Part Eleven
Mary stared blankly at Matthew, hardly able to take in his gentle eyes as he looked back at her, as though she was the only other person in the room. Pulse pounded in her ears, her stomach feeling as though it had been filled with lead.
What was he thinking? Springing such a thing on her when they'd only known about the pregnancy for a week, had only reconciled a week ago.
"We've only been back together for a week," she managed to say, a frown etched on her face.
"Mary," he began, turning in his chair until his body faced her. He cupped her face in one hand, ignoring her parents. "I love you."
Her throat felt dry, but she couldn't ascertain her own feelings on the subject after overcoming the immediate surprise, as Robert's indignant scoff pulled the two of them back to a shaky reality.
"Marriage?" he laughed, one that displayed his clear disdain. "You must be joking. Do you even have a ring?"
"Robert—" Cora interjected tensely.
"Not with me," Matthew murmured, dropped Mary's gaze and his hand from her face. Robert ignored his response, looking like was about to speak again, but Cora silenced him.
Mary couldn't ignore such a proposal.
"Matthew, we haven't even talked about this," she said, voice quaking with nerves. She could feel her father's stony gaze on them both.
"Well, let's talk about it now," he insisted.
"This isn't exactly the best time," Mary replied.
"Yes, this entire conversation, the whole evening, is not exactly occurring at 'the best time'," Robert barked with sarcasm. "Perhaps you should have thought about that before you decided to sleep with him!"
"Robert, calm down, this isn't helping," Cora said authoritatively, but Mary felt something inside her snap.
"Papa, I can't believe you! Only days ago you were speaking to me about how you were 'glad Matthew had found someone to settle down with', how you 'couldn't believe it took him ten years to convince her'. God! You're infuriating, with your double-standards and stupid rules," she retorted hotly, getting to her feet.
"Mary Josephine—" her father began angrily.
"No, Papa, don't you dare. I'm an adult, despite the fact that you can't see that. I can make my own decisions!"
She stormed out of the room, no idea where her feet were taking her. Soon she found herself at the toilets, pushing into the ladies' room without thinking, locking herself in one of the empty stalls.
A few minutes passed as Mary took control of her ragged breathing, hunched forward on the toilet lid with her arms wrapped around her middle. The outer door swung open, Cora's voice heard over her shallow breaths,
"Mary?"
She reached forward and unlocked the stall, peeking out at her mother. "In here," she mumbled.
Cora frowned, leaning against the wall as she stood in the doorway, gazing down at Mary.
"Please, don't say it," Mary whispered, wiping at her eyes.
"Say what?" Cora asked.
"I know I've been a disappointment to you both. God, have I! But Papa is so infuriating. Only a month ago at dinner it was: Matthew this. Matthew that. Matthew, Matthew, Matthew. He can posture all he likes, but I know it's me he despises now, not Matthew," Mary said.
"Your father loves you very much," Cora insisted. Crouching precariously in front of her daughter, she took Mary's hands.
"But Matthew's been the son he always wanted, he said so himself years ago! Every slight he gives to him is really directed at me."
"He's harsher with you because he loves you more," her mother said, her words hardly making Mary feel any better. "You know he's never been skilled at showing affection and you have behaved rather childishly."
"You're no better," Mary replied tearfully. "God, don't you think I know how much you wish I wasn't your daughter right now? That you wish I was more like Sybil or even Edith?"
"Mary!" Cora scolded.
"I wish you'd just admit it! I'm a lost soul to you! Pregnant and unmarried, bearing the child of my father's beloved prodigy!" she sobbed.
Cora's grip tightened on her fingers, forcing Mary to look up into her mother's face. "Darling, I don't pretend things are rather bad right now. The situation is not..ideal, but that does not mean I don't love you and that I won't support you in this."
Mary leaned her face into her mother's shoulder. "Oh, Mama, I was terrified when I found out about the baby."
"And now?" Cora asked gently.
She leaned back, wiping her cheeks. "I almost can't believe it, but I…I'm at peace with it. Still nervous, but it's a baby. My child. Matthew's and mine," Mary whispered, a small smile on her face.
"And what about Matthew?" Cora questioned.
"Mama, if you both realized how much he's stepped up. He really has taken responsibility for everything. He's the one who wanted this dinner, wanted Papa to know about us. I just didn't realize he'd want to marry me."
Her mother knit her brows together. "We've all been rather blind when it comes to Matthew. Not that I can condone a twenty-one year old falling in love with my sixteen-year-old child, but if he's really been in love with you for ten years, I can't say I'm surprised if the thought crossed his mind in that time."
"And everything you said on New Year's?" Mary questioned.
Cora sighed, lifting her eyes with a shake of the head. "I only wanted you to be careful, darling. Secrecy is dangerous, especially in relationships. But I know Matthew was miserable without you. Every time I saw him with your father after that, it was as though a light had left his eyes and I'd never seen him behave that way before. In spite of his foolishness in the past, he does love you."
"Do you think Papa will come round?"
"He likes to make a fuss, you know that, but I think he's been hurt more than he's angry. Anger is his way of dealing with pain. When he's had time to cool down, when we all have, I've no doubt he'll be just as thrilled for this baby as I am," Cora said.
Mary felt as though a weight had lifted off her chest. "Are you really, Mama?"
Cora smiled. "My first grandchild? Of course, darling."
"I'm not sure I can even be a mother," she admitted.
"I thought so too when I first found out about you, but you proved me wrong, darling."
"Oh, Mama," she said, her mother kissing her forehead.
"Matthew's waiting outside for you. I'll get your father home, let you know when he's calmed down enough to see reason," she replied.
"I suppose I'd better talk to Matthew," Mary murmured, both women standing in the stall.
"I think that would be best," Cora advised, hand on Mary's elbow as they exited the toilets.
Matthew stood in the hallway with his back against the wall. He looked up as they came out, fear and worry etched on his face, as though he thought Cora's conversation with Mary had knocked him down again.
"Bye, Matthew," Cora said, patting his arm before leaving them.
"Am I in for it again?" he questioned once they were alone.
"It's little more than you deserve," Mary said, approaching him slowly. She put her hand on his arm, her thumb grazing over the fabric of his sleeve.
"Are you teasing me?" Matthew asked, eyes fixed on her hand.
"Only a little," she replied, looking up into his face. "When did you buy a ring? Was it after you found out about the baby?"
He met her gaze. "No. No, it was before Christmas."
Mary's jaw dropped. "You were going to propose after three weeks together?"
Matthew pressed his lips together, stifling a grin. "I was waiting for the right time to give it to you, obviously. But I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you'll have me."
"So you didn't buy it after finding out I was pregnant?" she asked again, still in disbelief.
He shook his head. "No, darling. I would have proposed the day I got it, but I thought a week of dating was a bit fast to be planning a wedding."
"A week?"
"Well, that was plan A and now we're on plan B," he said. "But I'll go through plan X, Y, or Z if it means I can spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy. I'll probably fail nine times out of ten, but, God that won't stop me from trying my damnedest."
"Oh, Matthew," she breathed, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, pressing her lips to his jaw.
"Is that a yes?" he murmured.
"Are you proposing to me in the corridor in front of the toilets?" she asked.
"What? It isn't romantic enough for you? Picky, picky, picky," Matthew joked, brushing his nose against hers. "It doesn't have to be now. I can wait until we get home, show you the ring, and you can decide if I'm too cheap or not."
"I have a vague idea on your annual salary, so I'm sure I'd be a pretty good judge of it," Mary replied before kissing him on the lips.
Thoughts?
