Disclaimer: I don't own Kung Fu Panda or the characters from movie canon. Characters not recognized from the movie belong to me.

Bit of a warning: This chapter has angst; then again, I seem to like writing angst, and this fic hasn't met my usual angst quota. Oh well, that's the way it goes. Read and review please! Reviewer responses are in the blog!


Chapter 9: Sonam's Son


Tai Lung let out the relieved sigh just as Dalang and Wu had done after Shifu had left. The leopard knew he was in deep trouble if he was discovered, and, always in the interest of self-preservation, he would need to be more careful in order to avoid the chopping block.

Only a few minutes prior, Mei Xing had grabbed Su Lin and dragged her into Tai Lung's room, locking the door. The female leopard warned everyone in a hissed whisper who their special guest was, and Aunt Wu jumped up to avert a crisis. She left the females with the male, and an awkward silence. Mei Xing avoided Tai Lung's gaze, sitting as far away from him as possible. Su Lin, ever unflappable, just grinned and shoved fabric pieces into his hands.

"Let me know which ones you like!"

Bemused, he handed them back, saying, "No light colors."

"Not even white?"

"White's fine."

"No pastels?"

Mei Xing spoke for him, "Su, men don't wear pastels, it's a threat to their masculinity, like flowers, expressing emotions, and washing dishes."

He scowled; it seemed the events of the previous night had not dulled her wit at all. She was still willing to embarrass him any chance she got. They locked eyes for a second and she smirked. "We could find you some purple; it might help you find the right guy…"

He opened his mouth to say something, but recalled her reaction to his entrance last night. The terrified paranoia and burgeoning tears in her eyes chilled him, and as he thought about it, it chilled him even more, wondering how bad her husband had been. Adding to her pain and misery would have made him feel worse than he already did.

But something still bothered him: if Mei Xing had been so abused, how did she have such a biting wit, and why did she always speak her mind? Shouldn't she have been afraid to do anything except sit and be silent?

He looked back at her, and saw he was right. She was afraid, she was just too proud to admit it.

Dalang poked his head into the room and whispered an update. Su Lin got up to leave, hoping to use her shopping trip as an excuse to get Shifu to leave sooner. Panda and tiger left the two leopards alone.

They fell into silence, neither of them wanting to say anything to the other. Mei Xing stared at the hands in her lap, while Tai Lung studied the wood grain in the wall, arms crossed over his chest.

"Why didn't you fight it?" he asked finally.

"What?"

"The marriage. Why didn't you fight it?"

She shook her head, "I was a worthless branch in my family tree, and no one cared about my opinion. I was seventeen, too, a young, immature girl; who cared what I thought?"

"Didn't you think of running away sooner?"

"I thought if I gave him what he wanted—like my mother told me to do—that he would change."

"The old woman said you never had children."

Mei Xing's face blanched. "That's not true." She bit her lip, fighting tears. "A stillborn daughter. She was the first, and the last to carry to term. Every time I got pregnant after that, he became convinced that I would only give him girls, and never a son."

"But a man needs sons to carry on his name," Tai Lung said; it made perfect sense to him. She surprised him when she snapped, "And what are girls?! If boys are all that matters, then why are there women at all?! I know why: so that men like you have someone to kick around and whip whenever you're angry!"

He growled. "Don't you dare…"

"It's a good thing you're forty and unmarried, because I bet that poor girl would be a bloodied mess at the end of the day."

"Shut up," he snarled.

She stood abruptly, pointing a finger at him. "Why? Why do you want me to shut up? Because it's true? Because you know that deep down, every man is just like HIM? Just like YOU?"

"Don't you dare associate me with him!" he roared, standing. "Shifu did not raise me to do that!"

"How would you know?" she yelled. "This is the first time you've ever dealt with a woman!"

He didn't have anything to fire back to that statement, so he backtracked. "I am not your husband," he growled. "I would never…"

"That's what he said. He said 'I'd never hurt you.' Ha!" she laughed derisively. "Did you see the scars? Did you see the scars up and down my arms? Do you wonder why I cover every part of my body?" She pulled up her pant legs and sleeves, and he involuntarily hissed at the severity of the scars. They looked like cuts, slashes, burns and bruises that never quite went away.

"He did this to me. So I got back at him…I always did. He wanted a son so bad; I made sure he never got one."

He stared at her, then when he realized what she meant, he was horrified. "You…"

She pressed a hand to her stomach. "No, I didn't do that; I took herbs. When you've been beaten and kicked around for ten years by someone who is supposed to protect you…you don't give a damn anymore. I was doing everything I could to get him to throw me out. Instead, he kept me as a slave while he courted concubines."

"I am not your husband," he repeated, not liking the accusing glare she was sending him.

"He and my father were the only men I have ever known. How would I know the difference?" With that parting shot, she stalked out of his room, slamming the door behind her.

Aunt Wu entered his room a moment later, shaking her head as she walked over to him.

"How much did you hear?" he asked.

"Everything."

"Is that why she hates me?"

"That you look and act like her husband did? Or that you are a snow leopard who could kill her if he wanted to? It wouldn't surprise me. But that's not why I'm here…"

She sighed as she handed Tai Lung a bowl of congee and a spoon. She sat on the mattress next to him, and looked down at her hands in her lap. He didn't start eating until she began.

"I will start by saying that I am disappointed in you. I thought I could trust you not to leave," she said quietly.

"Trust? Trust!" he said, slamming the bowl down. For some reason, this was the last straw, the last insult he would ever take from her. All the frustration of the past year, and the anger thoughts of revenge from the past twenty years, all boiled up and spilled over, and now there was no going back.

"Have you looked at yourself?!" he demanded. "I have no reason to trust you, to trust any of you! You've lied to me since day one!"

"I withheld truths that you were not ready to hear," she said sternly, looking up at him, "That is entirely different."

"The hell it is!" he seethed, standing abruptly. "I demand answers!" He was panting now, holding back on letting go of the reins of his temper, his white-knuckled fists curled around the proverbial reins to the restless soul.

"Tai Lung," she said, her voice soft, "I cannot give you the answers you want…only the ones you need."

"Don't you dare deny me!"

"You think you're entitled, do you?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest and narrowing her green eyes at him.

"I have every right to know what you know," he said through gritted teeth.

To his surprise, her voice softened: "What do you want to know?"

He paused, thinking about what had just happened. After a year of dodging questions and feigning answers, she was allowing him to ask what he wanted.

"Everything," he said. "I want to know from you, why I'm here. I want to know why you're helping me, keeping me here, keeping me from training, and what you're hiding, what you all are hiding!"

"You know about Mei Xing."

"Her story is legitimate. I know nothing about you, Su Lin, or Dalang, except that he killed someone!"

Wu froze, her face blanching. "He…he told you this?"

"Was he not supposed to?"

"N-no, he could have told you what he wanted about himself…but why he chose that, I don't know…" She took a deep meditative breath, closing her eyes with a sigh. When she finally spoke, after taking it into consideration, she looked up at him. "Very well, I'll tell you everything. And I mean everything; you won't like everything you hear, but I can and will give you the answers you seek. I'll start at the very beginning."

He sat back down, only after her gentle urging. She flipped open her folding fan, and he saw a painted-on landscape of verdant mountains and white lotus blossoms. The same design, in fact, that Shifu had seen and identified immediately. Lotus…Mountains…Mountain Lotus.

His mind ground to a screeching halt and he stared at her, completely dumbfounded. He'd read about her in one of the 1000 scrolls of kung fu, she, the only woman to have a style of kung fu in her name! The only woman to have developed an art form from another art form; a woman who was most remembered for uttering the words "What is kung fu but a dance between warriors?"

He was staring at the famous Wu Lien, the Mountain Lotus.

Wu smiled at him, "Figured it out now?"

"How…"

"It wasn't easy, hiding it from you. My fan would have given me away in no time, if my mannerisms didn't do it sooner. Hiding it from Shifu wasn't easy either, I'm sure he's heard of me."

"But…what are you doing here? You had your own temple, your own palace school to train, didn't you?"

She looked away sorrowfully, lightly fanning herself, "That was before the Jiao."

"The what?"

"Not what, who. The Jiao clan, they came from the north, Manchuria, and descended upon my home, about…well, almost forty years ago, actually. They're a ruthless band of cutthroats, calling themselves an 'army' when all they really are is a ragtag bunch of thugs." She sighed. "But that's not where the story begins. My story is entwined with your story more than you know. See this fan?" she handed it to him, and he took the delicate cloth and wood structure into his large hands.

It was deceptively strong, he saw, and the hand-painted design on primed silk was clearly done by a skilled, graceful hand.

"That fan was made and painted by one of my students. Her name was Nima, and she was a snow leopard, from Nepal. Her parents sent her to me to learn dance—little did they know I was teaching her kung fu in Sichuan! She was a vision, a perfect dancer, so full of grace and gentility. But what a temper on her!" she smiled in remembrance, but quickly got back to her story before she got carried away. "She was one of the best students I ever trained. Her fan form was magnificent, graceful, her fans so hypnotic that any opponent who stood up against her would be distracted by the display, leaving her ample time to defeat them."

"Why should I care about…" he started, until Wu pressed her fingertips on his lips to silence him.

"Let me finish: when she was about twenty-five, she had been…well, she was a late-blooming lotus. Late-bloomers, however, are usually the flowers whose beauty lasts the longest. Beautiful yet deadly, the village men each tried to woo her, especially one, another snow leopard. He was a warrior, and his name was Sonam."

Tai Lung watched her as she took her trip down memory lane, waiting for the big explanation for why she was talking circles around him. Then she looked up at him and delivered the striking blow: "I swear you look just like him."

Wait.

Wait.

No way. There was no possible way…

"Nima and Sonam were your parents," Wu said, offering a sad smile. "I knew who you were the minute I saw you in the mountains. You look just like your father did. When you opened your eyes for a short while…" she cupped his cheek with her tiny hands, and tears sprung into her eyes; she whispered, "You have your mother's eyes."

"What happened to them?" he whispered. Wu sat back, taking a deep breath. "Well, at first, she wanted nothing to do with him. Sonam had an issue with pride and arrogance"—here she shot him a look—"and it prevented him from gaining her attention. He bothered her so much she finally told him 'If you can defeat me in battle, I'll consider the possibility of marriage'. So, he agreed, thinking he could beat her."

"Did he?"

"Are you kidding?!" she laughed. "She handed him his tail every single time! But he kept coming back. They fought dozens of times, I lost count. At first, it was his pride—he refused to admit that he'd let a woman beat him. But eventually, your mother began to see he wasn't even trying anymore. They still battled, but he wasn't trying to best her. She confronted him about it, and he said 'Why should I try? You will always be better than me, and I'll never win.' 'So why do you keep coming back' she asked. 'Because it brings me closer to you', he said. On that day, I do think your mother started to love him. They were married a month later…and thirty minutes later, she was pregnant," she added with a knowing smirk.

"Did they want me?" he found himself asking, fighting back the lump in his throat.

Wu patted his hand. "I wish you could have seen how happy your mother and father were. The minute he found out he had a son, he let the whole village know! Your mother though…" tears brimmed in her eyes. "It…it was a rough winter. You were born just a month shy of the first snow, and we feared you wouldn't survive. Nima was the most fearful for your health; she agitated easily, and it made her prone to sickness. She overextended herself, to keep you safe. One day she came down with a fever, and a week later, she was gone."

That hit him hard, the lump in his throat building. His stomach felt like he had swallowed lead, and his body slackened. "And my father?"

"He was devastated. He could barely move on—I needed to come in and tell him that you had already lost a mother, and that he should not deny you a father either. It took him a while to learn how to be both mother and father to you, but once he got it, boy did it stick! He would carry you around the village on his back in a sling, you, the adorable little ball of fluff watching the snowflakes falling and trying to paw at them…" she smiled at the memory. "He brought you up to see me, your Auntie Wu…oh, and you were a lady killer, even at three months! I couldn't hold classes if Sonam was bringing you; all the girls cooing over you like they'd never seen a baby before…"

Tai Lung smirked; a lady killer at three months old, eh? He'd have to remember that.

His ego boost came crashing down when Wu became serious again. "Then the Jiao clan came to our valley. It took us completely by surprise. Many of my students were too young and inexperienced to fight, and they were all raped and slaughtered, one by one. Your father took on Jiao Zhouhimself, defending me, and you. He took us away, out of the valley, to a safer place. 'Go to the Valley of Peace,' I told him. 'Master Oogway is there, he will not turn you away. I will meet you there.' I never did. I learned later by word of mouth that the Jiao had found a snow leopard male in the Valley of Peace, coming up the mountain to the Jade Palace, alone, and they'd killed him. The new Jiao patriarch, Jiao Shen, they said, had claimed responsibility for the slaying."

The red panda looked up at him, watching his expression. He stared at the wall, blankly, his eyes glazed over. What she didn't know is that somewhere in his mind, he was recalling something, a lost memory…


Panting, heavy breathing, bare feet pounding on the ground, and strong muscular arms holding him close to a warm chest. He was tiny, wrapped in a warm blanket and bothered by the movement, but silent. As long as he was warm, and in Baba's arms, he was content.

Sonam ran as fast as his legs would carry him. The snow leopard raced through the forest, jumping over fallen trees, splashing through creeks, anything to throw the Jiao off his trail. Branches whipped at his face, but he didn't care. The Jade Palace loomed into view. He could still make it!

He took a running leap, jumping up a tree and scrambling along a branch that hung over the village walls. He jumped down, hit the ground running. Sonam raced through the empty streets, dodging into back alleys and over fences before taking his flight to the rooftops. The snow leopard stopped on the roof of a noodle restaurant, close to the adorned gate to the grand staircase to the Palace, and checked on his son.

The baby boy looked back up at his father, then his little round face broke into a smile. Sonam couldn't help but smile himself, tickling the baby's cheek with his finger. "There now, son, almost there…"

His ears flicked behind him, and he looked over his shoulder. To his horror, there was a trio of warriors garbed in black, coming right after him. Sonam snarled and dove for the gate, running up the stairs. When he sensed his pursuers were too close he dove into the underbrush to the side, scaling the steep hill.

The lights of the palace loomed into view. So close, he was so close.

Someone grabbed his ankle and pulled him down. Sonam whirled and slashed his claws over the masked assailant's face, making the other cry out and loosen his grip. The snow leopard looked around him, looking for anything he could use as a weapon. He hurled rocks, hitting his mark on the second assailant's head.

The baby was quiet throughout, though a little confused as to what his Baba was doing. Sonam bolted, clawing his way up the slope, dodging and zigzagging through the forest.

Before he knew it, he was at the top of the stairs. Breathless, he looked at the giant vermillion doors in front of him. He let out a relieved laugh; they were safe! He kissed his son's forehead, laughing ecstatically. "We did it, Tenzin," he said to his son. "We did it, we're safe…"

The he heard the twig snap behind him. Sonam ducked, tucking his son away behind a rock so that he'd be safely out of the way; then he turned on his attacker. The snow leopard was as fierce as he was strong, letting out a roar of rage as he punched, kicked and clawed at his attacker. It was the one that had grabbed his ankle, already wounded, and Sonam was not going to let him live long enough to get him and his son.

He struck the mortal blow, the attacker falling back and hitting his head on a rock. He stopped moving. Sonam yanked the mask off the pursuer's face. Jiao Zhou. Well, so the old tiger finally croaked. Sonam swelled with pride; he'd have to let Aunt Wu know the great patriarch was dead.

He looked back at the vermillion doors, and the little bundle nestled by them. His little son, Tenzin, started to cry. Sonam cursed; while he had initially welcomed his son's healthy set of lungs, this would put them both in danger! As he moved to comfort the babe, the doors opened. Sonam stood still and watched as a red panda perhaps no older than his late thirties, stood on the doorstep, staring at the child in wonderment.

The small creature knelt to pick up the child, who was still wailing. Sonam hid behind a tree and watched carefully, flexing his claws. If that red panda were to hurt his little boy…

To his relief, he saw the red panda smile, hugging the baby snow leopard tenderly; Tenzin stopped crying and only fussed a little. Taking one last moment to look around to see who left the baby, the red panda sighed and shook his head before stepping inside and closing the doors.

Sonam smiled. Tenzin was safe.

The sound of a sword being quickly drawn from its sheath caught his attention, and when he looked, all he saw was the flash of metal in the moonlight…


Tai Lung was snapped back to the present, his face wet. He was crying. He hadn't cried since he was a child, a very young child. But here he was, a grown man, having just experienced his first vision, and it had been of his father's death.

Wu grasped his hand tightly. "When I saw you in the snow, I thought you were Sonam…then I realized you had to be little Tenzin. I took you in, hoping against hope that you were just like your father."

She paused; he knew exactly what she was going to say.

"When I found out you were also Tai Lung…I was…disheartened."

"Disappointed," he muttered.

"What?"

"Say it, you were disappointed!" he seethed bitterly. "Sonam gave his life for me, and look how I've lived mine!"

"How were you to know? You were scarcely a year old when you were found…"

"I disappointed Shifu…and, wherever they are, I've dishonored my parents…" he said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He was crying, but he didn't care. "Vachir was right…"

"About what?" Wu said sternly. "What could that blowhard be right about?"

"I believed him, I believed him when he said no one gave a damn about me. My birth mother abandoned me, and my master abandoned me. Locked me up, threw away the key, no one wanted me…"

Wu felt something inside her snap. "I see…so on top of the physical torture, he sought emotional as well? And he was hailed as a hero…bah, my eye!" She stood and looked him dead in the eye, cupping his chin in her hands. "Now you listen here, your mother and father loved you very much. Your father gave his life so that you would be safe and well cared for. He intended to join you at the Jade Palace…but…"

"Jiao got to him first," he finished darkly. Wu nodded, "And that's what I was trying to do. Tai Lung…Tenzin, you grew up never knowing a mother's love, and forgetting that you were loved…and still are."

She wiped away a tear, smiling reassuringly. "I still remember the day you learned to crawl. It was during training, I was leading a class, and all of a sudden, there's a little furball in the middle of the floor, sitting up and giggling. 'Look,' I said, 'there's a little someone who wants to learn kung fu too!'"

He smiled slightly. She wrapped her arms around his neck, whispering tenderly in his ear, "I saved you, and kept you here, because I knew that deep down, there was still good in you. Your mother was good, your father was good. The only darkness inside you is the pain and regret of never knowing your true family."

"And why did you keep me from training?"

"Forgive me," she said, looking into his eyes, "I was worried you would go on another rampage…I want people to see you for who you really are. That beast that went on a rampage twice is not who you are! You are the son of Sonam and Nima, and you might as well be my blood nephew! As far as I'm concerned, you are my family, and I will not give up on you. I know there is good in you, I have seen it."

"How?" he demanded. "When have you seen it? I'm bad through and through!"

"Are you? You could have killed Dalang when he slipped healing herbs into your meals; you could have overpowered Su Lin, and slain Mei Xing when she attacked you. You also could have left at any time, and yet you didn't."

This stunned him. "What?"

"You could have left," she confessed. "You were free to leave, any time you wanted, and yet you stayed. Even when you went out last night, you still came back." She kissed his cheek tenderly, like a mother consoling a child. "That is how I know there's good in you."

"You don't want me to train."

"I never said that. I said you weren't ready. The history I just told you…I had no idea how you would take it." She paused, then hugged him. "But judging from all of this…I think you are ready."


Later that night, Po was back in the kitchen mixing up something for a midnight snack. Everyone else had gone to bed a long time ago, and the panda was still up and about. This was a sign, as usual, that he would experience something wonderful.

"Is this seat taken?"

Po whirled around and found Tai Lung standing on the other side of the table. The snow leopard looked nothing like what Po remembered. The usual bravado and arrogance normally on the cat's features were gone, replaced by…dare he say it…humility?

"Nah, have a seat," Po said. "Hungry?"

Tai Lung stared at the stove, then shrugged. "If you want, I could."

Po served up two bowls of red beans and rice. Tai Lung silently took the bowl and chopsticks, then stared at the table as the Dragon Warrior dug in. The cat left his food untouched.

"I thought you said you were hungry?"

"I said I'd try," he said softly, then looked up, shoving the food to the side. "What I'm about to tell you, you must swear absolute secrecy. I don't care what happens to me, from here on out. If I'm discovered, captured and executed, so be it, I'll have paid for my sins. But the people I'm about to tell you about…not a word."

Po didn't like where this conversation was going. "Okay, I promise to keep your secret…whatever it is."

Tai Lung told him, everything. The mountain, Chor-Ghom, Aunt Wu and her family, and the revelation of the leopard's past. He unloaded on the panda in a way he could have never done with anyone else. Po sat quietly and listened as Tai Lung let everything out, all the frustration, the pain, the anger, the feelings of helplessness, all of it tumbled out like a damn bursting. When he was done, Po sat back.

"Wow."

"Indeed."

"I mean, wow…your dad really loved you."

"I wish I could believe that."

"No seriously…He carried you all the way here, and left you, intending to come back…and besides, I can't think of a better place for protection. And that Aunt Wu lady is really…"

"Wu Lien?" he laughed mirthlessly. "Yes, that threw me for a loop too."

"You got lucky," the panda said, then paused. "That Su Lin sounds really sweet."

Tai Lung smiled wistfully, thinking of the bubbly panda girl, who always greeted him with sunny smile and an energetic "good morning!" every day. "You have no idea…but that's why I'm here. I am not accepting your offer for training."

"Oh," Po said dejectedly.

"I want to ask you a favor—that you train Su Lin and Mei Xing."

"Huh?"

"Mei Xing has legitimate reasons for learning kung fu, you know that," he hadn't elaborated the female's story, just the base notes, "And Su Lin…well, I'd feel better knowing that she knew the basics to protecting herself."

"Why can't you teach them?"

"I've never taught anyone in my life!"

"Neither have I, buddy!"

He hadn't thought about that. Leopard and panda glared at each other a moment, then Po got an idea. "We train them together."

"What? What kind of talk is that?"

"Think about it, you need practice sparring—we can do that together—and teach the girls at the same time."

"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard."

There was a long pause. Tai Lung and Po shared a look, then the leopard sighed, and shrugged nonchalantly.

"Alright, let's do it."


FYI: Nima, Sonam and Tenzin are real Tibetan names: Nima and all its alternative spellings is a unisex name meaning "sun". Sonam means "the fortunate one" and Tenzin—Tai Lung's birth name—means "Protector of Dharma".

Dharma, like other aspects of any religion, is difficult to pin down in a simple sentence. In Hinduism, Dharma is just as important as Karma, if not more so, and is interpreted by some to be the way in which we should govern our lives. In Buddhism, some regard dharma as the ultimate truth behind all things. Overall though, it's thought to mean "the righteous path", which Tai Lung is only just beginning to find.

Thanks for reading!