Sara's heart skips a few beats and she takes a few deep breaths considering on how to answer Lindsay's question. Sara hadn't been expecting it, but it makes sense now, because she had been working on this type of math with Lindsay before she left, and she knew that Linzz had, had no problems with it the last time she checked.

She had Sara cornered. Linzz had needed a way to separate Sara from her mom so that her curious mind could ask the questions it was longing to know. Of course she would answer the question though, because the young girl had confided in her, and Sara wasn't going to give Lindsay any reason to believe she couldn't trust her.

Sara looks into Lindsay's blue eyes and is yet again in awe by the resemblance between the two Willows."Yeah I do Linzz just like I love you."

"That's not what I meant and you know it Sara. Do you love my mom like the way she used to love my dad so long ago, or the way that you loved Uncle Gil?"

"Linzz I know your mom wanted to talk about this with you. Would it be okay if I went, and got her?"

"If you answer my question first."

"Yes Linzz I love your mom that way and my feelings will never change. Hey Catherine! Could you come here for a second?!"

"Coming." Catherine walks in and looks at the slightly horrified expression on Sara's face then the slightly guilty look that rests upon her daughter's face. Her only thought is oh God Lindsay is pregnant!

Sara stands up and whispers in Catherine's ear, "Linzz has just asked me if I love you, and I knew you had wanted to talk to her."

The looks does not change on Catherine's face, and she feels horror for a whole other reason. Catherine takes Sara's hand and leads her over to the bed where Lindsay is. Catherine looks at her daughter, but she doesn't know what to say.

Linzz is the first to speak, and it is directed at Sara, "If you hurt my mom I'll kill you." Then she looks back down and starts working on her homework. It seems to be the end of the discussion.

Catherine looks at Sara. She is slightly relieved and slightly puzzled. It is not like Linzz to be so quiet. Catherine shifts her body so that she is resting more against Sara's shoulder, but it is discreet not wanting to make Linzz uncomfortable. "Are you sure your okay with this sweetie?"

"Yeah." Catherine, and Sara take this as their cue to go, and walk out of the room. Catherine slips her arm around Sara's waist.

When they get into the kitchen Catherine collapses in a chair at the table. She puts her head in her hands, and stares down at the wood lost in thought. Sara stands behind her massaging her back. "Do you think she's really okay with this?"

"I'm not sure."

"She was very quiet."

"Maybe she has already accepted it."

"Or maybe she never will."

Lindsay walks into the room and takes one glance at the mom before she changes her coarse from going to the fridge to taking a seat beside her mom. "Are you okay mom?"

"Yeah I'm fine sweetie. Are you sure you are okay with this, because if you're not we can sit and talk about it."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes?"

"Then I'm fine with it. Sara loves you, and you two are happy. Why wouldn't I want that?" Catherine looks up at Lindsay, and smiles at her then kisses her daughter. Sara has quietly retreated into the other room sense she felt like an intruder. Linzz can see her shadow on the door frame, and knows she is right in the hall. After grabbing a drink she goes out into the hall and gives Sara a hug before disappearing into her bedroom.

Sara comes back into the room, and smiles at the look of relief on Catherine's face. "Now didn't I say she'd be accepting?" Catherine looks up at Sara, and rolls her eyes at her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Can I run something by you?"

"Sure baby, what is it?"

"I was thinking maybe we should move." Sara is sitting on the floor of her apartment sorting through all of her things before packing them. She looks up at Catherine who is leaning against the door frame clearly nervous. Sara motions for her to come closer to her then pulls Catherine onto her lap. Sara tucks Catherine's hair behind her ears and caresses her arm.

"If you really want to why not?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I have no problem as long as I'm with you and Linzz." Catherine smiles at Sara, and kisses her slipping her tongue into the back of Sara's throat.

"I was thinking we would stay in the school district, but move further from the lab so that you don't run the risk of being seen until you want to. I don't mind the extra drive, and then you can find a job somewhere else. You've spent so much on me and Linzz, and I've loved everything you've gotten me, but you must be running short on cash."

"Actually I have a lot saved up, and I love spending it on the two of you, but you're right. I need a job I've been feeling restless lately. I think a change for all of us would be nice."

"I've started looking at places already, and there are some nice ones further out of town."

"Okay so we can go looks at them, and pick one." Sara smiles at Catherine, and rests her head on Catherine's shoulder.

"So you managed to get the day off do you want to take a break, and..." Sara pulls out a pair of handcuffs, holds them up, and points with her head toward the bed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara and Catherine stand arm in arm in their new living room. Linzz has already gone up to start unpacking in her new room. They had looked at many houses and there was clearly only one choice when they were done.

Sara is staring into the clear water of the pool in the back yard. Catherine knows she is dying to go up to the loft, put all of her books on the shelves, and find the perfect place to put her reading chair. Where the light shines just right warming the chair, but not enough that Sara could not start a fire in the fireplace, or curl up with a blanket. Catherine looks over at Sara a smile works its way onto her face as she sees the anxiousness in Sara's demeanor. Catherine tucks Sara's hair behind her ears, and lightly kisses her lips, "Why don't you go up to the loft? I'm dying to work on the bedroom. I want to surprise you."

Sara looks over at her and flashes an adorable gap toothed smile that makes Catherine's heart melt. Then she runs up the stairs like a young child looking for their Christmas presents. Catherine smiles to herself then heads toward their bedroom to get to work. Catherine is slightly worried that she will make the room too much of her own and not enough Sara, but she couldn't help herself. After she had snuck into the room, and carefully examined it she had gone out without Sara's knowledge to the store, and bought new everything for the room.

Stepping back Catherine admires her work. All of the rich browns and purples radiate through the room. Candles can be spotted in every corner, and Catherine pulls the covers up on the bed to hide the new black silk sheets she had bought for her and Sara's pleasure. Sara's pile of books that had laid next to her spot on Catherine's own bed now lie on the mahogany stand on her side of the bed. Catherine had tested almost every chair in the store to find the perfect one. Then had moved it all around the room to find just the right lighting for Sara to read. She had also tried every light for Sara's night stand before settling on one that looked old fashioned, and rustic like you would see in a castle. It fits perfectly in the room, and Catherine has one of her own that now sits on her night stand surrounded by pictures of Lindsay, and Sara. Catherine had also bought the same rich purple paint that had covered the walls of Sara's former apartment. She has not yet gotten the chance to paint, and is planning on doing it this weekend. Feeling satisfied Catherine goes and checks in on Lindsay, and then starts hunting for Sara.

Catherine doesn't have to look far; finding Sara curled up in her chair in the loft looking out over the green lawn into the woods that fence the yard. Her eyes are half closed signs that she has been deprived of sleep for the past week. Nightmares have starting plaguing Sara's sleep again, and some nights Catherine has stayed up with her as fear hovered in her mind keeping her from going back to bed. Panic attacks have been coming more and more frequently to Sara, and tears to Catherine who does her best to hide her own fear as she tries to rescue Sara from the depths of her darkest thoughts. Catherine has begun to worry about Sara again who for a while had restful sleep by Catherine's side.

Walking over Catherine sits on the arm of the chair and pulls Sara's head into her lap running her fingers through Sara's soft brown locks. "Tired sweetie?" Catherine whispers. Sara nods her head, but can't sum up the energy to speak She is enjoying Catherine's soft caress and warmth that sweeps over her. Any touch felt so right and Sara has been having trouble letting Catherine leave from her side worrying that she would not come back because she couldn't, or she has decided that she doesn't want to.

Sara knows that these are ridiculous thoughts when Catherine has been the one to sit up with her all night for almost a week, but at the same time she feels that it would just give Catherine more of a reason to leave. She has always taken the time to let Catherine know that she wouldn't leave her, but Sara has rarely shown any reason to have Catherine do the same.

Sara can't blame Catherine in that respect for not reassuring her, but sometimes Sara wishes she had shown that fear so that Catherine would hold her close, and tell her nothing could take Catherine away from her. A single warm tear trickles down Sara's face, and it caught by Catherine's lips. Her blonde hair covering both of them, it smells of vanilla warming Sara's heart, and reminding her for a moment that she is safe and loved.

Catherine's eyes lock on Sara and worry starts to wander back into her mind. The peaceful moment abruptly over as Catherine realizes that Sara isn't having the same happy thoughts that Catherine has been having and maybe for a moment had noticed the warmth, but her mind has quickly changed to darker things.

Sara turns to look up at Catherine, and raises her hand to stroke Catherine's cheek trying to cease the worry that she has caused. Sara tries to smile at her, but can only manage a small half smile. Gathering the energy Sara sits up, and pulls Catherine into her lap, and covers her with a blanket then rests her head on Catherine's shoulder. Catherine runs her fingers up and down Sara's arm before moving so that Sara can rest her head on her chest. Then returns to stroking Sara's smooth toned arm. "How did the bedroom turn out?"

"Pretty good, you should go see."

"Will you come with me?"

"Yeah." Catherine gets up and takes Sara's hand leading her down the stairs, and into the room. Sara takes one look around, and slips her arms around Catherine's waist pulling the blonde into her. She rests her head on Catherine's shoulder. Catherine tries to ignore the feeling of Sara's body up against her back knowing that the brunette is not in the mood for anything she has in mind nor would she agree to with Lindsay awake. Catherine rests her hand on Sara's, and laces their fingers resting them back on her stomach. "Do you like it?"

"It's perfect."

"I'm going to paint it this weekend."

"I'll help." Sara lets go of Catherine's hand and walks over to the bed. She snuggles herself under the blankets. 'Mmmmmm, I like the sheets." Catherine smiles and joins Sara under the covers. Sara finds her place in between Catherine's neck, and shoulder and lightly kisses Catherine's neck a few times before stopping to absorb the warmth. Catherine links her fingers together over Sara's arm, and holds her tight.

Laying there for a while both are lost in their own thoughts until Catherine decides to take a chance, and ask Sara what has been eating away at her. "Hey Sara?" Catherine whispers.

"Yeah?"

"What's been on your mind lately baby?"

"A lot and nothing. It's not that important Cat."

"When you cry, are have nightmares, and panic attacks almost every night I wouldn't call it nothing."

"It's nothing, and I can't really explain it."

"Can you at least tell me why you were crying up in the chair?"

"I wasn't really crying, but you have to promise you won't get mad, or upset with me."

"I promise."

"Have you ever considered leaving me?"

"No. Sara are you worried about that?"

"Yeah."

"Oh sweetie look at me." Sara props her head up and looks Catherine in the eyes. Catherine tightens her grip on Sara even more. "I love you so much. I have never had feelings like this for anyone, and we have gone through so much with each other. All I can tell you is that I love you so much, and I will always be with you. Nothing can take me away from you. I love you...I love you so much..." Catherine can feel a lump rising in her throat, and she knows she promised she wouldn't get mad, but she can't help feeling hurt, and upset with herself. Catherine pushes Sara flat on the bed, and straddles her. Kissing her roughly, trying to convey feelings but at the same time trying to satisfy Catherine's own vulnerable side that has been left exposed by Sara's comment. Catherine ends the kiss and rests her head on Sara's chest, laying the rest of her body on top of the brunette, and holding her hand. Catherine soon feels Sara's breathing slow into one suited for sleeping. She doesn't want to get off Sara and install doubt in her mind, but Catherine can feel tears rushing to her eyes. She starts to silently sob, and tries to fight her body's movement, but it is inevitable as she shakes with the pouring out of tears.

Sara wakes up and can feel Catherine shaking on top of her. Tears that aren't hers are soaking through her shirt. She untangles her hand from Catherine's and wraps her arms around the blonde. This only causes Catherine to cover her face, trying her hardest to hide her pain. Sara keeps kissing her head as she pries Catherine's hand away from her face and holds it in her own. Sara rolls them over so they are both on their sides, and slides Catherine up slightly so that they are face to face. Catherine is trying frantically to cover her face, but Sara won't let her. Sara kisses away a few tears before resting her forehead on Catherine's, and watches her helplessly struggle with her emotions. Sara wishes she could help, but she knows this time she has to allow Catherine to do it on her own. So she provides as much support as she can through loving warmth, and caresses. Catherine's tears finally start to slow, and she opens her eyes looking into Sara's brown orbs that have been watching closely over her with love and concern. Sara untangles her hands from Catherine's now that she is certain that Catherine won't try hiding from her again. She never takes her forehead off Catherine's wanting to stay as close as possible to her. Sara starts to stroke Catherine's jaw line. With her lips only inches from Catherine's she whispers, "I'm sorry."


TBC...