Thank You.
Was Feeling A Little Depressed When I Starting Reading This Chapter... I Almost Cried Writing This.
I Wondered Why All Of You Were So Curious About Lucy's Past When You Already Knew The Reason.
I Wrote It In The First Chapter.
Issues.
Chapter 11.
"How was your day?" Bora asked Lucy.
"Got in a fight, kicked their asses, met up with old friends" Lucy responded.
"Old friends? You mean the anger management group?" Bora asked.
Lucy laughed at the name he called them, it fit perfectly. The Anger Management Group, Lucy didn't know why she hadn't thought of that. Boy was Bora funny.
"So they leave you alone yet?" Bora asked.
"More like constantly bothering me" Lucy said.
Bora paused for a minute.
"Hey two of my friends got their ass beat you wouldn't know anything about that would you?" Bora asked.
"Reno and Ivan?" Lucy asked.
He nodded. Lucy held up her hands and showed Bora the bandages.
"They were about to rape an innocent girl. I had to put them in there place" Lucy responded.
"Did you have to break there arms and legs though?" Bora asked.
"I only fucked up Ivan's face and kicked Reno a few times. That must have been the Anger Management Group" Lucy said and laughed again.
Wendy didn't understand why her protector was so close to the killer. Were they friends? Nah. Wendy remembered a cartoon where the good guy pretended to be bad to catch the other bad guy, maybe that was what her Nee-san was doing right now. She only hoped that Lucy wouldn't get caught.
"It's about to be that time again isn't it?" Bora asked.
Lucy pulled out her phone and checked the date; he took a deep breath and nodded.
"Just don't do anything too crazy and if you need me just call" Bora said.
"Yeah I will" Lucy said then turned her attention outside the window.
It's been three days. Three times Lucy was kicked out of Mr. Atsuki's class for acting like a fool. Three times she met Gajeel on the rooftop and smoked with him. Three times she helped Juvia in her fourth period. Worst of all, it's been three times that Natsu's been spending Nutrition and Lunch with Lucy.
Natsu was jealous of Jellal. How come Lucy considered Jellal a friend and not himself? Natsu decided he was going to change that. He wanted to be Lucy's best friend so he's been dedicating himself to her. Natsu would always meet her at Nutrition and try to strike up a conversation.
It usually resulted in Lucy ignoring him, same for Lunch too. If only she would opened up to him. Natsu knew he wasn't that smart but he believed he could help Lucy. Why was she acting out like this? Why was she bored all the time? Why couldn't she see Natsu cared for her? Natsu's questions would be answered today.
It was the fourth day. Lucy had to drag herself out of bed and walk to school with Wendy. Lucy hated everything about today. She had no energy, no attention span, no tolerance for anything. She just wanted it to be over. Why? Because today was her Mother's death anniversary.
Lucy walked into her first period and just laid her head on the desk. She didn't even bother saying hi to Atsuki or Bora. Bora knew why though, he's known Lucy since middle school, he knew what today was. He also knew tomorrow Lucy would be back to normal. Pretty soon Lucy was fast asleep. Natsu stared at her wondering what was wrong. Maybe she was tired he thought.
And for the first time, Lucy wasn't kicked out of Mr. Atsuki's class. She woke up to the bell ringing. Her eyes opened slowly then she stood up and walked out of class like everyone else. Lucy didn't want to go to 2nd period, she didn't want to go to any period. She just wanted to go on the roof and get wasted. If she did her mind would go numb so she could forget about all her issues. Lucy walked one step after another towards the stairs.
Natsu had been watching her. Didn't she have class with Gray? Why was she going that way? Natsu was thinking up of all the possibilities that he hadn't notice Bora walking up to him.
"Hey Dragneel" Bora said.
Natsu turned and glared at the man. It's all his fault he thought.
"Don't bother Lucy today, she has a lot on her mind and she really can't handle you right now" Bora warned then walked off.
Bother? Can't handle? Was Natsu really a bother to her? Enough for her to complain to her boyfriend? Natsu walked to class sulking the whole way.
Lucy ignored the bell ringing. She couldn't remember how many times it rang before. It felt like she had been up here all day drinking, in reality she probably was. Natsu hadn't visit her once. Lucy frowned wondering why she was thinking of him. She took another sip of her whisky and stood up. Her whole body felt numb and she had a little trouble doing so. Lucy stumbled her way to the gate surrounding the roof top and started climbing it. She sat at the top of the gate and let her feet dangle off the edge.
Lucy was feeling tipsy swaying side to side. She giggled as she downed the last of her whisky and threw it off the edge. By now Lucy was truly wasted. Lucy grabbed onto the gate and leaned back looking up at the clouds, she then leaned forward looking towards the ground. Before her intoxicated brain could realize she was going to fall and die if she didn't pull back, Lucy stared to fall off.
She closed her eyes and didn't bother pulling back. There was no point, no one cared about her, except maybe Wendy. She may have been the only one who truly cared about Lucy. Lucy pulled back again and looked behind her. Wendy was curled up into a ball sleeping. Then again Ms. Supetto loved Wendy, if Lucy was to end her life now Ms. Supetto could watch and care for her. Wendy would be fine.
Lucy didn't feel guilty anymore as she let herself slowly slide off the roof top gate. Right when she fell though Lucy felt something tugging on her wrist. She looked down and saw she was dangling on the side of the roof top. She looked up and saw Natsu's grip on her hand trying to keep her from falling.
"What are you doing?" Lucy asked in a calm voice.
She was ready to end her existence. Why had he saved her?
"I should be asking you that" Natsu said through clenched teeth then with a tug he pulled Lucy up and over the gate. He fell back with her landing on top of him.
Lucy lifted herself up and stared into Natsu's eyes. He was the one who had saved her. All of a sudden she felt a surge of anger course through her and she pushed herself off of him.
"What the fuck you do that for asshole?!" Lucy yelled.
Natsu was confused. Why was she angry at him? Hadn't he just saved her life! His eyebrows furrowed together.
"What save you? You know normally when someone saves someone else's life the person who just got saved usually says thank you!" Natsu snapped back.
He was pissed at her attitude. He was pissed that he had gotten shouted at for saving her life.
"Maybe I didn't want to be saved! Ever think of that? Of course you didn't, because you're an asshole!" Lucy yelled.
Wendy had started to stir with all the yelling. She opened one of her eyes and frowned at the scene in front of her. Her Nee-san looked pale and she was having trouble standing up straight. Nii-san was there too and they were glaring at each other.
"Why the hell wouldn't you want to be saved from dying?!" Natsu shouted back.
Wendy gasped, why had her Nee-san try to kill herself?
"Because I'm pissed off! I'm pissed off with the world so I wanted to leave it! I wanted to end my miserable existence! But that fucked up too like everything else in my life" Lucy yelled.
Natsu frowned at her words wondering what she meant. He took a deep breath and calmed himself down somewhat.
"Why are you so angry all the time?" he asked softy.
Hearing the softness in his tone softened Lucy up. She remembered Natsu always talking with her in that tone of voice when they were younger. Knowing the answer to his question though is what broke Lucy's tough facade. She collapsed to her knees and started crying.
"Because it's so unfair! It's so unfair that I suffered, that I'm still suffering. It's unfair how Wendy's suffering, that most people in the world are suffering. IT'S SO FUCKING UNFAIR!" Lucy yelled out.
Her tears wouldn't top flowing. Natsu was frozen there, not sure what to do with this new Lucy.
"Why are you suffering?" Natsu whispered.
Lucy remembered herself. She remembered where she was and who she was. She remembered who she was talking to and why she was here in the first place.
"Go away!" Lucy yelled.
"Not unless you tell me! I'm so sick and tired of your tough facade! What happened to you Lucy?! Why are you acting like this?! Tell me!" Natsu yelled at her.
"Someone like you wouldn't understand! You stayed with your friends, you had a perfect life! Wendy and I didn't!" Lucy yelled.
"What perfect life?! My best friend in the whole world left me when I was younger! And pretty soon after that my own Father abandoned me!" Natsu yelled.
Lucy stared at him.
"My own Father, just left me like I was nothing. Like he wanted nothing to do with me in the beginning. My life isn't perfect either but thanks to my friends they helped me and made me feel better which is all I'm trying to do with you" Natsu said.
"Well boo fucking hoo your Father left, at least you know he's still alive!" Lucy said.
She was giving away too much information.
"What do you mean Lucy? Tell me" Natsu said grabbing her.
"You want to know why I'm so fucked up and horrible? You want to know why I want nothing to do with you and your pesky little friends?" she asked looking him straight in the eye.
Natsu said nothing waiting for her to continue.
"I lost everything important to me! I lost everything that mattered to me 4 years ago, I lost the person I loved most in the world. I lost my Mother" Lucy said.
Natsu's hands dropped.
"She died because of my Father. She started getting sick after we moved from here, a year later it got worse. Father finally took her to the hospital and they told us she was dying. What eight year old wants to hear that her Mother is dying? It was some unknown disease, the doctors never seen it before so of course there was no cure for it. I had accepted it, but my Father hadn't. He used all the money he could to extend her life, to make her still be with us. He couldn't just let her die, he made her suffer! I had to watch my Mother rot away for 5 years before he finally pulled the plug!"
"After she died I began to hate my Father. I blamed him for her suffering, for her death. I became rude to everyone, I ditched all my new friends and swore a lot. I stared smoking and became a drug user. I started to drink every night for a month straight then I got bored of drinking, I got bored of most things. I started hanging around with the wrong crowds and partying. I didn't bother with school anymore and failed everything."
"I hated the world, it was unfair to me so I decided to get even with it. I became a bad ass and made people as miserable as me. I hated the universe for taking my Mother away from me. My Mother died and I become a fuck up for 4 years. After so long I didn't know how to do anything anymore but act like this. My Father may care but he can't bring back the real me. Wendy's a great kid but she can't help me through this, I'm all alone. I kid myself by saying I don't need anyone, that I don't' want anyone. That's all a big fucking lie. I need my Mother back with me. Without her I don't know who I am anymore. Without her I'm just this Lucy, I'm an imposter" Lucy said.
By now she had stopped crying. She was still a bit drunk but sober enough to not stumble as she stood up. Wendy and Natsu were frozen to their spots. They were surprised that someone like Lucy had so much bottled up emotions, so much hate and grief and pain. Natsu couldn't begin to relate to Lucy, he had never known his Mother and just like Lucy had said his Father was probably still alive.
Wendy knew how Lucy felt. She hated the fact that her parents were gone, she grieved for them and she felt pain that they weren't here anymore. But Wendy felt a little happy as well because she knew she wasn't alone. She had Lucy and Lucy had her. Her parents must have sent Lucy to her because of their similarities. Wendy needed someone and Lucy was there for her. Now Lucy needed someone and Wendy was going to be there for her.
Natsu took a step towards Lucy. To took another and another until he was close enough to engulfed her into a hug.
"Why Lucy? Why didn't you tell us?" Natsu said.
Lucy stared passed his shoulders, surprised at his gesture. She knew the only reason he was doing that was because he felt pity for her. She hated people pitying her. She didn't push him away though, she was too tired too.
"You all… you reminded me of the old times… you reminded me of my Mother when she was happy and healthy. I couldn't help thinking that if we hadn't moved that my Mother still would have been alive. Every time I was near you guys it hurt me because I remembered her. You all didn't leave me alone though, you brought back painful memories" Lucy said.
Lucy found the strength to push Natsu away.
"That still didn't answer my question" Natsu said.
"I didn't want their pity. I don't need your pity either so go" Lucy said quietly.
Natsu stayed where he was. She looked angrily at him, tears in the corner of her eyes.
"I don't want your fucking pity so fuck off!" she said angrily.
Natsu stayed where he was.
"I'll walk you two back home" Natsu said quietly. School was over already, Natsu only stayed to check if she had already left or not. None of his friends had seen her since 1st period and he didn't visit because of what Bora said. Natsu was glad he hadn't listened or else…
"Thanks but no thanks" Lucy spat.
"You can't walk properly and you have a kid with you. I'm walking you home" he said softly but sternly.
Lucy sighed and walked towards Wendy. She was grateful she hadn't woken up with all their yelling. She brushed the bangs out her face and picked her up. Lucy placed her on her shoulders and stumbled out angrily. Natsu sighed and went after the girl.
Natsu's Lucy, the real Lucy was still in there somewhere. The reason she's like this is because she's suffering so much. If only someone had just been there for her, she might not have changed so drastically. If only someone had cared then she wouldn't be bad ass. If only I had been there Natsu thought to himself.
Maybe that can change, maybe I can be with her now and help her he thought then quickly hurried to catch up with the girl.
