Eren was kept still for the next day before he was allowed to walk around with limited supervision- he was excused from drills due to his healing injuries, and everyone went out of their way to be kind to him. While he appreciated the effort- he felt like it was a waste of time.

He tried to journal for Levi, but the words wouldn't really come. He found his entries were quite dry and unappealing.

Cleaned the stables and tended the horses. I feel as much like an animal as they do, sometimes.

Ate lunch. Food has no taste anymore.

Have a few hour to myself. Everyone keeps smiling around me, but nobody talks to me.

Dinner was much the same- the normal atmosphere was overwhelmed by people cracking jokes and shooting him glances, trying to gauge his expression.

He appreciated the effort, he really did. But he was incredibly tired, and in all honesty, it was the most he could do to nod along with them and force a rather tired smile. He'd forgotten home hard it was to deal with people.

I want to cut myself.

He set down the pen from where he sat in the dungeon, laying his head in his arms and biting his lip. He wanted to bleed so badly- to let all the bad, all the monster, drip out onto the stone floors until he was something beautiful, something worthwhile- but they'd found his piece if broken glass- he had nothing to really hurt himself with.

He was about to sink his teeth into his arm when he heard footsteps on the stone and looked up, finding Levi walking towards his cell.

"Oi. Follow me."

Eren stared for a moment, confused, before he remembered- he was supposed to talk to Levi. He was so exhausted, though, so frustrated- he just wanted pain- that he wasn't even sure he could. But he didn't want to disappoint his superior, and so he scooped up his journal and trotted behind the man.

The hallways were deserted, as it was late in the night, and the torchlight and shadows were their only companions as he stepped into Levi's office behind the man.

Levi wordlessly motioned for Eren to sit, taking the Journal from the boy before falling into his desk chair, opening the book and placing it on the desk between them. The boy had only written a few sentences, to his dismay, and Levi frowned, brows furrowing as he read them. Each one seemed to grow more and more distant, more heartbreaking…..

He'd finished reading them within a minute and looked up at Eren questioningly. Eren, for his part, was sitting in the chair, hands in his lap, forearms resting on his thighs, staring at the floor.

"Why do you feel like an animal?"

He looked up slightly at Levi's question, looking surprised, before he shrugged, looking defeated. "I dunno…."

"But you do know, Eren. Otherwise you wouldn't have written it. Now tell me- why do you feel like an animal?"

"Just forget it. I don't know why I wrote that." Eren said, voice dull, not looking up.

Levi frowned, voice becoming a bit sharp. "I can't help you if you won't explain yourself. Now- why do you feel like an animal?"

Eren looked up, eyes flashing with anger. "I said I was wrong! I don't know why I wrote it, so just leave me alone!" his hands were clenched into fists, green eyes burning.

Levi stared at him, leaning forward onto the table, silvery eyes never leaving Eren's face. "Liar."

That was all it took to before the volcano of emotion that was Eren Jager erupted.

"I feel like an animal because I am one, you ignorant fuck!" Eren had sprung to his feet so rapidly the chair clattered to the floor behind him, hands clenched into fists, eyes burning. "I live in a fucking cage, I can't be anywhere without my handler, everyone is afraid of me, and I could kill everyone here with one mistake! I AM A FUCKING ANIMAL!"

Eren swept his hand across the desk, knocking the journal, along with another assortment of papers, to the floor, kicking the wall, frustrated….

Before he realized what he was doing. He was doing exactly what he always did- knocking things down, ruining things, destroying. He was doing exactly what a monster would.

His eyes widened as he stumbled backwards, before he was in the corner of the office, knees to his chest, hands clenched into fists in front of his mouth, large green eyes wide with fear and glistening with unshed tears at his actions.

"S-shit…." he whispered, voice barely audible.

Levi said nothing, simply frowning slightly and bending over, not looking at Eren. He shuffled his papers back in order, replaced the journal, and strode across the room in three brisk steps so he was facing Jager.

Eren said nothing, simply screwing his eyes shut, waiting for the blow to come. He knew insubordination and outbursts didn't go unpunished, and his shoulders shook with dread at the anticipated pain.

Instead, there was a finger beneath his chin, lifting his head.

Eren's green eyes opened, surprised, to find he was staring at his Captain Levi, who was crouched before him.

"Was that really so hard?" Levi asked, voice quiet- he could see Jager was shaking like a leaf.

Eren said nothing, eyes still wide- it was clear the boy was afraid of him, wasn't comprehending what he was saying.

Levi sighed, running a hand over his face. "I'm not going to hit you, Eren. These sessions are a place to speak your mind- in this office, you're safe. You understand me?"

Eren paused for a brief second before nodding hesitantly, eyes still wide. Still, his shaking lessened slightly.

"Now, that being said- was it really so hard to tell me that, Eren?"

Eren nodded, a few tears leaking from the corner of his eyes as he sniffed.

"I-It seems… real… when I say it out loud. When it's just my t-thoughts, it's different. B-but when I say it out loud- it's real." Jager was on the verge of breaking.

Levi sighed. That explained a lot. It explained why Eren hadn't said anything to anyone, why he'd insisted on suffering in silence at the hands of his own mind. These poison thoughts had been seeping into the boy's head, and he'd said nothing, fearing people would affirm that his fears were the truth….

"You're wrong, Eren."

Eren looked up, watery eyes pull of pain. "I'm not wrong. I sleep in a cage… I turn into a monster…." he looked down, eyes downcast.

Levi refused to let Jager escape the conversation that easily, once again tilting the boy's chin upward.

"You're wrong." he repeated firmly. "The dungeons are a front, Eren- you stay there so the brass doesn't piss themselves. Sleeping down there doesn't make you a monster. you're always with soldiers because you joined the fucking army- it's kinda hard to not be with soldiers in the military, you know?" Levi smiled slightly at the obviousness of the statement, at the surprise on Jager's face.

"And you very well can turn into a titan. But being a titan doesn't make you a monster, Eren. Killing humans does. You may take on the form of a titan- but you never were one. Even in titan form, you fight them- the other titans- the real monsters. You've never once eaten a person simply because you wanted to. You aren't a titan."

Eren wiped his face on his sleeve, and Levi frowned, disgusted. He pulled a handkerchief from pocket, dabbing at the tears on the boy's face.

"You're the angstiest brat I've ever fucking met- but you're far from an animal." he concluded, finishing dabbing at the boy's face. He offered the boy hand up, which Eren shakily took, before standing, looking down at the Captain, relieved and bashful.

"Thank you…."

"Don't thank me, brat- I simply informed you of an obvious truth." Levi said dismissively, waving a hand. He glanced over at journal lying open on his desk from the corner of his eye- there were other things he wanted to address that Jager had written, but it was clear that the boy had been pushed far enough tonight. Better to take it slow.

Levi nodded. "I'd say we're done here." he said curtly. Eren looked surprised for a moment before he nodded, turning to go.

"Oi- follow me." Levi said.

Eren looked confused, but obeyed, falling into step behind the man and following him through the torch-lit halls, until he reached the Captain's personal quarters.

Eren stopped dead, and Levi frowned, turning to the boy. "Well? You coming or what?"

Eren hesitantly stepped into the room behind the Captain.

There was a large, four poster bed, a small desk before the window, a fireplace and a single armchair, and at the foot of the bed- a small, clean-sheeted, cot.

Levi turned, taking in Jager's shocked expression.

"As I said- having you sleeping in the dungeons is a front to placate the brass. I'm clearing you to sleep here, so long as you don't leave the room in the night without informing me."

Eren nodded hesitantly, still looking uncomfortable….

"Well? Would you rather sleep in the dungeons?"

"N-no Sir."

Levi frowned. "I said you didn't have to call me that when we were alone."

"Right- t-thank you, Levi."

Levi nodded curtly, accepting the boy's gratitude. "Not a problem. Now get some sleep." Levi moved to take off his cravat, and Eren hesitantly pulled off his Jacket, quietly folding it and placing it beside the bed, leaving him in his green shirt and white slacks.

Levi nodded, approving of the boy's choice to fold his jacket as he climbed into his own bed.

"I have only one rule while you stay here, brat. No messes."

With that said, Levi blew out the candle, leaving them in total darkness.

Despite his original uneasiness, Eren fell asleep within minutes, his breathing deep and Even. Levi quietly laid back in his bed, slightly relaxed. It was nice, having Jager in his room. He knew he wouldn't have been able to sleep with the knowledge the boy was in the dungeons, possibly trying to hurt himself. But being in the same room with Jager was oddly comforting- he knew the boy was alright when he was this close, could check on him in the night if need be.

It was temporary, he reminded himself. Only until they'd gotten Jager sorted out….

Never mind the fact he hadn't exactly cleared the new arrangement with Erwin. He'd tell the man of the recent change in plan tomorrow. That was his last hazy thought before the Corporal, too, gave into sleep.

MAILBAG

SecretWishX, Chapter 10

*Hugs*
Yay! Levi is now a psychologist! I love how Eren write down his feelings...when he started with clumsy, then wrote everything else...I just felt it...I can't describe what I was feeling...This chapter was extremely;y well written, reminding us all that we ARE only human, I love it. Thank you for writing this and sharing this wonderful concept. I'm a fan of a fan! ;)
Oh, and my sister wants you to know...or should I call her by her pen name...SomethingMore? That's right, she's my sister! I 'll be persuading her to make an account soon!
*Bows*

Yes! Thank you! I was absolutely going for that when I wrote Eren writing down his feelings- I wanted him to seem hesitant at first, before everything just started to pour out with such intensity it was painful to even watch... I'm glad I got it across well, and I'm humbled you're a fan of me.

I really wanted Levi to focus on Eren because Levi really cares for his men. If you'll notice, in this chapter he makes sure Eren in never really alone. He stays with him at nearly all times, and when Eren gets a moment by himself in the dungeons, he comes down in a few minutes. He's almost... traumatized, I guess you could say. He's nearly lost Eren once, so he's making sure the boy is well and keeping him close at all times until he can be sure Eren's doing okay mentally.

He's like a concerned parent, almost- and Eren is his problem child, the odd one out in the squad, the kid who needs him most. Hence why he's insistent on having Eren sleep in his room and keeping such close tabs on him.

Finally, I think that Eren's really struggling right now- he can't cut, he can't bite, and everyone is sort of walking on eggshells- but having Levi there is sort of calming, because at least he can talk to him about what's going on.

I love you and your sister (you and SomethingMore are some of my most loyal, favorite reviewers with such well-thought out reviews- I'm a fan of you and your incredible feedback! :)

Firelass19, Chapter 10

... if Levi wasn't cool already, he sure was now. So many respect points. I think I'm in love... THIS, my friend, was everything I was looking for: healing. The pain is miserable but the slow path to healing is always the best to read about.
You don't know how grateful that you posted. I was having a shitty day, and this is the first fic posted today (ironic considering the day is about to end) that I am subscribed to. Thank you so much. Thank you so flipping much :)

Why thank you! i'm glad my writing helped you on a shitty day- your review made mine 10x better! ')

I really wanted Levi to be the one trying his best to understand Eren, and I think it could totally be cannon, because Levi sorta took responsibility for Eren. Not to mention Eren is sort of a mess right now emotionally- combine that with Levi's desire to clean up messes all the time, and how much he cares about his men, and I think it's pretty realistic. Thanks for enjoying! :)

Birdlover101, Chapter 10

I have been seeing your chapters showing up in my email attached to my ff account. Today I finally decided to open it up and read it, and oh my God was I blown away. Your writing it trully wonderful, you capture the raw agony that Eren feels. Then you are having team Levi try and heal him after the true damage that Eren must suffer from and its amazing. I kicked myself for not reading this sooner. Your fic has easilly become my favorite not only because you are an amazing writer and can bring life to the characters but you are filling in so many plot holes from the manga/anime. And I thnak you. Can't wait to the next chapter.

*blushes* Why thank you! :D

I'm glad you're enjoying it, and your feedback re-affirmed that I didn't make my angst and emotion unrealistic in the fic, which I was a bit worried about. I feel like Levi is the only choice here to fix Eren, since he's sorta the onyl one who can handle him and who's been cleared by the brass TO handle him.

I feel like Eren and Levi spend enough time together that Levi wants to know this kid inside and out- put his broken pieces back together and see what makes him tick- because he cares for his soldiers, and since Eren's a special case, he warrants special attention. Anyways, I'm glad you're enjoying it, and thanks for the review! :)

Guest, Chapter 10

I think that this story is one of the best, because I am currently dealing with depression, and I have had self-harm urges and suicidal thoughts, as well as dealing with self-esteem issues. This story helps, because you haven't made self-harm seem so good, y'know?

Like, most stories dont show the whole thing, like relapses and other things. People tend not to see what self-harm actually is. But you, you've been portraying that very well in this story, and in each chapter, so much that it stays on my mind, and I absolutely love it. I really can't wait for the next chapter! Keep on writing!

Yes! Yes, this, exactly! I see all these fics of people cutting and their loved ones crying and hugging them and suddenly everything is magically better. The thing is- hugs can't fix everything, and legitimate self-harm and the underlying issues causing it do n't go away overnight.

Self-harm is fear- you don't know what you're doing to yourself, you're afraid of being judged, upset, you know you aren't normal- self-harm is hiding the bloodied toilet paper and not speaking of it, pretending that the issue doesn't exist. It's not beautiful, it's not dramatic, and it's not something that self-harmers enjoy. It's something they do that's critical to allow them to function, as they haven't found any other, more appropriate coping methods.

I wanted my fic to be a sort of lighthouse, to show people there are other ways to cope without cutting- and your support means the world to me. I'm really glad I made a fic you could relate to, and I want you to KICK DEPRESSION'S ASS! I'm so fucking proud of you.

SomethingMore, Chapter 10

Brilliant. Astounding. Positively thrilling and captivating!
The journal part is brilliant! Amazing idea! The tension and emotional atmosphere I just so..so... addicting! Thank you for another awesome chapter!
But I also couldn't help but notice that your apostrophes are replaced with these thingies: ;.
a little distracting, but not too much.
All in all, phenomenal!

Why thank you yes, I'm sorry about my ; issue- it's just that sometimes the words comes faster than my fingers can, and so i sorta make typos like that. I end up just using find and replace to replace all of my semicolons, because my typing is that bad, lol. Glad you still liked the chapter!

Also- thanks to both your and your sister for leaving me such incredible reviews! :)

Please review! :)