Klaus started violently when he woke up the next morning and went into the kitchen, seeing Roxie sitting at the table. "So..." she began. "Just who were you in bed with yesterday?"

"None of your business, Roxanne," Klaus replied. "That's who!"

"Oh, come on," Roxie urged. "You can tell me."

"Tell her what?" Felicity asked as she came into the kitchen and sat down. "I want to know too!"

"No!" Klaus shook his head. "I don't have to share my affairs with the entire house."

"Interesting choice of words there," Roxie smirked, and then looked at Felicity. "Hey," she said. "Has he had anyone unusual around here lately?"

Felicity shrugged. "I don't think so. Unless you count Amy as unusual."

"No," Roxie shook her head. "I count her as annoying."

At that moment, a yawning Amy came into the kitchen. "I need an extra large coffee," she said. "I can't keep my eyes open this morning."

"No one can blame you," Klaus grinned. "After the night you had."

Amy gave him a frown and gestured not too subtly at Felicity and Roxie. "Don't!" she mouthed.

"Don't what?" Felicity asked.

"Nothing," Amy said. "Nothing at all. I'm gonna have my coffee, I'm gonna go get dressed, and then we'll see what you need to do today." She patted Klaus on the shoulder and grabbed her coffee cup. Felicity looked from her retreating back to Klaus. "Are you two having sex?" She asked.

"It depends," Klaus replied. "Are you and Stefan having sex?"

"What?" Roxie asked, her eyes wide as she looked at Felicity. "You and Stefan? Really?"

Felicity sighed and looked Klaus in the eye. "So what if we are?" She told him. "What does it matter to you? If you're asking, you must've suspected for awhile, and because neither Stefan nor I are dead, I assume it doesn't bother you too much."

Klaus frowned. "I suppose that if you were to date someone, I would prefer you were with Stefan as opposed to a strange human boy from school. But..."

"But what?" Felicity asked. "It's too late for buts! How can you have a but?"

"He can always have a 'but'," Roxie replied. "Especially when it comes to us and boys. You should have seen what Vince looked like after Dad found out about my pregnancy scare and set his goons on him."

"Seriously, Daddy?" Felicity asked. "Seriously?" She sighed. "Okay, get it out. What's the big 'but' that's coming?"

"But I still think you're too young to date," Klaus replied. "I don't want you doing it anymore. I want you to focus on your schoolwork instead."

"All right," Felicity grinned. "It doesn't matter to me if you say I can't date. Stefan and I technically aren't dating anyway, since all we do is have-" She was cut off as Roxie put a hand over her mouth. "From a person who knows," she said, "I'd stop right there if I were you, Lissy."

"No," Klaus grinned. "Please finish your sentence. All you and Stefan do is have what?"

"What you and Amy were having but you don't want to admit it," Felicity replied. "That's all we have. I'm not stupid, Daddy. If you and Amy are having sex, just say so. It won't scar me or anything."

"Yeah," Roxie said. "It'll make us question your choice of girlfriend for sure, but it won't scar us for life."

"Amy is not my girlfriend," Klaus said between his teeth. "We're just-"

"Friends?" Roxie finished. "Is that the excuse you're gonna use? Seriously?"

"Morning, everyone," Stefan said, stretching his arms over his head. Klaus punched him in the face and he dropped to the floor. "What was that for?" He asked, rubbing his jaw. "Interesting way of saying 'Good morning', Nik."

"He knows about you and Felicity," Roxie told Stefan. "And he's kind of pissed off at you."

"How does he know?" Stefan asked, looking at Felicity. "You weren't stupid enough to tell him, were you?"

"No," Klaus said. "Let's just say I am much more perceptive than the two of you seem to want to give me credit for."

"So what happens now?" Stefan asked Klaus. "You gonna kick me out? Or kill me?"

Klaus chuckled. "Oh, Stefan. If I'd wanted you dead, it would have happened as soon as I realized what you and Felicity were doing. I wouldn't have waited until now."

Stefan scrambled to his feet and nodded. "Okay," he said. "Good point."

"All right," Klaus said to Felicity. "Eat your breakfast and go to school. You don't want to be late."

Rolling her eyes, Felicity grabbed an apple, took a bite, and then strode out of the kitchen. Stefan followed her, but when she went into her room to dress, he just stood outside the open door.

"I wish you would come to school with me," Felicity told him. "You could pass. People would believe you actually went there."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Stefan told her. "I've done the whole high school thing and it's not for me. I'm older than every kid in the class and everything you learn, I've already experienced first hand."

"What if you didn't come as a student?" Felicity asked. "What if you came as a teacher? You could compel our normal teacher to leave and then you could take their place. Like for example, our history teacher is a big bore. I think you'd be much better at it."

"No," Stefan said. "I'm not going to come to school with you. And how could you tell your dad about us?"

"I had to!" Felicity yelled. "It was the only way he'd confess about Amy! And even then he hasn't done it. He keeps just saying they're friends. I was suckered. Suckered, I tell you!"

"It's not your fault," Stefan told her. "You've only known him for sixteen years. I've known him longer."

"Didn't he compel you to forget a lot of the time that you two knew each other?" Felicity asked.

"Yes," Stefan nodded. "But that's beside the point. Don't you have school to be getting to?"

"I suppose," Felicity said. "Or I could skip it and we could, you know, do stuff."

Stefan shook his head. "No, thanks," he replied. "Based on the fact that your father knows about us, I think we should cool it for awhile."

"But I don't want to cool it!" Felicity cried. "I liked things the way they were!"

"Then you should have kept your mouth shut," Stefan replied, giving her a spanking. "Have a good day, kid."


Later that day, Amy turned off the television, shuddering. "I hate how they have to keep talking about all those bodies they found in the woods every five minutes!" She shuddered. "It's awful! Who would do something so horrible?"

Her eyes widened. "Do you think it was Adrian? Do you think he got bored and came down here?"

Klaus shrugged. "It's possible," he said.

Just then, the phone rang. Klaus went to answer it. "Hello?" He said.

"Klaus?" Selina asked. "Have you been watching the news?"

"Yes," He replied. "They keep reporting about a horrible mass murder in the woods not far from where you live. Did you know about that?"

"Yes," Selina nodded. "It was a vampire that killed all those people. Two, actually. Mikael was gonna kill them, but I had to talk him out of it."

"Please don't tell me you offered yourself instead," Klaus replied.

"No," Selina shook her head. "It was Elijah and Gregory. They were the ones who killed all those people."

Klaus was silent for a few minutes and then burst out laughing. "You're joking!" He said.

"No," Selina replied. "It really was them!"

"Well, I'm gonna have to hear about this from Elijah directly," Klaus replied. "Not that I don't trust your word, love."

"You wanna go out to dinner with Elijah and me and we can tell you about it?"

"Would it be all right if I brought a date?" Klaus asked.

"Did you seriously just ask me if you could bring a date?" Selina asked. "That's not what I was expecting you to say."

"Don't be jealous, love," Klaus chuckled. "You're with my brother and I'm only trying to be a good boy and not go after you anymore."

"I'm not jealous," Selina told him. "And I'm very happy with your brother. If you feel you're ready to move on and be with someone else, I'm proud of you. What's she like? The woman you want to bring? It is a woman, right?"

"Yes," Klaus told her. "Her name is Amy. Astrid sent her over to be Alistair's replacement."

"You're dating a witch?" Selina asked skeptically. "I'd be careful if I were you. Remember what happened with Adrian and Helene."

"Of course I remember!" Klaus replied irritably. "What happened between Adrian and Helene will not happen between Amy and me. Helene made Adrian weak. He loved her so much he lost his spine. I intend for my spine to stay exactly where it is."

"All right," Selina nodded. "I can't wait to meet her, and I'm sure your brother will be thrilled once I tell him. I'll have him call you again to make more permanent plans, okay?"

"All right," Klaus told her. "Goodbye." He hung up the phone and went back into the living room where Amy still sat, guarding the remote control. "Can I ask you a question?" He asked her.

"It depends," Amy replied. "If you want me to turn on the TV again so you can admire your son's handiwork, I refuse."

"It wasn't about that," Klaus replied. "And it wasn't Adrian who committed those murders. It was my brother, my good, moral brother, and his son. Wanna go on a double date with Elijah and his wife so they can tell us all about it?"

"Is that why you kept saying my name to whoever you were talking to?" Amy asked. "Cause you want to go on a date with me?"

"I wouldn't call it a date exactly," Klaus told her. "It's just four people going out to dinner and talking. That's all it is. So will you come?"

"You don't want to go with me!" Amy told him. "Talk to your daughters! Get your hands on the plethora of women they've picked out for you as prospective dates and pick one. Any of them would be better than me."

"Are you mad because Felicity and Roxie know about us?" Klaus asked her. "Because I haven't confirmed anything. I've just denied it."

"How could anyone have mistaken our relationship after you asked me about the night I had this morning?" Amy asked. "That was not subtle!"

"Well, I'm sorry!" Klaus replied. "I was just trying to tell you that I had a good time."

"Well, I did too," Amy said. "But given the fact that everyone in the house knows, I think we should stop."

"Why?!" Klaus asked. "Cause you're still stuck on marrying a witch boy?"

"I'm just trying to be realistic," Amy told him. "How long do you think both of us can be happy with just having our relationship be sex?"

"I don't know," Klaus replied. "Selina and I lasted almost ten years."

"Are you telling me that you were honestly able to go ten years of having sex with her and you made no attachment whatsoever?" Amy asked.

Klaus sighed. "Okay, I admit that when she let my brother put her on a ship to America on the night she was supposed to meet my sister Anna and me to go on a train to somewhere else so we could get away from my father...it didn't feel good."

"There you go!" Amy told him. "Emotional attachment. I don't want to hurt you like she did. I don't want us getting really attached only to have your soul crushed because I have to marry a warlock. I just...I just want to do my job, and that's it."

"Well, all right," Klaus nodded. "Thank you for making that abundantly clear." He tried to keep his tone normal, but Amy heard his voice break a little.

"Klaus," she said, reaching out for him. "I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be."

"I get it!" Klaus said through his teeth. "Stop talking and leave me alone. Go find the damn witch boy you want so you can live happily ever after. I don't need you! I don't need you at all!"

He stomped off and Amy said, "Klaus?"

He paused without turning. "What?" He snapped.

"Don't forget we have to bring your car to the shop tomorrow. When would you like to leave here to do that?"

Klaus took a deep breath and closed his eyes. She was really killing his exit. "Who cares? Let's just get it over with as soon as possible so you can get on with finding dates who aren't me."

"How considerate," Amy told him. "Eight-thirty in the morning all right?"

"Fine," Klaus told her. "Whatever."