Hey guys, sorry it's taking me a while to update again, I kind of struggled writing this chapter due to writers block but I got there in the end!Also, FClydEN pointed out that I made a mistake in Chapter 9 by calling the show 'Behind These Eyes' instead of 'Behind The Mask.' I can't believe I actually missed a mistake like that, but basically it's because I was originally going to call the show 'Behind These Eyes' so I obviously got it mixed up whilst writing. Sorry for any confusion, thanks for pointing it out mate :)
Anyway, enough of my rambling, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Much love to you all!
Chapter 11
Emily's POV
It never ceased to surprise me that Katie was able to knock me down even when I was on cloud nine. Nobody could affect me the way that she did, she had been putting me down my entire life, and even moving away hadn't changed that little habit. I shouldn't have allowed her to upset me so much but the hurtful things she said had stabbed deep at my heart and I couldn't bear it, I had never been able to since the very first day that I took a blade to my skin. I now cursed the sight of the fresh wounds that decorated the inside of my arms. I cursed myself for being so weak.
It was my fault really, I knew that Katie wouldn't change but I continuously gave her chances just to see if she'd prove me wrong, I wasn't sure if it was just for acceptance or just to see whether or not she actually cared enough to stop being a bitch for more than five minutes. I shouldn't have answered her call but the mix of alcohol and excitement had led me to forget that it would only result in her shouting at me and trying to drag me back to the one place that I had fought so hard to escape.
I had tried to tell her about my new job as a writer but she showed no interest in even trying to listen to something that I had to say. The problem with Katie was that if it didn't involve her, she didn't care – she had always been self-centred and ignorant.
I wasn't surprised when she called me selfish, I had heard those words so many times before but it didn't stop them from hurting. What did surprise me, however, was looking up to find Naomi watching me with so much sympathy in her beautiful eyes. I hadn't opened up to anyone in a long time but it almost felt natural when I was around the blonde, she had a way of making me feel comfortable. She didn't try to butt in, nor did she try to change the conversation because she didn't know what to say, she simply listened and held me whilst I spoke. I hadn't felt as safe in my life as I did when her arms were wrapped around me.
Naomi and I had nearly kissed and I wasn't sure if I was disappointed or grateful for the distraction. I knew that she was confused by my actions; I could see it in her eyes every time that she looked at me. I wanted to kiss her, god, I wanted her so bad but I was terrified. I couldn't do it; I couldn't allow Naomi to like me. It would only be matter of time until she realised that I was not worth the hassle, but at least this way I would avoid getting my heart broken by another person who acted like they cared.
I avoided relationships and having close friends due to my past. I put on a front, showed everyone around me that I was tough and it would be okay for a while, my friends liked seeing that side of me but the moment I cracked and needed someone to turn to, they were nowhere to be found. I understood that I was a handful but nobody even tried to get through to me, they never tried to get through my barriers and if they did, they always quickly backed off.
They didn't like the darkness that was underneath, they couldn't deal with the fact that I was so broken inside. The life that I had known had been torn to shreds, the people who were supposed to love me unconditionally had turned away and I eventually stopped trusting everyone altogether. Happiness was only a fleeting feeling for me so I never allowed myself to delve into it because it would only be taken away as quickly as it was given. That was why I wore a front, just so nobody could see how terrified I was that my life would never amount to anything more than what it was.
I hadn't seen Naomi and the others for nearly a week, not since the night that we nearly kissed. I wanted to see them but I was scared. I had learned to always wear long sleeved t-shirts but I feared that they would see straight through the material to the swollen cuts on my arms and judge me, refusing to have me as a part of the team because I was a nutcase. I knew that it was stupid to think such a thing but that was the problem with self harming, it always left you feeling terrified that somebody would eventually find out.
I never wanted to be one of those people who self harmed because they couldn't deal with their problems but that was before I understood just how much it could affect you. It was as bad as taking drugs, once you tried it; it was something that you could quickly and easily become addicted to. When everything around you fell apart, it was the one thing that you could control. It was a pain relief; it took away that horrible ache inside of your chest because physical pain was much easier to handle than emotional pain. It had become like a routine for me, a safety net, when everything around me changed, it was the one thing that stayed the same. It sounded weird and completely fucked up but it was the one thing that made me feel normal, like I wasn't about to go completely insane.
I had tried so many times to stop but it was harder than anything I could have possibly imagined. Now, I detested my own body because of it, I couldn't bear the sight of the deep white scars that decorated my arms like pinstripes. I couldn't love a single part of me so how would anybody else?
I hadn't always been so miserable and cynical, in fact I was quite bright up until the age of thirteen when my parents divorced, and everything just turned to shit from then on. I could still hear the sound of my parents screaming at each other in my head, I could remember their harsh exchange of words and the sound of breaking glass as ornaments were thrown. I had held Katie as she sobbed against my shoulder, barely allowing a single tear to slip down my cheek. The arguments hurt deep inside but mostly, they filled me with anger – a rage so powerful that I later took it out on the bathroom wall before I fell to my knees, holding myself against the numbness that threatened to consume me.
I shook my head, breaking away from the memories as my phone began to ring. I glanced at the screen and froze upon seeing Naomi's name. I didn't want to ignore the blonde, the thought of her filled me with happiness but that was the exact reason why I needed to ignore her. However, I knew that we would soon be working together and I didn't want it to be awkward between us so I hesitantly connected the call.
"Hi, Naomi." I said in a polite greeting.
"Hey, Ems, where have you been these past few days?" The sound of Naomi's cheerful voice instantly brought a smile to my face.
"Sorry about that, unfortunately I still have to work." I replied with a chuckle.
"Screw that, you can quit that shitty job now!" She said with convincing enthusiasm.
"I still need the money until I start working for you guys."
"Working with us, not for us, you're a part of the team now, Ems, not an outsider." Her sincere words filled my stomach with butterflies and I blushed, I was grateful that Naomi couldn't see me.
"You know what I mean."
"I know I just wanted to reassure you. Anyway, the reason I've called is because we're having a little party at ours tonight and we'd love it if you came, it's just us lot and TJ's coming too. You up for it?" Suddenly the butterflies turned to a swarm of nervous excitement at the sound of Naomi's hopeful voice. I couldn't avoid her; I couldn't turn this down when I longed to be around them all so badly.
"I know I gave you a choice but I won't take no for an answer." Naomi giggled on the other end.
"You don't have to, I'd love to come." I answered calmly with a smile.
"Great! If you text me your address we'll come and pick you up in the next hour or two. It's a little hard to find our place and we wouldn't want you to get lost."
I smiled fondly at her consideration. "Sure, is there anything in particular that I should wear?"
"Whatever the fuck you want, you'll look smoking in anything." Naomi practically purred before giggling.
I blushed furiously. "You're just filled with compliments, aren't you?" I chuckled lightly. "I'm going to go and shower, text me when you're on your way, yeah?"
"Will do, see you soon!"
I disconnected the call and quickly sent a text message to Naomi with my address. I grinned to myself again, feeling another spark of happiness that emitted whenever I thought about Naomi and her friends. They liked me and wanted to spend time with me, it felt as though I was a part of them, like I was accepted. I wouldn't fuck this up, I had never felt so comfortable around a group of people before and I would cling onto this for as long as I could. I threw my phone onto the bed before I practically skipped off to the bathroom, grabbing a fresh towel on the way.
The deliciously hot water cascaded down my body, burning my skin nicely. I took extra care in shampooing my hair and shaving before I stepped out of the cubicle, wrapping the fluffy towel around my small body. I entered my bedroom and threw open my wardrobe doors, glancing at my selection of tops, shirts and a few dresses. A dress would be too flashy for a casual party so I grabbed a long sleeved, black and white striped v neck t-shirt. It clung to my body perfectly, enhancing the shape of my breasts and hugging my curves.
I threw the item onto the bed and opened my drawers, pulling out and slipping into a black bra and matching black briefs. I searched through my clothes and settled on my tight white skinny jeans before covering every inch of my skin in moisturizer when my phone buzzed next to me. I opened a new text from Naomi.
On our way, be there in about half an hour :) xx
I put the phone down with a smile and set about sorting out my hair. I pulled my fringe up into a small quiff and straightened the rest before I applied some make up, keeping it natural except for my smoky eyes. I quickly pulled on my outfit, adding my black boots, leather jacket and I was ready to go. I slipped my phone into my pocket along with my keys and grabbed my tin of pre-rolled cigarettes, deciding that I might as well smoke outside considering that they should arrive in a little over ten minutes.
The air was pleasantly warm as I stepped outside and lit a cigarette, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke up into the night sky. The nicotine felt good as always but it wasn't enough to erase the nerves that had settled back in my stomach now that I had nothing to keep me distracted. I needed to pour some alcohol down my throat and I would be fine but it was too late to go and buy a bottle so I would have to wait until I got to the party.
I was half way through my second cigarette when a sleek black car pulled up in front of me and I watched it questioningly, wondering whether or not it was Naomi since I couldn't see through the tinted windows. My question was answered when the back door was thrown open to reveal the grinning blonde and my heart quivered slightly.
"You can finish that in here, get in!" She said, shuffling back to make room. I shook my head and chuckled, suddenly feeling like a teenager who was sneaking out in the middle of the night. I barely closed the door before the driver slammed down on the accelerator.
"Good to fookin' see ya, Emilio man!" Cook - who turned out to be the driver - bellowed excitedly, quickly turning to grin at me.
"Sorry about that, we try to avoid going out in public when we're busy just in case we get recognised." Naomi explained with a heart warming smile.
"Don't worry about it." I replied, taking one last drag before flicking the butt out of the window.
"How have you been? We've all really wanted to see you. You look amazing, by the way." She said sweetly, her blue eyes locked on mine.
My heart fluttered at her compliment but my cheeks quickly burned, compliments embarrassed me, I had never known how to accept them. I quickly glanced down at Naomi's body and I had to refrain from licking my lips in approval.
She was wearing a long, sleeveless black top that had gold and silver patterns sprawled across the front. A black skirt accompanied it but it was so short that I almost thought that it was a part of the top, but it showed off her deliciously long legs that went on for days before finally reaching her black ankle boots. God, she had magnificent legs, I could imagine running my hands up them and never wanting to stop.
My eyes quickly snapped back up to hers before she realised that I was perving. Her eye shadow was smoky like mine but it looked so much better on her, her light eyes contrasted well against the dark makeup, making them stand out so much more. Her hair was styled in loose curls, falling around her collarbones and looking so soft that I wanted to drag my fingers through each strand. Fucking hell, this girl was turning me into some handy pervert.
"So do you." I replied almost exasperatedly. "I'm sorry, work sucks for taking all of my time. But I've been good," a complete lie. "How are you?"
"I'm good. At least it's not long until you can quit, that way we'll get to see more of you." Naomi said, a butterfly-inducing smile still pulled up on her lips.
"Definitely, I look forward to it." I replied, briefly glancing at Cook for a second to compose myself. Her eyes were hypnotic.
"You excited for tonight, Red? It's gonna be fookin' mental." Cook asked but kept his sight on the road ahead.
"God yeah, I'm always up for a party." I grinned at the boy even though he couldn't see me.
"That's what I fookin' like to hear, yeah. We've landed ourselves a good one, Naomikins."
"We certainly have, Cook." Naomi smirked at me and I tried desperately to control the blush that threatened deepen. She suddenly leaned forward and opened a bag from underneath the passenger seat, producing a bottle of Jack Daniels.
"Shall we get this party started early?" She winked at me, handing me the bottle which I eagerly accepted.
"What? Ah, fuck sake, Blondie, that ain't fair. What about poor Cookie?" I was pretty sure that Cook was pouting from the whiny tone in his voice. I giggled and opened the new bottle of Jack, bringing it up to my lips, my eyes locked with Naomi's the whole time.
"Sorry mate, you know you'd do the same if I was driving." She grinned whilst watching me take a large gulp of the delicious amber liquid, not even cringing as the burn slipped down my throat.
"Ya got me there. You could always make it up to me later." He eagerly suggested.
"Still gay, Cook."
"One day babe, one day."
We laughed happily as Naomi and I passed the bottle between us and I settled back against the leather seats with a relaxed smile on my face, appreciating the warmth of the spirit that had settled in my stomach. I had forgotten how easy it was to communicate with these guys; it just seemed to come naturally. It made me wonder what the hell I was worried about in the first place, but that was probably the alcohol speaking. As long as I had a bottle in hand, a form of confidence always followed.
When we pulled up on a private road to a large house – which looked more like a fucking mansion – on a smooth brick driveway, I wanted to laugh. It was magnificent, possibly three times the size of any house that I had ever lived in before. Black gates covered the perimeter and the house looked to be made of light coloured bricks from what I could see in the dark. There were possibly ten windows that I could count just on the front, some single and others were three to five panelled with neatly trimmed hedges below the first story. Naomi and Cook both smirked at me as I stood on their front drive with my mouth agape, I probably looked like an idiot but I didn't care. Fuck living alone when you could live with all of your friends in a beautiful house like this, there were benefits from every possible angle.
When we stepped through the pristine mahogany door and into the hall way, I literally did laugh. The floor was covered in a white oak laminate, matching the walls that were painted. A large black and red rug was placed just before the large staircase, the railing made of mahogany as it led up to an open landing. There were photos hung up on the walls, some were scenic and the others were photographs of the group together, the frames matched the colour of the railing. It was huge and the brightness made it look so open without it feeling empty.
"This is fucking amazing." I gasped in awe.
"Wait until you see the rest." Naomi grinned beside me, placing her hand on the small of my back to stir me towards the double doors on the left.
Cook strode forward and threw them open. "We're home!" He bellowed into the room as Naomi and I followed.
The laminate flooring turned into a white carpet, leading through to another enormous room. I could have cried at the sight before me as I stepped further into the living room where the rest of the gang, including TJ, were sprawled across two black leather five piece sofas that were connected at the arm to make an L shape. There were also several black leather arm chairs that were located throughout the room. A black glass coffee table was placed in front of the sofas, and on the wall in front hung a flat screen TV which was definitely larger than fifty inches with surround sound speakers positioned on either side. To the right of the room were large, four panelled timber windows and on the left was an open fireplace.
"Holy shit." I whispered aloud, my eyes wide with shock.
"It's fucking amazing, isn't it?" TJ cried as she and the gang jumped up to greet me, one hugging me after the other.
"Welcome to our humble abode!" Freddie said with a grin, throwing his arms out dramatically.
"Humble, are you shitting me? This…is fucking incredible!" I gushed with excitement.
"It's whizzer, wait until you see the rest!" Panda exclaimed, pulling me in for a tight hug and practically shaking me on the spot.
"That's what Naomi just told me but if I'm honest, I think I might die a little if it's anything compared to this." I replied, still sounding completely star struck.
"Glad you like it, you can stay whenever you want seeing as there are nine bedrooms." Effy said from her position on the sofa like it was completely normal. My eyes bulged even more.
"Fucking hell."
"Come sit, Emily. I must say, you are looking rather beautiful today." Thomas declared politely, extending his arm towards the sofas.
"Thank you, Thomas." I replied without forced honesty, finding myself smiling happily at the tall, dark skinned man.
"Jesus, give the poor girl some room to breath!" Lara cried as she threw her arm around my shoulder, pulling me towards the sofa.
"Where's the fucking alcohol?" Effy shouted, slapping her hands on her thighs in demand.
"Right you fookin' are, Eff!" Cook jumped up and ran out of the room.
I chuckled at the enthusiasm, surprised that I wasn't feeling completely overwhelmed by their attention. I sat beside Lara and sunk into the leather cushions, almost groaning at just how damn comfortable they were. Naomi giggled and took the place beside me, throwing her legs over the arm of the sofa as she leant against my shoulder. I had to resist smelling her hair but the scent of coconut wafted through my nostrils and I closed my eyes, a content smile spreading across my face.
"This is good, I like it. Not that I didn't like it before but this feels right." I glanced up at JJ who was smiling with a faraway expression as he nodded his head in approval.
Effy burst out laughing. "JJ, what the fuck?" The boys head quickly snapped towards the brunette, obviously noticing that he made no sense as he started blushing.
"It's nice having so many people here, I know two isn't exactly a lot but it felt like something was missing; now it feels right." He explained and I smiled warmly at him.
"Thanks, JJ. I'm glad we've made a good difference."
"Oh most definitely, Emily. You're very welcome." He smiled somewhat shyly.
"Man, I love this! It's like having a giant family!" TJ exclaimed and that was when I noticed the way that she and Effy were sat so comfortably together, with Effy's legs over TJ's lap and her hand placed on the inside of her calf. I contained a smirk; I would definitely make sure to tease her about this.
"That's what we've always been." Naomi spoke up. "We've all been friends since we were in school but it's nice to see some new faces." She turned her head and smiled at me.
Cook entered just in time with Freddie in tow that had gone to help him. I was once again gratefully disappointed for the distraction as I found myself getting lost in Naomi's delicate blue orbs. They pulled me in and held me in place; I couldn't fight against them even if I had wanted to. Naomi was insanely beautiful and every smile that she sent in my direction made my heart beat increase dramatically, my mouth would dry out and it was impossible to form any coherent words. I hadn't known her long but there was nothing that I disliked about the girl, I didn't think it was possible to dislike Naomi in any way. Her beauty matched her personality and adding her eyes and gentle voice into the mix, I was certainly a goner.
"We have enough alcohol to run a pub for the next year so if any of you fuckers aren't pissed off your tits by the end of tonight, I will personally shove a bottle of tequila down your neck, yeah?" Cook announced as he placed a tray filled with bottles and glasses onto the coffee table. Freddie ripped open a box of beer and threw a can to each of us.
We all simultaneously cracked open our cans just as Effy sat up, holding her can in the air.
"This will be a night to remember, a night for new beginnings." The brunette winked at me and I was suddenly both intrigued and terrified, like her speech was made specifically for me. However, I raised my can with a smirk.
"I'll fucking drink to that." I announced as everyone cheered and raised their drinks in unison before chugging them quickly.
The music was turned up, more drinks were poured and for the first time in so long, I felt somewhat happy. Maybe it was due to the fact that I had alcohol coursing through me, or because Naomi was pressed against my side and her smile made me feel something that I hadn't felt in a long time but mostly, it was because I surrounded by a group of people who made me feel as though I was a part of something, like I had finally been accepted. This was a night for new beginnings, it was the start of a new life, one that I was determined to make better than the last.
.x.
So you've now seen a tiny bit more about Emily, we're getting there guys! I wanted to add the group in a little more because they are all going to play a big part in this story but of course I had to throw in the Naomily interaction too! The next chapter will be the second part of the party. I hope you guys like it, please review to let me know if it's any good!
Chapter 12 – Naomi's POV
We fell into a comfortable silence but there was something that had been niggling at me ever since last week. The last thing that I wanted to do was push Emily away but I had to know.
"What happened the other night, with us?" I asked cautiously, watching closely to ensure that I didn't miss any change of expression.
Emily's eyes snapped to mine, slightly wide in surprise. She opened her mouth to speak before quickly closing it again, her jaw tensing as she squeezed her eyes shut. I bit my lip in anticipation and slipped my hand into hers, squeezing it gently to let her know that it was okay. When she opened her eyes, I was shocked to see that they were filled with sadness.
"I like you, Naomi, but…you should stay away from me."
