The Way We Was

Chapter 10: Fearful Time


AN: I am so sorry about the wait!! But, without futher ado, here is chapter 10.

Standard disclaimers apply.

BPOV


Chicago - 1918


I awoke in a hospital that I'd never been to before. Or maybe I had and I just couldn't remember. All I could think about was Edward. Where was he? Was he okay? I could answer the last one: he most certainly wasn't okay; he was far from it. I started to get up, but cold hands suddenly stopped me.

"You shouldn't get up just yet. Try to relax and lay down, okay?"

I simply stared at him. How dare he stop me from looking for my Edward? I needed my Edward. I couldn't lose him now. I wanted, needed, more time with him. I could not give up just yet. I would fight for him with all of my strength. I would die in the process if it would save him.

The cold-handed man gently touched my shoulder. "I'm Doctor Carlisle Cullen." He paused. I knew he had more to say. There was something else going on that I didn't know about.

Speak! Speak! Tell me now! I shouted in my head.

"Your husband and mother-in-law have the Spanish Influenza. Your father-in-law has already passed." Dr. Cullen's lips turned down at the news.

So it wasn't just my love that had fallen ill; it was his entire family. How had my family, myself included, not have gotten sick yet? Why did Edward have to suffer so much? Even though I didn't know where he was, I knew he was in much pain. I wanted to take the pain away. I could imagine it in my mind. The suffering, the unbearable heat, the sickening taste in my mouth.

Dr. Cullen took one more look at me before I started to cough up blood, just as Edward had done at our wedding. I wouldn't be able to fight for him if I was sick too. I had to save him. Save my Edward.

"Save my Edward . . . ."


I burned. I couldn't feel anything else. When I tried to speak, I couldn't. My eyes wouldn't open. I felt trapped.

"Bella?" A beautiful angel's voice . . . where was it coming from? "Bella, my love?" So strained. Was that how his voice should sound? "Love, are you okay? It's Edward. Can you hear me? Bella! Don't leave me!" My angel's voice sounded so agonized. I couldn't let that happen. He was supposed to be joyous, healthy. Everything he wasn't at the moment.

I made my voice squeak out, "I'm here, Edward. I love you." Every word was strained, but I would do anything for Edward.

"Bella, thank God you're still alive! I thought I had already lost you. I love you so much, it would be unbearable without you." Edward's voice pretended to be strong, but it was weaker than mine. He couldn't hide it from me. He wanted to be strong for me, my gentlemanly husband.

"Edward . . . I won't leave you. I would never even think it."

"Nor would I leave you." I felt his hand reach over and take my hand. He was burning up more than I. The illness had really taken its toll on him. How was it that he was able to function better than I? I had to try harder. He was trying his hardest for me. I had to make the exchange equal. He couldn't always be the giver; he had to receive as well.

"I will love you forever, Edward."

"I will love you for all eternity, my Bella."

I was losing consciousness, but I still had some time. I tried to open my eyes. I had to see Edward. I needed to imprint his image in my head. I would not live without the memory of his perfection. No one else in the world could ever compare.

I slowly made my eyes flutter open and turned to face Edward. I saw his pain and suffering, although it was a little blurry on the edges. His hair was going out in all different directions, his face was covered in sweat. Yet his green angel's eyes glowed with sweet warmth. I could see myself reflected in his orbs, but not clearly. I could tell that I still looked healthier than he. That wasn't to say that I looked great, though. My hair was strewn out everywhere, matted in a few places. I too was covered in sweat, but the thing that captured me that hardest was the longing, pleading look in my eyes. I knew there was no way I could save Edward or myself. I was still determined to find a way. I would walk through the depths of hell before he slipped away from me.

Dr. Cullen came into the room. It was the first time I had noticed that it was dark outside. I also noticed the paleness of his skin. He was pale as the snow outside, paler than all of the sick people suffering around us.

The doctor first scanned the room for dead bodies to take to the morgue before approaching Edward and I. After another second, I noticed Mrs. Masen laying on Edward's other side. She had been silent the entire time, but she obviously still had energy coarsing through her. She was just as determined, or even more so, than I to save Edward. Even though she looked alive, she was closer to death than anyone else I could see in the room.

"I see that you're finally awake," Dr. Cullen said to me. He had a thermometer and a bucket with rags. He gave a slight nod toward Edward and Mrs. Masen. Quite technically, I was also Mrs. Masen . . . I couldn't afford to let my mind wander.

Focus, Bella, I told myself.

Dr. Cullen put the thermometer in my mouth and wet a rag with cold water to help with the unbearable heat. He did this to everyone around me, and he was as gentle as he could be. Just when it looked like he was ready to move along to the other part of the hospital, Elizabeth Masen started frantically talking to him in a weak voice that wasn't audiable to me. The doctor looked shocked at whatever she had said. He took a moment before he walked out.

At that point, I began to lose consciousness again.


I felt the burning, but this time it was with a vengence. I felt like I was dying. I couldn't open my eyes. I tried to hold in my screams, but I couldn't contain them any longer. I screamed louder and louder as my body began thrashing.

But then I felt a hand in my hand. The texture, the grip . . . it was my angel, laying right next to me. My angel was with me in the middle of hell. I knew that before I said I would walk through the depths of hell for Edward, but the pain was unbearable.

I wanted to die.

Suddenly, I heard Edward scream. It clicked: we were both going through this hell together, hand in hand. It was utterly ironic. We were stubbornly determined to stay together forever, and here we were, slowly making our way through hell, where we may or may not make it out alive. I could only hope that the burning would end soon.

I continued to keep my screams in, but I couldn't always contain them. Edward tried too, but he ended up screaming more than I did. His pain felt like it was worse than mine. I couldn't even imagine it. I was glad that I couldn't open my eyes and see his agony. I hoped that he couldn't see mine either.

My ears grew more sensitive. I could hear what was going on better. I heard even breathing coming from some where nearby. I couldn't hear any heartbeats other than my own and Edward's, but it sounded like they were slowing. Were we really dying? If we did die, would we be together for eternity, like he had promised? I didn't have time to question when or where we would go, but I kept hoping that it would be together.


Time didn't have any meaning anymore. It was filled with agonizing pain.

Do this for Edward, I repeated to myself. It had become my manta for the past however long I'd been going through this hell.

Do this for Edward. Do this for Edward. . . .

The pain lightened up at my feet and my fingers. Was my mantra working? Was I dying or being brought back to earth? It didn't matter. Any sign of the pain disappearing made me thankful. If it was disapating, than it would be over soon. No more suffering . . . for either of us.

I felt Edward start ot untense, which gave me more hope. He had been in more pain than I.

Time slowly started to gain meaning. I counted the even breaths to keep time. I still had no idea how long the suffering had been going on, but I would be able to tell how much longer.

A cool and calm voice broke through my thought process. "You're almost done, I promise. I must apologize to both of you for what I've done. It's a terrible and cruel thing, but I did it to save your lives. My name is Carlisle Cullen, and I am a vampire. In aproximately ten minutes, so will you two. You will be ruled by your thirst, but you can fight it. You don't have to hunt humans. You can hunt animals like I do. I know you can hear me. I don't know if you've processed this thouroughly. I'll keep explaining it the best I can. You can get angry at me. I'll understand. I've put you through excruciating pain. That is unforgivable. But I hope you will let me guide you through this new . . . existence. If you want to go your own separate ways, than that's fine as well. You have about five minutes left. Again, I'm very sorry about all of the pain that I've caused you."

What? Vampires didn't exist. This was a terrible nightmare. I was just imagining that the doctor from that strange flu hospital was a vampire. This fever was really getting to me. But the burning was nearly gone. Could what Carlisle said be true? There was a slight possibility, albeit very small. I couldn't believe anything just yet.

Then again, I never believed in true love, but Edward showed me that time and time again. If Carlisle could prove to me the existence of vampires, then I would have no other choice than to believe him the way I believe about true love. But that moment still hadn't come, so I continued to wait. Another fifty breaths. I heard Edward's heart give one last final beat and then it stopped altogether. He laid perfectly still for ten more breaths and then my heart also ceased to beat.

Neither of us moved. I was fairly sure that we were in shock. I didn't even move my eyes. I kept them tightly shut. I still felt Edward's hand in mine, so I gently squeezed it to get a reaction out of him. He gave a quick squeeze back and I felt his shift onto his side, so I followed suit. I dared to open my eyes very slowly. There, more beautiful than ever, was my sweet angel's face. There was something terribly wrong with his eyes. They were blood red. And upon farther examination, so were mine. We also had the same chalky white skin. I quickly threw those appearances out the window, or rather, farther back into my mind. I found myself able to think about many things at once. I knew that the thing I wanted most at the moment was a kiss from my Edward. Edward sensed what I wanted, what I needed, to know that this was all real. He leaned toward me and gave me a light kiss. The electric shock that I felt was overwhelming. It was as if a huge explosion had just gone off throughout my entire body. When I pulled away and looked at Edward, I knew that he had felt it too.

Then I felt the burning in my throat. It ached and burned like nothing I had ever experienced, but I couldn't find anything near me to satiate it.

"It's the want for blood. But you need to resist human blood." Carlisle looked at Edward and me. Edward looked oddly baffled and I didn't know why. "Edward, I do believe that you can . . . read minds. Did you see the images of animal hunting that I displayed for you?"

Edward nodded his head and then looked at me. "I can't read Bella's mind though. I'm finding it . . . frustrating."

I always knew that something was wrong with me. My beloved couldn't read my mind, but he could read everyone else's. Edward, however, did know how to read my facial expressions like an open book. He saw the hurt and the pain that I wasn't able to relate to him on his new level of mind.

"Bella, this is a good thing," he explained.

"How is it good? It's just one more thing wrong with me." I wanted to cry, but there weren't any tears to come down. Was that taken from me too?

"Do you really want me to know all of your thoughts, all the time?"

"No," I muttered. I was acting like a child. I couldn't have everything I wanted. Life, well . . . existence doesn't work that way. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. This is all very new. We need time to absorb all of it. Don't worry." Edward showed off his gorgeous crooked smile. It was even more beautiful now as a . . . I couldn't even think the word.

"The burning . . . is it normal?" I asked. Now that my slight bout of immaturity was out of the way, other needs had arisen in its place.

"Unfortunately, yes. It will never be fully satisfied on animal blood, but it gets a little bit easier to manage over time. You don't have to follow this philosophy, but I've found that it helps those like us to be more civilized. You don't have to stay with me if you don't want to. Like I said, everything is up to you." Carlisle looked lonely. I didn't want to leave him like that.

"Edward, I want to stay here. Carlisle can teach us what we need to know. Let's give this time." I pulled out my pleading look. "Please?"

He sighed deeply. "I want to stay too. But we can't all stay here. People will recognize us. We're supposed to be dead."

"That's not a problem," Carlisle said. "It's about time I moved again. I can't really pass as 37 anymore. We don't age, you know," he added with a small wink.

"This is out new life," I said as I held Edward's hand.

"Yes, the beginning of eternity."


AN: There will be an epilogue. I made this chapter extra long to make up for everything. I'm so sorry!! And I edited it after posting it. Hope all the errors are gone now.