Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…but would definitely love to own Gaara!!!! lol

A/N: Hello my loyal readers!!!!!! As promised here is the next chapter!! ENJOY! THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS AND REVIEWERS!!! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!!!!!

LOVE AND SECRETS

Chapter 11

"Did you kiss her again," Temari asked Shikamaru as he walked into her room that night.

"What?" he asked mustering as much surprise as he could. How could Temari possibly know that he had kissed Akira again?

"Oh don't put that 'I have no idea what you're talking about' face. You know damn well what I'm talking about," Temari said with her hands on her hips.

This is exactly why Shikamaru hadn't come over after the alley incident with Akira. He was pretty sure he had guilt written all over his face and he didn't want Temari to see it, so he had taken a walk. A walk that had lasted hours and by the time he got to the Subaku's place it was midnight and Temari was waiting at her door ready to chew him out.

"Now why would you think that," Shikamaru asked as he walked around her and sat down on the floor.

Temari was so mad. He was treating her like she was a dummy. She wanted to strangle him but instead she grabbed her brush and threw it at him. She hit it him straight in the chest.

"Owwww, what the hell was that for?" he complained, rubbing the spot where the brush as landed.

"For treating me like a dumbass," she said as she sat down the edge of her bed. She was a satisfied that he would get a bruise on that spot.

"I wasn't," he said still rubbing the spot.

"Yes you were. I asked you if you kissed her again and you act like I'm crazy. Here's how I know you kissed her again. Gaara was talking to Naruto this afternoon and all of a sudden he threw his glass against the damn wall. We didn't know what the fuck was wrong with him. Turns out he was completely locked out of Akira's mind again. He couldn't feel her anymore. That's only happened once," she paused looking at him and then looking way.

"In the teashop when she kissed you. She became a blank slate. So you tell me Shikamaru…did you kiss her again. Is that why my brother got locked out again?" Temari said the last part not bothering to look at his reaction. If he was going to lie, she rather him not do it to her face.

So that's why Gaara was so mad, he thought off topic. What the hell is so special about me? "Temari…"

"Don't even think about lying to me," she said angrily.

"I wasn't. I did…we did," he confessed hanging his head. He wasn't ashamed he kissed Akira; he was ashamed he hurt Temari.

"Why?" she asked trying to mask the hurt in her voice.

"I don't know," he sighed.

"Why?" she asked softly.

"Temari…"

"No…why…why would…you want to kiss her? And don't say I don't know cuz that's not an answer Shikamaru. Just tell me why," she said not even bothering to hide the pain his disloyalty had caused.

"Temari…"

"Why? Tell me why," she said the disappointment heavy in her voice.

"I don't know Temari. I was in love with her for 4 years—" he started off. Trying to think of an alternative explanation for what he and Akira did.

"And what you're not in love with me anymore?" she said cutting him off. She was really starting to get mad and was very close to kicking his ass out of her house.

"No! That's not it," he said a nervously. He stood up and walked over to her. He knew she was too upset to be touched so he stood in front of her until she looked him in the eyes.

"It's just there was something there the first time and I had to make sure it was nothing," he explained to her.

"Was it nothing?" she asked gauging his reaction.

"Yeah there was nothing," he lied. Of course there was something. But both friends had agreed to forget about it.

"So why did Gaara get cut off?" she asked stubbornly. It had to mean something if he got cut off, she thought to herself.

"I don't know! I don't know about their connection. I just needed to make sure there was nothing in that second kiss. It was stupid…." he said sincerely. Because it WAS stupid…he still didn't know why he did it.

"You needed to make sure you loved me?" she questioned titling her head to the side.

"No, I needed to make sure I didn't love her. I never had doubts about loving you. It's complicated with Akira and we had to make sure we were just friends." Half of that statement was true and the other half was a lie. He didn't know why he was lying but he knew Temari didn't need to know that both friends had felt a lot more then something in the second kiss.

"And?"

"We're just friends," he said trying to look as honest as possible.

"No feelings for each other?" she urged.

"No feelings," he lied skillfully. He had his fingers crossed that she would believe him because that would prevent lots of heartache.

Lucky for Shikamaru Temari bought his lies. She really believed him…he had never lied to her before and she was sure he would never start. She stood up and took his hand, "I want you to remember the next time you wanna think about lying to me I will strangle you!"

He was pretty sure she wasn't playing judging the smile on her face. "Consider that remembered," he said quietly.

"Good," she said walking out the room. "Now we need to talk to my very angry brother."

"What?"

"Let's go talk to Gaara," she said as if he were slow.

"Why? If you didn't kill me he will. Maybe we shouldn't say anything to him," he suggested hoping she would say yes. He did not want to talk to Gaara.

Temari looked at him and considered what her boyfriend had just said. He was right Gaara would probably hurt him; so maybe not such a good idea. "Fine," she said sitting down on the floor. "Just swear to me there was nothing and it won't happen again."

"It was nothing," he lied once again. "And it won't happen again," he said hoping it was true. Now all he had to do was forget. Great! I wish Akira had taught me how to do that, he thought as he sat next to Temari.


"YOU WHAT!!!!" Ayame said screaming at the top of her lungs. She had a shoe in her hand and threw it in Neji's direction.

He dodged the shoe. "You said be honest," he yelled back as he put distance between himself and his extremely pissed off girlfriend.

"Not if you enjoyed it you asshole," she said still shouting. There was no one home because Ayame's mom had decided to give Ayame some space with her new boyfriend. Right now all she wanted to do to that so called boyfriend was strangle him.

"You said to be honest! How was I suppose to know you wanted me to lie! Can you PLEASE calm down," he yelled back. He was gaining the distance but he knew Ayame was fast so he wasn't taking any chances as he kept walking backwards.

"OH MY GOD NEJI! Calm down! You chose now! Now at 2 o'clock in the fucking morning to tell me you felt something when you kissed Akira and you want me to calm down?! Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Oooookay, I can see your upset maybe I should come back in the morning," he suggested moronically.

"Oh no you don't!" Ayame said slamming him against the wall in seconds. "You don't go anywhere until you explain your feelings!" She shrieked. She had him pinned to the wall.

He was very tempted to use his Gentle Fist to take her out but he knew she was mad and probably had every right to be. "Nothing I felt nothing," he lied trying to dig himself out of the hole he had created for himself. I should have just lied in the first place, he thought angry at himself.

"That's not what you said," her voice returning to normal levels. "You said and I quote 'Well she can kiss really well and for some reason I felt myself wanting more'. That doesn't not sound like nothing you ass," she said releasing him from the wall.

"Do you like her Neji?" she asked quietly.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath. "Ayame…she's a damn good kisser but that doesn't mean I feel anything for her other then friendship. I love you…and I really didn't think you wanted me to lie to you," he said softly.

"She's been better at everything and for once I just want to I wanted to hear 'No Ayame your better'…at least from you," she said looking at him.

"But you are better," he said honestly. "I said she was great Ayame but I never said she was better," he said walking towards her.

"Stop trying to please me," she said backing away from him.

"I'm not. If I wanted to do that I would have lied in the first place. I never said she was better. I'm in love with you…you'll always be better," he said realizing for the first time since he had kissed Akira it was the complete truth. Even though he had enjoyed the kiss it really meant nothing. It really was just a physical connection…just like the bullshit excuse she gave for kissing every single one of those guys.

"I'm not lying," he said taking her in his string arms. She struggled a little but gave up pretty quickly.

"I'm still mad at you," she said under her breath.

"I know," he said into her hair. "But you know this could be considered your fault. Seeing as you're the one who dared her to do it."

That was not a smart move for Neji. She sucker punched him and walked away. It was going to be one of those nights, he thought miserably. There I go opening my mouth when I should have just kept it shut.

But it really was Ayame's fault for agreeing with Akira when she said she'd kiss Neji first and that was the real reason she was mad. She had agreed to it and he liked and now she had to deal with the consequences. Damn it and I thought this Bet wouldn't have any consequences, she thought as she threw a pillow in Neji's direction and told him to sleep on the couch.


Akira had been sleeping when she heard someone come into her room. At first she thought it was Hiro so she feigned sleep because she did not feel like talking to him. He was really trying hard to get her to open up and that was the last thing she wanted with Hiro. But as the steps got closer steps got closer…she knew exactly was in her room. Gaara….and she could hear everything that was running thru his mind. She thought he was just going watch her sleep and she was fine with that because she would still be able to hear him…and that was all she wanted. But then his fingers brushed against her cheeks and she felt his familiar electric touch and before she could stop herself he had grabbed his wrist.

Gaara froze. Shit! I really shouldn't have done that, he thought as he watched her open her eyes halfway. Once she confirmed it was actually him he watched her close them with a smirk; he knew that smirk…

"Can you hear my thoughts?" he asked a little annoyed. He watched her smirk become wider. "Not fucking fair," he said with realization.

"I learned how to keep you from entering my mind. I never thought it was necessary to learn how to keep out of your mind," she said softly. She never opened her eyes or released her grip on his wrist.

"Not fucking fair," he said again.

"Never said it was fair," she whispered.

"You kissed Shikamaru again." It was a statement. He watched as she smiled.

"What makes you think that?" she asked quietly.

"I have my reasons," he growled.

"What makes you think I didn't kiss Lee again?" she asked testing his temper. She felt a new wave of irritation from him as he remembered what happened that afternoon.

"Did you?"

"You're jealous," she observed.

"Damn fucking right," he said infuriated.

"Gaara…"

He watched as she concentrated on her breathing. "What are you doing here?" she asked more to herself than to him.

"Come on Ai, a couple of months you would have asked me what took me so long," he said knowing he got her as her sweet laugh filled the dark room.

"Good one Gaara," she whispered. "Good one."

"You're in a good mood," he observed.

She smiled but kept her eyes closed. "Why wouldn't I be…you're here," she said gently.

"Its 3:15 in the morning…you should be grumpy," he told her as he freed his wrist and intertwined their fingers. She didn't stop him, as soon as their hands were together she squeezed it as if to make sure he was really there.

"But I'm not…"

"Why?" he asked.

She was silent for a minute, out of nowhere she moved over and made room for Gaara in the bed. He should have thought about what he was going to do next. But instead of thinking he just acted and he slipped into bed with her.

She pressed her body against his hugging him but still refusing to open her eyes. She breathed him in, not wanting to release her grip. She gently laid her head on his chest and heard his heart beat. God did she miss him…God did she want to look into his pale green eyes but she couldn't. She felt his strong arms wrap themselves around her; felt him breathe in her hair. None of what they were doing was a very a good idea but neither cared at the moment. Five minutes passed in complete silence while Gaara ran his fingers thru Akira's hair and she listened to his even breathing.

Akira wanted nothing more than to stay like that forever. She missed sitting in silence with him, missed lying in bed with him. She missed…him and while she laid there with her head on his chest, she felt the hole in her heart get just a little bigger because she wanted nothing more than to be with him and she couldn't. Everything she had ever been taught was screaming to tell him to leave, screaming that they didn't belong together and that injustice was making everything hurt just a little more.

Gaara would have stayed the entire night in silence if that meant he'd spend it with Akira but he wanted to know something. So he was the first to break the silence. "Why won't you open your eyes?" He felt her sigh.

"Damn it Gaara…what are you doing here," she said almost inaudibly squeezing him a little tighter.

"I'll tell you if you tell me why you won't open your eyes," he whispered as he placed his lips on her forehead.

"You first."

"You cut me off. I couldn't feel you anymore and I wanted to know why," he confessed quietly.

"Your turn," he said as he placed his hand under her chin bringing their faces together.

She could practically feel his lips. Their faces were millimeters away from each other. She sighed and placed her forehead against his but kept her eyes closed.

"I don't want to open them…because if I do…then you're really here. If I keep them closed…then when I wake up in the morning…alone…it'll be easier to convince myself this was all a dream; which is easier to handle then accepting that your actually being here." Her voice was heartbreaking…like she knew she was in for some heartache in the morning either way.

Gaara watched her but she didn't open her eyes. He didn't want her to feel that way. He didn't want to hear that absolute helplessness in her voice. She was never helpless, never lost; she was always so sure of every decision she made.

He leaned in a little but that's all it took for their lips to touch. "But I am here," he whispered.

His lips brushed against hers and even though her eyes were closed, she felt like everything was spinning. As always he turned her thoughts inside out, her world upside down. As always he made her feel wobbly and completely desired. She wasn't strong enough when he was this close to her and it didn't help that it was three something in the morning.

"Open your eyes Ai," he ordered. But she shut them even tighter. "I'll stay until the morning." That work.

Her eyes shot open. "That would not be a good idea," she whispered as her milky brown eyes locked with his jade ones. It was real. He was there and there was no denying that.

"Nothing about us ever is," he countered.

"We were good together Gaara. Fit together perfectly. That's what makes it hurt so much. That's why this is so difficult," she said, her voice serious. Her hand touched his cheek and she watched as his sea green eyes closed. He leaned into her touch without saying a word. She watched him breathe, the air from his lips drifting on her lips. She pulled her face away from his causing him to open his eyes and complain.

"Hey, I was enjoying that," he said frowning.

"I know you were," she said, a sad smile on her lips.

"Stop doing that," he told her sternly.

"Doing what?"

"Looking at me like it's the last time you'll see me," he replied.

She looked at him. Her hand was still on his cheek. She brushed her thumb across his frown. "You shouldn't do that," she said softly, keeping her thumb on his lips.

"Frown?" he asked his voice muffled by her thumb. She nodded, her ruby locks cascaded across her face.

"Then stop looking at me like that," he said, his fingers brushing her hair out of her face.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. She kept watching his face. Now that her eyes were open she couldn't help but keep them on him. "I forgot you had that scar," she said as her fingers traced the small crescent shaped scar on the bottom of his chin.

"I almost forgot how divine your touch could be. Almost forgot how good it was to hear your voice in the middle of the night," he whispered. "Which reminds me…where's your brother?"

"He's in his room," she answered smiling.

"You're smiling," he observed.

"You're here," she said simply.

"You're not worried about getting caught," he asked raising one nonexistent eyebrow.

"He already knows what happened between us. Plus I think half the world found out after the teashop kiss," she exhaled. She removed her hand from his face to scrub her face in frustration. That damn teashop was going to get them in trouble. Not that Gaara cared, she thought as she looked at him.

"They know I like you," he said as he took her hand back and placed it back his cheek.

"That's not good Gaara," she whispered as sternly as she could.

"I don't care," he said stubbornly.

"Hisui…"

"Don't. Don't tell me to let you go," he said closing his eyes and trying not to get angry.

"I wasn't going to," she said more to herself than to him.

"You were…that's the same voice and the same face you had on at the teashop," he said opening his eyes and taking her face in his hands. She closed her eyes and leaned onto his touch.

"You know me well," she confessed.

"Well don't even try cuz I don't want to hear it."

"I won't. I've decided that right now in this moment I'm done fighting between what I should be doing and what I want to do. Right now in this moment it's just you and me. I don't have the energy to care about anything else," she said pressing her body closer to his.

"Is that so," he said his hand moving to her hip. It slowly made its way to her thigh.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" she asked stopping his hand from moving any further.

"Nothing, making myself more comfortable," he answered smirking. He freed his hand and placing it in the hollow behind her knee.

She knew exactly what he was doing. "Ha…liar," she whispered in his ear as she rolled him on to his back and straddled his hips as she got on top of him. "I know what you're doing."

"Really?" he asked as he enjoyed the view. She was beautiful. Even in the dark she was absolutely stunning. Her ruby hair cascaded down her shoulders and her small smile made her face brighter. As he placed both hands on her hips he could really tell that she had lost a lot of weight when she locked herself in her room.

His slender fingers brushed past the skin above her pajama pants. She exhaled a little louder then she expected and heard him snicker. She stopped his hands before they reached the strings of her pants. "I know exactly what you want Hisui. It's something you haven't gotten in what…six months," she said grinning.

"Part of what I want," he said softly freeing his hands again. "Don't you want it too?"

"Did you really just ask," she laughed quietly. "You wouldn't have gotten this far if I didn't."

"You seem a lot happier," he whispered feeling her shiver as his fingers brushed the bare skin below her belly button.

"You're here," she said again as she leaned down, their faces inches from each other. "You know we shouldn't be doing this, right?"

"I know," he whispered.

"You don't care," she observed.

"Don't give a damn," he said placing his hands behind her head and gently moved her face closer to his so they could finally kiss.

It was sweet and soft. Not rough and desperate, like at the teashop. He tasted her lips and knew they were his and just like at the teashop he found he was in her mind again. He replayed everything that had happened after he left the teashop with Naruto. Let's just say he wasn't too happy.

Akira relieved those memories just as Gaara did and felt a new wave of anger as he saw what had happened with Shikamaru in the alley. She smiled as he broke their kiss. "Hey I was enjoying that," she said complaining. Her lips were still stinging from their kiss.

"You kissed him and enjoyed it," he accused. He was angry but not angry enough to leave. He was just too comfortable in the position he was in at the moment to yell at Akira for kissing his sister's boyfriend for a second time.

"You're jealous," she stated looking at him with a small smile on her face.

"With reason," he said roughly.

"You're jealously is not necessary," she said, the smile still on her face.

"It's not funny and I'm pretty it is," he complained. "How could—"

Her lips silenced his but her quiet voice filled her head.

Because I had to make sure you were the only one who turned me inside out, she confessed.

And? He asked anger still apparent in his voice.

You're the only one, she answered as she licked his bottom lip.

Are you sure? He questioned, doubt in his voice.

She stopped kissing him and looked at him. "Look at who's in my bed and you tell me," she said out loud.

"Good point," he said as he looked into her milky chocolate eyes. "I upset you," he observed as he looked at her pale face.

"You doubted me," she answered softly.

"You kissed Shikamaru…"

"And you kissed Sakura," she shot back.

"But I—"

"Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it because you did. Maybe not as much as I did with Shikamaru but you did and I didn't complain. I didn't say anything to you. So if you're going to bitch and moan—" she was cut off.

"Hey hey…can I just be your jealous boyfriend for five seconds. I thought I was the only who made you hot," he said cutting her off.

She smiled, glad he had confessed his jealously. "You aren't my boyfriend anymore," she said seeing a flash of anger in his eyes she added, "But you are the only one who makes me hot."

"Ai…"

"I'm sorry I kissed him…I had too…I had to make sure. But trust me when I say this...you are the only person I love. The only person I've ever wanted to be with. Got that?" she asked her fingers tracing his love scar.

"Got it," he said. "But you are just so frustrating you know that?" he asked as he rolled over and placing her on her back. Her legs were wrapped around his torso hugging him tight. She laughed as landed on her back. She wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him closely so her back wasn't touching the sheets.

"I know," she whispered in his ear. "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be…that's why I love you," he whispered back feeling her weight dragging him down.

She finally let go and plopped onto the mattress. She heard him mutter something under his breath and felt his hands on her thighs again. "Could you please not let go of me," he asked faking exasperation. "I would appreciate body contact at all times."

"No problem," she giggled as her legs wrapped themselves around torso again bringing him down on top of her. She slipped her hands underneath his shirt and traced his shoulder blades. He sighed and buried his face in the crook between her neck and her shoulder.

She felt his soft lips on her shoulders. He slid the string of her tank top off her shoulder blade and gently kissed the tip of her shoulder to her neck. He kissed up her neck until he reached the hollow behind her ear. He ran his tongue across the hollow heard her moan softly. He smiled satisfied with her reaction.

"Do you really think this is the smartest idea," she managed to ask quietly.

"Nope…but I don't care," he muttered his lips still behind her ear. The vibrations of his voice made, sent shivers down Akira's back. Gaara smiled pleased that he managed to break her reservations.

"Not fair," she complained at she rolled him over so she was on top.

"Hey I was having fun," he whispered as he rolled her over. He underestimated the space left on the bed because both of them hit the floor with a THUMP.

"Ouch," Akira muttered as she landed on top of Gaara. He was laughing silently, in fact he was laughing so hard his shoulders were shaking from the laughter.

"I'm glad you find this so hilarious," Akira mumbled. "Shit…Hiro definitely heard that. Did you lock the door?"

"Always," he whispered back, still quietly laughing. "I'm the one who should be complaining...you landed on me."

"Shut it," Akira snapped.

Both of them heard Hiro roll off the bed and hit the floor running. He slammed into Akira's door thinking it would open but found it was locked.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

"Akira!! Are you okay? Open the door!" Hiro yelled as he banged on the door.

"I'm fine! I just rolled out of bed and fell," Akira half lied. She punched Gaara in the arm when he snorted from trying to hold in his laughter.

"Are you sure? Why don't you just let me see," Hiro said still trying to bang open the door.

"Jesus Hiro! I'm not five! I said I'm fine! I fell off the bed! Chill and go back to sleep," Akira yelled back irritated. Still thinks of me as a kid.

"Akira..."

"I'm fine Hiro…trust me!"

"Okay…" he said uncertainly. She could hear him still at the door tiptoeing around.

She stayed on top of Gaara until she heard her brother shut the door to his room. Meanwhile Gaara had kept himself occupied by taking his shirt off.

When she heard Hiro's door shut, she exhaled. "That was not funny, you jerk," she said getting off him, she softly kicked his shoulder and got back into bed.

"I thought it was a little amusing," Gaara said climbing back into bed with her.

"I'm glad you did," she said turning her back on him.

He grabbed her from behind amidst her protests. Wrapped his arms around her slim waist and touched the bare skin above her belly button.

"You know your intoxicating," he whispered into her ear.

"You are too," Akira shot back quietly. "That's why we do stupid shit together. I don't think we should do what we were about to do," she said as she turned her body to face him.

"Hey…how about you go with your instincts instead of that big brain of yours," he suggested refusing to let Akira back out of the situation.

"Gaara…"

"Come Kioshi! Close your eyes," he urged and continued when she did as he asked. "Tell me what you need without thinking. Tell me what you want without overanalyzing." His breath tickled her nose.

He is intoxicating, she thought to herself. I should have kicked him out when I had the will power. She took a deep breath to clear her mind but that didn't help at all. She wanted him but she knew that when she woke up in the morning it was going to be rough. But should that matter? Wasn't that the price she had to pay for falling in love with the one person she wasn't suppose to fall in love with. She opened her eyes and whispered, "I want you…I'm always going to want you…always."

He looked at her, brought her face closer to her and said as quiet as he could, "Then right now…in this moment…fuck everything else," he said and before she could protest he put his lips on hers.

She pressed her body closer to his so they were touching in every way possible. His expert lips moved to her collar bone while his hands were working on taking off her pants. They hadn't been together in months and she could feel his desperation in his every touch and his every kiss. He wanted her and nothing else and truth be told after everything that happened that afternoon they only person Akira wanted was Gaara. So for the first time in a long time she gave into what she wanted disregarding everything else.


The morning sun shone thru Akira's thin curtains and stirred her out of her sleep. She refused to wake up and face reality. She refused to wake up and know she was alone. So if that meant that she was going to stay in bed all day hugging her pillow then so be it. That's what she would have done if she hadn't realized a couple of things that made her open her eyes.

The first one was that her legs were tangled not only with her bed sheets but with some else's legs. The second that her 'pillow' was breathing. The third was his voice.

"I forgot that the sun hits this room like it's a freakin' stadium," Gaara's sleepy voice filled the room.

Akira slowly opened her eyes just in case her ears were playing tricks on her but he was really there. Looking down at her, his unruly crimson locks a complete mess. He had his hand on the back of her neck touching her Ai tattoo.

"That's why I always went to your place," she managed to stay. After a couple of minutes in silence she managed to say what she was thinking. "You stayed."

"I told you I would," he said tracing her love tattoo with the tips of his fingers.

She hugged him tighter knowing that eventually she was going to have to let him go. They laid in silence for a couple of minutes but Gaara was the first to break it.

"You're going to leave," he said, no emotion in his voice.

The sound of his voice was breaking her heart. All she could do was nod.

"That's why you went to see the Hokage?" he said emotionlessly. "To ask her if you could leave."

"Yea…" she said her voice cracking. She knew him staying was too good to last.

"Why?" he asked still tracing the love scar he created on her.

"Because Gaara I need to be able to—"

"Get over me," he said cutting her off.

"No," she said looking at him. "No…getting over you…is impossible. But I do need to be able to think about you without…"

"It hurting," he finished off for her. He knew exactly what she meant because he felt the same way but he knew that solution was to be with her no matter the consequences. But he knew that she wasn't going to let that happen. And that is what was killing him. He knew it because he saw it, he felt it, he had heard it all last night.

He closed his jade eyes and sighed. "I know that there's nothing I can say to change your decision but I won't try to stop you, I won't make it any harder if you just tell me the real reason you don't want me to fight for you," he whispered to her. That was the only thing she had kept protected last night.

"Gaara…"

"Just tell me."

"Akira…" he urged after her silence.

"Because I wanted you to tell me," she confessed burying her face on his well-built chest. "I wanted you to tell me they didn't want me and you never did. Even after we broke up…you never said a word. I wanted to hear it from you and when I didn't I thought maybe just maybe you felt the same way…maybe that's why you didn't say anything."

"Ai—"

"I know you don't feel that way now," she said quietly. "But…"

"You still have to do this," he finished off.

"Yea..." she said her voice drifting off.

"But I love you," he said simply as sat up causing Akira to sit up with him.

"I know," she answered looking into his pale green eyes.

"And you love me," he stated stroking the side of her cheek.

"I know."

"And you leaving…you think will help us?" he asked trying to understand why it was so important for her to leave.

"I don't know," she confessed shifting her eyes to the alarm clock and that's when she saw what time it was…10:55AM. Damn.

"You need it," he realized. "You need to leave. It's not about wanting…you need it." He should have realized it sooner. It was part of her personality…her independence. It didn't mean she stopped loving him…she just had to do it to make sure she could…do it without him.

"Gaara—"

"I'm not going to stand in your way…." he said placing his lips on her cheek. "But I am asking you, I am begging you…come back," he murmured as he placed a soft kiss on each cheek.

Akira closed her eyes and nodded.

"Keep your eyes closed. I'll make this easier," he whispered. "If you can do it…I can do it. But don't forget I love you." There was a swish of air and he was gone. She opened her eyes and saw her window open, she could smell the fresh morning air but his aroma was still on her, still strong in her room. But she was alone and she knew that loneliness was going to kick her ass.

"Great," she said out loud. "That made it loads easier." She made her way to the shower and got dress.

Don't I feel awesome, she thought sarcastically as she slipped into a faded pair of linen pants. Just awesome.

She walked down the stairs hoping distance from her room would help the aching that was starting in her heart. She knew she should have kicked Gaara out before did something stupid but she didn't and they did. And now his smell was all over her and his touch still under her skin but she was alone…all alone.

She walked into the living room and saw her brother reading the paper on the sofa. He looked up at her worry lining his eyes.

"Up late?" Hiro asked.

"Sorta," Akira answered as she sat next to her brother.

"The Hokage wants to see you," Hiro said still looking at his sister.

"What?" she asked looked up at her brother. "Why?"

"I don't know. The messenger didn't tell me," Hiro answered.

"Great," Akira muttered as she picked herself up from the sofa.

"Akira…"

"Yea," she answered looking back at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked standing up from the sofa.

"Nothing," she answered, her skin was on fire from Gaara's touch and the shower did not help at all. She wanted to go to his house and let him know that she would stay if he asked her. She did not want to deal with her brother.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…rough morning is all. Didn't want to get out of bed this morning." She rubbed her wrists where she could still fill Gaara's lips. She turned around and began to walk away.

"Why won't you talk to me," Hiro asked quietly.

Akira didn't know where all this was coming but she was not in the mood to deal with her brother. "I'm just not in the talking mood."

"Your never in the mood," he countered.

"What the hell do you want Hiro?" Akira asked irritated. She really needed to get out of this house maybe then would Gaara's scent fade.

"Some participation. I'm sitting here trying to be your brother and you're giving me nothing!" He said swinging his hands in the air.

Akira was tired but if Hiro wanted to fight then so be it, it was his funeral. "That is the problem. You…you trying to be my brother," she told him. She turned around to see the shock in his eyes.

She started talking before she lost her nerve. "I don't need a brother now Hiro. I haven't needed a brother in a long time. I needed one when I was six…that's when I needed you."

"I remember you were always there for me. Talking to me whenever mom and dad were fighting. I remember when you tried to tell me stories so that I would block out the yelling. The louder they got the more intricate your stories got. You were the best, I depended on you because I felt safe with you and then one day you were gone. Not good bye I'll see you later gone. It was more like you never existed gone. One day I came home from school and you weren't there. Nothing that belonged to you was there…all your clothes, books, shoes, pictures…all of it gone. You never came back to tell me why you left…why you left me there…alone." Akira finished as a couple of tears escaped her eyes. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her wrist. She refused to cry over this. She was over needing her brother…she was over his abandonment. Or at least she thought she was.

"I thought you'd be okay with mom," he said his voice cracking. He had no idea Akira was still upset about his departure. There was so much resentment in her voice…so much anger. She must have been keeping it to herself for years, he thought to himself as he watched her face turn emotionless. She's always been good at making sure everyone around her is okay but I've never bothered to see if she was okay.

"If you had left me with just mom then yea we would have been okay. But you left us with dad. You knew how he was and you left us with him. You left me to deal with all of it alone. So don't stand here and ask me why I don't talk to you. Don't stand here and ask me what's the matter. There are a lot of things the matter, none of which you are equipped to handle," she finished her voice still full of anger.

Hiro was thrown back by what Akira said. He had no idea that leaving his sister would have bothered her so much. He thought he was doing her good. He thought she didn't need him anymore. He sure that his leaving would have given his mother the courage to leave too. He told his mother, begged her to come with him but she had said no. She must have never told Akira.

"What would you have wanted me to do Akira? What? I am here now and you want nothing to do with me. What do you want from me?" he asked his voice rising slightly.

"You could have taken me with you. After mom said no she wouldn't leave…you could've taken me with you. But you left without a word. And I had to deal with dad. And you see how well that turned out. Dad killed mom. I killed dad…I became an orphan and you came to pick up the broken pieces. I've got news for you Hiro, some of the pieces are so small you'll never be able to find them. And now it's even worse. You know the one person who could help is the one person I'm suppose to stay away from. You can't fix me Hiro. I'm defective…thus the killing if dad. That's where the feeling of always being alone comes from. That's why I fell in love with Gaara cuz I'm fucking defective. It's like I have a fascination with everything that causes me pain. So stop trying to help…I don't need it," she said coldly.

"Akira…" He didn't know what to say to her. She was hurt for so many reasons he couldn't begin to figure out how to fix it. He could see her compartmentalizing her pain so that she could deal with it later. Something happen that had her itching her skin and wanting to forget.

"I can't do this now Hiro…I've got to see the Hokage," she said running up the stairs. What she needed was another shower to scrub Gaara's scent off her skin. What she needed was something to scrub her memory of the kisses and touches and caresses and feelings….


It was a quiet morning in the Subaku home. Kankuro was downstairs eating breakfast. He was waiting for his siblings to make their way to their way to the kitchen. As he was sitting he looked at his eggs and wondered if there was something he could do that would bring his brother and Akira back together. His thoughts were interrupted when his sister walked into the kitchen.

"Do you know where Gaara is?" She asked as she sat down next to him taking his fork and eating some of his eggs.

"Sleeping?" Kankuro suggested as he watched Shikamaru serve himself a glass of milk. He's spent the night here, Kankuro thought to himself.

"Nope…we checked. He's not in his room," Shikamaru said a little solemnly.

"I didn't hear him leave this morning," Kankuro said thinking it was weird that Gaara wasn't in bed. He wasn't a morning person and enjoyed sleeping in.

"So where the hell is he," Temari asked.

"I don't know," Kankuro said. "I've been waiting for him to come downstairs. The Council sent a messenger…turns out they want to see him at the end of the week."

"Uh-oh," Temari said. "You think they already heard about yesterday's kissing episode?"

"I don't know…but I hope Gaara sets them straight," Kankuro said gravely.

"I think he's with Akira," Shikamaru said quietly.

"Why do you think that?" Kankuro said.

"Cuz he's hasn't been that close to Akira in a long time…I'm pretty sure the separation was driving him crazy. Plus it's what I would do," he said looking at Temari's and then hastily adding, "If it were you."

"I don't think he's in the talking mood," Temari said eyeing Shikamaru. She was still a little upset with him but it was fading. "After his blow out yesterday I'm pretty sure he's locked up somewhere where he doesn't have to talk to us."

"Now why would you say that?" Gaara voice drifted into the kitchen before anyone saw him.

He walked in with dress all in black, his burgundy hair was a mess and it looked like he might have gotten about 2 or 3 hours of sleep. So you weren't in your room, Temari thought as saw watched her brother go to the fridge to get something to drink. There was something different about him…she just couldn't put her finger on it.

"Cuz you were a little upset yesterday," Temari said off-handedly.

"I was, wasn't I?" Gaara watched as Kankuro and Temari nodded their heads.

"Couldn't sleep. Took a walk," Gaara lied as he took a sip of water. He watched to see if they believed him. They didn't but it didn't look like they'd try to pry the truth out of him. He really didn't want to talk about it. But looking at Shikamaru made everything that happened last night between him and Akira leave his mind. He felt himself get angry. He took a deep breath and smell strawberries…Akira. He could smell her, that's when he felt the anger leave him.

"A walk?" Temari questioned. "In the middle of the night until now?" She said with both eyebrows raised.

"Yea…" Gaara answered subtly bringing his wrist across his nose so he could catch Akira's scent.

"Oooooooookaaaayyy," Temari said still skeptical. Maybe Shikamaru is right.

Kankuro eyed his sister. He wished she would just shut up. He cleared his throat and said, "A messenger came and said the Council wanted to see you on Friday."

Gaara groaned. "Where's the scroll?"

"Upstairs," Kankuro said getting out of his chair. "I'll go get it."

"Sooo what are you going to tell them?" Temari asked as she ate the rest of Kankuro's breakfast.

But before Gaara could answer there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," she said getting up and Shikamaru stood up to follow her but Temari was already out of the kitchen.

That's when Gaara took his chance. In an instant he slammed Shikamaru against the wall. He was so jealous about the connection Shikamaru and Akira shared he was ready to literally crush the Leaf nin in front of him.

"Here's the deal…I find out you kiss Akira again, then me and you are going to have a problem. Got it?" Gaara growled.

Shikamaru nodded. He knew Gaara wasn't playing and his current reaction confirmed he had gone to see Akira.

"Good. And just for the record this isn't just jealously. 85% of it maybe jealousy. But it's also because you're dating my sister. Don't play with me Shikamaru…I will hurt you, that's a promise." Gaara hissed menacingly.

"I got it. It was a mistake," Shikamaru said. It was a mistake. He had to remember what Akira told him…forget. That should be easy…I should have gone home when I had the chance.

Both of them heard footsteps coming toward the kitchen and Temari walked in.

Gaara had let go of Shikamaru and stepped away from him.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"Nothing," both of them said.

She looked at them suspiciously. "Whatever," she said shrugging her shoulders. "Shikamaru the Hokage want to see you."

"Okay," Shikamaru said as he backed out of the kitchen. With a last glance at Gaara, he couldn't help but think…if looks could kill…

A/N: So this chapter was fun to write and kinda of sad! I really do enjoy writing Akira and Gaara moments!! I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think!! Hopefully the next chapter is out in two weeks!! (If my boss doesn't kill me with my workload:))

Just wanted to take a moment to thanks those who reviewed the last chapter!! Thanks to: Animestar001, .Tinkerbell,

ANBU are Sexy, A Slave to Words, Michele, Live-by-words, and Akizu Miko