Chapter Ten

Forgiveness

Thor stood staring out of the window of his private chambers. He absentmindedly watched the people of Asgard go about their daily lives; his mind a million miles away. So much had happened over the last few days, he could barely comprehend it all. He was a father; Sif had given birth to a healthy baby girl whom they had named Thrúd, after her strength; He had almost executed his brother in a fit of rage, borne from somewhere dark and unidentified and he had gone against every moral fibre of his being. He was disappointed in himself; he couldn't imagine how others viewed him. He scrunched his eyes up tight letting the feeling of guilt wash over him in waves. He should have been overjoyed, he had a daughter, but all he could think about is Loki; his pained screams haunting even the farthest corners of his mind.

"Thor?" a gentle, hushed voice disturbed his reverie. He turned to see his wife standing behind him with their tiny daughter bundled in blankets in her arms. Motherhood agreed with Sif, she was positively radiant; in her element with baby Thrúd.

"You look tired" Sif muttered quietly "have you slept?"

Thor shook his head. He couldn't tell her that every time he closed his eyes he was plagued by his brother's screams, his blood, and his contorted face. It's all he sees… all he hears. He let out a heavy sigh.

"You should go see him" Sif whispered, her eyes searching Thor's, concern etched onto her pretty face.

"How can i?"

"You must… he is your brother!" She was imploring him, but he didn't know if he could bring himself to see his brother after all the pain he caused him. He closed his eyes and felt Sif's hand on his; she pulled at it, pulling him slowly from his chambers. He didn't have the energy to struggle away; instead he followed like an obedient puppy.

She led him to the Healing Wing, her free arm cradled around Thrúd the whole time, holding her close. Her large eyes were staring into his, begging him to go inside. Thor relented; he knew it was now or never.

The Healing Wing was large and empty; the only occupied bed was Loki's. He was lying on his side, his back facing Thor, breathing heavily in his sleep. Thor was faced with the wounds he had caused his little brother. Open, seeping and raw, they looked hideous. He couldn't even begin to imagine the pain his brother was in. He felt a lump forming in his throat as his eyes began to sting with unshed emotion. For once he didn't want to be the tough warrior everyone saw him as, instead he let the tears flow; let them wash over him, cathartic… cleansing.

"Brother?" Loki's quiet voice disturbed him. He opened his eyes to see his brother trying to look at him, the pain obviously hindering his moving. He strode around to the opposite side of the bed and dropped down to his knees, his watery eyes locked onto his brother's.

"I'm sorry" he started, knowing that the words were not enough, but not knowing what else to say "My actions were unforgivable… the pain I have caused, the wounds… at my hands…" He could not think of anything else to say. How do you put it into words?

For a moment the room was silent, broken only by Thor's quiet sobs. The reality of what he almost did hit him hard, he couldn't think about what would have happened if his father hadn't woken up.

"I forgive you" Loki said after a moment, a half smile spreading across his bruised and bloodied face. Thor watched him wince at the pain and felt his heart sink. He did this; marred his brothers beautiful face, his body… it's entirely his fault.

He pulled his brother into a slow and tender hug, trying not to cause him anymore harm. Although he knew he would never forgive himself, it was healing to know his brother forgave him. Thor pulled away and held his brother at arm's length, studying his face.

"Loki... if i'd known-"

"Say no more brother... it's finished... it does not do well to dwell on the past"

Thor nodded at him, knowing as always his brother was right; there was a reason he was the more intelligent of the two; Thor went into battle with his might, Loki went into battle with his mind, always thinking things through. Loki rarely got into trouble, while Thor often ignored his brother's advice and found himself having to battle his way out.

"Father tells me you wish to return to Midgard" Thor stated, breaking the silence "Is that really what you want?"

Loki looked at him, his large, green eyes brimming with emotion. For a moment he seemed contemplative, thinking carefully about what to say.

"I never felt like i belonged here" he began, his voice tinged with sadness "I'm an outcast, a half-breed, constantly shadowed by my brilliant brother"

"Loki... that's not true"

"On Midgard, i felt like someone... i made my first ever friend; a mortal. She made me feel appreciated... i didn't feel like i had to compete to get her attention"

"Do you miss her?"

"With my entire heart brother"

Sadness spread across Loki's face, his mind wandering to the mortal he'd left behind. Thor was left dumbstruck by Loki's words. Had he really made him feel like an outcast? He couldn't begin to comprehend the pain he had caused his brother all these years. Perhaps it was best for Loki to go somewhere where he could be his own person, without the bonds of his powers and his family holding him back.

"If you feel she can make you happy Loki, then follow your heart. Love doesn't greet us all that often, we should never let it slip through our fingers"

He rose from his knees and kissed his brother on the forehead, before leaving him in the Healing Wing once more, knowing in his heart that their bond had been restored and all past events forgotten.