A/N: I don't own the Sons, though like many, I wish I did. Here it comes: the shit hitting the fan chapter you've all been waiting for…

It was late. Far too late for anyone to be up. My eyes fluttered open as the bed sagged down.

"Jax?" I groaned. The bright lights from the alarm clock beamed 3:47 AM. He made no noise as he sat on the edge of the bed, his shoulders slumped and his face in his hands.

"Go back to sleep, Tara." He sounded exhausted; then again it was 3:45 in the morning.

"You ok?" Jax didn't respond but as my eyes adjusted to the light I could see his shoulders expanding and contracting as he took long deep breaths. Slowly I crawled and knelt behind him. I reached my right hand out and tentatively touched his shoulder. When he didn't pull away I rolled my hand forward and across, over the front of his chest. My left hand grazed his side before moving under his arm and wrapping around his torso as well. Gently I placed my chin on his shoulder. I hugged him to me for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, he sighed and sat up, unwrapping my arms from his body.

"Let's go to sleep." He whispered in the dark. He kicked his shoes, pants and sweatshirt off then laid down in the bed staring at the ceiling. He looked over at me and gave me a sad grin then pulled me into him. He seemed to relax after a while, the harsh breaths unwinding against my back. I had no idea why he was coming in so late or why he was so tense but I knew the last thing either of us wanted was to talk about it at 4:00 in the morning. Whatever it was, it could wait until morning.

"I love you, Jax…" I said softly before falling asleep.

Things between me and Jax had reached an uncomfortable standstill after the near showing of strong emotion. It seemed like the return of the morning sun was accompanied by the return of the wall Jax had built around himself. I tried to ask him if he was alright, ask what had gone on the night before.

"Nothing," He had said dismissively with a fake smile. His long arms had reached out, pulling me across the bed and drawing me into him. However, when I brushed the flaxen hair out of his eyes the comforting gleam that normally resided in them was gone.

He stiffly got out of bed and continued the day as if nothing had happened.

The next day he dropped me off at my house, once again, unwillingly. Resting our heads together Jax held mine steady between his hands.

"I love you…" He had whispered running his thumbs along my lips. I was too scared to leave him or this moment.

"I love you too." He kissed my forehead gently and turned me around before giving me a little slap on the ass to get me moving. I spun on him as he gave a playful chuckle.

"Go on, Tara." He said with a knowing smile nodding towards the house.

The next four of months passed in a weird sort of time warp and before I knew it, it was Mid-March of my senior year. Mine and Jax's relationship also did some weird morphing as the months passed; it was like we hit a Pleasantville plateau. We laughed, held hands, kissed, made out, had sex; there was no lack of affection. But something had felt jilted in the months that had passed, like our relationship had taken on some fake veneer. We didn't talk about anything hard or argue anymore. The first few days after Jax had come into our dorm room sullen, and seemingly frightened, I'd pressed him for what had happened. When he couldn't tell me what was he was going through or doing, either for his own reasons or the club's, I would get frustrated. But after a few weeks of this back and forth, I eventually just gave up, resigning myself to the fact that things were the way they were and they sure as hell weren't going to change by me nagging him.

He got enough nagging from Gemma. That woman was like a real life sea saw. One minute she was frigid, as hateful, unwelcoming and spiteful as could be. This added a dash of tension between me and Jax. Obviously he loved his mother very much, as he should, but a teenage relationship is hard enough as it is even without the added pressure of disapproving legal guardians. Then, on the drop of a dime Gemma would turn sickly sweet, to the point where you had to question her motives. Did she want us together or not?

On the upside, this was never a question we had to ask about my father. He hadn't turned completely sober but he rarely got piss himself and throw up drunk anymore. Still, he was the picture perfect definition of a drunk and disengaged Daddy. Half of the time, Jax could crawl in through the window and spend the night. After gradually testing the waters we found that Jax could walk through the front door, sleep over; even have breakfast without my dad caring. We didn't know if he was too drunk, too oblivious or too apathetic to notice.

I was currently getting ready to go out with Jax, Opie, Opie's date and her friend. After four months, Ope had finally gotten his act together and asked her out, and found a day when all of us were free.

The doorbell rang as I put the finishing touches into my hair. I hurried to the door, hoping to beat my dad. A warm breeze gusted into the house and after a particularly cold winter the spring air was much appreciated. My voice caught in my throat as I took in the sight of him. He looked no different than normal, black baseball cap, dark blue hoodie, cut, loose jeans and light sneakers; and yet I still couldn't breathe.

"He-Hey!" I squeaked out. Jax leaned over gripping my hip with one hand and laid a kiss just below my earlobe. I sighed in delight while he leaned around me and checked out the living room.

"Hey Mr. Knowles." My father peaked over the newspaper he was reading, glass of bourbon standing guard next to him. My father nodded in acknowledgement. I had no idea where he stood in respect to Jax. We rarely spoke these days outside of meal choices, and if we did, the last thing either of us wanted to discuss was my love life. "We should get goin', Babe."

"Yeah." I debated whether I should say any goodbye to my dad but he seemed pretty content nursing his crystal glass without any disruptions. Rolling my eyes to myself I followed Jax out the door and to the bike.

I couldn't help but think of a term we had learned in psychology that week as we pulled into the movie theater parking lot. Cognitive dissonance was when anxiety spurred from one's contradicting beliefs and actions or other beliefs. That might begin to explain how awkward Opie looked standing outside with the blonde, her more petite brunette friend and what I assumed was the petite girl's boyfriend.

"Jax, Tara, this is Monica," Opie introduced the blonde who then took over introducing everyone, "This is my best friend Donna and her… Tom!" The pitch of Monica's voice seemed to annoy Tom who did not seem to want to be there. Donna looked really shy so I was sure to give her a big smile when I shook her hand. She reminded me of how I felt sometimes, completely confused as to why she was standing in the midst of group of rough and tumble bikers and in way over her head.

Jax, Opie, Tom and I could really care less about what ever movie we were going to see so we let the girls chose; or rather let Monica declare. She ended up picking out some sappy movie about long lost lovers from World War II but I didn't end up seeing most of the movie. After doing 2 hours of cleaning followed by 5 straight hours of studying history this afternoon, I was dead tired. I feel asleep curled up in my chair with my head on Jax's shoulder no more than 15 minutes into the movie, his giant sweatshirt acting as a blanket for me in the cold air conditioned theater.

I began to dream hands down one of the strangest dreams I had ever had. Jax and I were sprawled out under the tree in the meadow we regularly visited, enjoying each other's company and touch. He smiled and then rolled over facing away from me. I leaned up on one elbow and peering over his body I saw none other than Sadie Duncan. Jax's body was curled around hers in the same way it had just been around mine while he whispered the same things to her that he had just said to me. Then it got super weird. One second he was there and the next I was laying next to a ferocious sandy-furred dog, Sadie nowhere in sight. It's jowls foamed as they pulled back to let out a fierce snarl. I jumped up and started to crawl backwards away from the mangy dog as he advanced slowly, stalking me out like a lion in the savannah. Suddenly it lunged forward spreading it's strong jaws and aiming for my throat.

Waking up with a gasp, I startled Jax who seemed to be falling into a slumber too.

"You ok?" He whispered peering at me curiously as I caressed my throat. I looked at him with wide eyes forcing the image of the feral dog out of my mind.

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine," I smiled rubbing his cheek. "Strange dream."

He gave me a reassuring smile, ruffled my hair, and then slouched back into his seat pulling the bill of his cap a little lower. The movie seemed to be coming to a close; I didn't realize how long I had been out for. The lovers were running through an old fashioned train station looking for each other.

I wondered how Ope was doing. Looking down the aisle his eyes were not focused on Monica, who was tearing up over the horrible acting, but rather on Donna. Donna's eyes were trained on the screen even though that wasn't where her attention stood. Tom's hand was resting on her knee and slowly moving up the bare skin of her leg towards her short clad thighs. When he got too far for her comfort, which to anyone with any semblance of intuition was when he put his hand on her leg in the first place, Donna would pick up his hand up off her lap and toss it into his. This dance continued until she finally got up and left the theater followed closely by Tom.

I quickly looked at Opie who's face scrunched up in anger before he followed Tom. Knowing where this would lead, I shook Jax who hadn't even noticed Opie leaving though they were seated next to each other.

"It over?" Jax mumbled.

"No, but Tom is gonna be." I pointed to the small train of people leaving each equally pissed.

"Shit!" Jax jumped up and followed after the group. I followed leaving Monica behind and confused.

"Get away from me!" Donna screeched at Tom in the middle of the lobby as he grabbed her upper arm. Thankfully the lobby was mostly empty, even though it was a Saturday night. Out of nowhere Opie pulled her in the other direction and brought his elbow across the other man's face with the full force of his body. A sick crunch reverberated through the room. Before he could inflict any more damage Jax pulled him back. Monica, who had rushed in after us, fell to the ground and inspected Tom's nose. Looking up at Opie she yelled, "What the fuck, asshole?"

He merely looked down Tom who was now bleeding from his nose all over himself. "I suggest you leave now." His closed his eyes while his chest huffed. His demeanor changed as he faced Donna.

"You need a ride?" He asked shyly, almost ashamed of his outburst.

"Yeah." She answered surprised. Though it was debatable if she was shocked over the fact that he offered or that she was accepting. He came over and pulled Jax into a man hug and nodded towards me,

"See you later, Brother. Bye, Tara." Myself a little surprised as well at how this night ended choked out a "Bye, Ope."

Jax took one last look at the creep who laid on the ground and snorted in amusement as Monica continued to fret over him. "You ready to go, Babe?" Jax asked nuzzling into my hair. The image of the dog flashed through my mind.

"Yeah, I'm good." Pulling into my driveway I noticed the garage door was open, the cutlass gone and the door that led from the garage to the house was also wide open. Neither myself or Jax were worried about robbers, we knew exactly who had left the house open and vulnerable.

"You want me to stay?" Jax asked even though he was already dismounting the bike.

"Of course." I smiled leading him into the house. Tiredly I shuffled into the kitchen and began to brew some coffee while Jax took a seat at the little table in the middle of the kitchen.

"Anything good in there?" I motioned to the pile of mail on the table. Jax thumbed through the pile.

"What is this?" I couldn't pinpoint the emotion in his words. It seemed like an odd mix of anger, confusion, frustration, anxiousness and pain. I slowly to find him holding up a packet. Sprawled on the package in writing that looked like it was trying to be "hip" read the words "UCSD: We'll C U here!"

"I-I ap-pplied to USCD." I stumbled terrified of his reaction.

"Well, congratulations, looks like you got in." Needless to say his tone seemed anything but congratulatory, "So when were you planning on letting me know? Or were you just going to move on out of Charming without so much as a backwards glance?" He wasn't yelling necessarily but the calmness with which he spoke was almost more unnerving than if he was. And still a little part of me thrummed inside, we were finally talking about something aside from how much we wanted the other.

"Of course not! Don't be stupid, Jax! It's just… I mean look around us!" My voice rose slightly as I gestured to the outdated kitchen and messy living room. "I don't think I could handle it if this is all my life ever amounted to; cleaning up mess after mess, seeing the same people day after day, it's like living on a fucking compound!"

"What are you even going to do there?" Jax asked confused.

"What? You don't think I'm smart enough to go to college?" I asked astounded. Now it was his turn to chew on his words.

"That's not what I said Tara!" He shouted standing up.

"Sure as hell sounded like it!" I retorted.

"I just meant," He spoke low and slowly, "what good is going there? What is it going to get you?" I stared wide eyed at him in disbelief.

"An education, Jax! It will get me an education!" I said incredulous, "So I can, I don't know, do something for the world! I honestly don't get what you're freaking out about!"

"You were gonna leave without saying anything Tara-" Jax began to shout

"No I was not!" I yelled over him.

"-You were gonna leave without saying so much as goodbye." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes trying to compose myself.

"Jax, I obviously going to tell you. But I figured why get you all riled up if I didn't even know if I was going to get in."

"Well, you did, so what now?" He stared me down; waiting for answer- I had none. "I'm gonna go." He said in a near whisper after a minute.

"Jax!" He walked through the house not saying a word. "JAX!"

A few months ago, if he had stormed out of my house, not uttering a word as I shouted for him to come back I probably would have been reduced to tears; but as it was I squashed the growing feelings of anger and resentment, put on a pair of sweats and went to bed.

The feelings of anger had subsided with sleep but the morning brought on a whole new batch of guilt. I felt no remorse for not telling Jax about UCSD but rather for hurting him in the process and the feeling only grew worse as the day went on. By noon I was itching in my skin. I stepped outside preparing to walk to the center of town but found the cutlass parked haphazardly in the garage keys still in the ignition, my father nowhere in sight.

I climbed into the stifling car and headed towards TM replaying all of the things we had said last night and words I would have to say to Jax to rectify the situation. Once at the garage I took off my sunglasses and walked hurriedly into the garage scanning the dirty faces for my favorite. The one that could make the synapses in my brain stop firing just by looking away. Not seeing him, I scoured the lot for Jax's motorcycle. I really didn't want to go into the clubhouse without him to ask if he was there, and the guys in the bay looked awfully busy.

Sucking up my pride I walked towards the door of the office and knocked on the doorframe.

"Hey Gemma, I'm looking for Jax, have you seen him?" I asked as sweetly as I could, albeit anxiously.

"Why sweetheart, something wrong?" Gemma inquired obviously feigning innocence. I took a breath, giving myself a few seconds to kill the words I wanted to yell at her.

"Just looking for him is all" I said through a tight smile. Her own creeping across her mouth Gemma replaced her glasses on her little nose and looked back at me over them.

"Bunch of the guys headed into town."

"Thanks!" I shouted over my shoulder running to the car. The guilt was reaching an intolerable level at this point. The harder I tried to compress the feeling down the worse I felt.

Once I reached the main drag in town I searched the storefronts for leather and strained my ears listening for the thundering sound of a pack of motorcycles. Finally I found a crowd of them parked uniformly outside Lumpy's. Not even stopping to see if Jax was in the group collecting outside I parked the car and hurried across the road.

Just as I approached the median on the empty street I spotted him, leaning on the old stone retaining wall surrounding the back half of the building. There he leaned relaxed, as cool as can be; his feet shoulder width apart with none other than Sadie Duncan standing in between them. And as she leaned in to lay light kisses on his ear, I spotted something on his face, in his eyes that I hadn't seen for four months.

A gleam.

The torrent of emotion that ripped through me was unlike anything I had previously experienced. Stunned to my core, it was like the soles of my boots melted to asphalt right where they stood, unable to shift. Gone was the guilt I had felt just moments before. Instead the heavy cloak of wrath draped itself over my shoulders, suffocating the logic and rational thought that normally dominated my body. I felt light headed as if I was unable to breathe. Supersensitive and hyper-aware I could feel my cells crying out for oxygen. Stupid cells, couldn't they see what was happening right before us? He was doing exactly what he promised he wouldn't do, broken the little faith I bestowed upon him. What did oxygen matter when your world was shattering already?

A car horn honked and I realized I was still standing in the middle of the road. The anguish I had fought so hard to control last night tore threw me and before I knew it I was walking with deadly assurance towards Sadie Duncan.

Instinctively I reached my left hand out, clasping it tight around her neck and threw her onto the sidewalk with all of the force I could muster.


A/N: How do you like them apples? I'm having trouble writing the actual fight scene but I figured this was long enough to stand on it's own, plus I hadn't updated in forever. The next chapter might be pretty short though, so, sorry! As always, please remember to review the chapter for what you did or didn't like and don't forget to vote for our running poll on my profile!