winry's house with us, you'll not press the issue any further." The eldest Elric brother then walked away.
He had just been reinstated as a State Alchemist. Winry was still in town after the incident with Barry the Chopper. Edward was feeling incredibly stressed since the incident, feeling powerless to do anything. He was lucky to have the small relief he did with eating the sweets he hid underneath his bed. It was easy enough at Hughes' house with everyone being busy after Elysia being born.
Ed had just finished eating the box of chocolate that he had hidden underneath his bed. Alphonse was in the other room with Elysia and Winry. Winry was cooing over the newborn baby and Alphonse was fascinated at the thought of something being born, like any boy his age would be. Gracia was with the two as well.
Edward soon found himself vomiting the chocolate he had eaten into the toilet. The relief he was filled with satisfied him enough to get through the day. Just enough for the day; the coming days would be much harder.
"Ed…?" Winry asked with wide eyes. "What are you doing to yourself?" the girl asked as she watched Edward hunched over a toilet with two fingers down his throat. "What are you doing?"
Ed thought she had been in the other room. He thought she was still marveling over how adorable the new baby was. He thought she wouldn't see him like this.
But she did.
Winry saw Edward's most inner darkest secret. Something not even Alphonse knew.
And now she knew.
"Winry, don't tell…" Ed trailed off. "Please don't tell, please don't tell."
"But, Ed…" Winry brought a hand to her mouth in shock. "You're hurting yourself like this. You're going to kill yourself."
"I'm not doing it anymore," Edward fibbed. "This was just something I read about. Some girls said it made them feel better in a dumb magazine. It was stupid; it didn't work." The lies were rolling off his tongue easier and easier these days.
Whether Winry bought it or was in denial on what had happened, Ed didn't know. He just knew that she had never told anyone, and he continued to go on with his dirty little secret.
"Ed?" Winry asked at the dinner table with a worried expression. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," Edward responded. He realized he must have zoned out at the dinner table, being trapped in his own thoughts. With a glance around, he realized the others were looking at him as well. Because it was Alphonse's first night home, he was being treated to a protein heavy meal, which would help him in his recovery. Hohenheim was there as well, along with Pinako and Winry, of course. "I was just thinking of how I would need to go back to Central soon. There's some things I need to tie up with the colonel about my certification as a State Alchemist."
"Are you going to resign?" Winry asked. "I mean, you don't really have to be there anymore. You got Al's body back."
"I was thinking about maybe signing on for another couple of years," Ed said. "Alphonse could stay here and I could go back and make some money to help with him. Being a State Alchemist was something I always was, maybe it's what I'm meant to do."
"Come on, Ed, that's bull and you know it," Winry said. "You're not meant to do anything; you can do whatever you want with your life!"
"You just go talk to the colonel about it, brother," Alphonse commented. "He'll probably have some good advice; he's been a really good role model for you."
"I'm going to talk to him and see what happens," Edward said. "And if I want to stay a State Alchemist, I will. If I don't want to, I won't. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm not very hungry." Ed stood from the table, washing his dishes and putting them away. As he passed the table, he placed a hand on Alphonse's shoulder. "You'll get to bed all right?"
"Of course, brother; I'm not an invalid," Al said. "Go to bed; I know you've had a long night."
"Night, guys," Ed said before he walked to the bathroom instead of his bedroom. He shared his bedroom with Alphonse, and no one even paid attention to how long he was in the bathroom or what he was doing in there anymore. Well, Hohenheim was becoming a bit of a nuisance, but no one had any proof that he was right about anything.
It didn't take long for Edward to purge the little dinner he had eaten into the toilet and flush it, pretending to have gone to the bathroom. After that, he ran the sink, appearing to be washing his hands.
He pulled out a razor.
