Chapter Eleven
It was beginning to rain.
She could hear it from her bathtub, lightly beating on her windows, threatening to come in and drown her. She was welcome to it. Why did I open my big mouth? The quiet was nice for once. She reached over and picked up a novel she had set aside. There was nothing like a thriller to finish off a day, a case that finished 500 pages or less. She turned it over to stare at the cover, then counted down from five, breathed deeply and sighed. Force of habit caused her to pick up a dark novel with a silhouette on the cover, the name Richard Castle emblazoned above it. No matter where she turned, she was unable to shake him loose it seemed. Groaning, she tossed the novel aside and sank below the water line.
Drowning seemed to be a good idea.
Underwater was a good place to be without hearing that name. It seemed to be everywhere. Bookstores, the newspapers and the precinct… even her bookshelves were mocking her. Being underwater was doing her no good. It was too quiet. There was too much thinking going on. She had to get out of that tub.
Work.
Work would be a good idea right now.
Reluctantly, she reached for the towel and hopped out. She still had some work to do at the precinct and with everyone gone to Castle's little party; she was going to be alone for the most part. Quiet and work… That'll do. Sighing, she dressed and clipped her gun and badge to her belt. She stared out the window. The rain was letting up. As cold and as wet as it was, her motorcycle would have to do for the night. She pulled on her leather jacket and picked up her helmet from the hallway closet. As she opened the door, she found the one person she wanted to avoid on the other side.
"Castle!"
"Beckett!" he said, startled. Stepping back and glanced at his counterpart, "What happened to your dress?"
"It went bibbity bobbity boo and turned back into these jeans and this shirt. The heels also turned back into my boots too if you're curious. So if that's all, I need to get going."
"Whoa! Wait." he had gone straight to the precinct hoping that she was going to be there like she normally was. When Officer Rennick let on that he hadn't seen Beckett since the afternoon, he turned around and went to her apartment. He was a dripping a little onto her bamboo floors from the flash rainstorm that they had just received. He had been pacing outside, trying to find a way to tell her how he felt. "We need to talk."
"Castle, can't this wait?"
"No. When you said you didn't want to talk at the party, I figured it was because you didn't want to have this conversation in front of my guests."
"Castle, we're not having this-
"When you didn't respond to my phone calls I figured that you wanted to do it face to face." he lifted a finger to tell her to hold. His patience was wearing thin with her when all he wanted to do was hold her still and lay one on her.
"Castle-
"When you didn't answer the door, I figured you were still pretty peeved." He was blocking her way out the door. She could have taken him down in one fell swoop but she decided against it. His ego wouldn't be able to take it. "So here I am, weeks later at your door and I think speaking now, would be fantastic."
"Fine. You want to talk, we'll talk."
"Kate I-
"Nuh huh, no, you said talk and I'm talking so zip it Castle. I was on drugs and we were in a high intensity situation, I said must have said a lot of things and obviously, some of it made you uncomfortable. Let's just forget about this and get back to work because you have 2 books left to write and we have more killers to catch. Besides, are you-
He put a hand on her mouth to stop her from talking. Her eyes flashed red with anger. He knew he only had minutes to convince her. She wasn't like any other woman. He had to make her understand before he can finally do what he had wanted to for so long.
"Kate, I'm not sure what this is we're doing." He stared into her green eyes, trying to make her understand, then drove a hand through his hair. "I'm not doing this right am I? Look, you're right. I'm not the best guy with this feelings and relationship business. But you knew that already, as I recall. But I'm ready. I'm so far beyond ready. I'm in for long haul if it's going to be with you. You can't get rid of me."
"Castle, no. It won't... We can't... I-
"Kate." He was holding on to her for dear life. "If you can trust me enough to give me your gun and trust me enough that I can back you up, then trust me about this. We can stumble through this feelings stuff together because obviously, we're both a little stunted in that department. I'm in, Kate. I'm all in."
He paused to let it all sink in for her. She did all she could to look away, staring at her own reflection off of her motorcycle helmet, uncomfortable with the situation he had put her in for the second time that day.
"Castle. Don't do this." She struggled against him. "Don't do this right now. I can't…
"Why not?" The scent of her shampoo was driving him to distraction, but he forced himself to concentrate and his words came out in jumbles. Can the Book Review see him now… At her silence, he continued on. "Why not us? This works Kate. You and me, we work… we work really well together. There is no reason for us not to be together. This makes sense. I have been stupid. But so have you. You never make your feelings clear and I never know what you're really thinking. I thought you cared about me, cared about me more than just a friend. I thought we were going somewhere. My heart fell to pieces when I saw you with Demming. So I naturally thought that you didn't want to be with me. I mean, you never made any move towards me so I thought I was stupid for thinking that you would have feelings for me. But here I am, making a move. Kate, I-"
"Shut up." She had that look on her face- the one she wore when she was trying to figure out her suspect. He's right, there's no excuse… Coming to that realization, she felt her heart skip a beat. The heart wants what the heart wants. He had once said to her. Well isn't that the truth... Castle could feel her relaxing and loosening up as he pulled her closer to him.
"I'm not running away." she whispered.
"That's okay, I'm not giving you the chance to run away." She felt a slow smile grow on her face and he gave a light chuckle. "Not this time."
A buzz rang out from her phone and she turned away from him. "Castle, I have to get that."
He gave her a look, then sighed staring heavenward. She pulled out her cellphone from her back pocket and responded: "Beckett." She never took her eyes off of him until something peaked her interest from the other end of the line. "Right. I'll be right there."
"There's been a murder at the pier. We're going to have to finish our little conversation later." she leaned in and whispered into his ear. He had that dumbfounded look that he carried from that first day they met. Tossing the helmet back into her closet, she walked out into the hallway with that confident bounce in her step he had grown familiar with. Then she turned around.
"Castle, you coming?"
