AN: OH GREAT AUTHOR STEPHANIE MEYER YOU OWN ALL THAT IS TWILIGHT ME ALL I OWN IS A CHRISTMAS TREE FARM. (SERIOUSLY)
TO MY REPEAT REVIEWERS I WISH I HAD A COOL NAME FOR YOU THAT WASN'T USED HUNDREDS OF TIMES LIKE 'THE REVIEW CREW' HOW ABOUT WEEKENDERS??? OH WELL YOU GUYS MAKE ME SOOOO VERY HAPPY! PS BLUEBERRY958 I HEART YOU!!!
I HAVE TO GIVE A GREAT BIG HONKING HUGE THANK YOU TO ARICULLEN1134 FOR PIMPING ME ON HER PAGE. I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET SO THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
AS ALWAYS TO MY GIRLS SENDMEONMYWAY AND IKINZ ILY XXOOXX!
I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE!
Sunday morning, I rolled out of bed tired from the night before. I hadn't slept well at all. I knew Lauren was upset that I had cut our evening short. I was having a little bit of an internal struggle with myself. At lunch yesterday I saw Bella's face when I got a case of verbal stupidity and blurted out that I would love to have EJ in my wedding to Lauren. She had tried to hide it but I had seen the pain flash in her eyes as she held that fake smile on her face. I had wanted to pull her into my arms begging her forgiveness for my careless words. I was relieved when Esme followed her to the ladies room, thankful that when they returned Bella looked much better.
Even if she didn't have feelings for me anymore I knew she was alone and had put her romantic life on hold for our son. I was pretty sure it wasn't easy for her watching as her child's father got married while she sat on the side lines. Yet the thought of her with someone else made my heart ache. I was starting to question my feelings for Bella, for Lauren and the decisions I had made lately.
When Lauren held my hand in the restaurant last night a niggling feeling of being suffocated crept over me. I had to remind myself that Bella had moved on and so had I.
Not for the first time this week I started to doubt my decision to marry Lauren though.
On the drive back to Lauren's home last night I called to say good night to EJ. The voices and laughter in the background tugged on me as he told me about spending the day with Jackson and Sammy. Jasper and Emmett had returned from the gun show and Bella had made everyone dinner. As it was Saturday night, and he had company his Mom had decided to let him stay up a little later. He, Jasper and Sammy were building a fort in his room.
As he chattered on and on I realized that I wanted to be there with my family and not driving Lauren home where she wanted me to spend the night. When I hung up with EJ, I made the excuse that I wasn't feeling well but I was pretty sure she saw through me. I even kicked myself on the way home, who turns down a beautiful woman like Lauren? Was I an idiot?
As I poured myself a bowl of cereal I decided that I needed to get out of the house otherwise my churning thoughts were going to drive me crazy. I remembered that Jason had given me his card yesterday so we could get together to play golf. Maybe I would give him a call and see if he wanted to get together and hit a couple buckets of balls at the practice range this afternoon.
Imagine my surprise when I called and found out that EJ and Tyler had a play date that day at Jason's house. We quickly changed plans and decided to take the boys to the batting cages and then lunch so that Jen could have the day off.
I offered to pick up EJ and meet him at ten o'clock. I called and left a message on Bella's cell letting her know of the change of plans and quickly got ready to go.
On the way over to Bella's I realized that I had forgotten to give EJ back his Ipod yesterday. I would have to make a play list on mine so that when he rode with me I could play his music for him.
I grabbed the Ipod and quickly scanned to find his play list and was surprised to see one that was named EDWARD and one that was named EJ.
I opened the list that was named EDWARD and scanned the songs listed.
AT LAST –ETTA JAMES
MY MY MY – JOHNNY GILL
SOMEBODY'S ME-ENRIQUE EGLASIAS
MON ESSENTIAL – EMMANUEL MOIRE
JE ME PERDS- JENA LEE
STARTS AT GOODBYE-CARRIE UNDERWOOD
STILL-LIONEL RICHIE
DRIVING MYSELF INSANE-MARTIN KEMPER
JUST ONCE-QUINCY JONES
I MISS YOU-KLIMAXX
I recognized the first two songs as they were on my play list under WEEKEND followed by all the songs over the years that I heard that reminded me of her...
My heart started to race at what the meaning of a play list on EJ's Ipod with my name on it entailed. I thought back to that day when Bella and I went for a run, her Ipod had a play list with Peter's name on it. She said it had man hater – girl power songs on it. Did she have man hater songs on this one too? I skipped the first two songs as I knew them well and hit play.
Enrique's voice filled my car and I listened to the lyrics of the song 'Somebody's Me.' I turned into a parking lot and put my car into park just sitting there stunned. Did she feel this way about me? As I sat there and went over this in my mind the implication of it hit me hard. Did she still love me?? She still loved me? She couldn't still love me, could she?
Song after song came on singing of loss, love or longing. I felt my heart filling my chest and squeezing. What was I going to do? I sat there for so long my mind whirling and spinning like a top. 'Use logic' I told myself, I had time to figure my next move making sure that I wasn't jumping to conclusions. Maybe she had made this list as a reminder of what we once had but didn't feel the same anymore. I decided I would wait and watch before I made a decision on what to do about Bella. I needed to examine my relationship with Lauren anyway. I knew now that I shouldn't marry her if I was still in love with the ghost I once knew as Jane Doe. The question now was am I in love with the woman I now knew as Isabella Swan?
I took a deep breath and pulled back out onto the road heading for Bella's apartment my mind still in a swirl.
I parked and slipped the Ipod into my glove compartment having decided to write down the names of all the songs before I gave it back. I sat there a few minutes until I calmed down so that I didn't make a complete fool of myself when I saw her in a few minutes.
I rang the buzzer a few times before her voice came over the intercom. "Yes" she called.
"Bella it's me Edward, I am here to pick up EJ" I called back over the pop and crackle.
"Hold on" was her reply.
A minute later the door opened and there she stood hair a messy knot on her head, sweat pants, t-shirt, a button up cardigan and some thick socks. She had a book in one hand and those sexy librarian glasses I loved so much. My heart sped up and my mouth went dry as I had to remind myself not to focus on her lips rather than her eyes.
"I am sorry, we must have gotten our wires crossed, EJ has a play date today with Tyler"
"Did you get my message on your cell?" I asked
She shook her head.
"I called Jason to see if he wanted to go to the hit some balls at the driving range and he mentioned the play date today so we switched plans. We are going to take the boys to the batting cages and lunch to give Jen a few hours to herself this afternoon." I explained.
She smiled, "that was kind of you" then she realized she hadn't invited me in.
"OH, would you like to…" suddenly she screamed and took off running past me and I whirled just in time to see her jump into the arms of a man that was walking up. He was holding a bakery box in one hand and when she leaped into his arms he almost dropped it. On instinct I reached out and grabbed the teetering box before it fell.
My heart sunk, I watched her hug and kiss his face laughing the whole time. Instantly I was jealous, was my information incorrect? Maybe she did have someone in her life. The stranger was laughing and set her back down calling her "Ma petite puce," before kissing her on the forehead then her nose. Suddenly I felt a little hand take mine, I looked down at EJ watching the same scene with a look of confusion on his face.
I took a minute to examine her visitor; he appeared to be only a few years older than her. He had black hair, olive skin and looked like he worked out regularly. He smiled at me over her head and then reached out to shake my hand. I let go of EJ's hand and shook his hand and then handed him back his bakery box not missing the golden BARDE label on the box.
EJ grabbed my hand and pulled it to get my attention. When I looked at him he looked at the stranger then took a step behind my leg peering back out at his mother who had the biggest smile on her face and a look I could only categorize as adoration as she looked up at Mr. Bakery Box.
"Hello, I am Laurent" he introduced himself the French accent strong.
Bella seemed to wake up and turned to me, blushing as she introduced me.
"Laurent, this is my friend Edward who is the father of my son EJ, EJ, Edward this is my cousin Laurent" she said with a huge smile on her face.
"Ah, the resemblance is remarkable no?" Laurent asked gesturing to EJ.
At first I couldn't think past 'cousin' as it repeated in my head 'cousin, cousin, cousin.'"Uh yes, He can't deny me when he is thirteen" I joked. "Is that what I think it is?" I asked pointing to the bakery box with a smile.
Laurent laughed "French pastries, my father made sure I brought them along with me on my surprise visit for our petite puce!" he gestured toward Bella.
"Little Flea?" I translated thinking what a weird endearment it was.
Bella rolled her eyes and headed back toward the stairs through the open door.
"Come on, I have some coffee to go with those and I am sure he will tell you all about it" she huffed as she passed me with a smirk on her face.
Laurent shrugged and followed, while EJ held my hand not quite sure yet about his mother's cousin.
In the kitchen I got down the coffee mugs while Bella brought the cream from the refrigerator. When I turned back I was faced with a knowing look on Laurent's face at my obvious familiarity with Bella's kitchen. "Friends eh?" he questioned.
It was my turn to shrug.
"So? Petite puce? " I reminded.
"When I was eleven this monster" he pointed at Bella "used to follow me everywhere like a flea on a dog, so one day when I told her she couldn't go with me and my friends she bit me and drew blood. Hence the name fit and she has been ma petite puce every since" he finished with a laugh at Bella's expression.
"You are lucky you are my favorite cousin" she warned.
"I am your only cousin ma cherie" he leaned over and kissed her nose again.
"So EJ you don't remember me eh? " He smiled as my son just stared at him then shook his head.
"L'oncle Phillippe est mon pere." Laurent smiled as EJ's face lit up.
Suddenly EJ was speaking so quickly I almost couldn't translate what he was saying. Laurent threw back his head and laughed as EJ's questions peppered him. Where was Phillippe? Where had Laurent been? Why had they not seen him in France? When he had been in France had he seen the new puppy at his Grandmother's house? In his excitement he didn't give Laurent a chance to answer before the next question.
Laurent explained that he had been at an exclusive culinary academy in France for the last three years which was why EJ didn't remember him. When Bella had been in France, Laurent hadn't been able to get away.
The last time he had seen him EJ was still a toddler. Now that he was back in the US, he had spent the night with his parents in Seattle, and then drove down to Portland to surprise Bella.
As I sipped my coffee and feasted on the fantastic pastry I realized how fascinating it was to watch Bella's interaction with her cousin. The mutual joy and love radiated out of both of them as they talked animatedly about family, friends and caught up on each others life. The radio had been playing on low in the background when suddenly Laurent laughed and turned the volume up. "I love this song!" he laughed as he grabbed Bella's hand and twirled her into a dance in the kitchen. She was radiant as she threw her head back and laughed.
'Hey Soul Sister ain't that Mister Mister on the radio, stereo the way you move ain't fair ya know' Laurent sang along as he dipped her and swirled in a crazy impromptu dance with Bella following along her cheeks full of color.
EJ and I whistled and clapped when the song ended with them bowing gracefully as if accepting an award. Bella's eyes were bright and meeting mine she pinked up even more. Her beauty always took my breath away. Here she was sweats, t-shirt and messy hair, but to me she was more beautiful than if she stepped off a runway. 'Stop it' I told myself and forced myself to look at my watch.
"Well, I hate to break up this performance but this little monster and I have to hurry if we are going to meet our friends." I said messing up EJ's hair.
She smiled and grabbed EJ's hand. "Come on mister lets get you ready"
EJ looked back at me "Are you coming to Tyler's too?"
"We are meeting Tyler and his dad at the batting cages. Do you like baseball?" I asked.
"Yes, I played last year" he answered a proud smile on his face.
"Great, we are going to go to a place that we can practice. It's a lot of fun too"
"Okay" he smiled pulling his mom towards the hallway.
I turned back to Laurent who was watching me.
"You still love her no?" he asked his eyes never leaving mine.
"I am engaged to someone else" I put it as simply as it was at this moment.
"Ah, I see. The heart wants what the heart wants. You still love her, I know you won't hurt her" his face serious. I was embarrassed and tongue tied.
Before I could respond Bella walked back in grabbing her coffee cup off the island. "How long are you staying?" she asked Laurent.
"In Portland today but in Seattle I am back to stay. The Barde family is branching out into the world of haute cuisine. We are starting work on the restaurant in two weeks." the excitement in his voice evident.
"Oh Laurent, that is so wonderful" she squealed giving him a hug.
EJ walked back in carrying his back pack and his jacket.
"Okay, well I guess we are all ready to go, it was so nice meeting your Laurent, I am sure we will see each other around" I took his hand and looked him in the eye conveying that I knew our stunted conversation wasn't over.
Bella hugged and kissed EJ on the forehead and smiled at me. "Call me on your way back so that I can be sure to be here. I have some errands I may run" she advised.
"Sure, if you are running late we can just hang around till you get back" I suggested. "EJ has a key in his backpack so if you do get back before me make yourself at home" she smiled and walked us to the door.
"OH WAIT! EJ's BOOSTER" she called.
"I bought one yesterday after lunch for my car so I got it covered" I called back.
Her smile lit up her face and I knew that my need to be a real dad to EJ made her happy. It was a good feeling.
I hooked EJ into the car, stowing his gear in the trunk.
When I started the car EJ asked "Hey, can I listen to my Ipod?"
"Sure" I reached for my glove compartment to grab his Ipod.
"Here ya go" he said holding out a different Ipod. It was almost exactly the same as the one in the glove compartment. I realized that the one in the glove compartment must be Bella's and yesterday EJ must have grabbed the wrong one from her car. A piece of the puzzle slid into place.
I took the Ipod from him and hooked it into place hitting play again without looking. I vaguely listened to a bubblegum pop song as EJ sang along in the back seat. I couldn't help the dopey grin on my face. It was her Ipod. It was HER Ipod.
We met up with Jason and Tyler before heading on over to the batting cages.
I really enjoyed spending time with EJ. He was a great kid with a really fun personality. Working with him on how to improve his swing and encouraging him as he tried only to have him look to me for approval made me proud.
I could see why EJ and Tyler were friends as they got along so well. Jason and I hit it off too and by the time lunch rolled around had made plans to hang with the guys in a few weeks.
I called Bella about an hour before we were ready to head back and made plans to meet her as she was still out running errands.
When EJ and I got back I quickly pulled out my notebook and made a note of the songs on her play list adding one more song to remember to down load. 'Hey Soul Sister' by Train.
I slipped her Ipod into the side pocket of EJ's back pack hoping that she would think that EJ had put it in there by mistake.
EJ unlocked the door and we headed upstairs and flipped on the light.
"Um..Do you think that you could read me some more Harry Potter since you won't be here later?" he asked shyly.
"Sure" I smiled as he ran out of the room to go grab the book.
We made ourselves comfortable on the couch as we again explored the world of Hogwarts. I had to admit that I really liked the story beginning to get lost in it with EJ at my side his head on my shoulder.
Bella arrived amidst grocery bags. EJ and I jumped up to assist her in carrying her purchases in.
She started to put them away while EJ chattered away about all the things we had done that day. She smiled when he talked about how much fun we had. She advised him to run and get ready for dinner while she threw something together then she offered me dinner if I wanted to stay.
I accepted gladly picking up the conversation once EJ ran off to wash his hands.
I offered to help make dinner and she handed me vegetables, a colander and a knife.
She picked up a bag that was from one of those girly soap stores. She pulled out a pump bottle of hand soap setting it by the kitchen sink before walking down the hallway with a few other packages then returned to the kitchen. She opened the bottle she had set on the counter a few minutes before, pumped some into her hands, washing them while I watched fascinated. The smell of the soap filled the room of melons. I smiled and set to work chopping vegetables for the salad.
She uncorked a bottle of white wine handing me a glass while I continued to marvel at her efficiency. She quickly threw together a marinade placing the chicken in it setting it aside while her grill heated.
She poured some olive oil into the pan and began browning rice. Once I was finished with the salad I started on braising the asparagus realizing that we worked quite well as a team. She switched the radio on low turning the dial until a soft classical station streamed into the room.
As we worked I felt comfortable enough to broach the subject of spending more time with EJ. We agreed that I would walk him to school three days a week Monday, Wednesday and Friday then I would take him too and from piano lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
EJ had plans for a fishing trip with her dad on Saturday in Forks so I suggested that maybe Saturday night he could come and stay with me at my parent's home in Seattle. We called EJ in and asked him how he felt about the idea and he seemed excited at the new arrangements.
As we carried everything to the table EJ suddenly piped up "Are you going to stay and read to me again?" I looked at Bella and she smiled. "Sure, if your mom doesn't mind." Secretly I was thrilled that he wanted me to be the one to read to him and I knew it showed as Bella winked at me.
Dinner was comfortable, Bella asking me about work and how things were going, I in turn asking about the bookstore. Her eyes lit up as she talked about a few ideas she had to expand the store and remodel the children's area
Someone had suggested that she model the larger chains adding in a café area. Once she had given it thought she decided that she would just add a little cart with free coffee, sprinkling a few seating areas here and there with overstuffed chairs and table lamps to make it feel like sitting in your own home.
Her main business was internet based with the actual store itself catering to locals who were repeat customers. She gave me an overview of her color schemes her excitement flashing in her beautiful brown eyes.
Once dinner was done EJ and I did the dishes pushing Bella out of the kitchen so we could have some 'man time.'
EJ brought the dishes to me to rinse and put in the dishwasher before we washed the pots and pans with me washing and him drying and putting them away.
He chattered away about school and his friends. He also seemed very excited about his fishing trip with Grandpa Swan. He told me the last time he had gone fishing; Uncle Billy had come along with his dog 'Steve' that looked like a wolf.
Every time they caught a fish the dog would try to jump into the water to grab it.
"Why did he name his dog Steve?" I couldn't help but ask. EJ just shrugged his shoulders.
After piano practice and his bath we settled on the couch with his book. I treasured this. To think a week ago I didn't know I had a son. Now my whole life was about him. Once he was tucked in I made plans to leave. "I'll be here tomorrow to walk you to school ok buddy?" I tousled his damp hair.
The smile that lit up his face made my heart squeeze.
"Okay I'll see ya in the morning" his smile making mine bigger.
I leaned down and kissed the top of his head.
"I love you little man" I whispered.
"I love you too" he whispered back and turned onto his side. I felt the tears well up and left the room with a lump in my throat. My son loves me! the thought of this made the joy beat in my chest.
Bella had been standing in the kitchen waiting for me, I appreciated her letting me have time alone with him.
"Well I better go" I looked up into her face.
"Hold on" Bella hurried out of the room, then headed down the back staircase, when she walked back in holding a book in her hand I was a little confused. She handed it to me with a smile "I was thinking that if you don't mind you could call him every night and read to him?"
I looked down to see the Harry Potter book EJ and I had been reading. Her thoughtfulness touched me. "Thank you, this is a great idea!" impulsively I hugged her and felt her stiffen in my arms. 'Stupid, Stupid, Stupid' I thought as I let her go and stepped back afraid to look her in the eye.
When I did look up she looked stunned then her smile lit up her face. "Your welcome, he really seems to enjoy you reading to him and this way he can follow along here"
Bella walked me down to the front door.
"Hey B?" I asked turning toward her.
"Hmm" she said stopping at the bottom stair.
"Have you noticed that he never calls me Dad or Edward or anything but 'hey"?'" I worried my bottom lip.
"Yeah, give him time Edward. This is big for him. I have heard him bragging to his friends on the phone about you. Plus yesterday with Jackson I overheard him say a few times that 'his Dad said' and he would 'ask my Dad'. It was like he was trying the sound of it out to see how it fit. "She had reached out and was rubbing my arm in encouragement. The need to pull her into my arms and hold her was so strong that I had to brace myself. I forced myself to turn away. "Thanks your right, all we need is a little time and this all will sort itself out." I opened the door knowing that I wasn't only talking about EJ.
"Drive Safe" she called after me.
As I drove away I realized that she was still standing in the doorway watching me. I was afraid that leaving her was going to get harder and harder. I need to make some decisions soon I thought as I connected my Ipod and hit the play list labeled 'WEEKEND.'
OH LAUREN THIS DOESN'T LOOK GOOD FOR YOU HONEY...OUR BOY IS HAVING DOUBTS.....
OK SERIOUSLY, REVIEWS ARE LIKE CRACK TO ME AND I AM ADDICTED TO THEM. I DEFY THE IT POLICE AT WORK TO CHECK MY YAHOO ACCOUNT TO SEE IF YOU HAVE LEFT THEM FOR ME. SO MAKE IT WORTH IT FOR ME AND HIT THAT LITTLE BUTTON!
