A/N: Sorry it took so long. Here's some Spock and Amanda goodness.
Spock – 21yrs(Nyota – 16 yrs(Vorik – 19 yrs/T'Lana – 18 yrs)
(Memory – Last Night)
At the revelation of her leaving I wanted to grab her and ask…no…demand that she explain her reason for wanting to leave.
I could not believe what I had just heard.
As soon as Nyota announced she was leaving to attend in a University on Terra my hold on her hand dropped and I walked out of the room. I heard her call for me but I didn't stop. When I finally did stop it was on the fields that Nyota often goes to when she is in need of thinking, it was her favorite place.
"Spock wait!" She yelled after me.
"Why?" I asked disbelief clear in my voice. I felt a sharp pain on my hip I realized that it wasn't physical. It was emotional. The news of her leaving had caused my heart to hurt in a way I do not understand.
"Why, can't you stay and attend the VSA?" I asked now clearly disappointed in her decision to leave.
"Because I'm tired. I'm tired people looking at me like I'm nothing but a whore, like I'm inferior, nothing but a human that is destroying the reputation of one of Vulcan's youngest ambassadors. I want to do something for myself for once and not for anyone else." She said. I knew she was right we have been treated unfairly and every time I fought my father reprimanded me and scolded me for my emotional behavior. I had no control over my thoughts…or words and felt myself say something I would deeply regret saying.
"This means that I am nothing to you. Years of being with the Vulcan hybrid have taken their toll on you, is that it?" I said I always knew Nyota would accept me no matter what but somehow my mouth got a mind of its own and spoke words of which I knew would hurt her.
"Spock, its not you. You are important to me. You, your parents, Vorik, T'Lana, and even your grandmother! All of you are important to me and that will never change. I don't care if you're a full blooded Vulcan or not you are my friend and I love you very much please brother don't turn yourself around from me when I need you the most." Nyota pleaded.
I never thought I would see the day that I would hurt Nyota so much…apparently today is that day. I saw her face and for the first time I saw the raw hurt of me turning away form her when she needs support and she is right. Mother, father, Vorik, T'Lana and even my grandmother…we are her support, her family. To witness that one person of her family is turning away from her, who I might add is one of the people that knows her best.
Me.
I have always loved Nyota. Like a sister but my mouth kept saying the things that make me sound hurt and hurt her in the process.
"Brother!" I said.
"You love me like a brother!" I said again my own voice betraying the unnamable emotion.
"Yes, why?" She asked now confused. Then realization dawned on her features. She is probably thinking that I would want her as my mate. In another universe maybe yes. But her now she is to be the wife of someone else.
"I wanted to marry you," we said in synchronization. I have always disliked when logic spoke for me. We love each other like brother and sister.
"Yes," my voice simply said.
"We have lived together almost all of our lives Spock. I see you more as my big brother, someone I look up to when something is wrong or when I need comfort. Please try and understand that." She pleaded again.
I understood this but somehow part of my mind did not want that.
"I do not believe I will ever understand why you have chosen to leave, but I do understand your love for me. Please know that I do not approve of your decision to leave nor will I support it." I said his voice in monotone. I said and this time it was me. I truly did not understand why she had to go.
If she were to be accepted to the VSA they will accept her because she is a woman that has the intelligence that scored higher than that of my father's(I scored higher than my father and Nyota but she scored fairly close and that should be enough).
Do you really want to know what my prediction of my acceptance to the VSA will be like Spock?" She asked voice thick with tears.
I nodded expecting the answer I had in mind.
"It will begin with the prime minister summarizing my accomplishments and then he will most likely say 'you have reached a higher potential despite your human emotions and highly illogical behavior.' I may be human but I am capable of fulfilling my education and accomplish the education that is taught here. I have been fighting ever since I arrived on this planet. I know you have too, and the prime minister will say the same thing to you the only difference being that he will say 'despite you disadvantage, your human mother,' and don't you DARE say I'm wrong because that time will come and you know it." She had said tears starting to fall from her eyes.
It will not," I said. Something seemed to loose brightness in her eyes because when she looked up to me they seemed empty, hollow, like nothing had been there during dinner.
"I guess you really are giving up on me," she said, pain clear as glass in her voice.
"I…Nyota…I," I began to say but Nyota cut me off.
"Its ok I understand. And if I come back I hope you think better of me." She said. Another tear running down her face. She looked at me one last time smiled weakly and left.
I called after her to stop but she just kept running to the house.
I stayed and walked a little more to let what Nyota had told me to sink in.
She was right. She always was.
Times like those were the times that I was made the fool at my own expense.
"Spock," I heard my mother's soft voice behind me.
"Yes," I answered knowing what she wanted to talk to me about.
"She was telling you the truth, you know," she said matter – of – fact.
"I know, my mind was talking for me and it FEELS like I have hurt her and myself for what I have said. I know I have hurt her." I said knowing that my words were being spoken with hurt tied to them.
I turned to see my mother looking at me with both sympathy and sadness.
"Oh, my dear son you are you are such a gifted man and sometimes we all make mistakes. Take your father for example. The Vulcan Council had called him back to Vulcan. They nearly forced him to marry another woman. His goodbye to me hurt more than anything and I honestly think I would not have been able to live another day without him."
Mother and father hardly ever spoke of their hardship before their wedding this was a first that mother had reveled such things to me.
I nodded and we walked back to the house. Father was in the doorway…waiting.
I nodded towards him. I noticed Vorik carry Nyota to her rooms…asleep. That should have been me carrying her in.
Father followed my gaze and nodded in understanding.
"Come my son we must talk," he said. I looked at mother and she nodded with a small smile.
Father and I walked into the kitchen and sat down on the table. I waited for him to give me one of his emotional control lectures.
"I understand what you are going through my son I sure your mother told you want transpired between us when the council called me back here." He asked with a rare soft and understanding tone.
I nodded.
"But your relationship with Nyota is different. You are like brother and sister."
He said with understanding in his voice.
I explained what had happened between Nyota and myself a few moments ago.
The advise he gave me was to talk to her. I understood her reason for leaving now. She wanted to attend Starfleet. That was quite the accomplishment, one that she will most likely succeed.
I spent the night sitting by her door waiting for her to come out. I did not see Vorik come out.
Morning was here finally and I knocked on the door of her room I knew that Vorik was and my 'sister' had a relationship and I just want her to be happy.
I was allowed in and apologized for my mistake. Our sibling relationship was untarnished.
Thank fully.
A/N: Well you asked and I have complied.
Reviews=Love
Anyone with suggestions is welcome. Anyone want to be my Beta please shout.
