Enter the Theater Sub - Chapter 11 - To Apologize
Sunday evening Gabriella opened her door and found an envelope and a long box with a half a dozen roses lying in it. She opened the card.
At the very top of the unfolded card she began reading:
Gabriella,
It's been a couple of days now. I've spent them thinking. Let me start by saying that I apologize for what happened Friday night. You are right. I should have shown more trust and faith in you. I want you to know that I realize that you were right about that.
When Marci died, I started blaming myself. Up until that point, I had, in my youthful naiveté, thought that she'd come home and she'd have my baby and we'd figure out how to go to college and live with our parents and raise a kid. I fully expected to be an every other weekend kind of dad. I had even justified it to myself by thinking that I loved Marci, but I knew she wasn't the one for me and I wouldn't put my child through a divorce. I'd seen other kid's families split and I wouldn't let that happen to my child.
I do that a lot. I refuse to allow things to happen to the people I love. The problem is I don't really have that power. I can't keep you from feeling pain and disappointment, any more than I could keep my son from having parents who end up divorced. I don't know, maybe the parents he has now will eventually divorce. I don't have the power to save him from that.
Our fight Friday night was huge for me. Since the night that I yelled at Marci and lost her and eventually my son, I have never gotten into another argument with anyone. I suppose in the back of my mind I thought that if I yelled at someone they'd die and I'd lose another person I loved. Truth is at some point I started walking away. When I calm down, I come back. Sometimes I'm able to talk about the problem more calmly. Other times I just explode and walk away again. I don't want to lose anyone else because I was stupid and lost my temper.
Which brings me to another thing you should know. I don't want to lose you, Gabriella. My past aside, I know that I'm in love with you. I'm sorry that it took me having to stop thinking to figure that out. And I'm even more sorry that you feel like you can't believe me when I say that I love you. I do. I know that I do. I love you. I don't want to lose you. I'm afraid of losing you. Losing you now would break my heart, Gabriella.
I understand that you're upset with me. I'd be a fool to say that I know what I've done wrong. I don't know exactly what hurt you, except what you told me Friday night. If you'll let me, I'd like to take you to breakfast tomorrow morning at my favorite place. At 5:30 am, I will be at Marchino's on 5th and Walnut. I leave the decision up to you, sweetheart. I would love for you to join me and give me a chance to say I'm sorry and I love you. If you want me to leave you alone, I'll respect that. The decision is yours.
All my love,
Troy
Troy sat at the café table fidgeting. He kept telling himself that she'd come. He just kept reminding himself that she had more faith in people than he did. He checked his watch again, 5:35. Okay, maybe she was running a little late. He knew she didn't like mornings as it was. He forced himself to sit quietly, but his knee was bouncing up and down so quickly he was shaking the table.
Gabriella opened her eyes and looked around. She could figure out why her alarm was going off, it was still dark outside. She looked over at it. 5:35, OH GOD! She jumped out of bed and grabbed her nearest slacks and blouse. She brushed her teeth as fast as possible. She put on very light make up and jewelry, then she started searching for her phone and keys. No, no, no this cannot be happening! She found her keys but couldn't find her phone. She looked at the clock, 5:45. She screamed a muffled cry. NO! Troy I'm coming! I'm coming! Don't give up on me!
She finally found her phone. Her eyes filled with tears. He'd sent one text. Alright. I understand. I'm sorry. Goodbye.
"NO!" She flipped to his contact page and pressed send. She heard the ring, once, twice, thrice. She felt her heart beginning to hurt. "No, no, no. This won't do!" She heard his voicemail start. She hung up. She got her door locked and headed for the café. When she got there, the waiter said the man had just left. She nodded and with a sad smile told him thank you for his time. She turned back to her car. She pulled up to the school. It was 6:15 now. She saw his truck. She let out a heavy breath. She ran from her car to the gym. She burst through the doors, "Troy!"
Chad and Troy both turned around at the sound. Troy just looked at her. She looked gorgeous as always, but like she'd been through a hurricane in the process. He took a deep breath and walked toward her. He saw Chad shrink back to the bench to give them a little more privacy. "What's wrong?"
She looked up at him with hurt-filled eyes, "I was just late. I woke up late. Please don't give up on me." She felt the tears in her eyes. "Please?"
He squinted his eyes and shook his head, "I—What?"
She looked at him pleadingly, "I don't want to lose you either. I woke up at 5:35 and I couldn't find my phone or my keys. I'm sorry."
Troy raised his eyebrows. "Shh…come 'mere. Slow down, Gabriella." He took her into his arms. He hugged her like he would any woman in distress. He wasn't sure if she was saying what he was hoping or not. At the moment he was really confused.
Gabriella cried into his shoulder. She took a few deep breaths and let her lungs catch up and her mind slow down. His scent seemed to be clearing her mind. She leaned back a bit. "I got your note and the flowers last night. I didn't call because I didn't want to ruin anything for this morning. But, then when I woke up this morning it was 5:35 and I couldn't find my phone to call you or my keys to get to you. I was frantically searching. When I found my phone, I saw your text and I screamed. I tried to call you, but you didn't answer. So, I raced to the café to try to find you, but the waiter said you'd just left. Then I came here and…Well you know the rest."
He nodded, "So, you don't want to break this off?"
She shook her head, "NO! I just—Friday night I was just angry, Troy! It happens! Couple's fight all the time and then they talk and they go on. No one has to die. No one has to lose anyone. I don't want to lose you either, you fool!"
He smiled at her choice of names to call him. He slid his finger along her cheek. He was contemplating her words. He'd been here for about a half hour and he'd been telling Chad how bad it hurt to lose her, but if they were going to split up, he'd rather it be now and not later. Now, here she was calling him a fool and telling him how much she didn't want to lose him either. "Are you sure?"
She just looked at him. "Did you give up on me? Did you mean it when you said goodbye in that text?"
He bit his lip. "I meant that I could respect your need to be free of me, because that's what I thought you wanted."
She rolled her eyes, "Will you stop assuming you know what I want?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Alright. Here's what I want. I want you to be exclusively mine. I want us together, seriously. I want to talk about what we want in our futures, because if we're going to keep dating, I want to know where it's leading. I want you, all of you. I want to know your friends, so that I don't freak out over something stupid like I did Friday night. I want to know that you're not dating anyone else. I want to know if you love or could fall in love with me. And, I want you in bed with me!"
She just stared at him. "I am exclusively yours. I never stopped being exclusively yours. I want us to be together, seriously too. I don't know what future I want, but I know that I want to see if we can make one together. You can meet my friends anytime you like. I don't want you to ever feel like you need to freak out like you did Friday night, either. I'm not dating anyone and haven't for a long time. I am in love with you and, damn it, if you wanted to get me into bed, you should have just said so!"
He gave her a dazzling smile that he couldn't have held back if he'd wanted to. "I love you too."
She smiled, "Ditto, Wildcat."
He laughed, "We really have to work on our communication, don't we?"
She laughed too, "Uh, ya' think?"
He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her. "So, maybe tonight I could come over and we could possibly work out some of this frustration between us?"
Gabriella blushed, "Uh, sure."
He kissed her again. "I truly am sorry about Friday, Gabriella."
She nodded, "I am too. I should have just told you who he was instead of getting so defensive."
He smiled and in a reassuring voice said, "We'll figure this out."
She nodded against his chest as his arms closed around her again. "I love you, Troy."
He kissed her hair. "I love you too, baby. I thought I'd lost you this weekend."
She shook her head. "No, I just needed to cool off and think. I missed you like crazy."
He smiled as his lips rested just over her head. "I missed you too."
